Thittato

Cold shower and 30 min meditation today. Very restless during meditation.

Well. I think we can have balanced and respectful conversation about all aspects of this. A lot of men (and women) think there is more to all of this than what is currently allowed to talk openly about, and I don't think it is fair that only one side is allowed to voice their opinions. Nothing good ever comes out of shaming other perspectives into silence. This conversation is certainly going to continue in our society for a long time, so it needs to be explored from all angles in order for our collective understanding of this problem to evolve into a greater understanding than what we currently have today. This whole thing is a huge generational trauma in all of us, and I don't think the climate in todays mainstream society is particularly helpful in bringing healing to this, BUT at least it is good that the process has started!

Between rape and false rape acusations there is also the landscape where one part think it was rape but the other part doesn't think it was signaled clear enough, or signaled at all, from the other that he/she was no longer interested in participating in the sexual act - a so-called misunderstanding, typically happening when there is alcohol and/or drugs involved and the level of clearity around what is going on is compromised. There seems to be a power-struggle going on here where some people think this is all black and white and consent is either given completely or not given at all, and there is no room for misunderstandings or poor communication, while others want there to be a "grey area" here and have some margin of error. One can typically think that two persons ending up in such a situation that one part will genuinly claim that he/she was raped while the other part will genuinly claim that he/she had no intention of having sex with anyone without consent. I wouldn't exactly call this a false rape acusation but it will probably be experienced like that for the one who didn't think he/she did anything wrong, and it will cause a lot of suffering for both involved. I think some more wisdom and better communication and conflict-resolution around situations like these is something our culture desperately needs.

Weight-lifting, cold shower, and 30 min meditation. Feels like I'm about to really nail these three really powerful tools, in the sense that they are becoming integrated parts of my routine.

30 min meditation, and then a cold shower, this morning. It is a little bit hard to let go of the Wim Hof breathing method, but letting go of my regular meditation would have been hard too, and I don't feel I have the capacity to do both on a daily basis, but maybe I can continue to switch back and forth a little bit since I like both so much. Probably 30 min of meditation per day will be my base, but on some days when I want to spice things up or go deeper I can also add the Wim Hof breathing.

Weight-lifting, 30 min meditation, and cold shower, today. I only managed to do 10 min of meditation before working day-shift today, and when I came home from work I was pretty tired, but after some weight-lifting, the remaining 20 min of meditation, and a cold shower, I now feel super-fresh. These tools are like having access to my own little spa here in my home. The weight-lifting routine is so awesome. It only takes 15 min, but it consists of some really powerful full-body exercises, so it feels like it gives me the absolutely most bang for the bucks I can get. And this routine also feels very sustainable, so I think I can do this routine 3 times a week. I've dabbled in a little bit of weight-lifting for 2-3 years now in combination with yoga, but I have never settled into any stable routine with it, but now I think I've found one that I can establish and then start to build on it. When the gym opens up again I think I will start to do traditional weight-lifting with a barbell. In my home I'm using dumbells. I was also using kettlebells before but they got stolen when I left them down in my basement. The cold shower also felt totally awesome today. The water is getting a little bit warmer I can now notice. I'm pretty glad about that because there is an element of stamina in this, and now I've successfully been riding out the winter into a milder landscape.

30 min meditation, 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing, and cold shower, today.

45th cold-bath this season So today has been a really nice day. I went for a long walk in the forest together with a friend, and when we came home to his place we did 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing together, and it was pretty awesome to do it together like that after a good long walk, and then we played Chess, made food, played guitar, and I went home, and when I came home I felt so happy I did 3 more rounds of Wim Hof breathing, and then I played more guitar again for quite a while and sang mantras, and then I went down to the beach and did my cold-bath. Not exactly sure what is going on regarding the structure I have around these things - these days it seems like it lives its own life, which is nice for now. I guess I will just have to see where it is going to land this time as it is a bit up in the air regarding what my meditative/spiritual needs are these days. Some more back and forth between the Wim Hof method and my regular vipassana meditation practice is expected. Maybe I find a way to juggle both approaches. I think it will just need to sort itself out somehow by me not trying to control the process too much right now. I feel very generous with myself right now. I allow myself to just rest and live and see how things will turn out. That is going to be my affirmation for today - "I allow myself to rest." And also: "I allow myself to be good and kind with myself."

