Extreme Z7

<12-11-2016> Feeling Guilty After Watching Leo's New Video I would be lying if I said I was in any high consciousness level or even any moderate level of success. I'm still just a kid living in my parents house, still clueless as to how my life is going to be in the future and still only scratching the surface of what a true self-actualized life would be like. I mention this because after watching Leo's new video on enlightenment traditions around the world, despite being really interested and even wanting to read the homework afterwards, I felt a strong urge to just play some video games instead and I ended up not being able to enjoy it because of the guilt. Video gaming, I have to admit, is still a strong addiction of mine. Games have been part of my life since my childhood so it makes sense why my attachment is rooted so deep. I still have that "homework" that Leo assigned to anyone who watched the video so I'm definitely going to leave that for another day. Anyway, I want to end today's entry with a positive note, I just finished practicing and drawing cartoon versions of some real life people (even Leo Gura) which I will be posting soon, and here is the comic I promised in the last entry:

<12-10-2016> Fighting The Resistance I've got a lot of "laundry work" to do this Christmas vacation. It's sad that I don't get to lay back as much as most people do because I have so much work I need to get done by the end of mid-2017 and I only have so much time. No really, some of the things I'm working on right now require that I need to spend months of daily consistent activity. I certainly am not fulfilling Leo's "Lifestyle Minimalism" philosophy but I'm actually strategically working myself to a state of less work. I can't just sit back and expect my body and mind to magically become fully peaceful when I know I have tons of work I have unwittingly fallen into. My strategy is to basically be more mindful of how I got into this busy mess and make the effort to complete most of my current tasks and say no to any extra tasks that I don't need to do. Also cut out as much as possible all the things in my life that aren't the bare essentials. All of this is creating a lot of resistance within me that I'm all too familiar with. I've been doing a lot of mindfulness meditation for the past few weeks and I've been seeing good results, nothing too life changing but definitely has had significant positive change. I still distract myself every now and again but I'm more aware of it than I used to be. That's all. Stay safe and stay tuned for another comic strip that I'll be uploading soon.

People usually play games to avoid everything that is better to do. Usually. . .

<12-06-2016> Planning The Things I Have To Do Before The End Of The Year It's finally December, 2016 was a very tough year but it ain't over yet. Instead of giving myself big ambitious goals by looking months into the future, I'm currently focusing on giving myself mini-goals that I can reasonably do before the end of the year. Which include but are not limited to: Finishing At Least 80% of my unfinished university projects Completing the first three levels of the last area of my game, KzzzZZZzzT! Finish Reading "Confucius, The Analects Translated by Annping Chin" Continue Doing Mindfulness Meditation And Last But Not Least, Develop a Strong Reading Habit That Will Benefit Me In The Future This is Love, This is Life, This is Personal Development, I'm singing off.

<12-05-2016> So Much Free Time Today. I Think I Spent It Well With my current college semester ending, I've had some more free time today than I usually have and I decided to spend the majority of it studying. Not studying for college exams, though, actual studying of topics that I'm interested in. Today I continued reading a book on the Analects of Confucius, it's quite a fascinating read. I spent time studying various I.T. related topics because I plan to take an I.T. Qualification exam so that it will be easier for me to get a lucrative programming job when I graduate (in order to help in my life purpose journey, of course. I will never let my creative pursuits be below financial gain). And finally I watched the documentary on YouTube below: It's quite satisfying actually. I wish I will have more simple days like this in the future where I focus on learning more rather than just thinking or doing.

Of course! Nobody would make an anime about striving to achieve mediocrity, would they? But people nowadays tend to be more than willing to do so.

@stevegan928 Life purpose is not about pursuing what YOU want for your life. It's creative contribution for the benefit of the world mixed with your own personal life passions. Generally speaking, sex on its own does not benefit the world especially in consciousness territory. You're going to have to aim for much higher goals.

@username If it turns out to be the case that you can't fix it then you will inevitably feel like you're missing out at some point in your life but ultimately you could definitely use it to your advantage in the long run. You probably shouldn't ignore the problem entirely but it's good to also consider the possibility of living your life happily even without sexuality.

<12-02-2016> Neurotic Overworking I don't even have the time to write a journal entry today, it's 9pm and I just want to read a book and go to sleep. See also yesterday's entry.

