Ampresus

Hello everyone. There is this girl who is one grade below me. Recently I have had an eye on her. We have never talked or hung out. I know I can approach her if we are private in the hallway, but that never happens. I see her when we switch classes and my class gets to have her classroom. For a brief moment I see her. I also see her during breaks. Now you might say that I should approach her during the break. Of course I have thought of that many times, but she is always with a group of friends. Me as a loner am always alone. Either reading in the media library or waiting in front of my next class. She and her group of friends most of the time eat in the canteen, somewhere I don't come close to while it is still Ramadan. Any advice on how I approach this lower grade girl? A classmate of mine told me how he got to date someone in a lower grade after I asked him after school. He said that he contacted her with social media. I, however, deleted all social media apps. It is mostly distraction for me. However, if you guys suggest this too, I could make an account again and try to contact her. After her answer for a date and (maybe) exchanging phone numbers, I will delete it again.

24-05-19 It has been too long. A lot has happened. ALMOST QUIT PORN. Just today I jerked off and noticed that after so many days, I haven't really gotten much sperm. Weird, I think? Might need to check that out. Of course, next time will be when I actually have intercourse. No porn. (Btw: I just noticed how after jerking off and hormons rise up and all that, I really get pumped up. Testosteron is making me go nuts.) Now to the, rather, sad stuff. I have recently been having issues related to boredom and loneliness. 2 days ago I decided to ''break the cycle'' as I call it. ''The cycle'' is my daily routine basically. Wake up, go to school, be a robot in school making stupid exercises, coming home, studying, going to my computer, sleep and repeat. I went to the local park. Believe it or not, they have impala's there. I decided to sit my ass down and watch them for hours. Now this is where weird stuff happened. I started feeling really tired. The animal I was watching looked me straight in the eye while eating grass. Things started colliding sometimes, then it would go back to normal. This continued for quite sometime. I would feel like collapsing. My inner me, don't know how to really call it, started breaking down. Exactly when it was breaking down, it built itself up really fast. Then I was back to normal. This might be me daydreaming. Currently I am fasting for Ramadan. I was really down at that point. I will be in the future, but now I want answers for whatever happened there. That is why I will visit those same impala's more in the future.

Been in for 5-6 months I think. Currently on 16 books. I have become a slow reader.

@flowboy Ok lets do it your way.

@bejapuskas Who said she should? She can always reject. Never insisted on her accepting.

@see_on_see Elaborate please. @see_on_see Already on that! @see_on_see I find RSD being really ''THE SECRET 5 STEPS TO SUCCES'' kinda bs. I have figured out by now that quick-fixes are fiction.

@Leo Gura I am aware of this. I used to be like this a few years ago. One of the reasons I deleted social media. It forces me to be social. @Leo Gura I have been in many ''friend groups'', but I just start disliking the people at some point. Getting bored because of boring topics. I mean my class is divided with the troublemakers, ''losers'' (mommy's boys), girl-troublemakers, the always-English-speaking-in-class students, good girls and me and my introverted yet intelligent friend. Outside my class, I have only been part of the ''memers''. Lets just say it got boring pretty quickly. Don't feel like fitting in any. Are you sure I need to be in a group to stand a chance?

@Omni You are acting as if I have done this before. Only once. Rejected. I know of the possibility, I just don't want to keep it all in. Thanks for the advice.

@Eric Tarpall I gave up the religion a long time ago. If I don't fast, I might lose my future investors (parents). Many people on this forum advised me to NOT tell my parents that I gave up on islam. Although soefi's are cool.

@cetus56 I think I know what I am gonna do. Thanks. Although I already know what I want in life. Still will give it a try.

@ajasatya First: make the remaining 8 hours about 3-4 hours. I don't know in what fantasy world you live in, but school is always a burden. There are many upcoming tests and a ton of homework that is asking for my attention. Now comes to part where I have no good response. I have been sitting around doing nothing for the last several days. I know I can watch movies and series, but I don't want to be addicted to any. So I sit around, enjoy being hungry and thirsty, think about all kinds of stuff and wait for my online friend to come online. Recently some classmates have been asking me to play together (rather unusual) and so I play with them from time to time. I used to meditate, do self-inquiry, do concentration practice and read books. Now I am only reading books. All the other things brought a lot of stress with them. Sitting around doing nothing is more fun than sitting in 1 posture neurotically trying to 'look' at your thoughts while your legs start hurting. At least that is my point of view.

