Thittato

3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing, and a cold shower, today. 5th day without cannabis. My mind is clearing up more and more. Seems like, unfortunately, I’m not able to enjoy my job so much when I smoke in the evenings. Which is kind of sad. I’m bored and irritated at my job when I’m in that foggy mindstate from having smoked cannabis the day before. My main motivation for taking a break this time was because I was afraid it would start to become noticeable in my job-performance that I wasn’t quite at my best anymore. But this period of smoking was fun as hell, and it was very meaningful for my yoga-practice to explore Ganja Yoga. So it feels like I was taking a break just at the right time, and now I can enjoy having a much richer understanding of cannabis-culture and a lot of new cool experiences that I can look back at. I have also philosophised a lot together with friends and really expressed myself and my thoughts, and I have been playing a lot of guitar while high, so I think I have grown a lot from this period. I think I’m also more relaxed as a person, and I take myself less seriously, so it was a great period. Also I’m not leaving cannabis with that bitterness I used to leave it with before when I would get burned from the paranoia it so quickly used to give me. So all in all a really fun project to explore Cannabis and Ganja Yoga for approximately half a year. I even got to kayak two times while high, which was really awesome. It was also really cool to become much better at rolling joints. It was a very nice little ritual to have. So now I can enjoy my mind clearing up while at the same time having gained a lot of valuable experiences. I have to say to biggest benefit it gave me was probably how deeply relaxed I felt when I combined it with Ganja Yoga. That relaxation was really putting things into perspective. I also think because of this relaxation I have learned to enjoy my own company much more. I also really liked to keep my place tidy and clean while smoking, so that was part of the «rolling a joint» ritual - to first clean up my place - so those habits have also been strengthened. It was also a really cool thing to explore through journaling. Like I always need to do something new that can trigger my journaling-habit to intensify. Somehow it was also a burden, and it feels like a burden has been lifted off my shoulders now that I’m «free» from it again. Life has so much fun to offer, and it feels great to re-affirm how much I enjoy being sober. Maybe the most stressful thing about cannabis is the feeling that when I have some at home I’m just waiting for the opportunity to use it again and everything else just feels like waiting. It probably doesn’t have to be that way - but there is something very addictive about it that just gradually lures you more and more into it, and very quickly ones whole life is centered around it. Anyways, this is only a one month break to begin with. But I think it is very important that I’m honest about this other side of it as well, and not just my enthusiasm. Cannabis has always had this double-edged sword to me, and that seems to continue even though all in all my experience was much more positive this time.

3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing, weight-lifting, and a cold shower. So nice! I've found a really powerful and efficient weight-lifting program consisting of full-body exercises with kettlebells and dumbbells. The kettlebell snatch is the "peak pose" of this program. Today the kettlebell snatch felt better than ever before. This is also the 4th day without cannabis. Now I'm really starting to like the idea that I have been using cannabis as a medicine together with Ganja Yoga in order to trigger and release the paranoia that it triggered in me in my late teens and early 20's. Psychotherapy first, and then the Wim Hof method was really efficient at bringing my anxiety levels down to a normal level, but whatever I could find and trigger through Ganja Yoga seemingly brought my anxiety further down. And now I'm fully returning back to the Wim Hof method for this winter in order to integrate everything that happened in-between last winter and this winter. I feel proud of myself for taking this pause from cannabis, and I feel that the medicinal effects it has given me will be further enhanced by taking a pause from it. I was starting to tip over into something that could have turned into a stoner lifestyle, and I think that would have totally undermined the medicinal effects I was getting.

3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing and a cold shower, today. This is the 3rd day without cannabis. Gosh. My mind is clearing up. Yesterday, and the day before, was pretty terrible. I was having a lot of aversion towards this foggy state of mind I've been in. Usually when I quit cannabis I have a counter-reaction towards it. Everything that seemed appealing about it suddenly feels like the opposite. But I'm sure it will be integrated, because I think all the ganja yoga I did was really beneficial to me. So I'm thinking about it as a medicine that has some side-effects, and now I'm done with the medicine for this time, and I'm greatful for the benefits it has given me and now I just have to ride out a few pretty mild side-effects for a few days.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!! :-)

3 more rounds of Wim Hof breathing before going to bed. So good. I'm very enthusiastic about the Wim Hof method again. Also I'm really glad I have some experience with it over time now so that I don't get so obsessive about it as I used to get in the beginning.

First winter-bath this season. Finally! So awesome! I did 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing early in the day, and then I did 3 more rounds and some weight-lifting in the evening before I went down to the beach and did my first winter-bath for this season. It was so beautiful. It was even snowing. Holy smokes that felt satisfying. This is also my second day without cannabis. Gosh. I feel like I'm totally addicted already. But I'm really averse towards being consumed by something like that every day, so I probably have some good and healthy feedback-systems going. Also it gets boring being stoned so often. I mean, I like to experience all the variety that life has to offer, and it seems like I'm better able to enjoy all of that without that foggy cloud in my head that cannabis gives me. So now I'm just looking forward to clearing up again, and I think this first winter-bath for this season was very supportive in that regard.

