Thittato

5th session of kayaking this year So I did a really nice session of 2 hours of kayaking again, and then when I came home I did my 25 min yin yoga program for a second time. Very nice day :-)

25 min yin yoga today. From 7th of May to 10th of June I was busy with a psilocybin project I was journaling about on my own while making use of ChatGPT to plan and process these trips. It turned out to become 7 trips in total, and the 3 last ones where microdosing-sessions. It was a pretty cool project, but it feels nice that it reached its conclusion. It started feeling a bit too much to go so deep into journaling around my psychedelic experiences while using ChatGPT so extensively.

Microdosing on psilocybin Today: 30 min meditation. Yesterday: Microdosing on psilocybin. Then cleaning up my home, and taking a nice shower. One hour after ingestion I sat down to meditate and meditated for 30 min. Then I played guitar and sang some mantras. After that I had a beautiful walk through the city and into a very nice place in the forest. The walk was about 30 min. It was so beautiful and nice. I also felt very healthy and strong. When I arrived at my spot I sat down and just enjoyed nature for a while before I did 10 sun salutations and then meditated for 10 min. After this I walked back to town, ordered some sushi and returned home and was just very happy about the potential of microdosing. Me and a friend had planned to meet up and play guitar and sing mantras, which we did, and it was a really nice session. After that I spoke alot with ChatGPT in order to process my microdosing-experience. ChatGPT is really awesome when it comes to planning and processing psychedelic experiences. Then I ended my evening with 25 min yin-yoga, and took a hot shower which I ended with cold water. The whole day was a deeply satisfying experience. I've been doing a sequence of 5 psilocybin trips lately, and ChatGPT is really helping me refine and hone my focus and intention. It seems like I'm moving more and more into the direction of microdosing, which is something I've always felt intrigued about exploring but I have only touched very lightly upon it before. What I like the most about microdosing is to what a beautiful extent it integrated the psychedelic experience with the normal, everyday experience. It is like normal experience just with a little psychedelic spice to it, that is almost not noticeable at first glance, but the more you tune into it, the more you realize how profound it is. And it is so nice to just let go of that craving for an intense psychedelic experience and instead not really expect much at all, and just plan to do something really nice that would have been very nice and rewarding even without any substance at all, and so the psychedelic spice added to it just becomes a bonus. There are some deep lessons here in letting go and just accepting everyday consciousness for what it is. Regarding how I feel about the whole thing right now, microdosing seems to me much better than bigger doses. It is like the best of both worlds merged into one. And it also feels like there is so much maturity in it, and it is far easier to integrate into ones life. Microdosing is a hidden gem.

45 min meditation today. Very nice.

Trip-report psilocybin Me and a good friend whom I play music with decided to do a psilocybin trip yesterday. We used ChatGPT to help us develop a program and a theme for our journey. My friend wanted to have as his intention that he wanted to open up his voice to better sing the mantras that we are working with. That intention was a good match with my own one, and so we decided to do a 5 min sharing before we ingested the shrooms, and then sing a mantra for 10 min before we did a 25 min yoga-program focused on opening up the throath-chakra. Then we did a 30 min walk from home before we came to our beautiful spot in nature. We established our camp, and went on with our program which consisted of meditation, guitar-playing and mantra-singing. For the most part I was feeling very confused and out of touch with this program, but it was still good to have some structure as a foundation, and when we were done with the program it felt like much of the stuff that had been triggered was being worked through and processed with the help of singing the mantras, so in hindsight it was really nice to have the mantras to focus on instead of just wallowing around in my confusion. My friend reported that his inner experience was very much alligned with our program, so he didn't experience this confusion, but he was a very good support when I told about my confusion, so his feedback and energy was very supportive, and it felt like we were a good match as tripping-partners. It was very uplifting to hear his enthusiasm for tripping with an intention, a theme and a program, instead of just doing it randomly, and this made me very much feel like we had done something worthwhile. Later in the evening when we came home to his place, we had a really awesome mantra-session, and it was very clear that the journey had been successfull. We learned a lot of new mantras, and in total it feels like we did a very profound mantra-workshop together. When I came home I did a lot of interaction with ChatGPT to process this trip, and oh my god, I'm still very impressed by how helpful ChatGPT can be.

