mmKay

That sounds more like the definition of "guilt" Shame can be that but also be about who you are and not only what you did. Like your self-image ( identity) and how you think others perceive you. Like being ashamed of being broke or short has nothing to do with doing anything, it's an inner game issue. Guilt is a about consciously doing stuff you know is bad by your own or societies standards ( stealing, telling lies, hurting people... )

I didn't even know the concept of bad air. Pretty cool to put a label on it that situation Plowing ChatGPT on " bad air" is gold Maybe release a conscious relationships vid for the big comeback :0

@Ben Landrail yup. Normal people practice tuning their voice against the piano This dude tunes pianos with his voice , no joke. We have an example of that few pages behind That being said I actually don't like the tamber of his voice. His harmonies are mind-blowing though

Personal Development enthusiasts sometimes end up being somewhat naive with what is or is not possible for each one of us with that " my beliefs are the only limits " mindset. Let's gather all the genetic lottery winners ? Note : Try to discern high skill and mastery from LITERALLY genetically special people. Genetically special people that also have high mastery ( Like Charly Puth's Perfect Pitch ) is okay for this thread as well. But not just mastery or high skill. For example, no ammount of training will give you the ability to hear colors without the right genetics ( AKA Synesthesia ) Here are some examples of what I mean :

Google game global

Men are borderline autistic compered with women The kind you're describing is an exception

@Majed ofc. I personally met some that went there on and off. Check the game global group

Like

Perhaps it misses an compassionate approach , but the root causes are that all men are horny, some barely get laid if at all, and these men, who by definition are insecure ( to some degree or another - I put macho men in that category as well , one degree less insecure than than feeling helpless and depressed ) feel powerless and rationalize all kind of stuff to cope with their situation This is just a modern manifestation of a certain demographic that has always existed. It's the kind of social demographic that over hundreds of thousands of years would have to resort to r*pe as a reproductive strategy ( im really stretching and exaggerating to make a point) Being compassionate has its time and place, specifically when dealing with people, but let's not loose track of what their shenanigans are really about . Nothing personal but If you strongly disagree about that being the very core of issue of we are discussing, you don't understand the straightforward nature of men Yes the pressure of modern society is a heavy weight for men, In a similar way that women compete with plastic surgery barbies . But that is an adittional factor, not the core

You did the elaborate analysis. I boiled it down to the very essence. Both are valid. It's not being reductionistic or condescending. It is accurate and the words are carefully chosen

Aka insecure horny frustrated men making noise edit: add to that the psyches tendency for forming ideologies

@aurum that is definitely a part of it but I'd argue the core of "creepiness" is poor understanding, misunderstanding and misinterpretation of social dynamics aka bad social skills. You can think you're being respectful but much of socialization is intention vs perception Not understanding social norms ( they depend on culture/context, not knowing how to " read the room" ), lack of self awareness ( how do you potentially come across to people, not understanding physical communication ( cues of discomfort, lack of reciprocity , consent , poor calibration, not understanding boundaries...) poor emotional intelligence So given the crucial role of social skills throughout evolution, back then but also nowadays if women sense a serious degree of any of this, it will feel creepy, not only because they personally don't feel comfortable but because their genetics pull the kill switch on any potential attraction BY DESIGN , and scream " don't have offspring with this man!! , the child will have bad social skills !!

Attraction ques are hardwired over hundreds of thousands of years if not millions of years. It's the wise software that maximizes the chance that your genes go on. Modern humans are roughly only 200.000 years old . Economic factors are a very modern variable. It definitely can be a factor but most likely attraction to bigger women is more linked to ethnicity ( some races tend to be more chubby ) or your genetic background : "was storing body fat a proven effective survival strategy for your ancestors? then you will find females that store body fat attractive " Being pregnant is absolutely for sure an attraction killer for new partners, period. It's crystal clear from a male POV. It's almost the same non-existant degree of attraction as if you were thinking of having sex with a relative. Unless they are your partner, or they have some sort of fetish, or unless there is absolutely zero downside for the intercourse happening, chasing that woman to make anything happen will not cross your mind . (ofc there are exceptions ) Female's risk of sex ( evolutionary speaking ) is DEADLY. Getting pregnant at the wrong time or without a social support structure is the end of you ( a social support structure is extremely important during pregnancy, thats one of the big reasons why women are more social, calibrated, empathic, caring... ) Male's risk of sex ( evolutionary speaking) is not pregnancy, but getting your head smashed with a rock by a gang of males for having sex with a protected / taken woman. ( Which is actually one of the big reasons why approach anxiety exists for men ) So sex with a possibly pregnant woman is shooting yourself in the foot . Not effective at all from an evolutionary POV. You can possibly die and your genes wont even be forwarded. ( fun fact : this is one of the theories of why auto-erotic asfixiation even exists . " one last ejaculation before death" ) But yeah different people have slightly different preferences. Some preferences have an evolutionary background and some preferences have been developed and shaped thoughout their current lifetimes . Most men have a notoriously low standard anyways

