ivankiss

@peanutspathtotruth It's kinda hot in there. Don't dress up

@Hulia AHAHAHA ❤

@Hulia Where you see judgment, I see close observation and careful examination.

Reasons to be in a relationship with J: - She's a sweetheart. Kind, humble, generous, compassionate, loving. All extremely high qualities. Our core - values match very good. - She's smart, responsible, mature and hard-working. She got her shit handled. - She's petite. And very hot. My type. - She's not too loud or aggressive in expression. Kinda holding back a bit. I like it. - Sex is bomb. And it could potentially get much, much better. Communication is bomb. The vibe is amazing. All very important things. Reasons not to be in a relationship with J: - Huge gap in terms of spirituality. She has not gone through a full-blown awakening. I'm pretty sure of that. God-realization is even further down the line. - She's really hot. But not as hot as I think I can score. I simply know this girl is not 'it'. May come off as dick-headish... but it's really just a matter of me being clear on my preferences. And sticking to them. - She is not aligned with her passion/vision/dream/mission. She does have a lot of passion flowing through her veins, but she's not in touch with her deepest desires - I'd say. She works a dead-end job, and that's it. Nothing too ambitious going on outside of that. I'm sure I could show her the path, and even walk her through it... guide her. It could be a beautiful experience, for both of us. But then again, why would I do that? I don't want another project. I want someone who's on the same wavelength. The same level. Someone who can mirror me well. Follow my reflection. See things from the same mountaintop. And that shit is very, very rare. But I trust I will recognize it when I see it. J, is just not 'her'. Also; she's kinda conservative and sticks to tradition. A bit too much of a contry-side girl - for my taste. Way too attached to her family, home, etc. A girl like that cannot travel the world with me and make heaven on earth. She's just not equipped for that kind of a journey.

@Hulia It's called 'role-play', dummy

@Hulia that's hard to do when you're also a decent, respectful, loving person. Besides; you're kinda fun.

@Hulia Because you don't. You're lost in lalaland. In your fantasy. And now you're dragging me into that madness, too. Just like my ex. Thinking you know something with dead certainty about someone else, is massive delusion. You only know stuff about yourself. And even that is questionable. Everything else is just guesswork. Hallucination.

@Hulia You think you know a lot of stuff, don't you?

Maybe the old me. Not as I am now. As I am now; I am wise enough to not commit to a relationship. I'm simply not ready. Even with a wonderful, honest, healthy, kind, loving and fun girl, as J is.

Btw, you rooting for things to go south between me and J is kinda evil.

@Hulia Haha; trust me, I do not prefer what was going on in my previous relationship. But it was an epic ride. Lesson learned the hard way. Furthermore; when it came to sex, I was always the one in charge. I was very dominant with her in the bed. It was great. Until it wasn't anymore.

"What has been put asunder shall again be whole" In this neon black gloom I still see her face She comes to me bringing darkest hour, I am forlorn The pain is reborn You are forever in my heart you never died You are forever I still wonder where you are I know you're dreaming, I know you're at peace I'll meet you in the dreamtime Whenever you call me I'll go under, I'll swim through you You are forever in my heart you never died You are forever I still wonder where you are I know you're dreaming neon black "As the curtain calls, and the cast recedes, I am all that ever was and all that ever will be. In wither and repose this frayed chapter now does close, and fade into neon black"

Qui dove il mare luccica, E tira forte il vento Su una vecchia terrazza Davanti al golfo di Surriento Un uomo abbraccia una ragazza, Dopo che aveva pianto Poi si schiarisce la voce, E ricomincia il canto. Te voglio bene assaje, Ma tanto tanto bene sai è una catena ormai, Che scioglie il sangue dint' 'e 'vvene sai. Vide le luci in mezzo al mare, Pensò alle notti là in America Ma erano solo le lampare Nella bianca scia di un'elica Sentì il dolore nella musica, Si alzò dal pianoforte Ma quando vide la luna uscire da una nuvola Gli sembrò più dolce anche la morte Guardò negli occhi la ragazza, Quelli occhi verdi come il mare Poi all'improvviso uscì una lacrima, E lui credette di affogare Te voglio bene assaje, Ma tanto tanto bene sai è una catena ormai, Che scioglie il sangue dint' 'e 'vvene sai Potenza della lirica, Dove ogni dramma è un falso Che con un po' di trucco e con la mimica Puoi diventare un altro Ma due occhi che ti guardano Così vicini e veri Ti fan scordare le parole, Confondono i pensieri Così diventa tutto piccolo, Anche le notti là in America Ti volti e vedi la tua vita Come la scia di un'elica Ma sì, è la vita che finisce, Ma lui non ci pensò poi tanto Anzi si sentiva già felice, E ricominciò il suo canto Te voglio bene assaje, Ma tanto tanto bene sai è una catena ormai, Che scioglie il sangue dint' 'e 'vvene sai

