ivankiss

Thanks guys. I really appreciate it. As I said; I'm pretty sure this is just a phase. At this very moment; I don't feel like I desire sex. I am transcendent. Having sex now would actually lower my frequency. Right now; I cannot identify with my original post. It seems so distant. That being said; I have been inquiring quite a lot since then. I don't really seek for a reason, or cause. I don't really care why I feel the way I do. It simply comes to what I choose to do with it. How I choose to express it. Sex is obviously amazing. I don't see a reason why I should not pursue it - if it feels right at the time. However; being a slave to your urges is another thing. I don't think I am, overall. Maybe I felt that way for a few brief moments, but it was just a short disturbance. I feel empowered now. In charge of my shit. My sexual life included. This is not just about sex to me. There is a lot that I'm learning and integrating by pursuing sex. I'm not just mindlessly chasing tail. So yeah. In short; life is good. I'm young, attractive and live in a vibrant city, full of young, attractive people. Shying away from this experience would be the wrong choice. No doubt about it.

@puporing @Eternal Unity Nice. Thank you both. Here's a lil update; I took some of your advices here and started searching for more fwb's. I'm at 3 now. Things are looking good. The urges are not that strong nowadays. And I'm having an epic time whenever I hang out with these 3 girls. I doubt I'll be going too crazy about it... But one or two more girls can't hurt Thanks all for your thoughts! Very helpful.

@Gnosis it's a cool spot to hang out at

Life, death, love

Let me put things into a perspective for you. In my past; I've been avoiding being single and by myself. Loving myself - in that sense. I ended up in a very toxic relationship, constantly being treated like shit. Then I ended that shit and started spending tons of time by myself. Healing, learning, growing. Crying, cursing, laughing. Loving myself. Now... I feel fucking amazing and am pretty much being bombarded with pussy. Life's amazing.

Cool, I can vibe with that.

@Heart of Space Very well put. Thanks.

I prefer two girls What can I say... Some seek pleasure in pain

Yup, it's pretty obvious. I rejected the offer immediately, of course This one time I was actually in a spontaneous threesome with a very good friend of mine. It was kinda brief, but also cool and not that awkward, at all. And we avoided each-outher's dicks - big time No gay activity whatsoever. So yeah, I'm not 100% against it, I guess. But it's a strong no in this situation. I tried them for a few minutes in the past. Not fun, at all. But the view is nice from up there

Ok, apparently, he's not totally gay. He's bisexual. Now he wants me to have a threesome with a girl he's seeing

@Etherial Cat Well that's just fucking sick. I am struggling to digest this now. I cannot even imagine how bad it must be to walk in their shoes. Let alone heels. Those must suck too

@Nos7algiK @Etherial Cat Wise words. Been having pretty much the same thoughts. Thanks!

Holy shit! So this is how it's like for the majority of girls... Shit... Maybe that's what I'm being led to integrate now. Fuck that went deep quick.

@Preety_India I understand where you're coming from. And there is definitely a time and a space for taking those steps. But I don't feel like that's so in my case. Not at all. I also doubt it will escalate to that point. I'm pretty confident I can solve this issue in a chill way. No drama.

@MatteO22 Haha, no, I don't smell anything criminal here. Just a gay dude trying to fuck a straight dude it's awkward. That's it. But yeah, if he keeps crossing the line I'll have to cut him out completely. I barely know the guy. He is a regular at our coffee shop. I think he's cool and fun to be around. But this sexual stuff might be in the way of a potential friendship. I'm 27 btw. He's in his early 30s.

@Preety_India Yeah, I guess you're right... but I don't feel assaulted, really. More like irritated. Annoyed. At first it was a bit flattering. Now it's becoming a pain in the ass. No pun intended

@MatteO22 dude!

Matt Kahn explains this beautifully:

I do not see this mentioned too often on the path. There is realization - which all are after and chasing. And then there is being (God) - which is a whole new journey on its own. What prevents you from embarking on that journey, and so-to-speak complete the circle, is holding onto realization. - assuming that you indeed, truly realized yourself as God. You fail to see how realization is keeping you stuck. Or maybe you kinda see, but have not cultivated enough courage and faith to just let go, once and for all. You are afraid of falling from grace. As if there's something you could lose. As if The Light could ever leave you. It is the biggest of letting go's. Your graduation. The point where the journey of mastery begins. You are essentially saying: Cool, I'm God. And I'm fine with completely forgetting that now. I trust The Light within me, that I am now. And then you go live your life with your heart wide open. Not thinking about what is real or unreal, who are you and who are others, how infinite is Infinity... none of that. You live a very down-to-earth life. Hold onto no realization. No matter how grand or high it may seem. No matter how groundbreaking it was when you had it. Let all that be. Let it all drift away, slowly, gently. You are simply being (God). Simply loving life.

Just because there is no past and no future... Doesn't mean there's anything in-between, either. 'Now' is as equally nothing as a past or a future. #superzen

@Julian gabriel Purpose. Passion. Dream. I was willing to die for my purpose. Willing to die for Love. ...I also did some psychedelics, here and there.

@Julian gabriel Full realization of being God. And more. It was unimaginable. The intensity of the 'experience' kinda left a mark on my psyche. I was not nearly prepared for what happened. But I'm confident to say that I healed at least 80% of that trauma.

I have no idea what you guys are talking about

Yup. I had no idea what was going on. Just that something big was going on. And that it was beyond me and the world I've been living in. I even had the realization that I'm God before I ever knew that's even possible. I started my research after my deepest, most insane and intense awakening experience. To me; all of this is just gaining conceptual understanding on what has been, or is going on right now. In that sense; I was never really a seeker. Truth found me. It was kind of a forced entry.

You are afraid of losing him before you even entered the relationship fully. That's why you said what you said. Out of fear, desperation and neediness. Been there. Not a pleasant spot. Work the issue out by yourself and then explain to him why you acted the way you did. Also; think about whether this dude is really what you think he is. Maybe you're just projecting your image of a perfect guy onto him, and that has nothing to do with who he actually is. Him calling you stupid should say enough already.