Winter solstice Today is winter solstice, and I started the day together with the mantra group I was chanting together with on sunday. We met at a pretty awesome mountain top with a view over the ocean and where the sun is rising, all of us faced towards the sun. As the sun was rising we chanted the Gayatri Mantra 108 times. It was a really beautiful ceremony. When I came home I did 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing and took a good and long cold shower. I like the symbolism of this being being the start of my one month without cannabis much better. Using Ganja Yoga and Cannabis into the fall as it gets darker and darker, and there is something very esoteric and mysterious about the cannabis vibe, but also something very foggy and unclear, so it is an interesting symbol to use it into the fall until we reach the darkest of all days, stopping at the zero point, and then as it turns and the days starts to gradually get lighter again, to have this shifting point as the point were I let the cannabis go (at least for a month to begin with - possible longer) and then turn towards the cold and the winter to get energy from those elements through the Wim Hof method and to let this method gradually carry me into lighter days again.

3 more rounds of Wim Hof breathing today. So awesome. The cold shower mentioned in last post was also really awesome. I think I'm gradually shifting over into making the Wim Hof method my main spiritual practice for this winter, as it was last winter. It was a Ganja Yoga fall, which has gradually turned into a Wim Hof winter. It is funny though, that I still haven't done an ice bath this winter. Seems like a lot of people who were manic about ice bathing last winter hasn't quite turned onto it yet this winter. But it is coming. I still love the cold showers, and I've been doing them pretty regularly for a year now, and I remember ice bathing was easier for me than cold showers, so it should certainly be just as accessible this winter. It will become a really interesting project to shake off the ganja fogginess and get into the clearity and crispiness of the Wim Hof method.

One month pause from Cannabis (trying again from today hahha.....) Okei, so I ended up smoking again today with a really good friend and we had a really awesome time together, so I broke my attempt at having a one month pause already today, but the pause starts again from tomorrow (or actually from right now as I'm not going to smoke anymore tonight). And this time the pause is not negotiable. I figured we were having such a good time today that it became natural to round it off with my buddy today instead as we were having a few Christmas beers and the atmosphere was just so good. But I need to take this seriously, as I really need a break in order to keep up with everything I need to keep up with in my life. After my friend left I did 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing, then I did some weight-lifting, and then I did a good and long cold shower. This day has just been totally awesome, and this was just a really perfect part of it. It feels like I'm done with ganja yoga for now. I was considering doing a session today as I was already stoned, but figured I'm probably done with it for some time. So anyways. Great day. Great practice. And the pause has already started again.

So I participated in a cacao and bhajan ceremony tonight outside in a pretty cool place. When doing cacao-ceremonies we are always asked to set an intention for what we want out of the ceremony. My intention was to celebrate all the interesting experiences I've had for the last half a year as I became interested in using cannabis for spiritual use again and also to mark the shift as I'm now taking a month one break from using it. After the ceremony was done I walked the 10 km back home. It was a really nice walk, and I felt so inspired when I arrived at home so I did 3 more rounds of Wim Hof breathing for today. I'm very enthusiastic about this break from cannabis. It will be interesting to see what my perception of it will be in one month from now. Was my mind more foggy than I would liked to admit? Did I get addicted, or was I about to develop an addiction? Did I nurture contact with people who are stuck in their lives because of their cannabis-habit, and would my energy reap better results if invested in other relationships? Or did it primarily bring a lot of positive benefits into my life as I was utilizing the connection between cannabis and yoga for deep and soothing relaxation and other benefits? It will be interesting to see what I will think about all of this in one month. But it is safe to say that I feel very satisfied about my use this time. Cannabis used to bring me paranoia. This time I used ganja yoga to breathe into and allow the paranoia that it triggers for me, and now it feels like I feel very comfortable and safe with the effect that cannabis gives and I have probably managed to get to the roots of some type of anxiety that was there in the backgrounds anyways regardless of whether cannabis activated it or not. So it has been a huge booster to my yoga-practice. And I've had some really great musical experiences with it as well. And lots of really cool philosophical conversations.

One month pause from Cannabis. 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing, and a cold shower, today. So nice! So I ran out of cannabis yesterday. This time it lasted from monday to saturday. I had a really amazing session yesterday with both ganja yoga and music, but I was feeling that it is time to take a break from it and reflect on what it has given me without adding on new experiences with it for a while. So yesterday was the perfect session to round it off with for this time.

30 min of ganja yoga today with a really good friend. It was so cool to finally get to show him this form of yoga. He totally digged it. Then we had a super-awesome music-jam for many hours. Ganja yoga and playing music is a really awesome combination. It is like going really deep with yoga first, and then that goes deeper into a music-jam-meditation. I found it hard to go to sleep after all this fun, so I got back up from my bed and did 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing, and now I will try to sleep again. Feels like that breathing was the last thing I needed before my day is totally complete. So nice. Ok. Good night :-)

And then 30 min ganja yoga in the evening. So nice and powerful.

