ivankiss

@B222 It just comes down to experience. I remember fooling around with girls from the age of 7. And I never really stopped. I always had some female company, one way or the other. I also had 3 semi-long relationships. 9 years of experience in that field. That's way more than most guys in their late twenties have - I'd say. This last relationship was the ultimate lesson. It feels like it lasted 20 years, not 4. It swallowed me whole, chewed me and spat me out. I can still hear the echoes. Lp or girls - you ask? If I had to choose only one... Lp - for sure. I could live without pussy - I guess - but not without music. I actually have a very simple plan. I narrowed down everything I want from life in this chapter to 3 things. A trinity. I'm kinda locked in and have that tunnel vision these days.. Money. Music. Sex. That's what I'm after now. Pretty much in that exact order, too. Simple and clear. No bs. @Shin I already have a few private films of mine - if you're interested No, but seriously. I'm sure this is just a phase. I'll get it out of my system and things will stabilize, inevitably.

@Husseinisdoingfine Thanks, will check! @AtheisticNonduality Haha, true dat. Had that covered already. This girl I'm seeing made cum like a king. It's been a while since I last had sex this good... It's just that we're not hanging out too often. And I'm hungry every 2 hours

@Heart of Space We been here before... I cannot value or respect your opinion, sorry. You obviously have no idea what you're talking about. Let alone what's going on with me. @MatteO22 Thanks

Not gonna lie, it is a potentially very good position. I always kinda knew my way around women. I speak their language. But there are some things that are bugging me. I'm not reaching my full potential as of now. That's what I'm trying to work out. Very true. I'm familiar with solitude. But I'd like to contrast the peace and quite I acquired with some consistent, juicy action. You know... balance n stuff. I think we all have those traits. We can totally crush it in whatever it is that we love to do. Glad you enjoy doing your stuff. You got my thumbs up. I like juggling and multitasking. Also enjoy climbing up and down the ladder. It's very fun and I'm learning at lightning speed. Something tells me women kinda notice that. I catch their looks.

@Shin Good night you nasty

@DIDego Wait.. Are you suggesting I should marry a girl and make a child with her so I could fuck 24/7, 9 months later? Either that, or I'm smoking some weird shit tonight

@Shin It's a jokey joke. Except the part about my ex betraying me. That's kinda true. And it still kinda hurts. And maybe I wanna fuck away the pain. Thanks for listening Shin. You're a good friend.

@Shin You betrayed me when I needed you the most. Just like my ex. I will never forget that.

I know. I'm not interested in joining in on the topic. Will not disturb.

God I love women. I love them small, I love them big. I love them short, I love them tall. Ok, maybe not too tall and not too big. But God do I love women. I love their ability to mesmerize. To seduce. To draw you in. To make you forget about your name. To make you feel like the earth stopped spinning for a moment. Like time has frozen. Like there is no one else in this entire Universe. Women are absolutely awesome and gorgeous. I'm a total sucker for them. It's just the truth. Some can do you nasty - that's true. And it's likely that it's becaus they have been done nasty by dudes. Not much we can do about it. It's all just a wild game of love.

The root cause of suffering is suffering.

Do you think it's basically the same?

@integral Thanks. I'm pretty sure I watched that one already, but I might as well put it on again. I tried transcending the impulse. I was sticking to that plan - initially. It went alright for a while and the cravings got quieter. But then I had sex once and it hit me hard. I was unable to shake the urge off since then. At least not for real. I can only reach a temporary relief. But the next day the impulses again tell me to fuck everything that's living and breathing haha. Not sure if I'm dealing with an addiction here or just mother nature. Perhaps a mix of both.

I don't think it's a sin. But it can surely become a problem. As long as you're being real with yourself and your partners; I don't think there is harm in casual sex. It all comes down to who you are and who you're having sex with. Also; how frequently you change sexual partners, how needy you are, etc. That's something to think about before going down that road - I'd say. I had some pretty good casual sex in the past. Not too frequently and not with too many partners... but casual sex I had. I don't have a negative belief about it. I think it can be relevant on one's journey to have casual fun and release some steam, here and there. Just do it in a healthy and safe way.

I like what you're doing @Shin Keep it up!

I guess if I was to put it as clearly as I can; my question is: Should I let myself loose and act this out fully or should I suck it up and transcend it? I'm kinda leaning towards the first option. It seems more relevant. Resonates a bit more. Maybe I should become a better hunter and always have a few girls at disposal, instead of relying on one girl only. It's a role I'm not used to playing, but maybe that's what I need now.