Yup we guys like a piece of ass and titties. for some men that's the end of the story and that's fair enough. I've always been intrigued WHY do I find specific things sexually attractive and other things sexually repulsive . Why am I attracted to ass, titties, a beautiful face and smile, well put together, youth, slim , makeup and color? Today I'm excited to share some simple but personally satisfying answers. It felt like zooming outside of my human being to become conscious of myself being this chimp, and that this chimp has specific preferences and dislikes, like love for sweet and hate of bitter, or being a bee and realizing the evolutionary reason why I'm drawn to flowers This may apply to males at large but I've noticed that different guys have slightly different preferences, which only makes sense because of different successful genetic backgrounds ( if your ancestors mated with females with "X" traits, and you're alive here today, it means traits "X" work for survival and therefore are attractive to you) Quick note. All of this is from an non judgemental POV with the sole purpose of noticing and understanding . In no way I'm trying to make women feel worse about themselves. Second quick note. Since in the scope of our evolution the risks of sex are minimal for men compared to women (besides getting your head smashed in by another male/gang of males for having sex with the wrong woman ) we are more okay with just sticking it in literally any chance that we get and possibly skipping on any of these preferences. Women on the other hand get f*cking disabled for a year and they can LITERALLY DIE if impregnated. ACTUALLY LITERALLY DIE. Therefore they are a little more picky. Anyways, from my BIOLOGIES POV, for me to be attracted to a woman she has to display physical traits that mean she can bear children GOOD, and a minimum degree of mental capacities ( otherwise it would be a turnoff because it signals bad genetic material) For me personally, I know if I'm physically attracted to a women immediately. At a primal biological level. In a single glance. Now since I'm not an absolute chimp, her personality can be a further turn off if it's just not for a pump and dump. This one I found to be the most interesting. And it's the exception to the rule: Beautiful face , smile, teeth. A symetrical Golden Ratio face doesn't provide much raw survival value or information about fertility. The value of a symmetrical face is a strange loop. It's valuable because we value it. Beauty is slippery. We love the golden ratio. Beauty is valuable because we value beauty. But a pretty face by itself is not enough of an attraction cue as you may have noticed. You've got all teeth? Clear sign of youth and health. Showing your teeth in monkey societies signals submission . Perfectly aligned teeth are more of a aesthetic and universally recognized love of Beauty in the abstract, like Greek sculptures. Why men/I'm not attracted to chubby / fat women This one I've been racking my mind over the longest, and the Insight came to me watching an Instagram reel of a couple dancing bachata. It was a before / during pregnancy dance video. In the initial video the girl was slim and I felt she looked very attractive. Few seconds later, the video was cut to them dancing months later where you could tell she is just a tiny little pregnant, she had an inflated belly and my attraction was immediately killed!! So the Insight is that I'm genetically not attracted to chubby or fat women because it resemblances pregnancy. That their fertile real estate is currently taken and therefore not worth pursuing. Also you can't tell THAT easily if they're pregnant already . Imagine you had sex with a female thousands of years ago and she was pregnant already and you raised a child that's not yours. It's shooting yourself in the foot genetically. Although you may argue being overweight was pretty uncommon throughout history. I know personally men who are into chubby girls. On the other hand, easily storing fat would be extremely useful and therefore attractive for species who have to survive in places of extreme cold like Alaska. Otherwise It kind of signals scarcity of food and the need to hoard. Historically Surviving is easier if you're capable of consistently obtaining food from outside of your own fat sources. It's more efficient to be thin. Make up , Youth , Color An appearance well taken care of is the physical visual equivalent of seeing muscles on a guy . It's a what's called a "honest signal" , which means it's a conveyance of value that can not be faked. You are strong, end of story. Or in her case , you have put time and effort into your appearance, which signals good caretaking , which is essential for raising children. Contrast it with looking like this A dishonest signal of value would be mentioning you get laid a lot, even if it's true . Because that CAN be a lie and not true. Make up covers skin signs of ageing. And genetically we're attracted to young women because they're in their prime for bearing children. I'm genetically attracted to female eye contact, a primal indicator of sexual interest. Once two attractive women were in front of me. Only one had done her eyes and eyelashes done. It emphasizes her eyes A LOT more. Colorful make up for eyelids, lipstick etc, simply draw attention for humans overall, not just for men. I have been using my smartphone in black and white mode for the last few weeks and it's astonishing how much less distracting app icons are. Color provides vital information about ripeness of food, time of day, poisoning factor of food or animals or insects, purity of water, etc. Conclusion : color draws attention because it conveys information. Why the hourglass shape? Thin body with broad hips is the genetic preference. I didn't know this but broad hips are a big factor on how well the mother can give birth. The mother can literally die if her hips arent wide enough, because of the size of human babies. Nowadays C-sections exist which would minimize the attraction to wide hips, but it's still there instinctually. Why the attraction to booty? It comes from our monkey times. Bonobos and macaques specifically find swollen buttocks more attractive because it signals more estrogen and fertility Titties? I was watching a absolutely non sexual video. Some people were talking . The woman was wearing a loose shirt. For a speck of a second, she accidentally pulled on a part of her shirt and it slightly shaped to the form of her bra. I instantly noticed I felt a primal feeling of attraction. It was so quick I barely noticed it happening, and had to rewind the video to investigate what the fuck had just happened If she has breasts , biologically it means she is past puberty and ready to bear children. Non sagging breasts are a signal of youth as well. All of this is just from a primal perspective. Of course modern humans have the capacity to appreciate personality, and for quality couples it's an absolute must. Hope I shared an insightful perspective about why men judge women that heavily on physical appearance. Let me know if you want to share some interesting take. Do not turn this into a gender war post

