flowboy

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Everything posted by flowboy

  1. Yeah I used to send it around, but it's hard to get people to watch it. One friend of mine, she actually got way deep into the Spiral Dynamics videos. I respect that a lot.
  2. Yes, don’t use it for childhood trauma. Only for single incidents. I had a friend who had an abusive early childhood, and over the course of her life she slowly improved with different healing methodologies she came upon. Then she decided to go all mainstream, do what the psychiatrist said and get EMDR sessions. She committed suicide after the second or 3rd session. I’m not sure what to think about it exactly, or what happened in these sessions, but what I do know is that EMDR is a very poorly understood “trick” that you have to pay a lot of money for, to the private person who invented it, in order to perform it on people. But the mechanism of action is unclear. And so a run-of-the-mill psychologist can now buy their way into having a fancy session they can offer, and say they work with trauma. Psychiatry is a very young field, we really don’t know what we’re doing. It’s been around for 200 ish years, before that the insane were considered possessed by the devil. I’m of the firm belief that crying heals the brain, and a trauma is something that hasn’t been sufficiently cried over. Because people don’t like to cry, nor can they stand to watch others bawl, because it would remind them of all their own uncried tears, they constantly invent tricks to prevent it, like medication and EMDR, and call them therapy. And they get insanely popular because it helps therapists and patients in the whole wide world avoid tears. Even though the tears are what they need. I’m not sure how EMDR works, what I do know is that you get rhythmically distracted while talking through traumatic memories, and that there’s no bawling. This can only mean that it somehow helps to further the separation of feeling and factual memory, when it comes to traumatic memories (facts and feelings are stored in different locations, we can have factual memories that we have no idea were traumatic because the feeling is disconnected). That’s not healing, that’s a method to help push the pain down further, where it can never be found. If you do this for a car accident because you want to stop having flashbacks, it’s probably harmless and effective. If you do it for childhood trauma, which is a network of different nodes of pain that you need to work through in order to heal, then you’re probably messing up your brain more rather than healing it. Pain always finds a way to create symptoms. When it can’t be connected with its original source (the factual memory, remembering it, crying through and letting it out == healing), it’s unpredictable what it will do but it’s sure going to mess with you in some way. What I said above also goes for hypnotherapy. Hypnosis can be used for good (digging out a blocked memory so we can cry about it), but usually these days it’s used in a harmful way (getting to the traumatic memory and convince the person to see them in a different way, so that they’re not so painful, thereby creating more blockages around the real pain, which is basically hypnotic gaslighting, well-meaning but very misguided)
  3. @Mada_ I respect this a lot. Not just because of the extremely proactive and self-responsible attitude you demonstrate, but also how humble you are when posting about successes. I will actually take inspiration from that.
  4. Aw thanks ?☺️ I’m Dutch actually. I only came to Austria in order to move in with a girl I met on the Actualized forum.
  5. Monday - Wednesday is for my job, Thursday is for YouTube, Friday and Tuesday evening is for my coaching group. That means that I don’t make plans on those days before 17:00. Weekends and other evenings I can make plans with her
  6. I will admit that my post was a bit on the testy side. Definitely some shadow involved there. Something that Patrick Bet-David represents to me, that I hate. Something around taking advantage of people who are ambitious but clueless and then purposefully leading them in the wrong direction, in order to profit. First through MLM (I've been MLM'd in my naive years and I've seen friends get sucked in.), which is presented as a "job" or "business opportunity", but ends up costing 99% of people more than they make in it. Now through business advice (telling ambitious people who want to start a business maybe, that they need all of these skills first, basically compelling them to keep consuming PBD content instead of what would be in their best interest - which is to actually start and figure it out from there) And on top of that, he hides the fact that he made his money through MLM, when he talks about himself he never mentions it, he's basically "going legit" just like a Mafia member would. Much like the Mafia members he interviewed on his podcast. I bet he shares some values with them. Yes, I really really dislike this guy, I think he's stage Red with zero integrity. Thank you @UnbornTao for responding with patient curiosity and not assuming that I meant anything negative towards you for posting it.
  7. @actually this is a shame trigger. I've got a guided release for that. Takes about 20min. Do it 3 times on different days, then see whether you still react the same way. Yes, it's rooted in childhood trauma. When she doesn't respond in a way that you want, you make that mean something about you unconsciously, which is intolerable. You don't want to be this. You don't want to feel this. What is it? What is the feeling exactly, where is it in the body, what emotions arise? Where have you felt it before? And before that? And before that? And before that? If the shadow work sequence above doesn't do the trick, I'd recommend doing some self-regression to permanently get rid of it. Tracing it back to older situations will already help to not overreact in the present.
  8. @Romer02 Forgot to say: in the end I learnt that I work better within boundaries, anyway. I'm never going to be productive 100% of my available time. When I clearly define which 70% I use, I work harder within that time because I know it's all I have.
  9. That's not what I said, I hope you didn't interpret my comment that way. You're not hurting anyone by not having kids. That would be absurd. I was rather making a more feeling based point: that you seem to be a bit overly cold and logical, just like Leo, and you may miss out on the best things in life that way. It can help to interact with children, to get a sense of how it would be like, and how they can also inspire and motivate you in an entirely different way. Do you have nephews you can babysit?