@Hello from Russia I think it's doable. It is only a matter of two horny people finding each other The previous fwb I had used to call a taxi to my place nearly every other day haha. And pay for it. It was the ultimate booty call. But we were not a very good match - energetically. She was not exactly submissive. I don't like masculine chicks. @integral I wish it was that easy. I want to 'just let it go'. But it won't let go of me

@Hello from Russia Got out of a situation like that not too long ago. As I said; not feeling quite ready for a full blown relationship. Especially not moving in with someone.

@Zeroguy Kinda doing that already, yup. @MatteO22 Thanks. Will do some introspection. As of now; I think sex only represents a source of reaaally good feelings. It's like ecstasy. I love losing myself in the act. That already says enough, if I think about it a bit... @Applegarden8 Thanks! Will hit you up later!

I thought I travelled back in time. Was not even surprised.

This cute title came to me just minutes ago under the shower. It came with a download. I don't know about you, but I definitely went through a period of trying to escape thought. To ignore it. To pretend like it's not there. It didn't work. I ended up turning it into the enemy. The complete and exact opposite of who I really am. It was The Duality. I still catch myself trying to fight tought off here and there. But thankfully; I can laugh my way out now. Or shake it all off. I don't feel like there are two. As in; Me (Absolute) and The Thought. It seems like that duality collapsed. Although I'm still getting kinda used to it. So maybe you can relate to this. Maybe you're already through, or still caught in between. In any case, here's what I'd like to say; It's ok to think, bro. You're not committing a crime against The Universe if you think. You're not doing anything wrong. Thought is a quality of God. Of You. It's perfectly fine that it's there. It's also perfectly fine if it's not there. There is no need to kill thought. Now, 'turning the cheek on it' can be a spiritual practice. For the purpose of Self-Realization. But once The Truth dawns on you - if you will - there is no real need to get rid of anything. Including thought. But here's the thing; Think consciously. It is possible. Choose high quality thoughts. Be creative in your thinking space. Think as The Creator. Because you are The Creator. Especially from thought's point of view. In thought you must be at peace with duality. It's also good if you have a deep understanding of it. It can serve you immensely. Anything you desire to experience yourself as, to build, to establish, to form, to organize, to create, to start... All that requires thought and understanding of duality. You must get how things click with each-other. How the puzzles fit. All this can be incredibly fun, exciting, expensive, beautiful, joyful. It can be done effortlessly. Simply know your thought. Understand that main and biggest duality of them all. The Mother Of All Dualities. Actuality vs. Thought. God vs. Thought (of God). There is no real opposition. No boundary. The boundary is imaginary. There to serve a purpose. To serve You. In thought you must be comfortable with uncertainty and the unknown. Being wrong. Being ignorant. All that jazz. Simply because you cannot know it all in thought. You cannot see it all in thought. You cannot be certain of everything in thought. It's good that you learn how to notice when you're in that spot, and in that moment simply surrender thought to the unknown. To God. Simply know that you don't know. Understand that you don't understand. See that you don't see. You cannot stop thinking. You can only surrender thought to Light - when it comes. Thought can also be taken away from you, and dissolve into The Light of pure presence. But you can never throw it away or destroy it. Find peace in thought. Think constructively. Don't be afraid to think of the future or the past. Be excited (now) for the future and grateful for the past. Build and work towards your goals and visions. Be aligned with your purpose. Just be aware if and how you're thinking. Steer that imaginary ship. Fall in love with it. Have fun.

'Would you be my daddy?' No I won't be your daddy, you poor little traumatized soul. Are people seriously enjoying this? I mean, yeah, cool, have your kinks and stuff. I am very pro kink. But this shit is kinda twisted. And a bit sad. It screams in your face 'daddy issues'. These girls more often than not seek a parent figure, actually. Not a boyfriend. Am I the only one who thinks it's kinda sick you want your daddy to f*$@ you and pull your hair? I mean... what? To me it seems absolutely absurd to approach a girl with; 'hey sexy, wanna be my mommy?' Haha. The fuck. Some of you people are nasty motherfuckers. Like, you need to sort out some shit before you start screwing around. Because this trend sucks. I get that it's a power play. Submission and dominance. I'm all in for that. If I enter a role play like that; I demand the girl to call me 'Master'. That seems kinda healthy, doesn't it? It is a very dominant position. And it does not involve her family. Am I not seeing something here?

@Kalo Are you saying you don't ever think?

