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About alchemizt

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  1. Accept that, and the gates of heaven will open for you. Psychedelics make this clear. Resistance/acceptance is the difference between heaven and hell.
  2. Thats really interesting, I've had these exorcisms on ayahuasca, things I didnt even believe existed until I experienced it. Experientially I wasnt in a blissful state though, I was in a dark and scary place. I've not got this far with breathwork, I would love to. How long was the breathwork session? The longest one Ive done so far is 10 minutes
  3. Thanks for sharing all the insights and experience! Can you explain what being "activated" means? I like the non physiological explanation because it means I'm reaching emotional blockages rather than just depleting my body of CO2. I can see that its connected the blockages in the breathe, when I repress emotions my breathing becomes shallow. When I start breathing into these constrictions, the tingling and vibrations start. Facing fears on ayahuasca triggers this too. I've been experiencing really positive things during the breathwork like my depression disappearing temporarily and being replaced with inspiration and old memories and images coming back and good feelings but Ive been feeling worse than ever this past week and dont know if the breathwork is actually helping or making things worse. Is it one of these things were it gets worse before it gets better?
  4. I started doing breathwork every morning 2 weeks ago and every time I do it, I feel these vibrations get more and more intense and my hands and face eventually cramp up. I experience this phenomenon sometimes when I drink ayahuasca, it gets really intense and feels like something is being released. I experience it strong with breathe meditation too. I see that there are these constrictions in my breath which make it hard to breathe and when I breathe meditatively I start breathing into these tensions and I start to get pins and needles. Does anyone here with a lot of experience with breathwork have an understanding of what these vibrations are? Why do they cause your hands to cramp? I have experienced it really intensely on ayahuasca and the last time it happened, a shaman who I was with asked me about it, she said she could see "vibrations" in me and said it was something being released from my energy field
  5. Inner body meditation helps with this. You use the tightness in the chest as a meditation object or like an anchor, see if you can focus on it and let everything else go. You might notice you start taking these huge deep breaths automatically, like you had been suffocating and you can finally breath again. That's that it's working but it won't necessarily relieve the tightness, the key is to not try to remove it, just keep focusing your attention on the inner body and let everything else go. You might notice the anxiety get revealed clearer, as you embrace the anxiety, it transmutes into peace.
  6. Saying "I LOVE YOU" to yourself regularly, it actually works, if your perceptive you can see your subconscious start finding reasons to love yourself, its one of these as within, as without things, the inner and the outer simultaneously shift towards loving yourself. Saying "thank you", expressing (or impressing) gratitude for everything, this works really well too, sometimes if your struggling to love yourself, gratitude creates a bridge. Using ho'ponono, saying "I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you" to yourself, this works. Sometimes things like guilt and shame are behind why we struggle to love ourselves. Take opportunities to sacrifice yourself for the well being of others. It works. Act selflessly, do things to help others without wanting anything in return. Dedicate yourself to God.
  7. The word shamanism means different things to different people. In the Amazon jungle, this form of shamanism, the core of it is working with the plant spirits. If you feel called to the path, my advice would be to get a 1-way plane ticket to the jungle. Things will unfold as they're meant to.
  8. A few years ago I was getting blasted with visions and premonitions that death was coming. This was right before I did a series of Ayahuasca ceremonies where I naively tried to annihilate my ego. At the end of the last ceremony I saw the life be sucked out of me and I was left as a desiccated corpse. The weeks that followed I was getting bombarded with dark visions, the final one was in a dream where my friend closed my eyes over like you would a dead person. I was officially dead. It's a long and crazy story what happened since then but this bufo ceremony has shifted something. The last intense dream I had, there was a voice saying "do you want life, everlasting life?" and I screamed "I WANT TO LIVE!!!". It's really mysterious everything that's unfolded. It seemed like the most terrible imaginable things had happened, but something beautiful and sacred is emerging from it all. EDIT: I just noticed your signature "He who is dead must pray for life. For the living shall never die. Divine love". Can you explain what this means to you?
  9. Have you ever tried a plant dieta? It can help with this. The plant spirit becomes your friend and it's beyond space and time, it can guide you through the existential terror
  10. This is the most epic thing I've read on here. The "fucking thank you from the bottom of my heart", I can feel that in my heart
  11. Itd be more like saying that the musical instruments and people to play them are all there so the potential to orchestrate the symphony is there. Under the right conditions maybe. Entraining the brain maybe like training the musicians to play this particular symphony and tuning the instruments just right. You'd need to see hundreds of those brain scans with all different types of people to get a real good idea of what it means.
  12. It'd be more like if your head is made of jelly and there's a thousand hats of different sizes, in winter time with the cold, the conditions might be just right for the water molecules to freeze and expand, reshaping your head so it fits just right into a particular hat. Your head is already full of neurotransmitters.
  13. It's changed everything, I can never be the same. Change in daily routine is I'm constantly saying mantras now and grounding myself and connecting with spirit. This dream phenomenon comes in waves and it's clear that I have to pull myself more and more into alignment or it gets more and more extreme.
  14. I smoked a large amount of bufo 6 months ago and I was completely unready for it, or was I? I don't remember everything, I'm not sure if I remember anything but at the same time I do remember things. I still don't logically understand how I can still exist after seeing what I've seen. I can't unsee what I've seen, but here I am still existing. It seemed really clear and obvious at the time that it was the end of my existence, and yet I still exist. Or do I? 3 months after it, I started getting these intense baffling dreams of infinity, annihilation, unfathomable things and every time it seemed clear and obvious that this was the end of my existence, that I can't exist anymore after seeing these things and each time I would wake up and find myself still existing. But I can't unsee what I've seen, it's realer than real and I'm not supposed to exist anymore but yet I still exist. It's like a paradox. My logical mind can't fathom it but experientially I exist. I can't actually fathom what it is to not exist. This question, is there existence beyond what I perceive as existence. Do I have an existence beyond what I perceive to be my existence. Will existence go on existing if I cease to exist. It's like there's nothing to hold onto, there's just an abyss and this scares the shit out of a part of me. I was getting panic attacks when I focussed too much on the question. The spirits taught me how to suddenly surrender when the panic attack starts and everything has changed. I thought I was traumatized after bufo, like id fragmented by mind. But it's interesting because I've traumatized myself in entheogen ceremonies in the past where I tried to annihilate my ego. This 5-MeO trip seems to have actually healed me from some of that. I can feel love emerge from the abyss. What is love really, where does it come from? Things are very paradoxical. I can see that sleep paralysis is connected to death, sleep paralysis happens when we won't surrender to the process of sinking into unconscious sleep. It can be a blessing because through it you can learn to pass through the gateway consciously. I could see on 5-MeO that this is the place that dreams come from. I could see everything, like all the mysteries of existence were no longer mysteries. I wasn't ready for that, it seemed to mean certain doom or annihilation. But I'm still existing.
  15. Angelo, there's way more but a really good tool to have for any ceremony is a mantra. Having a mantra that you resonate with can pull you into alignment really fast. And they can create an energy field to protect the space and call in good spirits to help you. A good one is "Rama Nama".