@Princess Arabia Creepiness comes in a degree. From poor eye contact to borderline sexual assault @nhoktinvt learning game is creepy AF. But not learning game is even more creepy. Hence that video

Wikipedia has a decent take on this. Read with discernment as some takes are simply wrong https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physical_attractiveness

This may be BS , but aparently people with light colored eyes like blue or green can see better in the dark. Some animals like cats have a genetic mutation that allows for better night vision. It's called Tapetum Lucidum. It's the reason why Cat's eyes glow in the dark

Creepy dude at gas station. 4:45

The fux did I just watch. How does no one notice it's a dude. The end is hilarious though. So many creeps

The challenges of mating are asymmetrical for men and women. Guys struggle is to get laid, women can get laid easily. It's biologically easier for a guy to make a woman stay after sex ( from an evolutionary PoV, she has your seed in her , and wants you around to raise the child) But for women the challenge is to make the guy stick around after sex I deeply contemplated the nature of male attraction triggers in women in a different thread and this is a question I'm curious to contemplate. Most likely there is little to do unless a guy really chooses you willingly due to chemistry and attraction for your looks, but we can still consider what works or what doesn't work The first thing that comes to mind is ... Be hot ( described in that thread ) But on a more practical level: Looks play a crucial role. Don't let yourself go, and stay looking as sharp as possible. Looks are a priority for men. Don't listen to critiques like " i don't need you to weak make up or dress cute etc". Even if the conscious words don't mean harm, mens attraction is driven by instincts. Maybe you don't doll up every day, but definitely do it here and there to remind him you get attention But maybe you don't have that level of looks, maybe you can have a different lane. Is that even possible? I think this will be a fruitful conversation. Try to put at least a little thought into your answers

