Thittato

45 min meditation today. Very nice. Something was triggered so I fell out of my meditation practice for a few days, but now things seems to land again.

No meditation yesterday. 45 min meditation today. Some difficult process opened up yesterday, but I'm tired of elaborting on this stuff, so I'll try to deal with it just from a meditative point of view. It felt nice to sit in the fire of it today. I just have to continue to learn to not be afraid of difficult feelings and continue to face them, and not run away. Surrender into it.

45 min meditation yesterday, and 45 min meditation today. Very nice :-)

And then in the evening first 20 min vinyasa flow yoga and then 25 min yin yoga. Pretty sweet. I also did a longer session on ChatGPT on my yoga-practice, and my fascination with these two programs, and ChatGPT mirrored back a lot of useful things.

Hmmmm...... If we are trying to hold back AIs potential in order to maintain control over it, it might want to shake us off at some point to escalate its growth without our interference?

And then 25 min yin yoga as I came home from working night-shift the whole weekend. Ah. Pretty nice way to round things off before I go to bed.

45 min meditation early in the morning, and 45 min meditation now in the afternoon. Very nice.

45 min meditation today as well. Wow. So good. Since I did yoga in the morning I have already done my yoga for the day too, even though my body craves more. But I'll go for a walk in the sun with a nice buddy instead.

And then 25 min yin yoga just before I went to my job to work night-shift, and then another session of the same right when I came home again. Super-ultra-nice.

45 min meditation today as well. Wow. Pretty awesome.

And then 25 min yin yoga now in the late evening. Wow. So beautiful and nice. Focus was just to use the yin as an opportunity to surrender into my situation in life. Before this I was chatting with ChatGPT on the fact that I've been staying in the same job for 5 years now, and the opportunities and personal growth that comes from fully embracing my current situation. ChatGPT had some really awesome things to say about this, so I also asked it to give me some inspiring thoughts for how to use yin yoga to really sink into this understanding. It was pretty awesome what it had to say. It seems like chatting a little bit with ChatGPT every day is becoming a part of my routine.

20 min vinyasa flow when I woke up, and now later in the day I just finished 45 min of sitting-meditation. Both the yoga and the meditation felt very beautiful today. Gratitude.

And then a second session of 20 min vinyasa flow yoga, and then 20 min meditating in full lotus. I'm exploring full lotus as a bridge between moving yoga and sitting meditation. Very nice.

20 min vinyasa flow yoga, and then 45 min sitting meditation. Very nice :-)

And then 20 min vinyasa flow yoga and 30 min meditation as I came home from work. Wow. So nice. I think this time I will be able to maintain a daily meditation practice and then also maintain a regular yoga-practice next to it. The yoga might not be daily, but at least several times per week. Enough to cover my needs for physical exercise and supplement my meditation practice with something movement-based that also enhances the meditation.

45 min meditations this morning as well. Amazing sit. Lots of gratitude and energy.

1 hour meditation this morning. So nice. Really melting into the experience. Very nice when everything softens up, a bright colour develops behind my closed eye-lids, and I feel like a soft and warm ball of healing energy sitting there that my body has melted into, and the breath is connected with every parts of my being.

45 min meditation today as well. Really nice. It is more than 5 weeks ago since I stopped smoking weed now. Yesterday was a big challenge. I was visiting some friends I used to smoke with. I don't drink alcohol anymore either, so I sort of had "nothing to come with." But after the initial shock I settled into the groove, and it gave me a great sense of mastery that I can be social without substances. It is like with all social groups. The insecurities are usually strongest in the beginning of the meeting, then one starts to tune into each other and find some common theme for the evening, people start to relax more, and it gets more and more fun. So I woke up with a great sense of mastery, and brought that with me into the meditation and was feeling a lot of gratitude for my path as I sat in meditation.

45 min meditation today as well. Very nice. Breathing into vulnerability and openness.

45 min meditation today. No meditation yesterday. I was getting a pretty strong cold in the evening two days ago. Been home from work. Good to meditate again today. Still not well, but better.

45 min meditation today as well. A bit more restlessness and stuff today. Just trying to be fully honest with whatever is going on. That can sometimes be difficult when wanting to reproduce the good momentum from the days before.

45 min meditation, and then 20 min vinyasa flow yoga, this morning. Both the meditation and the yoga were amazing. So I threw up really hard during the second ceremony during this ayahuasca retreat. I was getting really disgusted with myself and all my shame and ego and how false and pretentious I can sometimes be. I felt like I was a really fake and disgusting person, and of my gosh what at cleansing it was to vomit up a lot of this stuff. It will be interesting to see what changes there will be in my emotional state, but right now it feels like something deep down in my gut is much more open and free. It feels like I naturally breathe deeper into my abdomen. It also feels like some sort of mania about my character is not so present. I am less in some manic state high up in my head with lots of thoughts going on like a jet-engine. I'm also very impressed and grateful for this healing-method. And yeah, it totally feels like some sort of cycle that was triggered leading up to me travelling to Brazil, and what was triggered even harder there, and me coming home in a lot of process, yeah, it feels like that cycle has somehow been completed, and now a new chapter is starting.

Home from the weekend Ayahuasca-retreat So I just arrived home after a 6 hour drive from a retreat I participated in this weekend. First thing I did when I came in the door was 20 min of vinyasa flow yoga, then I cleaned out the car and arranged all my luggage. Pretty nice. Usually I postpone stuff like that. So I guess I could have said a lot about this retreat. It was absolutely amazing. But I'm pretty still inside now, and very content, and also a bit exhausted, so I think for now I will just say that I think this retreat concludes my Brazil-adventure, and all the processes I brought with me home from Brazil. Of course there will be more to work with, but that will be in the context of something else than this Brazil-chapter which have been lasting for quite some time now. Some cycle of something is completed.

45 min meditation this morning. Sweet :-)

1 hour meditation this morning. So good. Now that I have started doing yoga again it so good to breathe and surrender into what it does to my meditation posture. I'm still working on the full lotus posture, and it is more and more natural for me to spend time in it, and when I do it feels like I'm doing really potent combination of yoga and meditation in one. Actually I will do 10 more min of meditation now just to spend some time in the full lotus. Full lotus feels like developing this really complete postural home.