ivankiss

@Hulia Yeah, I rock at sex, true. But this whole pick-up action is quite new to me. Especially when it comes to juggling several girls at once. I'm not used to that, at all.

@Hulia Well, there are good and bad hunters. Let's see which one am I.

Damn man, I'm on fucking fire today! Another cold approach. Very bold move - If I might add. Not gonna lie, I had to muster up quite some courage to approach this girl. I'm definitely stepping into model territory here. She's an absolute 10/10. Tall, thin, gorgeous butt, long, silky, blonde hair, cute as fuck, gorgeous smile, very feminine, dresses like a true queen, very kind and outgoing. But... Sadly... She has a boyfriend. She apologized 10 times lol. Saying how I'm really cute and all, but she's just not available now. I could tell she was actually sorry. She finds me attractive, that's a no brainer. We agreed to catch up if she happens to exit the relationship. She works very close to where I do. My focus goes back onto N now. And J ofcourse. Great times!

If I bang her within two weeks or less, @Hulia owes me a beer.

Bumped into the girl with sexy cat eyes, again. I made my move, instantly. It went very smoothly. And I even managed to memorize her name lol. I will be referring to her as 'N'. She gave me her contact. Game on.

A deep engrained lust for possession Modern sundowns break me I like to watch things burn down, soft and gently I need to watch her, abused 'til I'm satisfied Never... never See tonight through bloodshot eyes I'll wait 'til you can see me here Left so long alone Undressed tonight, forsaken skin You mean nothing, nothing No you mean nothing to me Won't you feel bad while you're trashing out? Makes me feel sick to know she's had enough Time and time again You see tonight through bloodshot eyes You mean nothing, nothing No you mean nothing at all I'll never say a word of this I swear, I swear Never... never I hope you know I live tonight through methadone highs This life is over

Turn Back Time Reason why Break Neck Speed History Waiting Waning Exasperating Unstrung Tethered Hoping forever No I tried so settle bets with my own soul Bless my lips for the first time before you don't Gripping to the last touch of your hand I grow to loathe Hope that you remeber just how far I'll go Spend the rest of my life wishing I'm enough Resist Resist Resist Resist

And then one day you'll realize Just a speck in the spectrum Insignificant, am I? And then one day you'll realize The beauty that breaks down Never learns the reason why

@Hulia These genius lyrics come to mind: Trained I see imperfection in your race Lying in wait, blind I suffer knowing I'll never reach your heaven It's unattainable, please teach me how to dream I long to be more than a machine

@Hulia Well, I kinda was, at that time (a bot).

I'm going through my tinder messages to see if there's anything that stands out... and I stumble upon this conversation. She lives a 100km or so from where I am at currently. She's literally the cutest thing I've ever seen. Asian. Gamer-girl. Great vibes. The trip might be very worthwhile. Might reconnect.

Already getting a feel of something pretty cool. I managed to break out of the 'old box' pretty quick. I noticed right away that I was being pulled in that direction.. I aim to leave some of the 'djent' elements in my style. For the following reasons; It's fucking cool as fuck. It's as tight and as precise as it can be. It is cutting edge. Nothing is as advanced and futuristic in the modern guitar-world. The dynamics I can get are just awesome. And ofcourse; epic grooves and polyrhythms. Gotta love those. What I want to avoid, is all that honkiness and unnecessary noise and distortion. I want my tone heavy in the low-mid range and with a nice sparkling, singing presence. Very clear, warm and fuzzy. Gotta tame those nasty hi-mids and trebles. I want big, bulky, tight drums to carry the entire mix. Heavy kick and large snare. Quite some reverb. The bass should be nice and tamed as well. With some cool fuzz in the high end. Not too aggressive. I'm also going with an orchestra as a necessary element of the sound. Nice, golden, money-brass and big, warm, emotion-filled strings. Occasionally I'd throw in a choir too - for extra drama and epicness. I'm thinking of theatrical vibes. I want the whole thing to sound like an epic movie. But also very down to earth. I'm not entirely sure about vocals yet. I have several ideas about the style of singing I'd go with. Perhaps I'd mix a few different voices and characters, as well. I must experiment. This is the area that requires the most to be played around with. This is the first time I'm planning on adding some serious vocals to my music. Lyrically; I'm thinking... Truth. Obviously. What else could I sing of? But... How I will portray that is still a question-mark. I think I will be jumping a lot between the 'I' and 'You' frame. Possibly some 'We', as well. And then, ofcourse; None. Nothing. The Absolute. I want to approach this with a clever, poetical twist. A theatrical vibe comes to mind, again. But in the meantime; also not lose the sense of authenticity. I don't want my lyrics to sound all airy-fairy. I want them to be very real and direct. But at the same time beautiful and magical, too. I want the listener to feel like I'm speaking directly to him/her. It must must feel very personal and intimate. Touching. Captivating. Real. Different. Man... This is so much fun.

What would happen if you replaced 'God' or 'Consciousness' or 'Source' or whatever... with The Breath? And I mean, the actual thing, obviously. Not just the word. Isn't everything a bit more clearer and simpler all of the sudden? What if you never left your breath behind, ever again? Do you think you'd feel Godlike? I'd bet on it. Some of you may argue, that The Breath is but an appearance, yadayada... And to you, my question is... Ok, but are you actually breathing consciously as you're declaring that? Or are you lost in thought? The Breath is God. Period. And it is your direct access to Heaven. The Breath exists in realms known to the common masses, and also far, far beyond. The Breath goes all the way. And even when there is no more Breath... It's still there. Just not as you might think. Breathe in, breathe out. God.