Vivo per lei da quando sai La prima volta l'ho incontrata Non mi ricordo come ma Mi è entrata dentro e c'è restata Vivo per lei perché mi fa Vibrare forte l'anima Vivo per lei e non è un peso Vivo per lei anch'io lo sai E tu non esserne geloso Lei è di tutti quelli che Hanno un bisogno sempre acceso Come uno stereo in camera Di chi è da solo e adesso sa Che è anche per lui, per questo Io vivo per lei È una musa che ci invita A sfiorarla con le dita Attraverso un pianoforte La morte è lontana Io vivo per lei Vivo per lei che spesso sa Essere dolce e sensuale A volte picchia in testa ma È un pugno che non fa mai male Vivo per lei, lo so mi fa Girare di città in città Soffrire un po', ma almeno io vivo È un dolore quando parte Vivo per lei dentro gli hotels Con piacere estremo cresce Vivo per lei nel vortice Attraverso la mia voce Si espande e amore produce Vivo per lei, nient'altro ho E quanti altri incontrerò Che come me hanno scritto in viso Io vivo per lei Io vivo per lei Sopra un palco o contro un muro Vivo per lei al limite Anche in un domani duro Vivo per lei al margine Ogni giorno Una conquista La protagonista Sarà sempre lei Vivo per lei perché oramai Io non ho altra via d'uscita Perché la musica, lo sai Davvero non l'ho mai tradita Vivo per lei perché mi dà Pause e note in libertà Ci fosse un'altra vita la vivo La vivo per lei Vivo per lei la musica Io vivo per lei Vivo per lei è unica Io vivo per lei Io vivo per lei Io vivo Per lei

Hűvös lett már az éj, A fákon nincs már levél, Hamar elmúlt a nyár, Magával vitt egy lányt, Sebzett szívem még fáj Talán már nem is gondol rám. Bánatomat dalban mondom el, Elrejteni, érzem nem lehet. Próbáltam félretenni, Álomnak venni. A valóság úgy fáj, Túlságosan elrabolt a vágy! Bánatomat dalban mondom el, Elrejteni, érzem nem lehet. Próbáltam félretenni, álomnak venni. A valóság úgy fáj, Túlságosan elrabolt a vágy! Derűs lesz majd az ég A remény szívemben él újra jönnél felém újra bújnál mellém Forróbb lenne az éj Talán már ez halvány szép remény. Bánatomat dalban mondom el, Elrejteni, érzem nem lehet. Próbáltam félretenni, Álomnak venni. A valóság úgy fáj, Túlságosan elrabolt a vágy! Bánatomat dalban mondom el, Elrejteni, érzem nem lehet. Próbáltam félretenni, álomnak venni. A valóság úgy fáj, Túlságosan elrabolt a vágy!

Lažeš zlato, lažeš dušo, lažeš vještice Lažeš tvojim slatkim jezikom kurve svetice Medeno sve mednije Kobno, ko što niko nikog lagao nije Postoji milion načina da te ostavim Ali ne postoji ni jedan da te prebolim Ja sam crn sedef za tvoje uho Ja sam ludak od marcipana dušo Oooo, biće mi žao Biće meni žao, žao Uzeće je drugi, uzeće je Moja biti neće Lažeš zlato, lažeš dušo, lažeš vještice Lažeš tvojim slatkim jezikom kurve svetice "Pjevaj, duga je iznad tebe Pjevaj, Bog je danas na tvojoj strani, golube"

Things are getting a bit dark and heavy today, but do not worry, people. We're all safe. Just keep your head above the water. Breathe. Here's another masterpiece. A classic. I tried to love you I thought I could I tried to own you I thought I would I want to peel the skin from your face Before the real you lays to waste You told me I'm the only one Sweet little angel you should have run Lying, crying, dying to leave Innocence creates my hell Cheating myself still you know more It would be so easy with a whore Try to understand me little girl My twisted passion to be your world Lost inside my sick head I live for you but I'm not alive Take my hand before I kill I still love you, but, I still burn Yeah, love, hate, love Yeah, love, hate, love

@Zeroguy We should totally jam some time. Ex-yu i ta scena. Also; let's leave sex at where it belongs. In my diary.

@Zeroguy Come, come... There is room for 3. And more.

I will, and if I may; you're quite outstanding yourself

@Zeroguy Awesome, love you, man! Keep rockin'!

@Peter Miklis I wanted to end it many times, but something inside kept me going The post, I mean.. @Zeroguy I bought handcuffs earlier. I took a picture and posted it on the previous page I'm not really explaining myself. More like; expressing myself Cepaj Miki!