3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing, 20 min of vinyasa flow yoga, and a cold shower, this morning. So nice :-)

45 min yoga nidra in the morning and 30 min ganja yoga in the evening. Really chill day.

3 more rounds of Wim Hof breathing. I was feeling so great and clear in my mind from the first 3 rounds today so I had to do another set. So sweet :-)

3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing today, and then a cold shower. Seems like I'm getting back to a more focused Wim Hof approach again now for the winter. I've been doing cold showers for the whole year, but I stopped doing his breathing method at some point. Now that the winter is here again I actually think it sucks quite a lot, so I'm looking the get the most out of it by getting more dedicated with the Wim Hof method again. I haven't started ice-bathing again yet, even though I've been thinking a lot about it, but I think I'm in no rush about about it and I'll let it come naturally again at some point this winter when I need some variation to my cold showers.

3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing today, then 40 snatches on each hand with a 8 kg dumbbell as a warm-up for 20 (10 + 5 + 5) snatches on each hand with a 20 kg kettlebell, and then a good and long cold shower. Went out and had a glass of red wine with a good friend, and now that I came home I did 3 more rounds of Wim Hof breathing. My body is starting to adapt to these 20 kg kettlebell snatches now. The technique is getting better and better. I think I want to build my physical practice around the kettlebell snatch, with yoga (and other practices) as a support for improving the snatch. It is about time that I need to be doing something where progress is easy to measure, and this seems like the perfect exercise for me, and I think it will totally compliment my yoga-practice in a really good way.

Started this morning with doing 20 dumbbell snatches on each hand with a 8 kg dumbbell as a warm-up for kettlebell snatches. After this I did 10 snatches on each hand with a 20 kg kettlebell. It felt much better doing them when I had warmed up with a lighter weight first. I think maybe starting with a 20 kg kettlebell is too much, but I'm working my way around it by supporting my body with yoga and now also with warming up with a lighter weight first. After this I meditated for 30 min, and then I did 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing. No cold shower lately because I've been having a cold, but I'll get back to those as soon as this cold is over.

No practice yesterday, but today I smoked cannabis again. I only had 4 puffs from a joint when I was visiting a friend, but they were pretty effectful. So when I came home I did a really nice and powerful session that started with 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing, then 30 min ganja yoga, then 10 kettlebell snatches on each hand with a 20 kg kettlebell, and then a 20 min meditation.

45 min of meditation this morning, and then 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing. So sweet.

Yesterday: 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing Today: 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing, then some cleaning of my place, then 3 more rounds of Wim Hof breathing, then 30 min ganja yoga (without cannabis), then 10 kettlebell snatches on each hand with a 20 kg kettlebell, and then a good and long cold shower. Seems like all my practices are merging effortlessly into one thing.

30 min ganja yoga on friday, no practice yesterday, except for a cold shower, and then 30 min ganja yoga today. So nice. Today was just really relaxing and calm. Nothing dramatic going on in any way. Just a chill, inspired, and relaxed flow.

45 min meditation in the morning, and then a cold shower. And now in the evening I just did 30 min ganja yoga. Wow. That went really deep. I was processing a lot of stuff regarding what it means to become a man. A lot of vulnerability around that, but as the vulnerability was felt and expressed through my body I was also uncovering a lot of strength, peace, and love. I think all this exercise I'm doing will certainly support me a lot in growing into my full masculine potential. Someone who is wise and calm. And friendly. Yoga just totally rocks! I'm starting to feel what it means to be whole.

30 min ganja yoga today. So nice and nourishing. It makes me very relaxed and refreshed. Gosh. That stay in that hippie-community for 12 days was a bit over the top. I've felt very exhausted after this stay. I mean, it was fun and exciting and all that, but it certainly had its cost as well. And especially I think I'm going against my purpose by doing such a thing. We smoked waaaay too much cannabis. I was travelling together with a super-stoner, and I got sucked into his smoking patterns. We were going to do ganja yoga together this whole trip, and we did a few times, but at some point I realized that he isn't really all that into it. In fact I've been re-activating some old friendships with people who smokes now as I thought we were on the same page - but basically many of them are just pretty normal stoners who use smoking as an escape. So I've been sucked into stoner culture again even though all I really wanted to do was to do yoga. So I feel quite exhausted from this. But it was a nice reminder today that ganja yoga is very powerful, and I don't need to smoke together with friends just as a recreational thing. I mean, that is such a waste of the huge potenial cannabis has when used in a conscious way. The yoga is so fun and deep when done with cannabis. Much more fun than anything else I can imagine doing while high. So now I just want to settle down here back home again, and just surrender into cozy and meaningful hometown-life.