flowboy

Of course I have. Can't be a real self-actualizer without at least once boofing shrooms. Isn't that what Leo teaches?

The solution lies in solving the fundamental problem at the individual level. The individual experiences pain, rejection, divorce - and becomes bitter. That bitterness makes him vulnerable to believe in these sorts of stories, which are basically an externalisation of the problem ("It's society's fault that I've been hurt") So helping the individual process his pain properly, helping him integrate the healthy masculine, and restoring his trust and love towards the feminine, is where the solution is.

People only get into this stuff because they have been rejected or otherwise hurt by women. The solution is to address that painful experience directly, instead of getting lost in these types of belief systems.

I'm all for a healthy discussion. But a healthy discussion starts with healthy sources of information. I don't feel like spending energy arguing against a long-ass rant by some idiot that you copy-pasted, I'm not that eager to argue at all really. Let's look into what question you were trying to answer by going to this source that you pulled this from. Before you learnt all these concepts like hypergamy and regulated sexual market. Even go back before the evolutionary biology. What is the question you were looking for answers to? Then let's just ask that here, much more efficient and healthy. There is a personal core motive or question behind your interest in this stuff, and I'll be more than happy to talk about that.

@Knowledge Hoarder It's not even his own text. He pulled it from some other source. Probably an unhealthy reddit group. I refuse to spend energy arguing against nonsense that OP didn't even come up with.

It's a toxic ideology because it is full of lies, promotes victim mentality in men, and is very derogatory and unfriendly towards women. You can tell, because no women are into red pill. That should be a red flag. Less subtle clues would be "regulation of the sexual market", which is a concept I challenge anyone to explain in a way that is not toxic and horrible

Still waiting for the ban on toxic redpill shit to be enforced... This is all unhelpful nonsense. The number of lies in this is almost the number of total sentences. We can have discussions about this nonsense over and over again every week. But I personally feel that it should be treated the same way that conspiracy theories are treated here.

Exactly my conclusion, after struggling with this stuff for 10 years. Crazy that most people don't know. The pickup marketing is not helping. Thanks! You too!

I'm friends with multiple tantric domina and body workers who specialize in this. I have a very high opinion of them. They really help people, and it is a profoundly spiritual endeavour. There's also some very good workshops I know of. Go for it!

Go for it 100%. The reason you're stuck right now, is because the thing you are passionate about is not 100% out of the question yet. If it was 100% impossible, I bet you could accept it and find something else. But: Then go for that, I'd say. A passion is not the same thing as a life purpose, but following it can help you turn it into one, or find your next passion, et cetera. Seeing how hard you went for this goal at such a young age, it's very possible that you actually make it. And if you don't, new opportunities will open up and present themselves, and you'll have the self respect that comes with knowing that you have a track record of really going for things. In my case: I would always feel better about myself having tried and failed, then never having tried. The question is whether that's true for you. Just: keep listening to your intuition, and be open to pivot and do something else, when what you're doing no longer feels authentic. Maybe you'll want to do something completely different after even one year. Maybe you'll learn a lot about yourself, and it will change your direction. That is hard, but it's better than getting stuck doing what is no longer authentic. Don't let people tell you that it's selfish to follow your passion, or that there isn't enough 'giving to the world' in it. When you're young, it's natural to be focused on doing what you want to do. Actually doing it can be enough of a gift in and of itself: after all, it's inspiring to the people around you, to see you really go for something. If later on, deeper gifts announce themselves to be given by you, just be open to receive that intuition, and be willing to pivot. It makes no sense to inauthentically do something because other people tell you it's good. My 2 cents. Take at your own risk. Flying is dangerous