  10. @supremeyingyang what the fuck I never said I'm more successful than any of these guys, now did I? Why do you take it so personally that I dislike scammers, and then turn it into a personal attack at me? Completely inappropriate. Thanks for checking out my channel though.
  11. @UnbornTao I also think PBD is likeable - but I don't perceive him as grounded, more slick like an experienced conman. Similar energy to Jordan Belfort actually. And he built PHP Insurance, which is an MLM, which is a legal kind of Ponzi scheme, when I found that out I realised he's not ethical at all and stopped liking him. And what I don't like about the video you linked, is that it's a subtle con: it enables the procrastinator by giving him more reasons not to actually start. And says that first, you have to learn how to sell, and this and that, it's all bad advice. You learn all those things by doing. Videos like these are just giving a procrastinator more reasons to not take action and watch more Patrick Bet-David videos instead, put some ad money in his pocket, maybe buy his course or whatever. I don't see good intentions with that guy whatsoever. He's stage Red imo. Notice the non-scammy vibe
  12. Yeah I’ve been there. I’ve had to learn to set very clear boundaries and time boxes for when I work, and then stick to them. If I work on my coaching group on Friday, I’m not going to make plans with my girlfriend on Friday. She can expect me to come home early but I won’t. Sticking to it is still hard sometimes, but a good lesson in how others will stay within boundaries only to the extent that you yourself respect them.
  13. You forgot about this. I recommend you do this right away and then lean back. Suddenly expecting the dynamic to change without any notice could just be perceived by his half-asleep brain as your lack of interest
  14. 4-aco-DMT is the closest thing to psilocybin that’s available and yes you can plug that, but come on… how hilarious is it to plug whole shrooms
  15. 10 things to do before starting a business: Stop procrastinating Stop procrastinating Stop procrastinating Stop procrastinating Stop procrastinating Stop procrastinating Stop procrastinating Stop procrastinating Stop procrastinating Stop listening to sketchy MLM scammers like Patrick Bet-David and learn to recognise what real ethical entrepreneurs talk like, by digging for interviews with CEOs who started companies that you actually think are cool, instead of the slick ones screaming for your attention and playing into your fears
  16. I’ve heard of it being a theoretical possibility, yes. But I wouldn’t try it. Even plugging them sounds better to me
  17. @aklacor727 well that’s what my advice was based on, that you already have this ‘buddy’ dynamic that feels safe and comfortable but you don’t feel pursued in. So now to turn that around I think it’s best to say it explicitly but in a feminine way. Just tel him that you appreciate how he can take charge (even if he doesn’t yet - what you appreciate grows), and that would really turn you on if he would completely make the date happen from beginning to end. And stop beating him at games, instead let him teach you things. Don’t initiate a date, just hint at it and let him pull the trigger. Practice surrender and letting go into someone’s leadership, even if it doesn’t seem like much at first. Men need to feel that they are trusted, it energises them and awakens their leadership automatically.
  18. Source/rationale?? Antioxidants are in vegetables - are you saying most people don't eat vegetables? Because they do. So have you looked up the concentration of the most common antioxidants in vegetables and averaged it over most vegetables somehow? Then compared that to coffee, multiplied by the average daily dose? For all of those different antioxidants? I'd like to see that calculation. The most important antioxidant we need is vitamin C - that's not in coffee. It's in vegetables. Coffee is what people drink because it gets them high, helps them focus, and compensates for bad sleep discipline. Not for health reasons - that's absurd.
  19. Just do it and only consume information when you get stuck. Models - Mark Manson is a good book to read on how to set your life up in a way that gets you girls.
  20. Neurotic struggle hypothesis: You already know he's not going to give you the behavior you want from him - that's why you picked him. If you really wanted to be pursued, you wouldn't have asked him that day, you would have waited and let him come through or not. You're into him because you can try to change him into someone who actively chooses and pursues you. Not because he actually is. Was your father a bit like that? Passive? Did you have to initiate/work for his attention/love a bit more than you would've liked?
  21. @aklacor727 Have you already taken the lead too much from the start? The practical advice I have is say: "I need to feel like a lady and so i want you to take initiative for our dates. Can you handle that?" And then just never again fill it in for him. Actually wait and don't call or text him anymore if he drops the ball. if my hypothesis below is right, you'll find it difficult to actually do that and let him fail. But if you really want what you say you want, that's what you have to do. Just say things like "so where are you taking me?" if you absolutely must - don't come up with initiatives and date ideas until he starts showing some. And be prepared to actually drop it. It's very possible that this guy needs to have the experience of women losing interest over his passivity, many times over perhaps, before he learns.
  22. @F A B And you're happy doing that until you're 70? Basically doing what you're told 40 hours a week, that is what your life will be about? Maybe have some fun in the 3-5 weeks of vacation you're allowed per year? I would rather die than do as I'm told for most of my life, because I have a desire for a profound life and a unique expression of myself. But that's just me