@ZzzleepingBear Very interesting. Thank you. I call it 'the breath' and not 'breathing' because it represents a singularity. Not a process. There is, essentially, no one that's breathing. No inhale and no exhale. There is just Breath. The 'pause' - which you speak of - is simply the breath being absolutely still, I'd say. I can recall times when I 'blasted through the ceiling' - if you will - and lost sense of the inhale/exhale cycle. There was no in or out. It became one and the same. But in the context you put it; I'd say there is both life and death within the breath. Breath in - birth, renewal Breathe out: death, erosion Another cool thought; the father and the son share the same breath. @gettoefl Beautiful. Thanks!

She's just real.

My new baby feels and plays amazing. I was very pleasantly surprised to see that it's not a giant piece of a wooden block. It's actually very compact, light and classy. I love the contours. The neck feels amazing. Super thin and super fast. The fanned frets feel very natural, too. I'm just super satisfied with this purchase. The transition from 6 to 8 and from acoustic to electric does not feel weird, at all. Nothing is forgotten. It still feels like home. Can't wait to start recording.

@Applegarden8 Thanks man! I'm down for collaborating, for sure. But first I need some time to play by myself. The guitar is sexy as hell. I might do some tweaking these days, yes. But I doubt I'll be going any lower than drop E. Wish you the best!

@Zeroguy Haha! Noted! Volim i ja tebe!

@Surfingthewave J and I had the conversation about relationship, many times up until know. I was being extremely careful not to go down this 'fuck buddy' road and end up hurting her or breaking her heart. You can read more on all that in my entries, as well as in conversations with other users, on earlier pages. It's also pretty obvious that I'm not being selfish in bed. I aim to please, and we talked a lot about what turns the other on, etc. She's having just as much fun as I do, no worries. Thanks again. It's cool that you stood up. I understand where you are coming from.

Like what? How is objectifying a slice of God and calling it 'pussy' different from objectifying another slice of it and calling it 'a chair'? How is expressing love towards pussy different from expressing love towards art, or chocolate? There is no difference. There is just Love. I am aware of that. And I can respect you being worried about how women see all this. But again, I assure you (all); no one is being harmed or disrespected here. Quite the opposite. I am demonstrating deep admiration, love, passion and desire towards women. Both in my diary and especially in actual, direct experience. I am also demonstrating another very important thing. And that is; communication. Honesty. Transparency. I think everyone can learn from that. People do not go this clean about things in general. Never in a million years would I have sex this mind-blowingly good without great communication. In a sense; I've done more good to J - for example - in a matter of a couple of weeks; than all of her ex partners combined. None made her feel and experience what I did. Those are her own words. Might seem like ego to some of you, but this is all actually just Love. A very high and conscious form of it, too. Thanks. Right back at you.

I know. But just in case. Also; for any confused soul reading this thread. Cannot argue with that. It's just the manifestation/projection of an internal imbalance - I'd say. Both in men and women. It's a mad world - I keep saying. But it's also kinda cool. Me likey. People are into all kinds of shit, obviously. And as long as it's all clean and harmless; I'd say knock yourselves out. PS: thanks for all the 'slutty' info, too. Much yummy food for thought. @Surfingthewave Cool. Thanks. What you do not understand or see, is where I am coming from. Why I am doing this, etc. Jumping to conclusions too early is never wise. This has never been about self-transcendence for me. It's purely and solely about sex. The experience. And everything that comes with that. I have many reasons - some of which I mentioned in my very first post. But I will repeat and maybe add some more; This is about me exploring my sexuality. Experimenting. Having fun. Enjoying life. Connecting deeply, intimately. It is also about integration. Some of the stuff you guys have been doing a few years or decades ago - I skipped. Or worse; suppressed. I did not go through this stage of chasing tail around with my dick up in the air. And I feel excited about experiencing that now. No shame in that. Sex is natural, folks! Furthermore; this is about getting rid of all the judgement and shame that comes with sex. You being a perfect example of how quickly people get triggered and jump to wild assumptions and judgements. I am well aware I'm triggering everyone's shame here. If you were to read my entries carefully; you would see me demonstrating awareness over the fact that I am objectifying women here. And you'd see how that's not what this is all about. There is something far more divine and magical going on here than just ass and titties. Most of this girls never even dreamed of what they're experiencing with me. But again; people will get stuck up on words and pointers, and lose themselves in judgment and nastiness. There is nothing wrong with objectification, either. You objectify stuff all the time. What's bugging you is your beliefs surrounding sex. That's it. Regarding the story... I cannot help it, sorry. It's just how I express myself. I guess it could be said that I am a natural storyteller. And I do not plan on changing that for anybody. You completely missed with your point on vulnerability, too. If you cannot see how this is the most vulnerable I could get about my sexuality; you're just not as conscious as I first thought. Sorry. Appreciate your input though. It's good that we clarify things. Just please reserve your judgements and stuff. Observe, comment, share your views and ideas. But don't attack.

@Kamo Yes, awesome! Thanks! You cannot transcend something before mastering it fully. @RickyFitts Cool. Thanks. I'd add: there is a big difference between being the breath and being aware of breathing. @SourceCodo Nice. Imo; experience is only sweeter when connected to the breath. It stands in no one's way. Nothing is in anything's way, ever.

The fuck is going on today?! Another girl... flirts with me hard, gives me a candy and fuck me with her eyes. I give her a piece of chocolate I 'accidentally' had. Haha hwatafuk. Definitely another huge potential. She's hot as fuck. Tall, skinny, beautiful legs and butt. Brunette. And she works only a few steps away from where I do. Perfect!

Another thought comes to mind: Threesome!