Extreme Z7

<12-01-2016> I Have Too Many Things To Do Despite being a college student who has net yet been pushed into the workforce, I still have too much stuff to do. Most of them aren't even authentic to my deepest passions. And despite this, I give myself no choice but to handle it for long enough until I get the chance to slow down and spend more time being mindful. I think that I spend too much time contemplating what a happy, fulfilled and meaningful life would be for me that I forget about thinking how to actually get there. I worry that my mindsets are too focused on dreams and ambitions rather than practicality and really, I need a good balance of both and I'm still trying to get there. Before I graduate, or heck, before the end of 2016, I should get a pretty good idea of what I should do when I graduate. Looks like I have to set aside some time for study and research.

<11-30-2016> Mindfulness. . . The Ultimate Tool? I've been in a pretty bad mood for most of the day today. Mostly just worrying about this one university project that isn't finished. The deadline is very near and my groupmate isn't replying to me on Facebook. Anyway, I've been practicing mindfulness meditation recently and its starting to bleed into my normal routine when I'm not meditating. It actually feels like it inherently livens up my mood and just a few minutes ago, I actually managed to slowly transform my bad mood into a good one purely through mindfulness. I can also see how deep mindfulness goes and just how little of it I have. I also got an insight today although I'm not 100% sure if its true and that is that mindfulness is the exact opposite of materialism. Instead of expecting specific external circumstances to fulfill you, you just look at direct experience exactly as it is and that's the end of it. If you do that, you will instantly feel better and more capable of making better decisions and be more creative too. I'm guessing that this is because joy and happiness are inherent human traits that are simply buried when delusions and ego come into play into a human being's consciousness. i don't know, really, it's may or may not be true. Anyway, that's all for today. Have a mindful day.

@Lynnel I'm still pondering my life purpose at the moment. I really like cartoons but I'm still confused as to what my life purpose will really be. Who knows, I could end up making an animated cartoon or I'll just stick to drawing comics, or something else. . . . So, no promises. . .

I don't know. . . the conclusions made from science still tends to be tainted by subjective judgements. Also, it's very good at predicting cause-and-effect phenomena but it's still limited from understanding why reality works the way it does which is as objective as you can get when pondering existence.

<11-29-2016> The Simple Path To Happiness I just stumbled upon the above video while looking for some guided meditations to calm myself with. Going through some mild emotional discomfort as I usually do on a daily basis and I thought it just be a good video to listen to as I sit down and try to be more present. It takes you on a nice little fantasy adventure through the power of imagination. It's been really helpful to me because in my personal development, I'm still really deficient in the happiness department and I have all sorts of theory and ideas but very little practical intuition on how to be happy right here, right now, anytime, anywhere. Results: It's does help but I feel that it needs multiple sessions in order to really have an impact unto your subconscious mind to aim for happiness more with less effort. I've been thinking about and getting into practices that reprogram your mind recently. I know Leo's next course is going to be about that and its one of the reasons why I suddenly am getting interested in it. Currently, I'm doing the practice in Leo's "How to Stop caring What Other People Think" episode and am repeating to myself "I am completely independent of the good and the bad opinions of others" for 5 minutes everyday and I'm going to do that for 90 days. I've done it for two days now. Hopefully, it will have a positive effect on my subconscious after 90 days. I don't know but it's worth a try.

@Akeberg Which exercise? Do you mean the one where you repeat to yourself "I am completely independent of the good and the bad opinions of others" for 5 minutes every morning for 90 days or the one where you stand in front of a line in a restaurant and pretend to be very indecisive about your meal, annoying the employees and the customers behind you? I'm currently doing the former. I'm only at my 2nd day. Still very far from being able to show my results.

@actualized1 Despite all these talk about not relying too much on science. I think it's still important to point out that none of us are against science, we are only against scientism. At least, I sure hope that's the case with all of us here.

Lame joke

<11-27-2016> Snoopy and His Bedtime Buddy I don't want to talk about much today, I just want to share the 7 Snoopy and Woodstock drawings as a request from Racefan2464 from DeviantArt. Enjoy . . .