Oh man, I've been there? It's nothing personal. When you're feeling low and insecure, people don't like those vibes. Later, when you feel better, you have better vibes and people will be attracted to you. It's not about you as a person. People are just not attracted to neediness and sense of unworthiness. You've already gotten girls to date you, so you don't need to get a hooker. You'll probably get laid in the next year. The first time you have sex with a girl (who chose you too) is a memory to be cherished for life man, do you want to take that away from yourself? Weed can make social anxiety worse, I'd stay away for now. Alright man, all of that is okay. Take the weekend to take care of yourself, then go back and get to know some more women. Try to focus on getting to know them, while also letting them get to know you. The more authentic you can be, the more attractive you are. Don't fall into the trap of believing that your social skills are the problem. Social skills come naturally, when the sense of unworthiness is lifted. Of course, pushing through anxiety to take action is helpful. But this is only bringing to the surface the natural ability that is already inside you. Also, don't fall into the trap of believing that it is your fault that you are this way, that there is something inherently wrong with you. There is not. Social anxiety and problems like the one you are describing, are usually caused by bullying, unhelpful parenting, or trauma. It's not your fault. From accepting that it's not your fault, you can work your way out of it.

Good for you! Stop feeling inferior and you don't need pickup techniques anymore. That's the mindfuck. ( of course, to heal a sense of inferiority is a journey in and of itself, but it has little to do with pick-up technicalities, and more with healing childhood conditioning and trauma )

Don't do anything more to "improve yourself" right now. The only reason this is your reaction, is because you have a buried sense that there is something wrong with you. Fixing oneself never leads to being fixed. It just leads to more things to be fixed, a lifelong journey of fixing yourself, feeling unworthy and inferior in the process. Is that what you want? An attractive man feels worthy and "enough". You are setting yourself up to never be like that, the way you are going about it! If what you said is true, and you already are doing all of this cool stuff, a healthy reaction would be: "Maybe we should take a couple days apart, and you should think about whether you really want to be with me." Of course, what she's really reacting to is your "not enough" frame: I bet the reason you are building muscles and doing all this yoga and whatever else, is because you feel "not enough". She's just mirroring that back to you. Women pick up on these things, without even knowing it. Doing even more things from the "I'm not enough" mindset is just doubling down on a failing strategy.

Broccoli is harder to plug, though.

If your intentions towards the world are good, then it is never selfish to do what is best for you, as in the long term it is also what is best for the world. No one relates to a saint A saint is just a marketing image, a projection, made possible by reputation and distance, that people use because they feel the need to look up to someone. It's basically a pyramid scheme of perfectionism and self-unacceptance. Perpetuating a saintly image, thereby rejecting the human side, is done so that others who don't love and accept themselves unconditionally, can use that to point to, and keep that unloving pattern alive in themselves. Even true saints never said they were saints, it was the ones around them who projected the perfection, wrote the legends and left out all the humanizing details. ? Now when you're willing to accept all of this enough, to be able to tell this to someone you're dating, she'll be all over you. Of course I'm not saying to tell it all on the first date, people like to keep it light at first and go step by step, but this kind of authenticity and vulnerability is super attractive. Do you know how hard it is to find a guy who doesn't constantly try to prove that he has no flaws or painful stories like this? I've been told it's very hard. With your sense of direction and purpose, combined with self-acceptance, vulnerability and openness, you'll be irresistible to the right woman. @soos_mite_ah would you say that's accurate? It's such a mindfuck, because this is the opposite of the survival strategies one learns in teens and early twenties.

Felt myself spin out into irrational thoughts yesterday evening. The usual pattern: "I'm a bad employee for getting very little done today, but I will make up for it by sacrificing my sleep" The cigarettes are back for another day. I called a friend and got some reassurance and perspective. Got a good night's sleep. Did the most important thing when dealing with shame: I admitted openly to my coworkers that I was unproductive yesterday. It wasn't as big a deal as it was in my mind. That always helps. Still feeling good about the video free day today. Being okay with the present moment and my own thoughts is the first step to clarity. Also, without the video distractions and on a good night's sleep, I can put in an honest day's work today. I'll feel good about that. From there, I'll clean up my system, make a new plan for the emigration, and quit the caffeine and cigarettes after that. I'll be loving towards myself and allow myself to come back step by step.

