flowboy

If EFT Tapping was a relationship exercise...

@ValiantSalvatore I've spent time trying, really trying to give you a healthy perspective in order to help you today. Helping does involve saying things that rub your ego the wrong way sometimes, so I have reminded you that I'm not attacking you, I'm just calling them as I see it and giving you my professional opinion. You've responded by accusing me of all sorts of bad things, abuse even, and threatening me, so I actually regret even trying to help you, which I'm sure I'm not the only one. Stop biting the hand that feeds dude. You owe me an apology.

@ValiantSalvatore Maybe this is a good time to actually process your childhood trauma with your dad then? Since you are projecting it all over the place. If someone tells you something you don't want to hear, but out of the goodness of their heart and it's well-intentioned, but then you interpret it as malicious gaslighting, something's seriously off with your radar and this is a telltale sign of unprocessed trauma.

At this point you're just venting and blaming. What's your part in all this, and what steps can you take to change it? There's always something

And how many of those are highly successful and have done the work to become a leader and build up a social network of people that highly respect and look up to them? My guess is, none. They're too busy whining.

@supremeyingyang Why are you being so rude and acting like you are responsible for moderating this discussion? Then be out ?‍♀️ Nobody's complaining except you, so why don't you tell us what your real issue is?

Yes. The emotionally healthiest people don't even have thoughts like that.

Definitely don't worry about this. And don't respond/address them watching/seeing you. They are seeing you get girls, alright. That raises your attractiveness in their eyes, no matter what words they'd utter about it. Getting self-conscious about it and adapting to perceived judgment from others would lower your status again.

Sounds like you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who demands that you call her "they". That's a perfectly acceptable boundary then. Set it, and see what happens.

It's perfectly acceptable to want to be in a relationship with a woman.

Then you are taking your own web of thoughts too seriously / way too in your head. I've had these type of conversations with you before, you keep insisting it's complicated, I keep insisting it's not. Okay. I don't buy it, but keep in mind I'm not attacking you. If I can show you where your own thoughts are getting in your way, that's a benefit to you. I hope you agree, otherwise don't read this. If this person keeps dodging your suggestions to meet up, and it's starting to bother you, then what a non-fearful, non-needy person would do is just to express that, without spending a lot of energy on how to formulate it so you get the best chance of a good reaction. So just tell her right now "what's up with you dodging my suggestions to meet up?" Now you'd probably have some good reasons your mind will generate to not do that, but that's all just a cover for a fear of being honest, a fear of being honest and then losing her. I'm open to being wrong, but I'm pretty confident here that you are being needy and it would serve you well to uncover that.

Pondering this after ayahuasca: How can I: Have more rest and moments without "doing" Spend less of my day stimulated by checking my phone and youtube. Ideally spend a good chunk of the day phoneless Spend more time on what moves the boat forward: my shadow work group and making youtube videos Perhaps it's time to do the time-tracking week again. I'll think on this for a bit.

Codependency is making other's feelings your responsibility. So I think what people trying to say, is that, from a healthy frame of mind, this is a non-issue. Only from a codependent frame of mind is this a problem. Solving it from that perspective is a waste of energy and goes directly in the opposite direction of authenticity. E.g. she may or may not be feeling bad, that's a bit of a narcissistic projection, but even if she is, she'll be fine and you shouldn't change your behavior on the off chance she'll have mental breakdown because she can't date you.

She would probably help you with that by asking you to find that thinking part, that wants to constantly figure things out, locate it in the body, thank it for its good work, and let it know that it's not needed for this moment. Asking it to step back and give us some space. In fact you could do that right now.

@NoSelfSelf Nice post. I've come to understand trauma as a backlog of unfelt feelings. When it's too unsafe, too deadly threatening or there's no support in comprehending and feeling the full extent of what's happening, the "feeling" step of interpretation gets skipped and the memory gets filed in a separate "to be processed later" cabinet. These cabinets later start to act as "aspects"/"modes"/"subpersonalities"/"parts" and start to cause all sorts of CPTSD symptoms. Good luck on your healing journey!