Weight-lifting, cold shower, and 30 min meditation. Pretty nice.

Only practice today has been a cold shower. Now I'm feeling very grateful for the whole Wim Hof method. It has given me so much this winter. Seems like I'm totally back into doing the cold showers as a discipline.

Cold shower and 30 min meditation yesterday, and weight-lifting, cold shower and 30 min meditation today. The cold showers are getting really really enjoyable again. I don't time them anymore, but I have a system where I go through all my body part until there is no shock anymore touching them with the cold water, and it feels like the exposure is always getting long enough so that I get really used to the cold water before I turn it off. My weight-lifting routine is also getting really enjoyable. I have some full-body exercises with dumbbells that I enjoy a lot.

30 min meditation, weight-lifting and cold-shower today as well. Distracted during my meditation, but everything else was totally awesome!

Well. You can study what it means to be liked. What qualities are socially attractive? And try to gradually integrate them into your personality so they become an authentic expression of who you are. Many people don't want to do this because they insist on "being who they are." And perhaps more people already like you than you would think? Usually what we think about ourselves is what we send out and then receive back again. When I'm hostile, suspicous or indifferent about my co-workers that is usually what I receive back. Sometimes I have that extra capacity to be friendly and make other people feel seen and cared about. I'm still learning how I can become more of that. I was very socially awkward before, and I still am to some extent, and because of this I see the social game as a game I want to learn how to master. I think the more we learn about this the more expansive and authentic versions of ourselves we can become. There is much more to you than what you are currently is experencing. You just need to discover it. It may take some time, but I think if you bring curriosty, playfulness and a willingness to learn to it, then it can be a lot of fun :-)

30 min meditation, weight-lifting, and cold shower today as well. I think I've found the way to ride out this Wim Hof method period now, and ground it back into my regular meditation practice.

30 min meditation today, then a little session of weight-lifting (I have some really awesome full-body exercises that I like to do), and then a warm shower ended with a cold shower. Haha, gosh, I’m contradicting myself a lot these days, but this session today was so awesome and finally I feel energy and enthusiasm again. Maybe I’m on the way out of this slot I’ve been in lately. I feel the need to focus on my regular meditation again like I do now, so maybe I’ll give up on the Wim Hof breathing method but continue with the cold showers. Perhaps I create some kind of fusion between my vipassana practice and the Wim Hof method.

30 min more with meditation today. I was getting into a good flow. I think I’ll just abandon my goal of reaching 50 cold-baths this season, 44 is enough, and I think I’ll say it is enough of the Wim Hof method for now, and I’ll just return to my regular meditation practice. I did however end my shower both yesterday and today with a cold shower, and it was really nice, but I don’t think I will time them when I do, and I won’t focus on it anymore here in my journal either.

30 min meditation today. Still very tired. Not sure what is going on. Just got to focus on rest until this is over. At least it takes away the striving component in my meditations. No other choice than to just focus on surrender and rest.

30 min meditation today. Looks like my meditative self-talk is getting much nicer - like how I talk to myself when I adjust the technique according to the various cycles in a meditation session.

20 min meditation yesterday, and 30 min today. Really nice and restful meditation today. I'm totally exhausted these days. Not sure exactly why. Maybe I haven'y fully recovered after working night-shifts. Anyways, I'll save my last 6 cold-baths for later when I feel more back to my normal energy levels again. No need to torture myself. Usually it is very nice with those cold-baths, so I'll save them for when it is nice again.