Now that sounds like good value for the money. For a 2k/3k bootcamp I expect some personal attention. I've seen videos of Tyler coach people infield, that looked dope though. I would have paid for that. There is something inherently dirty about an industry that profits from people that have been traumatized in some way. I use the word traumatized in a broad manner. I think the helpful products and bootcamps are good and should exist, but it's not ethical to shame people and use their own sense of inferiority to hard-close the sale.

I'm a professional C# programmer and have taught others. The key is to create your own thing. Creatively come up with something that you want to make. Then there will be no predefined answers, and so you'll have to look everything up and learn how to use it and apply it until it works. Step by step code-along tutorials are almost useless, you learn very little from those. I don't recommend following along with videos like that. It seems like you're learning but you're not, because you only learn programming if you do the problem solving yourself. I recommend coming up with an idea of what to make, and then using a decent book to look everything up. That will really seer it into your brain, and get you to a decent skill level fast. Just get a good book and an IDE, and get creative

Never seen Madison in real life. Learnt a lot from his videos though. I think he's the real deal. But the only real life RSD event I've done was with RSD Sarah, and it was so bad that it was almost traumatic. She bullies people on stage, and makes them feel so bad about themselves that they get into a really low and insecure mode. And then she uses that to bully them further into her upsell paid seminar. She uses very manipulative and aggressive selling. i was so shocked at the way she treated people, that I started recording it on my phone. I think she's a sadist, to be honest. I actually bought the upsell and it was horrible. She had us make faces on our phone cameras to practice being emotionally expressive. And she did more can't-win-roleplays, where she'd play the girl and you had to be the guy, and nothing you did was ever good. I think she enjoys making guys feel bad about themselves. She's a hack. Also RSD is known in general for using manipulative and scummy sales techniques on the phone, basically trying to extract as much money as they can. So just be careful. To summarize: don't just assume that any RSD person is any good, that was my mistake. They employ some real psychos. Madison impresses me a lot, so I would take a seminar with him if it was available to me, and I were in a pickup phase.

Tomorrow will be a video free day. I need a reset.

I relate! I have clear timeboxes: 3 days a week are for coaching, 3 days a week are for my programming gig. Always the same days. It has to be so regular that I don't have to think about it. I like Notion currently, because the way it lets me organize tasks and projects into multiple views: I can have a calendar with things planned on it, but those things are the same documents that I also have on a KanBan board, as well as on a priority matrix. If you are working on multiple projects that each have tasks, you can create individual planners and roadmaps, but also have an overview of your total calendar that is automatically updated. Because one document can be referenced in all different calendars and lists, if you know how to set it up. Warning: if you need a complex system for task management, you should first question whether you simply are doing too much at once. Doing two things at once means that the two projects will take twice as long to complete. It's often more healthy to put them in a sequence, and focus on one goal first. Not just because it's less stressful that way, but also because goal #2 may have changed or become irrelevant by the time #1 completed, because of rapid learning, so needless multitasking is very wasteful.

David Ramms also has a video on Tolle, indeed I made myself watch that one too, to not be too confirmation biased ( I like Tolle ). That one was much less substantial, I found, but opinions will vary. Still I think there is something to be said for judging someone by how they treat the people they interact with. I don't see Eckhart dissing people from his audience for asking questions.

This is the guy you all are defending: Oh man I don't usually enjoy vegan ideology, but man this guy is good at ripping into this charlatan.