In my deepest and darkest moments of pain, sorrow and hate... I listened to this song. Thinking about you. Wallowing in thoughts about how you took my innocent, naive, all-loving heart and stabbed it when I least expected. When I loved you the deepest. The craziest. The sickest. You knew you had me. Bravo! I must give it to you. You got me really damn good, baby. You are a master at your craft. It was true when you know who told you that you're not a bad person... you just do bad things. I find that quite accurate. I've seen your heart. I've dug through all those endless layers of shit and found your spark. I know you cannot deny that. But you sure tried as hard as you could. I was grieving for the longest time. Grieving the fake version of you, that you pretended so well to be. Grieving the real version of you. That's right. Even that nasty, twisted bitch beneath the mask. And the hurt, little, innocent girl beneath that. I felt the loss deeply. I was also grieving the loss of my innocence. The guy I was before I met you. This friendly, open-harted, optimistic and full of life dude. He died. The day I cut contact with you. It was painful beyond words, baby. But I let it consume me fully. I showed what I was made of. I stood my ground. I did not look away. And then; I was gone. I also felt deep, deep pain for you. My poor, little soul. Life has not been gentle with you. You've seen enough. Been through enough. I truly empathize with all that. You know I do. But I cannot let it poison me, any longer. I had to move on and realign with my highest calling. My truest mission. I hope you can forgive me. I trust you understand. You are a very smart girl. So yeah... Fuck you. For all the sick, twisted shit you dragged me through. Fuck you for all the lies. The manipulation. The devaluation. Demoralization. Madness. Hell. But also; I love The Light in you forever, and to that; I am forever grateful. Thank you for setting me free. Thank you for making me see just how fucked up and wounded I was, too. Thank you for keeping me company. Even if it wasn't the highest of the quality, most of the times. Thank you for blessing me with the gift of free will. Freedom of choice. The tone of my voice. The ability to stand up and leave in silence. To give up. To let go. To say 'NO' and mean it. To stand my ground. To transcend and outgrow. Thank you for revealing me my strength. My power. My will. My intelligence. My stupidity. My ignorance. My carelessness. My commitment. Dedication. Vision. Faith. Love. But most importantly; Thank you for this wild, fun, epic, never-before-heard-of story. An epic saga. I am forever grateful for that. It was, indeed, a movie. As we knew it would be, from the very beginning. We just did not think it would end in pain and betrayal. It was unimaginable. Unthinkable. To me - at least. It was a dream. A nightmare. A story filled with horror and delight. And it could have not happened without you, D. May you be happy and at peace, wherever you may roam. Hopefully; our paths do not cross anytime soon. Farewell, my love. There you were, my precious Not long ago Hiding behind the shadows Of your broken soul Why is it always You want something you can never have? Why did you try to tempt me? How could you be this way? Your throat I take grasp (can't you feel the pain?) Then your eyes roll back (can't you feel the pain?) Love racing (can't you feel the pain?) Through my veins (can't you feel the pain?) Your heart stops beating (can't you feel the pain?) Black orgasms (yes, you feel the pain) I kiss your (can't you feel the pain?) Lifeless skin There you were, my precious With your broken soul Rubbing my crotch elated Taking control Why is it always You fuck up something you have always had? Why'd you try to tempt me? How could you be so cold? Your throat I take grasp (can't you feel the pain?) Then your eyes roll back (can't you feel the pain?) Love racing (can't you feel the pain?) Through my veins (yes, I need the pain) Your heart stops beating (can't you feel the pain?) Black orgasms (yes, you feel the pain) I kiss your (can't you feel the pain?) Lifeless skin Here I am, just a man Feeling pain, gives me life Relieving yours is my plan I'd do anything just to see through your eyes Just to see through your eyes Just to see through your eyes Just to see through your eyes Just to see through your eyes I hate you, can't you feel the pain? I hate you, can't you feel the pain? I hate you, can't you feel the pain? I hate you, yes, I need the pain I hate you, can't you feel the pain? I hate you Your throat I take grasp (can't you feel the pain?) Then your eyes roll back (can't you feel the pain?) Love racing (can't you feel the pain?) Through my veins (yes, you feel the pain) Your heart stops beating (can't you feel the pain?) Black orgasms (can't you feel the pain?) I kiss your (yes, you feel the pain) Lifeless skin (can't you feel the pain?) Lifeless skin (can't you feel the pain?) Lifeless skin (can't you feel the pain?) P.S. - I nearly forgot... Thanks for all the mind-blowing sex, too. And fuck you for the times when you were torturing me; walking around in our apartment naked, and not giving me any. That's just evil. Fuck you, I love you. Bye.

I'm over it You see I'm falling in a vast abyss Clouded by memories of the past At last I see I hear it fading, I can't speak it Or else you will dig my grave We feel them fighting, always whining Take my hand now, be alive You see I cannot be forsaken Because I'm not the only one We walk amongst you, feeding, raping Must we hide from everyone? I'm over it Why can't we be together, embrace it? Sleeping so long, taking off the mask At last I see My fear is fading, I can't speak it Or else you will dig my grave We feel them fighting, always whining Take my hand now, be alive You see I cannot be forsaken Because I'm not the only one We walk amongst you, feeding, raping Must we hide from everyone?