<12-01-2016> I Have Too Many Things To Do Despite being a college student who has net yet been pushed into the workforce, I still have too much stuff to do. Most of them aren't even authentic to my deepest passions. And despite this, I give myself no choice but to handle it for long enough until I get the chance to slow down and spend more time being mindful. I think that I spend too much time contemplating what a happy, fulfilled and meaningful life would be for me that I forget about thinking how to actually get there. I worry that my mindsets are too focused on dreams and ambitions rather than practicality and really, I need a good balance of both and I'm still trying to get there. Before I graduate, or heck, before the end of 2016, I should get a pretty good idea of what I should do when I graduate. Looks like I have to set aside some time for study and research.

<11-30-2016> Mindfulness. . . The Ultimate Tool? I've been in a pretty bad mood for most of the day today. Mostly just worrying about this one university project that isn't finished. The deadline is very near and my groupmate isn't replying to me on Facebook. Anyway, I've been practicing mindfulness meditation recently and its starting to bleed into my normal routine when I'm not meditating. It actually feels like it inherently livens up my mood and just a few minutes ago, I actually managed to slowly transform my bad mood into a good one purely through mindfulness. I can also see how deep mindfulness goes and just how little of it I have. I also got an insight today although I'm not 100% sure if its true and that is that mindfulness is the exact opposite of materialism. Instead of expecting specific external circumstances to fulfill you, you just look at direct experience exactly as it is and that's the end of it. If you do that, you will instantly feel better and more capable of making better decisions and be more creative too. I'm guessing that this is because joy and happiness are inherent human traits that are simply buried when delusions and ego come into play into a human being's consciousness. i don't know, really, it's may or may not be true. Anyway, that's all for today. Have a mindful day.

@Lynnel I'm still pondering my life purpose at the moment. I really like cartoons but I'm still confused as to what my life purpose will really be. Who knows, I could end up making an animated cartoon or I'll just stick to drawing comics, or something else. . . . So, no promises. . .

I don't know. . . the conclusions made from science still tends to be tainted by subjective judgements. Also, it's very good at predicting cause-and-effect phenomena but it's still limited from understanding why reality works the way it does which is as objective as you can get when pondering existence.

<11-29-2016> The Simple Path To Happiness I just stumbled upon the above video while looking for some guided meditations to calm myself with. Going through some mild emotional discomfort as I usually do on a daily basis and I thought it just be a good video to listen to as I sit down and try to be more present. It takes you on a nice little fantasy adventure through the power of imagination. It's been really helpful to me because in my personal development, I'm still really deficient in the happiness department and I have all sorts of theory and ideas but very little practical intuition on how to be happy right here, right now, anytime, anywhere. Results: It's does help but I feel that it needs multiple sessions in order to really have an impact unto your subconscious mind to aim for happiness more with less effort. I've been thinking about and getting into practices that reprogram your mind recently. I know Leo's next course is going to be about that and its one of the reasons why I suddenly am getting interested in it. Currently, I'm doing the practice in Leo's "How to Stop caring What Other People Think" episode and am repeating to myself "I am completely independent of the good and the bad opinions of others" for 5 minutes everyday and I'm going to do that for 90 days. I've done it for two days now. Hopefully, it will have a positive effect on my subconscious after 90 days. I don't know but it's worth a try.

@Akeberg Which exercise? Do you mean the one where you repeat to yourself "I am completely independent of the good and the bad opinions of others" for 5 minutes every morning for 90 days or the one where you stand in front of a line in a restaurant and pretend to be very indecisive about your meal, annoying the employees and the customers behind you? I'm currently doing the former. I'm only at my 2nd day. Still very far from being able to show my results.

@actualized1 Despite all these talk about not relying too much on science. I think it's still important to point out that none of us are against science, we are only against scientism. At least, I sure hope that's the case with all of us here.

Lame joke

<11-27-2016> Snoopy and His Bedtime Buddy I don't want to talk about much today, I just want to share the 7 Snoopy and Woodstock drawings as a request from Racefan2464 from DeviantArt. Enjoy . . .