I was suddenly inspired to create this thread. Hopefully I'll connect a few dots here with the forum's help. Some users might know that I'm a musician and that music is my greatest love. My deepest passion. I often shared bits and pieces of my story here. Speaking of how music saved my life, how it guided me through life and how it ultimately led me to Truth. Enlightenment - if you will. And although it's a story I enjoy telling and there is much to be said - I'll leave that part out in this thread. I want to focus on a specific 'issue' here. So in short - Here's what happened; Been making music since I was a kid. Reached a point where I kinda started seeing some promising results (in terms of success) and then... *enter massive awakening*. Full on and as deep as it goes. The experience was fast, scary and intense af. Kinda dramatic. But also beautiful and one of a kind. Point is; in a span of 5-6 years everything was wiped out of 'my life'. Pretty much everything you can imagine one can lose - I lost it. Music and my 'former self' included. From a rather limited point of view; it totally seemed like I was forced to give it all up. But in my heart I knew it had to be done. It wasn't easy or pretty. The fire swallowed me whole. But... We all come back... don't we? I was at 'ground zero' for some time and then started 'recreating' everything from scratch. Everything from how I want to talk, walk and take shit to how I relate to people, what my values are, my true vision, desires etc. And also; how to get to all those things. I created a brand new blueprint for my self and my life. I wanted to align everything with The Truth that I realized. Now I'm not saying I'm the most enlightened guy ever, or anything like that. I'm definitely in for many more awakenings. And I'm looking forward to that. But the one that was a complete and utter 'game-changer' is - in that sense - already behind me. So to get to the point: I don't fucking know what kind of music I want to make haha. I cannot do what I used to do prior to awakening. Even though those projects looked promising back then; it just doesn't feel right to continue down that road. But I also do not have a new, unique and distinctive style 'in mind'. You must understand that I enjoy A LOT of music. Both listening to and playing/creating it. So narrowing everything down to a single style and project seems hella challenging. But I know it can be done. I witnessed the magic happen 'for me' before. It's the most satisfying thing an artist can experience - imo. When all the stars align - effortlessly. When everything you are and stand for (and even more) somehow perfectly translates into a musical journey. When you give birth to something far greater than yourself. A true, timeless masterpiece. In a sense; I'm creating this thread more because I feel impatient than because I feel lost. I am so damn eager to cum all over the world - musically speaking. There's so much I want to say. So much I want to express. So much I want to share... But I know the timing isn't right yet. No matter how contradictory that may seem to woke people here haha. Time, space or any other illusory phenomena you try to fight off while waking up simply doesn't bother you all that much once you've awakened to a certain degree. You're completely fine with all those things - most of the time. Illusory or not. And you most certainly are not afraid of using words like time, space, people, identity, etc - in order to paint a picture. You see through the illusion but also respect the apparent process. Because you're wise enough to know that grand visions take time to actualize here. Even some blood, sweat and tears - sometimes. And that's all cool. All Love. All Goodness. So I think I'm doing the smart thing here. Hear me out; I committed to attaining a larger amount of money, first. I am focused on work and business much more than I am on my creative side - atm. And work, business and money kinda live in a different realm of existence than heart-felt creativity. Maybe I'm wrong - but that's what's true in my experience right now. I know why I'm not seeing the results I want to see when it comes to music. Simply because my focus and energy are flowing elsewhere. I'm kinda embodying a different frequency throughout my day. A very strict, from A to B, 'get the job done' kind of vibe. And that's not in alignment with gentle, love-making with your instrument. You cannot force a masterpiece into existence. And you also cannot calculate your way to it. My idea is simple and clear: Make loads of money, buy epic studio equipment, pay for courses/lessons to even further develop my skills, make epic, never-before-heard music, pay for proper marketing and management and really do this whole thing 'the right way'. Professionally - if you will. But also of course; there are many more benefits I see in pursuing money first and music second. In this period/phase - that is. In the long run; I obviously want to be fully dedicated to and focused on my deepest passion. Any time I pick up my guitar these days and I play or sing or try to write; I feel like something's missing. it's not the joy or the heart. The love is still undeniably there. It's burning even wilder now. But something is not quite there yet. A true (musical) identity. A signature. That's why I feel like an upgrade is needed. I must take things to the next level and reach higher definition. And that requires money, my friends. Unless you want to play small. Nothing wrong with that either - I guess. It's just not an option for me. Not my cup of tea. So what do you guys think? Anyone here went through something similar? You think I'm thinking smart? Or am I not seeing something? Thanks!

Think of raising your hand. Now actually raise it. Thinking of it makes it seem as if you have free will. But in actuality; there is no you to have free will. Nothing ever happened. To question free will is paradoxical as fuck. It makes no sense.