Falling out of my goal to do these 10 cold baths 10 days in a row. I suddenly felt pretty exhausted from the whole thing. But I’m going to start up again in a couple of days so that I will have completed in total 50 cold baths this season, but didn’t feel like there was any good idea to let it wear me down if I somehow need some more restitution time in between these days. The main thing that has been coming up lately is that I’m very very fed up with this pandemic. I had a very strong emotional reaction towards it yesterday. I feel so understimulated in my social and cultural life. Really fed up with the fact that I cannot go chasing new people and new experiences nowhere near the same extent that I used to before. I always try to expand my social circle, and get to know more and more interesting people. Don’t know if this is healthy, but I have an unquenchable thirst for it. Anyways, it was sort of good with a temporary collapse somehow. My home totally detoriated and become really messy again. I think there is something about really owning those collapses, and not panic about it, and then to pick up and continue with all of ones good habits again when one is done surrendering into ones collapse.

44th cold-bath this season 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing, and then cold-bath down at the beach.

@modmyth Cool! I'm really looking foward to hear how this develops for you! :-) As for my resistance, I think it is a combination of things. I have this pattern of finding something that I can obsess about, like something I find really cool. So when I get a kick out of the Wim Hof method after the perfect ice-bath experience, then I walk around all day long after this thinking about how cool this method is. So I sort of suck it dry until there is nothing left, and then that can create resistance towards doing it the next day because by then it feels like "old news." I also work night-shifts, and that can leave me feeling weak and tired, and going into the cold when feeling weak isn't exactly very appealing. BUT, fortunately, I have comfirmed over and over that going into the cold doesn't weaken me further - usually it only supports me, so that is a great discovery. And also I have some resistance towards repetition and routine. I have some sort of addiction towards novelty, so this method was extremly fascinating when I started up again with it this winter and I was spending a lot of time watching all the interviews, podcasts, documentaries, etc that I could find with Wim Hof - it is that "honeymoon phase," but that sort of inspiration doesn't last forever. And then I think just going into the cold triggers resistance for most people. But it is deciding to overcome that resistance which creates that healthy and commited mindset that Wim Hof talks so much about. But anyways. All these reasons for sometimes feeling resistance just makes me want to ride it out until the whole thing becomes perfectly normalized. So I'm very curious to see what the long-term effects of this method are beyong just the initial inspiration that comes from the incredible high this method generates in the beginning. So working with this resistance towards going into the cold I think is very beneficial. Maybe this is where the "psychic muscles" really grows. Thanks for asking great questions :-)

42nd & 43rd cold-bath this season Yesterday: 6 rounds of Wim Hof breathing and then cold-bath down at the beach. The sun was shining and it was really really nice. Today: 10 rounds of Wim Hof breathing and then cold-bath down at the beach. I almost had a little cold this morning because I was walking around outside yesterday with too little clothes in the fresh spring sun where the wind was sharper than I expected, so I was doing some extra rounds with the breathing today trying to shake it off. I'm still a bit tired, but I feel really relaxed and comfortable now.

41st cold-bath this season. 5 rounds of Wim Hof breathing and later in the evening bathing down at the beach. Pretty awesome. Lots of resistance today, like really didn't want to go down into the water, but as soon as I go into it I'm always surprised how used I have gotten to the experience. It is never uncomfortable when I'm in the water, it is always (sometimes) just the idea of it before I go into it.

40th cold-bath this season. 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing, and then cold-bath down at the beach. Today I felt very unengaged both in my breathing exercise, and when I was walking down to the beach. Still it felt good as soon as I got into the water. I guess I'm a little tired from having worked night-shifts three nights in a row, and having done cold-baths right before all those night-shifts. Well. I have some days off now, so that will be nice. Still this weekend of working night-shifts was fantastic. I'm loving the fact that I've soon had this same job for 3 years. And my relationships with my co-workers are just getting better and better. I like people. Simple as that. The misanthropy I used to have before I see less and less of every year that goes by. My edges are getting rounder and rounder. Anyways, my plan now is to continue for 10 more days with a daily bath, and at least 3 rounds of the Wim Hof breathing method, until I have reached 50 cold-baths for this season, then I will evaluate what to do next after that. I also want to continue to try to not have any expectations for this. Just approach it as if I was only doing my daily shower.