Story time. You choose how this ends. Today I went to my local Mediamarkt ( European Best Buy) to return a speaker I had bought over a week ago that turned out to be crappy The customer support girl ( around my age) was kind and helpful. She struggled reviewing the big box as everything was tightly packed so I helped her out. Once we were finished, I got the receipt that I'll be getting my money back soon A few seconds later, her manager comes by the corner and barks at her "have you checked checked the box " ( with a bad attitude and talking down at her). She submissively explained that she has , after he kept yapping that " later he doesn't want to hear nothing from her about needing help checking nothin" This happened in front of me. I almost said something but I'm pretty non-confrontational . It's one of my personal weak spots and it also caught me off guard. Anyways, I shake my head, get out and walk around window-shopping at the mall that's next street. A few hours pass , and as I begin to head towards my van I notice it's pouring. Heavy rain. I didn't bring an umbrella so I wait untill It gets better for one second and make a run for it As I hop through weird paths in between cars, looking out for big puddles not to soak my fake Converse shoes, I notice a small cloth coin purse laying in a pool of water. it looked like an armband and I almost didn't pick it up. But I did because I allways find shit everywhere ( until today I may have found around 5000€ of sh*t in my life , absolutely by chance and obviously not stealing) I get in my van. I open it. It has soaking wet 15€ , and an ID, drivers license and other documents. I don't know the name but the face looks familiar, no idea why. I Google him. " Mediamarkt Electronic Department Manager pops up on LinkedIn". His address is 55km from here. I get an ah -ha moment. I had found the wallet from that f**ing douche that was rude to my cashier before. Your turn to play martyr and exercise Karma. I don't care personally. Do I give it straight to him? Do I write him a sassy note? Do I throw it in the trash? Do I send that note to his mom? Do I ask the cashier what she wants me to do? Do I spend the 15€ on scratch-offs? Do I commit cyber-crime with his ID? ( jkkk) Again, personally I don't care but he did rub me the wrong way. Dude seemed to be the typically sociopath manager. And I literally was thinking about him when I had found it, pretty nuts movie sh*t If you don't come up with anything I'll have to ask reddit 🥴 don't be boring

@Asia P do It. I was skeptical of the idea at the beginning but I've met a few girls that told me LITERALLY the exact same story you are sharing . Apparently some brains are wired to be less jealous ( or they managed to mentally rewire their jealously and not get triggered by it) and open for polyamourousness. I thought that once you start having sex with different people the relationship will crumble but apparently these people are so above the baseline emotional intelligence that they can really handle it You've also hit the jackpot with your X guy. If he's willing to open the relationship up, you're free to explore. You will meet more Y's later in your life Usually an open relationship has to be an expectation you set from the very beginning. Because if you start exclusive and later you want to go non-exclusive, there is a perception of " losing the exclusiveness". You don't have this perception of losing anything if you start with the expectation of polyamourousness Your communication with X seems to be very good and he seems to be open and serious about the idea. This can definitely work, at least short to mid term, if your emotional intelligence is high, and he sees your joy and pleasure as his joy and pleasure and vice versa. This is the way one of the girls explained her open relationship to me. They would come back from their other partners excited to share every that happened and they enjoyed. Pretty remarkable relationship and emotional skills. Men are more open to the idea of open relationships overall because it benefits their reproductive biological reproductive strategy of impregnating as many women as possible Also you are extremely young and inexperienced. You have a very long time to experiment around. And the best time is likely now.

The only time ever I've heard him saying anything along these lines is in the context of grifters like Andrew Tate and Trump, saying that no matter what they do or change such people don't change and stay grifters and con men It would take an extremely close call near death experience or psychedelic breakthrough for them to change that aspect of themselves, and even then it's unlikely

I don't want to gaslight you but I don't think he said that, or it taken out of context. The only constant in life is that nothing is constant Personality is fluid to some degree. Your brain is physically wired to be a certain way within the lines of certain parameters Genes have different expressions in different circumstances. Even your body pretty much absolutely recycles itself in about 8 years. Change is definitely possible, but the psyche is very stubborn and conservative for a good reason. It is for your own safety. Appreciate it. It's basically so that you don't start believing some whacky things too quickly. Change can happen. But It has to be gradual, consistent and slow . Repetition and proof is the language of the subconscious mind

Now you have to share her with Leo. It's part of the commission