Because of my struggle with loneliness, someone adviced me to read “The Anatomy of Loneliness” by the woman herself. Leo put her in stage Turquoise (in the example topic) and so I expected much. Although her book was good and made me understand new things, in the end it all came to love. Something I just don’t understand. She gave a lot of practices and made many references to relationships, even though the book is about being lonely. Her forum is rather confusing to me. I made an account there and posted one thing. The forum seems rather dead, no responses. She has a ‘special’ background story, but her teachings are alright. Still don’t know why she is obsessed with mentioning that people call her The Spiritual Catalyst or something. It is just a title.

@ajasatya My age doesn't allow me to be in control of my life and its future atm. I am forced to go to school. I can't live on my own and I still haven't contacted the Canadian embassy. Maybe I should do that this week... I am trying to cook with my mom from time to time. Trying to learn my favourite meals.

@Shin Yes please. You know Leo created this thing called ''Private Messages'' on his forum. Maybe bring this conversation over to there.

@ajasatya Oh you think I haven't? When you are bored, your mind wanders off pretty fast. I already have 3 potential future plans. I have thought about my future a lot now and am getting more and more excited if I succeed. I don't suppose I need to tell you about all my three plans.

@Scholar I already have read the book. I did almost everything the man said, but was and still am addicted to porn. I haven't tried journaling though.

@ZZZZ I was speaking in a general sense. If you had read my original post, you would know that I get bored of the activities themselves. The time between them is not my issue. Again, I was talking in a general sense. @ZZZZ I know about how porn is supposedly bad. I know about ''my obsession'' with it. I have been trying to quit, but as I mentioned I might try this Tantra masturbation as a replacement. Oh, didn't I mention I am very young? Still am new to my hormones. My boredom IS in the journal of ''finding hobbies, building relationships, being social, working towards something meaningful''. My bad if I didn't mention that I tried all of that. It just became really boring. I have tried a lot of things to change my situation, Why do you think I started to post about it? Am desperate.

@universe I think you should keep in mind that not everyone is like you. Everything you have listed there is part of the problem. It is time that is left after these activities that we are talking about here. A video on boredom would help so many newcomers, including me.

@abrakamowse Thing is with her that I always get so distracted by her beauty that I need to re-watch her videos. Thanks for the recommendation though, I will listen to it.

@abrakamowse I will take this under consideration.

@Truth Addict I was planning on doing this either in the park, in my garden or in my room. Haven't found the time for it. Might try it tomorrow. I am getting sick of looking at my phone. However, I will change in posture from time to time. No more neurotic ''needing to stay still as long as possible'' shenanigans.

@TheAvatarState Raged after 1 game, uninstalled it. Terrible game. @TheAvatarState I know this is bullshit. Teal Swan has mentioned that many times in her book about loneliness. @TheAvatarState Thank you. Holy damn. @TheAvatarState This was most of it. I don't suppose you want to hear me whine about how I hate school and find it a waiste of time, how hungry and thirsty I am because of Ramadan and that I still haven't started with meditation after my last time about a week ago. Thanks for the long post, I am gonna reread it a lot of times.

@pluto I appreciate the response, but I already know how to make friends. I just don't want to be someone I am not, which that channel basically forces you to. I have one friend and he is more introverted than me. We have had long talks even when I least expected it. The legend doesn't know, but he got me through a rough day during a schooltrip in Austria (I am not that good with skiing). I already have joined several friend groups, but now I am on my own. I don't want to be part of something if it means not being myself.

@winterknight I happened to have read about Freud in Sophie's World yesterday, but I just don't know what I should do. How to psychoanalysis?

Hello everyone. Always when I go to school and usually when I go back to my home I listen to one or two of Leo's videos on Audio. I can if I want listen to 2 videos per day. Long ones and short ones. The thing is that I go to school with the tram and one ride lasts around 40 minutes. So basically I have a lot of free time. Now everytime I listen to Leo in the end he always says something like: ''Make sure to follow me on this journey, commit to watching these videos once a week and you will change your life.'' [...]once a week[...] Is two videos a day too much then? Or even one video a day? I do realize that doing the practical stuff while stuffing in new theory everyday really delays your practice. I also don't remember a lot of the practices Leo gave me.