ivankiss

Lie awake, still, as I try to breathe Surely you mean this is something You're bringing me down to a silent breath And it's the truth that I want to see

You're already paying too much attention.

Jk I don't give a fuck about money either. Not really. But you all do. That's why I'm gonna take it all from you. Leave you with nothing.

The only time I do belive in identity, is when I'm charging you for my highly advanced spiritual kung fu lessons. Anytime I need to send anyone my bank account details in order to receive their money. I'll sign my name anywhere bro.

I don't believe in identity, so fucking hard, when someone calls my name in public, I run and hide behind the bushes. How dare they assume I exist.

Besides, it's not like any of it is real, actually. No self, no problem. Right?

It's not that I can't stop smoking weed and drinking coffee right now, it's that why the fuck would I jerk off to some lame ass porn when I can masturbate this violently and this furiously on the best forum in the entire universe. Yeah. That sums it up well. It's pointless.

But don't worry. I got it all under control. Like anyone else who's addicted to anything. I'm way too aware that this is all mostly just a coping mechanism for it to stay active and alive for too long.

It's funny how my remaining 3 or 4 little addictions are the few very last things that kind of sort of still make me human.

I just remembered that how I percieve myself is never how I actually am, and it made me smile. Ok, good night.

Yeah, that one's gonna take a little while haha! Definitely level expert stuff... But I want to nail down at least the first passage, asap! It's hauntingly beautiful!

Fine. I'll let you know what's next in line for me to learn. Stop bugging me. It's nocturne no. 20 by Chopin. Don't cum all over yourself now.

Wow. Definitely going new places tonight. I'm falling in love with the guitar, all over again.

What's wonderful but also truly mind blowing, is that you could easily spend an entire lifetime working on any of these magnificent pieces. Sure, you'd learn all the notes pretty quickly, but when it comes to performance, your presence, posture, accuracy, emotion, breathing... Hyeah, that can always be better. You can always play more consciously. More passionately. You can always be more immersed. More involved. More out of the way.

Now... Where were we... Ahh, yes. Requiem K. 626 by Mozart. What a beautiful piece! It's coming together real nice!

Right now though, I'm all alone with a Canadian girl in the room, and she's got barbed wire tattooed around her thighs. And we all know what that means. Don't worry. I'm not planing on doing anything... I think.

Friday it is.

Alright. Date canceled because storm.

In other, simpler words... Make good use of your pain.

The problem is that you don't see how all of your 'flaws' are actually contributing to your uniqueness as originality, and how all of your built in errors are actually helping you get to where you need to be, faster. It's just that you're not fucking living and breathing your life purpose. You have not yet said yes to this epic mission. You did not yet embark on this epic adventure. And that is why it's all working against you, instead in your favor. That is.. self destruction. Yes. The wrong kind. You think I'd be able to pull this off if I wasn't obsessed to such a ridiculous extent? If I wasn't a little bit weird and twisted? A bit fucked up? Of course fucking not. You need all that. You need your flaws. You just don't know how to work with them yet. I assume, of course.

Jk there is no thinker of thoughts, no doer of deeds.

Great. Now I pissed off the sky.

I have let go... so fucking hard... it will echo through all eternity, forever. And that is why... I am now in control... of everything. Except my super wild imagination. That roams freely.

Haha! You all still think I'm just playing... I don't think you realize how big this is. No one has ever gone down this way, and especially not this far. Not even Leo.

Heh. Free ice cream. From a very cute receptionist. Nice.