Documenting Backlash Comeback Had a good conversation with my roommate yesterday. He mentioned some research that said that people can generally handle 1 drastic stressful change in their life, in one time, in a healthy way. Maybe two. That kind of explains me taking a journey back to some unhealthy behaviors for the past 2 weeks. These are the changes I'm going through. Although they are individually very good, together they have proven to be too much for me to handle without a backlash. And I'm okay with it, but now I'm ready to climb out. I'm moving to a foreign country Where I don't speak the language very well I also have to figure out how to move a business to a different country, which is complex I'm leaving all my friends behind, with the promise that I'll be back for regular visits I'm going to live together with the love of my life I'm planning to go fulltime on my coaching and get enough clients to be able to quit my job this year. I've hired someone to help me get there as efficiently as possible. Very exciting, because I won't be split over different jobs anymore, so I can't wait. Very daunting, because it will involve a lot of hard work. While also finding our new rhythm in our relationship. And learning to live and handle myself in this new country. I have been fighting the conditioning of my younger self, which has turned into a monster of a shadow. Conversations we had around monogamy were the trigger for that to come to the surface for one last fight. Years ago, when I was in a lot of emotional pain and lack, I promised myself I would never be monogamous, and have anchored that into my identity day after day, year over year. And today I find out that it's really in my best interest to be devoted to one woman, it makes me the most happy, but it's a total obliteration of who I always thought I was since I was 20. And this shadow doesn't care about my happiness, really. It just wants to get what it was promised. So I have to do a lot of work there. And on top of that, it's understandably difficult for my woman to stay open during all of this, just because of the topic of it. So it's straining our relationship too. And I don't have a lot of time to do this work either, because of all the moving related stuff. It's just a lot... just a lot. For the past 2 weeks, I've been: Smoking No consistent bed times Not planning my days Not working out Not keeping up with my system, so I'm always lowkey overwhelmed. Basically working in urgency all the time. Forgetting about semen retention So basically going down a deep hole. Am I back where I started? That's what is often the fear during a backlash. Of course not. I know what I'm capable of now. I know how to function well. I don't let this affect my self-worth. I can tell when in conversation with others, I still connect well, there's no social anxiety, there's no sense of unworthiness. I get done what I have to get done, and I'm taking care of a lot, actually, albeit not in the healthy and calm way that I'd like to. I have no doubt that this will blow over soon, and no fear that I will keep these unhealthy habits. It just doesn't feel like me, so it's unsustainable. It's more like a blast from the past: my habits are matching the habits of my 20 year old self, who is unhappy with the life choices of my 28 year old self. Interesting. But still, a bit of shame has been creeping in. It's hard to avoid completely, when the cognitive dissonance of mistreating my body, even though I clearly am capable of making healthy choices, becomes too much. So it's time to give myself a little push by documenting my way out of this. I just threw out all tobacco, and will not smoke from now on I cold showered this morning I lifted some weights yesterday Today after work, I will clean my inboxes and make a new plan for the month, so I get that sense of control and overview back. Ego Check I came across this piece of wisdom: People who put themselves in a position to be seen as experts, are vulnerable to start believing that they are immune to what they are helping others with. Because it creates a bit of an echo chamber, where the clients all confirm this image of you as an authority who doesn't have to expend effort anymore. Doctors get asked for health advice all day, and it makes them feel like such an authority, that they start to think they don't need to spend effort to take care of their health, and get fat and diabetic. Psychiatrists are about twice as likely to commit suicide as non-psychiatrists. Why? Because they, as a psychiatrist, are embarassed to seek help with their own mental health. "Enlightened masters" get worshipped too much, and they don't feel like they have to keep doing the work on themselves anymore, and start cheating on their wife, or misbehaving in some other way. AD(H)D coaches start believing they are such an expert, they don't need to plan their day anymore or keep their basic health habits. This is definitely one factor in what happened here. Because if I look back a bit further, it's clear that the increase in number of clients coincided with me taking my own systems less seriously. That was even before all these stressors hit. I'm actually glad that I'm learning this lesson now, having still a relatively low number of clients. I can still serve them well while I recover and learn my lesson. It would be way worse if this happened only after my schedule gets completely filled, and I have no time to reflect, and start feeling like a fraud. It can also be boiled down to this: Helping others with advice, creates a bias to not take it. Something I will have to remain wary of during my entire career.

It's a different technique that I don't use