Joshe

This is the most damning thing I’ve seen yet. It could be that someone powerful is intentionally taking him down.

Spend your time planning how you’re not going to backslide. Remember all the coal you’ve shoveled and rebuild the vision for what your life would be like for each path. And contemplate what you’re going to do the next big life upset.

I'd never recommend changing who you are just to fit in. Introverts don't have to fake extroversion. There's really no faking what's inside. Just that they should expose themselves to social situations and learn how to endure them and exist inside them with relative comfort. If you seclude yourself too early, you're cutting yourself off from many important life lessons. These days, I basically don't socialize at all, other than this forum. But I spent 30 years getting more than my fill, and I've consciously decided I don't want it because I now know what it entails and what the rewards and costs are. I think I'll likely return to being social when I'm done with my serious work.

Yes, to each their own, and of course personality largely dictates what you'll do. I'm just saying, I found value in pushing fun to the max when I was young, and now I know what it's all about, while a square hasn't a clue. Pros and cons of course, and definitely easier to blunder, but that's part of the thrill. Living like that for a while sets you up for hard knocks, which aids in your development. Plus, it's more fun to laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints or be bored with the squares. Pushing to the extreme for a while gives you a richer life experience, and it's fun. Just my bias.

True. I'm not up to date with how youngsters live these days but something tells me there's still a good bit of social gathering going on, because it just seems like a natural cure for boredom, especially when you're young. From what you and others say, everyone is literally just sitting in their rooms in chats and games. I'm sure this is true to a degree but not sure how much. I'm betting there's still ample opportunity for engaging a wide social circle, but IDK.

The true power of the social circle is in building a good, solid reputation, and letting your social circle naturally do the work for you. If you have 10-20 people who all think you’re a great guy with good quality X, those are like 20 advertisements for you. With social circle, it’s also a numbers game. The more you put yourself out there, the more eyeballs you get and the more people talk about you. For this to be effective, you just go about building a solid reputation such that people want you around. From there, develop a persona or hook that women are interested in. Probably the best hook is humor, but this often doesn’t come natural for logical types like myself, so my hook was I was intelligent, deep, mysterious, and humorous in my own way. The point is, you develop your own persona on top of integrity (so people will like you), and when others see you are liked, they want to be around you too. It creates an effortless snowball effect. Many girls said I was ugly in high school, but via building popularity, I slept with some of the hottest girls in the school, and it all came from letting others advertise for me. The compounding effect can be runaway. This happened to me. The 3 hottest girls in my 10th grade year saw me hanging out with popular senior guys and so they brought me into their tight-knit group. From there, the entire school saw me walking around and hanging out with these 3 hot girls all the time, which made hot seniors interested and only made me more popular with the guys, which made me even more popular with the girls. Many girls were perplexed at why I was liked so much because they considered me unattractive. I eventually poisoned the entire well out of idiocy but I’m living proof that an average or even below average guy can easily get laid via social circle. For me, all of this was quite effortless. I was just being myself. I was quite shocked when it was all happening, because literally all I did was become friends with popular guys. The cascade from that was insane and effortless. When I moved away from home, I built my reputation anew and did the same thing again. Same effect.

@Emerald Agreed.

It’s handled via humility. When you’ve been wrong a thousand times (as we all have) the high, conscious road is to allow humility in to resolve the dissonance, and if you submit to it, you learn to be careful with absolutes. And so speak like “it seems like” or “in my experience”. But notice speaking like that doesn’t have quite the same authoritative ring to it. So that’s why absolutes are preferred. The dissonance is greater for the one who fancies themself an authority and takes pride in being the one who knows… and they have a much harder time owning their mistakes than someone who is glad to submit to humility.

Not in my experience. One night stands can be common but as far as women wanting to just be regular fuck buddies, I have not seen plenty of those. They’re out there, but it’s not common. At least on the east coast.

I didn’t mean 100%, just that it’s almost always the case. I’ve been with quite a few women. None of them slept with me twice just for my dick. Except one nympho. I’ve been slept with and ghosted several times, but all the ones that came back, they were interested in something more than sex. This is not only true of my experience, but every one of my friends, so it’s largely accurate.

Owens frame is so powerful, he rejects cringe. Cringe does not exist. 😂 it’s all about controlling your frame bro.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I actually worked construction in my 20s and lived in the Florida keys, which is probably the heaviest drinking population in the country. I’d get shit if I didn’t want to go out drinking.

I know types who were conformist by not drinking. Squares. I kinda pity squares who never pushed fun to the extremes I did. For all those types who remained clean and sober, studying, doing the right thing, going to the movies and playing board games or doing other geeky shit while we were having the fucking time of our lives, those people don’t know what they missed. I know this because I had a square friend group as well. I experienced more joy and laughed more and harder in my 20s than 100 squares combined. Alcohol was a common element, plus drugs, sex, and good friends. Notice how there are squares in the world completely biased against alcohol. Many of these people are said to have sticks up their ass because they never really had very much fun.