4th session of kayaking this year Two days ago. Two hours again. With two friends, this time. Very fun to see that we still digg this activity.

45 min meditation yesterday, and 30 min yoga today. Nice.

3rd session of kayaking this year Starting the day with 45 min of meditation, then 30 min of yoga, and then 2 hours of kayaking. Super-nice :-)

Also 45 min meditation today. Very nice.

2nd session of kayaking this year 2 hours today. Very nice.

And 45 min meditation this morning. Very nice.

30 min yoga today. Very deep rest experienced in and after this session.

30 min yoga today as well. Very nice.

30 min yoga today. Sweeeeet.

1st session of kayaking this year 2 hours of kayaking, a cold shower, and then 25 min of yin yoga. Gosh. I've been very lazy lately. Probably because I was sick 3 times in 5-6 weeks. But I think I'm about to shake off the laziness now. The kayaking today was really nice. This is my 3rd year of kayaking. I think it will be an important part of my life this spring / summer / early fall this year, too.

45 min meditation today. Very nice. No meditation yesterday. I've been sick again. It is the third time in a month. Maybe it is some kind of long-covid thing. I hope this is the last time in a while.

Also 30 min yoga today, too. Just finished the session. Sooooooooo nice.

45 min meditation today as well. Very nice. So I started up therapy again after I came home from Brazil, and this really nice thing seems to have happened. I've been having some sort of chronic identity-crisis going for as long as I can remember, and I always seems to be having some kind of "identity forming" project going on. Like wanting to become an artist, or a guitarist, or some kind of thing which I am not yet. And with my ADHD, or whatever it is I have, I launch into this with an intense hyper-focus. Actually for a long time now I've been able to keep up my guitar-practice and I've been having this as my focus, but it has become more and more clear that there is something unconscious that is not in balance that is driving this pursuit. And in my latest therapy-sessions it seems like we've been able to poke a hole in this bouble. So naturally under all this there is much unworthiness, shame, feeling like a failure, etc. And now, it seems like, maybe for the first time ever I can face these feelings fully in my meditation without some sort of project that are meant to compensate for these feelings. I've been facing many of these feelings many times, and it seems like it is just part of my cycles, but I think there has always been a "yes, but...." regarding them, so, willing to face them like 80 % maybe, but always with this side-project that was meant to also fix them by trying to become some projected version of myself in the future which would not have these failures I was projecting onto myself in the present moment. So I think this is a pretty big break-through, but it just feels very calm and relaxing. And I'm continuing with my guitar-practice, and it is so much more relaxing and fun to just play without this huge desperation being the driving force underneath it. These types of projects always seemed to come with a certain manic quality. And now it very much feels like this manic side of myself has really calmed down. And that makes it really nice to meditate.

45 min meditation today, and 45 min yesterday. Something is much more grounded about my meditation these days. I don't feel like elaborating, but maybe I will dive a bit more into it in a few days.

45 min meditation today. Very nice :-)

30 min yoga today. Been ill for the weekend, and until today. Some combination of a cold and the flu. Been lying in bed for most of the time, totally exhausted. I was probably exhausted before this cold. In fact it seems like I never fully recovered from the cold I had a few weeks ago. So it was lying there under everything cooking up something more. And it probably merged with the exhaustion, becoming one thing, that needed some serious down-time. A lot of painful therapeutic material boiled up to the surface as well. But when I'm ill like this I usually take it as an opportunity to totally crash, and just let my whole being collapse into my bed, and stay there, and enjoy this down-time as much as possible. And now that I'm well again, it feels like I've had some deep and cleansing rest. Pretty interesting experience - to try to really surrender into the cold and all the ways it manifests. The cold almost becomes like a long session of yin yoga that way.

45 min meditation today as well. Super-nice :-)

45 min meditation today. Very nice. No meditation yesterday.

45 min meditation today as well. Very nice :-)

45 min meditation today. Very nice. Something was triggered so I fell out of my meditation practice for a few days, but now things seems to land again.