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Everything posted by nowimhere

  1. Beautiful. Looking forward to it @Leo Gura
  2. @outlandish no problem. Man I smoked some MEO today and had a "boarder line" trip. Definitely not breakthrough. It was dark. It was hellish. It made me want to die afterward. As much as it kicked my ass, I am thankful for it. Probably dealt with a lot of pent up negativity/fear there.
  3. I'll quote one of my favorite books , ("plugged in" people) - "Need someone to worship and someone to debase" My takeaway. Is this is pretty much projecting themselves onto other people. Whether this means projecting "up" at someone and debasing themselves, or projecting "down" at someone and placing themselves as the most high (over that person) Either way, both are indeed a trap. Be your own God. But see the God in everyone and everything as well.
  4. I was watching this video on DMT and the animation was amazing. This is the video (started at point of said animation) So did some digging and found they used a open source software called Mandelbulb3D. You can download it here: There are a ton of tutorials on youtube. Can post more links below if you guys are interested. But just wanted to share as its really fun to play around with and create images and animations too ! Hope you enjoy
  5. @cetus56 Yes that I have. It's really fun. I dig it for the non dual art that can be made.
  6. Watch Leo's full video with basically the same name. He answers it there
  7. Found a pretty great "heath and safety" resource. As well as a integration resource , found here: (The integration materials are on the same page)
  8. I died. And it was the best thing that has ever happened. Sad to be back. But know that not knowing is the key. The bigger the fear , the bigger the breakthrough. (14 mgs smoked) This time I prayed. As another user once said "to whom? fuck I don't know. Myself I guess" I prayed to be shown what I needed to see. As another friend put it "I'm not going to be so ignorant to think that I know what's best for me" I repeated this 5 or ten times (show me what I need to see) Felt calm. Then smoked, placed the pipe down in a down next to me. Lied back, and simply died. It was the most beautiful experience. Deeper and more mystifying than any of the others. Truly "beyond infinity" as infinity is just a concept. As the self is just a concept. Being back feels foreign. As that experience feels like the realest thing that can be experienced. Pure awareness. The godhead. You ! But not "you" devoid of other. You and other. You and all things combined. Minus yourself. And minus all things. Paradoxes have, probably the largest doses of truth contained withing. Happy, grateful. Death is a illusion so I died.
  9. @JustinS Yeah 15 mgs smoked is pretty intense. I still get a lot of fear even when I THINK about plugging it. Haven't done it yet. Perhaps its fear of the unknown. Fear of dying. Fear of fear itself. All of them combined. As its a 10 minute come up. It's kind of nice to just smoke, reach peak immediately and deal with everything there and then.
  10. @Leo Gura I guess what's scary to my ego is the 10 minute come up. I'd rather be hit with a mac truck lol. Either way, this time, even tho I decided to smoke it. I was still super scared beforehand. Basically, the ego KNOWS that it's going to get annihilated . But it's just scary to think that process is stretched out over 10 minutes compared to 10 seconds. I don't really find smoking it to be "harsh" . Your mouth gets a little bit dehydrated, but that's about it. And yes sweet ol' infinity. Beyond infinity, really. That's the good ol' matrix code. The source of everything. Would like to mention that I've only intentionally closed my eyes on the first trip, then started to keep them open on trips thereafter you suggested it. I do close them on occasion , but only during afterglow. It's great how quiet the mind is for days after. Makes meditation a absolute breeze. I could also see 5 MEO as being very similar to heroic doses of mushrooms in intensity. But really, nothing tops it. Nothing.
  11. @Leo Gura I would love to do this everyday until I can't take it, but not in a position too as I live with my parents. I also wanted to plug it, but I pussied out and just smoked it instead. When I move out, one of the first things I do will be a retreat with daily plugging or smoking. Smoked 15 mgs , the most I've ever smoked so far. Was quite the experience. Kept my eyes open and definitely had some ego resistance. Not sure what people mean when they say this isn't visual. It's MEGA visual for me. Eyes closed more so, but even with eyes open. My last 3 or 4 trips now have been eyes open. Reality just bends around and shutters. Or disappear's completely. I like to refer to it as "seeing the code" in the Matrix. The true code. The true matrix. Yourself ! Only experienced ego resistance twice now.. It's almost like you can "see" the egos thoughts and identify them. I totally let go and surrendered. Then I was taken to whiteout. Wasn't there too long, then came back again. The afterglow was incredibly intense. Just sitting in silence. At peace with everything in complete euphoria. When "I" returned (being I could think in English again) I actually thought "Thank you Leo" haha.
  12. Thanks @Leo Gura . That's quite a profound answer. I'm planning on doing some tomorrow. Can you perhaps share what your schedule looked like on your 30 day retreat in regards to doing 5 MEO? Best to meditate before or after? I always find when I mediate after , even for a few days after, that its just nothingness. Which is great. Then the monkey mind always returns at some point.
  13. There is no comparison. Cocaine is a party drug. It dulls the senses. 5 MEO is the crown jewel of all psychedelic substances. If your not ready to die and meet god, your simply not ready.