Haha. It's bound to happen. Yes, I think this is the best way to go about it. Only problem is, most guys aren't going to be disciplined enough. Haha, yeah, it's like when you truly don't want them, they can't stand it. And if you're open and honest with them about it, they think "hey, not only does this guy not need me, but he is also responsible and has integrity by letting me know... I think I like him" lol. I have a buddy who I talked into telling girls upfront that he didn't want anything serious from them and he found out this kept them on the line even better than previous techniques, and now he uses this to exonerate himself when they keep coming back. "I have told them over and over".

I don't really know how to explain it. It's like I move faster, I'm more hyper, and something about a beer buzz just makes me feel more neurotic or something. It's like it's more heady, where whiskey is more body. Maybe it's just me.

I think she was saying that youngsters should not get it twisted and think that being a recluse while young is a good idea just because there are wise elders who prefer seclusion in their mid/late life years. As an introvert, I went through a somewhat social life but now, pushing 40, I've set things up to mostly be by myself. If I were to have always been a recluse, I can see how that would be problematic. You should earn your seclusion and choose it only when you've learned if/why it's the right move (which takes years of socializing and many relationships), rather than just skip to it, because you'll no doubt develop complexes if you skip it.

He should explore. Beer buzz is very different than a scotch whiskey buzz. For me, beer is almost like a neurotic hyper state but a scotch and soda has a heavier, more relaxed, nice and warm tingly feeling. And it's better at bringing logical thought to a halt and making you completely spontaneous. You should try a scotch and club soda with ice. It's an acquired taste but sip on one of those for about 20-30 minutes and you'll be good.

This usually makes the girl like you more. One night stands, no problem. But if you have sex multiple times with a girl and you know you don’t want anything more than sex, you have to hide that fact from them because if they knew you just wanted their sex and nothing else, they wouldn’t keep sleeping with you. The only way to keep getting the pussy is to make them think there might be a chance you’re interested long term. If not explicitly stated and made abundantly clear, silence signs the contract. And when the terms are brought to light, you act surprised that you didn’t know she wanted something serious and you justify your parasitic behavior. Telling women you don’t want them gets you more pussy than telling them you do. This keeps them coming back. Over, and over. Until they finally ask you to commit. At which point, your selfish ass will say “I’ve told you multiple times I don’t want anything serious”, and then continue to take her for her pussy and have to swat down her begging and pleading every 3 or 4 fucks or so. This dynamic makes using women (casual dating) hard if you’re to maintain integrity. Girls only sleep with a guy multiple times if they consider them a long term prospect. If you know from the jump you are not but continue to play the game, well…

@Leo Gura for me, reframing things as fun when they actually aren’t will never match up to providing the effortless flow that comes out of me after a few drinks. At least try it a few times. You might enjoy it.

Hey! Don’t be making fun of us who are afraid to ask the waiter for ketchup! Shits hard on the yard.

Alcohol. We’re all for altered states here to facilitate spirituality. Why not to facilitate social enjoyment? For me, there’s no amount of tricking myself that dancing or fucking off in the middle of a club is fun. That shit is not fun unless you’re buzzed. Trying to act like it is is absurd. You need alcohol to forget about the absurdity of it all so you can join in. Only problem is it’s easy to overdo it. It really sucks to bring home a prize only for you to realize you have whiskey dick. This isn’t good for self-esteem. Lol. Also, many people cant handle alcohol and they can’t process how they’re coming across. If you can read the room and calibrate your behavior while buzzed, that’s some powerful shit, if you know what to calibrate. If you’re high consciousness, metacognitive, or whatever, alcohol - in moderation - can give you quite the edge.

Examples abound. Conformity = unconscious social approval seeking. This forum itself provides fresh examples daily. For example, ass kissing. Conformity is cowardice and purposelessness, but if there is a purpose or highest good, it’s to be noticed, validated, accepted. That’s really what conformists live for. Take that away and they got nothing, which is why they need it.

Sooner or later you should outgrow strong desires for sex. After you push your member into a warm wet hole enough times, at some point, the animal disappears, you look down at the penetration point from a metacognitive view and ask: "What am I doing here?". You don't "need" sex. You need to ejaculate. Ejaculation is more fun with the real thing, but as Eskilon mentioned, once you ejaculate, it's all over. No more magic. It actually feels disgusting to slide my penis out of a vagina I just ejaculated in. And there I am, engaged in what is most likely a petty human relationship, which I now have to tend to because that's the price for what I just received. Once sex becomes as common as enjoying a tasty meal, the magic of it diminishes, the same way the magic and pleasure of all things diminish from repeat experience. If one were deprived of sex in their early years, hasn't had much of it, and/or has narcissistic tendencies, it makes sense that sex would be a hang up for them.

Just because something becomes the focal point of attention does not mean you're attached to it. Anything can become the focal point and many things influence what the focal point becomes. Desire is a big influence, but not the only influence. In stillness, with eyes closed, it's easy for sounds to become the focal point. When the sounds cease, it's the nature of mind for the focal point to change. What it shifts to could depend on what you had for breakfast, who or what is in your current environment, stress levels, etc. Attention is opportunistic, hence the "attention economy". I'd say attention is more often hijacked by the external than it is internally directed towards one's desires/interest. (ads, horn beeps, crowd noise, communicating with people, sensory data like smells, loud noises, movement detection, etc.) It's the interpretation of the focal point that is more shaped by your "interests", while the focal point itself is more shaped by environment, recent circumstances, habits of mind, etc.