@Martin123 Then we should take it upon ourselves the responsibility to move up to more advanced stages of personal development to help those in the lower stages. I believe that right now, we're still engaging in a pretty niche culture and the growth of our community (although slow) will help bring these teachings to the mainstream where it is needed the most.

Your work on Actualized.org has been extremely positively life-transforming for me and I want you to know that. Leaving Actualized.org or not, I still want to give a huge thanks despite still being new to the path. P.S. I have only but one request to make and that's to not leave Actualized.org too early. Probably best you wait for the right time because some of us are still trying to get a grip of things and the videos are a great help.

<11-26-2016> Little Change, A World Of Difference I decided to have a zero YouTube day today. I have this habit of watching YouTube videos everyday especially whilst I'm drawing but I noticed that I tend to get distracted occasionally from drawing when I've got video playing in front of me as well. So today, I decided to challenge myself to not even visit the site once. (Well, I did actually visit it once today to check the home page but at least, i didn't click on any videos) In the end, not only did I get a lot of drawing done, I also felt an increase in overall willpower and was able to do more in my other daily routines as well and it feels great. Normally, I feel frustrated everyday because I couldn't get everything I wanted to do within the day because I keep getting distracted. Now, the day isn't even over yet and I've already gotten everything I wanted to do done and more. I'll look forward to cutting my YouTube habit almost entirely at some point. I don't know when but it's coming. I can still watch YouTube videos but no longer as a daily habit but only as an occasional pleasure and of course, to watch Leo's videos. On other news, I did a request someone sent me on DeviantArt a few days ago to draw 7 different Snoopy and Woodstock drawings for him yesterday. Today, I just finished them all and sent it to him and am awaiting feedback. I'll be sure to upload them on this journal to at some point (possibly tomorrow).

<11-25-2016> Willpower Economy I procrastinated a lot today. I still got some stuff done but I could have gone through things much quicker and more effectively. Unfortunately, I'm spending a lot of thought and effort thinking about the ending semester in my college. Personal development work really feels like managing a willpower economy, the more I work during the day, the more tired I become, so it's a matter of doing what I really want to do first. The good news is that once it is over and all of my requirements are done, I can spend more focus on the creative habits I really love. On other news, I'm working on a sort of pseudo-personal project. Some person on deviantArt has requested me to draw multiple (7 to be precise) sketches of Snoopy and Woodstock in various situations involving sleep. I thought it'd be easy enough and it's the first time somebody online has requested me to do a drawing for them. It's quite flattering actually. I've already sketched 4 of the 7 drawings and I plan to finish the rest then ink them tomorrow. Here's to hoping they come out good.

<11-22-2016> I'm Done Writing My Mission Statement Like I said before, I plan to read it to myself every morning when I wake up. Of course, I plan to keep revising it as my values change over time but I think it will be very valuable to me in the current state where I'm in where I'm only just beginning to get glimpses of what an authentically motivated lifestyle would be like. It's electronic so it's easier for me to edit. Just for the people who know me at this forum, I will have the document linked in my forum signature so you can read it yourself. Because it's linked to an online cloud storage system, I can keep updating it there and you can download the latest version. Perhaps you'd like to give me some feedback or you're looking for a reference to make your own mission statement. Again, this was inspired by Leo's blueprint article on Mission Statement. I really hope it helps me well on my journey.

<11-22-2016> Almost Done Writing My Mission Statement My mission statement is just about half done. I've just finished listing and defining my Top 10 Values and I will still revise what I wrote in the list, but for now, I'm really proud of it. When it's done, my goal is to read it every morning in order to keep myself grounded in my core principles everyday. I tend to be a really distracted person with constant tendency to fall into fantasy land and even just 5 minutes every morning grounding myself should be enough to make a change in myself. So far, even just writing has given me huge inspiration to keep on going on the personal development path. I find myself relying more on intrinsic motivation rather than external gains than I used to. It's quite fascinating to me how simply reminding myself of who I want to become is enough for me to quickly gain a hit of motivation and energy to keep going. Right now, I'm pondering about my life purpose and the creative contributions that I want to give to the world before I die. Creative Contribution is a very important goal of mine and I have take full responsibility for its realization. I have to keep myself awake because the plateaus of life purpose work (or even just personal development work) require a lot of high-consciousness to endure.