  14. Sunday I did 13 or 14mgs of 5 MEO freebase, sandwiched with mullein leaves. Reached what I like to call "stage 3" of breakthrough. As I have reached breakthrough in the past, being that all ego and thought completely dissipated, and only true "Reality" remained (with a capitol R) . But this time, it was deeper than all the other times that I did it. When "I" came back. All I could think of was : "There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. There is no self. " And "The self is a delusion. The self is a delusion. The self is a delusion. The self is a delusion. The self is a delusion. The self is a delusion. The self is a delusion. The self is a delusion. The self is a delusion. The self is a delusion. The self is a delusion. The self is a delusion. The self is a delusion. The self is a delusion. The self is a delusion. The self is a delusion. The self is a delusion. The self is a delusion. The self is a delusion. " As if I wanted to shout it from the mountaintops for all to hear. The afterglow was particularly intense as well. About 45 minutes. I made sure that I remained in bilateral symmetry. And kept on seeing glimpses and shards of what I saw before my ego returned. I feel inspired to make a song with just these lyrics. Cause why not. What a beautiful experience that was. It's always interesting how the mind can't remember with full clarity the god state. I am still going to do plugging , but haven't had a good opportunity to do so just yet. I'm curious, if the god-head state on plugging is 45 minutes, I take it that it may be easier to remember/integrate, but am curious how long THAT afterglow is?
  15. I just got my 24% acetic pickling vinegar! Probably won't have a opportunity to try out plugging for about two weeks. But will certainly report my experience when I do
  16. @dimitri The first couple of times... Yes. It was hard to keep my eyes open. The last couple of times... No. I was able to keep my eyes open. I just set a strong intention to keep them open.
  17. @Arthur I have had good success vaporizing by using a regular glass pipe. What you do is smoke some mullein leaf first to build a nice ash base. Then you put a fresh layer of mullein down, enough to cover the whole bowl. Then you put the 5 MEO on top, preferably in the middle, then you put a small layer of mullein on top of that, to cover the 5 MEO as you don't want the flames to directly come into contact with it. All 4 times that I've done it now I've succeeded. The idea is you want to "sandwich" the 5 MEO with mullein so when you burn it, it cherries around it. That will be enough to vaporise it and get the effects. Which will come fast as a freight train. So if you are tripping by yourself what I've done the last two times is have a town wrapped up on my bed like a coiled snake so you can put your pipe in the center of the coil after you take your hit. Then you just lie down and enjoy infinity and beyond.
  18. Well, I did some 5 MEO again today. Very interesting experience. I went down from 12mgs to 10mgs, and managed to keep my eyes open for the entire time. This time, it felt like traces of my ego entered and exited. All while reality was bending around me. Where as before all of reality disappeared and I experienced the fabric of reality. I'd say that I still experienced the fabric of reality, but with my eyes open, fully conscious of my surroundings and even with a few "shards" of ego thoughts (as I could recognize "english" thoughts , so I knew it was ego... but it wasn't prevalent) In that regard I just reminded myself that duality is part of non duality and relaxed into the experience. I remember reading that you can become more sensitive to 5 MEO... But is the opposite true? Is it possible to build a tolerance?
  19. First off, I would like to publicly flog myself. About a month or so back, I created another account here on the forum. This current handle is my original account, but I wanted the new account to have the same email as the one I used when I bought Leo's book list. Anyways, didn't know it was against the rules (to create two accounts) cause I didn't actually READ the rules (whoops, don't do that, please take time to read the rules) Anyways, I violated another rule and got my other account banned (davidomni) then I read the rules. Really sorry about that. Won't happen again ! @Leo Gura please accept my apology. I value this community so much. And I just want to be honest in every aspect of my life moving forward. Now, with that out of the way. I did my second 5 MEO Trip on Friday. This time, I smoked 12mgs. And tried to keep my eyes open. My sitter said I had then open for the first thirty seconds then switched between opening and closing them. Odd thing is, I don't remember closing them at all , I actually thought I had them open the entire time. But lets just say I went "there" again. And this time it was more intense than ever. I can definitely see the validity of Leo saying that there is INFINITE levels of "enlightenment" . I remember after my first trip I said "Wow... If THAT was level one... Then HOL LY SHIT ! " Well, what I had this time, (if I can define it at all) would be level two. Way way wayyy more intense than the first time. I would call it "stage two" or "level two" Coming out, the "visuals" were way more "integrated" than the first time. And this time, instead of saying "wow" for five minutes straight (with the biggest shit eating grin on my face.) Via the influence of Martin Balls - Entheogenic Liberation.. I didn't say a word for probably 5 minutes, instead, I just laughed. Shit eating grin and all. And this time again, there was absolutely zero resistance from my ego. I didn't even move, grunt or shout. All I did was laugh when I "came out" of it. My meditation sessions have definitely gotten deeper. Haven't done any other psychedelics yet, but am prepared for the 5 MEO integration of them. Actually looking forward to it. I ordered some "pickling vinegar" @ 24% acidity and also have some 1 ml oral syringes cause I definitely want to try plugging. Just have to wait for the vinegar to arrive. After that, I plan on going on a 24 hour silent meditation retreat in the mountains (you can reserve a cabin for just you, where no one will bother you) and plan on plugging there. I am so happy to be on this journey. Still have a question regarding plugging... Is it possible to purge with it? Or have any of you experienced purging with plugging and breaking through? Also, since Leo has openly talked about doing his trips alone (plugging & snorting) I'd assume it's safe to plug by yourself? Thank you so much. Much love !
  20. I hear a lot about how with smoking you need a sitter. Do you need a sitter with plugging? And is whiting out a good thing? Like, do you know that you have broken through if you whited out? Or is whiting out a sign that you did too much...
  21. I'm guessing that you would plug only the HCL or Oxalate form?
  22. So after watching some Actualized.Org Leo videos on youtube, Leo says there are two different types of (lab made) 5-MEO-DMT. One is HCL form which you snort, and the other is in Freebase form which you smoke. I found a supplier here in Canada who provides a freebase form and also "5 MEO dmt Oxalate" Is the Oxalate version the HCL kind? (the letters don't seem to match up at all) Or does anyone know what the Oxalate version is (and how you would take it?) Thanks !