@Martin123 Then we should take it upon ourselves the responsibility to move up to more advanced stages of personal development to help those in the lower stages. I believe that right now, we're still engaging in a pretty niche culture and the growth of our community (although slow) will help bring these teachings to the mainstream where it is needed the most.

Your work on Actualized.org has been extremely positively life-transforming for me and I want you to know that. Leaving Actualized.org or not, I still want to give a huge thanks despite still being new to the path. P.S. I have only but one request to make and that's to not leave Actualized.org too early. Probably best you wait for the right time because some of us are still trying to get a grip of things and the videos are a great help.

<11-26-2016> Little Change, A World Of Difference I decided to have a zero YouTube day today. I have this habit of watching YouTube videos everyday especially whilst I'm drawing but I noticed that I tend to get distracted occasionally from drawing when I've got video playing in front of me as well. So today, I decided to challenge myself to not even visit the site once. (Well, I did actually visit it once today to check the home page but at least, i didn't click on any videos) In the end, not only did I get a lot of drawing done, I also felt an increase in overall willpower and was able to do more in my other daily routines as well and it feels great. Normally, I feel frustrated everyday because I couldn't get everything I wanted to do within the day because I keep getting distracted. Now, the day isn't even over yet and I've already gotten everything I wanted to do done and more. I'll look forward to cutting my YouTube habit almost entirely at some point. I don't know when but it's coming. I can still watch YouTube videos but no longer as a daily habit but only as an occasional pleasure and of course, to watch Leo's videos. On other news, I did a request someone sent me on DeviantArt a few days ago to draw 7 different Snoopy and Woodstock drawings for him yesterday. Today, I just finished them all and sent it to him and am awaiting feedback. I'll be sure to upload them on this journal to at some point (possibly tomorrow).

<11-25-2016> Willpower Economy I procrastinated a lot today. I still got some stuff done but I could have gone through things much quicker and more effectively. Unfortunately, I'm spending a lot of thought and effort thinking about the ending semester in my college. Personal development work really feels like managing a willpower economy, the more I work during the day, the more tired I become, so it's a matter of doing what I really want to do first. The good news is that once it is over and all of my requirements are done, I can spend more focus on the creative habits I really love. On other news, I'm working on a sort of pseudo-personal project. Some person on deviantArt has requested me to draw multiple (7 to be precise) sketches of Snoopy and Woodstock in various situations involving sleep. I thought it'd be easy enough and it's the first time somebody online has requested me to do a drawing for them. It's quite flattering actually. I've already sketched 4 of the 7 drawings and I plan to finish the rest then ink them tomorrow. Here's to hoping they come out good.

<11-22-2016> I'm Done Writing My Mission Statement Like I said before, I plan to read it to myself every morning when I wake up. Of course, I plan to keep revising it as my values change over time but I think it will be very valuable to me in the current state where I'm in where I'm only just beginning to get glimpses of what an authentically motivated lifestyle would be like. It's electronic so it's easier for me to edit. Just for the people who know me at this forum, I will have the document linked in my forum signature so you can read it yourself. Because it's linked to an online cloud storage system, I can keep updating it there and you can download the latest version. Perhaps you'd like to give me some feedback or you're looking for a reference to make your own mission statement. Again, this was inspired by Leo's blueprint article on Mission Statement. I really hope it helps me well on my journey.

<11-22-2016> Almost Done Writing My Mission Statement My mission statement is just about half done. I've just finished listing and defining my Top 10 Values and I will still revise what I wrote in the list, but for now, I'm really proud of it. When it's done, my goal is to read it every morning in order to keep myself grounded in my core principles everyday. I tend to be a really distracted person with constant tendency to fall into fantasy land and even just 5 minutes every morning grounding myself should be enough to make a change in myself. So far, even just writing has given me huge inspiration to keep on going on the personal development path. I find myself relying more on intrinsic motivation rather than external gains than I used to. It's quite fascinating to me how simply reminding myself of who I want to become is enough for me to quickly gain a hit of motivation and energy to keep going. Right now, I'm pondering about my life purpose and the creative contributions that I want to give to the world before I die. Creative Contribution is a very important goal of mine and I have take full responsibility for its realization. I have to keep myself awake because the plateaus of life purpose work (or even just personal development work) require a lot of high-consciousness to endure.