This is actually kind of tricky for me. Because right now, my mind is still like "Gather! Collect! Horde!". My room is filled with Junk I don't need or even want. Maybe I should consider throwing some stuff away at some point.

<11-21-2016> Inventions Begin With A Blueprint I've re-stumbled upon Leo's Personal Development Blueprint. It's basically Personal Development For Dummies. I don't know why Leo hasn't been promoting it more recently. Anyway, I've decided to read each entry one-by-one in order and actually learn and take action on the blueprint. I've gotten to the part about resistance and also connected it with the entries about mastery and life purpose and it really helped me to stay focused today. I'm not sure if it will last in the long term but I have to make sure that it does. Consistency and Discipline are very important for life transformation. However, it was not easy. I kept having urges to stop working and go do something easy and fun. In the end, I got a lot of creative work done and I hope to keep increasing my level of productivity throughout the week if not at least consistent. After reading what I've read so far, I think it's also best I make a Mission Statement as soon as possible. I don't know yet when I'm going to do it because I want to read more on the blueprint first before writing such an important document. When it's done, I am to read it every morning after waking up, no exceptions. That's all for today. Man, today was rough. Emotionally rough. But I did what I wanted to do today. Yippee.

Entertainment can be moderated to the point where doesn't really screw up your performance. Unless you want to do consciousness work and aim for a monastic lifestyle, you shouldn't be too worried.

<11-20-2016> Man, Ego Is Strong Have you watched Leo's interview with Martin Ball yet? I learned a lot about the experience of an enlightened individual. Compared to my egoic lifestyle, it's very profound but the bridge to get there is very scary to cross. My biggest obstacle is fear of giving up things in my life to get closer to emptiness. As much as I know I probably shouldn't be wasting my time with low quality entertainment and other pointless activities, I still do them. Anyway in other news, I took a personality test by 16Personalities and I got given a "Mediator" personality type. I'd talk about it more but I want to play some video games (LOL). I'll just reveal more about the results in future entries but all else I want to say is that I'm really interested in buying the "Life Purpose e-book" that 16Personalities offered. They have one for each of the specific personality types that they've conceptualized. It's only 35$. Pretty cheap for a life purpose product, I would say.

<11-18-2016> Am I Overworking or Just Ambitious? I've got two more comics that I finished drawing yesterday. I actually stayed up all night until 1AM just to sketch and ink them. I started drawing so late in the evening because I was so busy during the day. I've had so much to do today as well. Is it overworking, or am I just really obsessed with pursuing my ambitions? Probably both. Anyway, here are the comics.

I made a comic inspired by this thread.

@Kvath It's pancakes, definitely pancakes.

<11-16-2016> Upgrading My Reading/Learning Habit I think it's about time I think about taking reading a lot more seriously. So far, I haven't really gained much from reading books but that's probably because I haven't really seen what's out there in the book industry and I also don't really take reading that seriously. I've been making an effort to be more focused during reading and I'm going to have to learn to leave time and space for a good quiet environment to read without a lot of distractions. Right now I'm reading a couple of books, 'Confucius, The Analects' and 'Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes'. I find the former to actually be pretty boring whereas the latter is kind of interesting. Right now, it really isn't much but my strategy is read my way to higher quality material over the years that I have this habit going to a point where they may actually transform my life better than Leo's videos have.

Childhood scars never cure? Where did you get that idea?

<11-15-2016> Practicing Honesty I have a confession to make, I don't have a lying problem. <--- that's a lie. One of my favorite Actualized.org episodes is the "How You Lie" video. It opened my eyes to just how much dishonesty governs human nature especially in social situations. Today, I've gotten a pretty conscious at just how its actually rooted in my self-agenda and also how I want to get rid of it simply because its causing me suffering. I sort of have this idea that if I was 100% open and honest, I would experience suffering in the short term but overall better fulfillment and decreased anxiety. But there's a catch, as you know. It's very difficult and I still can't handle it. On the bright side, I feel like I'm finally taking my first steps to fixing this issue. That's right, I've only started becoming more honest starting now. I've been hiding this problem from my awareness for a long time and now that it has surfaced, I better take any opportunity I can to take the path of emotional difficulty. (Leo's "One Rule For Acing Life" video also plays into this).