If you show up under the influence of substance, such as being hung over or having smoked weed, but also and especially nootropics or a lot of caffeine, you're sabotaging yourself. This meddles with your ability to access your deeper parts. Schwartz is somewhat open to spirituality in his theories, so the topic should be okay, but these types of sessions are not really about you talking about content you're interested in or beliefs you have. Don't focus on how you see the world vs how the therapist sees the world, just relax your mind and let them do their thing. Ask about the work they've done on themselves. Ask for specifics and stories. People who don't take their own medicine are not trustworthy healers.

Because you're saying the same shit-boring low-value thing that every chump says. Project your personality, don't ask her to provide the content. Leave her a voice message wherein you casually mention what interesting thing you're up to, already have some positive emotion bubbling that can radiate through your voice, speak close to the mic so she can hear you smile, and drop an idea for something you could do together. Can be funny/ridiculous, or actionable. Yes, voice messages or even video messages. But CASUAL and UNPOLISHED. Just treat her as if she's an old buddy you've known for a long time. And make a suggestion, not a question. "Would you like to meet up?" is bullshit - communicates low status, like you're looking up to her to lead.

She's hard to meet up with because she doesn't look like her pictures, or maybe isn't even a woman. That's my guess. If you're not looking for a pen-pal, then you are waay off course, asking about how to do "advanced text game". You're just not setting strong boundaries and allowing this to happen. How many hours have you already wasted on this potentially non-match (or even fake)? This is not about you knowing the perfect thing to say, this is about you being too needy and afraid to lose her (because you think you have her - you don't - all you have at the moment is a time-wasting conversation, impeding on your life purpose, feeding off your neediness) Just let her know that if you can't meet up in the next week then you don't have time to continue this conversation - as you prefer in-person interaction. And then also be prepared to actually stick to it and unmatch her.

10 Things You Need To Heal Your Inner Child

If both parents had an abusive childhood - it's basically unheard of for their child (you) to not incur some sort of childhood trauma - even the subtle kind that you're not aware of. Yes, parents do their best, but fulfilling all of a child's needs is not something that can be done through will and effort - it's something that emanates from an integrated state of being. Only a fully healed, feeling, non-neurotic parent can fulfil all of a child's needs. Therefore, don't fall into the trap of skipping over the years of therapy one needs in order to be ready for any kind of enlightenment to take hold in a stable way - this spiritual bypassing is the most common mistake in communities like this. LSD and marijuana stimulate old childhood and infant pain and make it bubble up - if unrecognised as such, the mind's only defense is to adopt / spin a web of beliefs and ideas, to balance out and compensate for the unrecognised pain that is now there and needs to be "explained" - because a vague, all-encompassing discomfort-that-can-not-be-named is intolerable for the mind. The stronger the pain, the stranger the ideas have to be. This is what happens when people get psychosis after their first trip - but it can also happen in a more subtle way, such as seeking ideology and adopting new beliefs and holding them firmly. If your ideas and beliefs from Leo's content feel like they are not just a "take it or leave it" body of knowledge, but ideas that are firmly clung to - I suspect that this is what's happened to you as well. You now need these ideas/beliefs to stay sane - simply trying to change or forget them will have adverse effects (insanity). The only way out is through - deal with past pain through regression and crying. If you're not going to get a therapist, then check out my youtube channel and follow the instructions - but I recommend you get a good therapist who is into childhood stuff. In addition to what others mentioned - live your life, be a person, lay off the spiritual practices for a while - I recommend finding a good Primal, regression or PRI therapist. Insanity is just the mind desperately compensating for blocked childhood trauma. The human system prefers even hallucinations and psychosis over becoming conscious of how much certain things from childhood still hurt.

eye thing during parts work channel should just be about neurosis, my quirks, same as the promise feel more sane than ever missing out due to missing out in development at birth as well okay with missing things now. some files missing. some pages missing. some notes missing. some playlists on youtube missing

If your idea of a "nice guy" is someone who lets you do dangerous and stupid things and embarrass yourself, without trying to warn you, then I guess I'm not your definition of a nice guy. And I don't care. You need tough love. But suit yourself, I'm about done

The fact that you believe that is already proof that you're not firmly grounded in reality. I'm not "harassing" you, I'm trying to talk sense into you, because you're being monumentally stupid.

... and there it is. Remember PCP, guys? Pepperidge farm remembers. Well this is its sexy young cousin. Enjoy your binge of mania, delusions of grandeur and violence. Clearly no one can talk you out of it.

10 Things To Know Before Attempting Self-Healing Work