bejapuskas

@Rishabh R One principle I always follow and I think Leo has a video about this is that I expose myself to more experiences - things I know nothing about, go to events I might think are lame or uninteresting, talk to people who are very different from me. For example I went to a talk about African hairstyles because I didnt know much about them or I asked people who like shopping to take me with them to a shop and ask them why they like it. I realized I hated shopping because I did not pay attention to what I actually wanted to buy and instead just listened to what others said. Now I like shopping. That would be like surface level, but then I considered myself to be highly sexual, but then I spoke to a sex repulsed asexual aromantic person and that became like such a deep inquiry into the truth of my desires in life and it made so much stuff resurface.

@A_v_E You can deny race yet still benefit from it. That is devilry. Stealing "some minerals" is an understatement. Research more about how much the Indian influence on the global market for example decreased after colonization. You will most likely be shocked just by how much. If you keep being close minded to questioning your racist biases, expect a warning.

@Rishabh R I am happy to see you value truth. Keep going. Truth is what we are left with. What sometimes helps me when contemplating psychological stuff is to imagine if I would still be doing something if everyone else was not. For example if majority was not chasing girlfriends, would I still be doing that etc.

@Hardkill idk how much the Americans are open to that lol

But also there is the problem of perceiving non-white cultures as inherently bad in the majority of ways, when white people have so much to learn from other cultures and they are not doing that. Honestly, white people are rich because of how they exploit other people. They are living off of their wealth. I am not surprised the people who got their wealth stolen want it back. White people are also the worst immigrants, every time they immigrate to a country, they enslave the population or kill it. Why do we think we are so superior? (Not to say that other races do not exploit, the Japanese and Chinese and other nations definitely did, but also, they are the lighter skinned ones in their region.) And also some white people have issues with harmless things, like my dad told me that he does not like Arabs because they sit on blankets that they put next to a gas station and listen to music in Arabic. I do not see how that is a problem, if the blankets are not blocking the cars from going in? This is literally so common and most white families confirm their rasist biases in like a lot of conversations they have, for example during family celebrations etc. There are so many things that get suppressed from other cultures that are totally harmless. Do you think that discouraging people from creating diversity in society by expressing harmless aspects of their culture is assimilation? I just want to clarify what you mean by assimilation. The aspects of culture that most people see as negative that are according to them coming from immigrants are often not cultural, but they are global phenomena, like patriarchy, transphobia, homophobia, aphobia, classism, casteism... They happen EVERYWHERE. If you as a White person hold a racist belief about somebody who you might think is lower consciousness than you or less spirally developed than you, first erradicate every belief that is sexist, racist, queerphobic or whatever else you have got, especially those that you personally benefit from, and then criticize. Just because somebody else is doing something we are also doing, be it to lower or higher extent, does not mean we have the right to judge those people.

I agree with this. Immigrants can suffer from feeling like their culture is being lost or that they are not connected to it. An immigrant can learn a language and be able to communicate without asimilating. It gets so boring when everyone becomes white. So many art forms, languages etc. are lost. You do not want that over multiculturalism.

@Preety_India Wow, this post is really inspiring. I wish more people here were as capable as you.

@zurew Unfortunately sometimes the scientific people however only trust the kind of scientific information that confirms their view. @Leo Gura Maybe we misunderstand each other. I am not saying that rape is culturally relative, be it rape of a kid or a rape of an adult. I was more so talking about the unjust laws. I was talking about law as it is, crime as it is defined differently in different cultures, not consciousness or morality or selflessness, legal stuff. And I still believe that attraction to kids not always leads to rape, just like attraction to people of your age does not always lead to it, although sometimes it does. @Danioover9000 I would be careful with saying it is negative in such places. There are gay people in Iran, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Tanzania, North Korea... All these places. It would benefit the people to teach it, because they are there. It is not negative in that sense. Maybe you did mean this, but I believe it is more dangerous rather than negative. Fighting for rights is always good, but it can put people into danger. So thats why I dont like the word negative and would rather use dangerous, because I dont wanna assume that countries with less progressive governments dont have gay people. And actually, in many places, as Somebody already mentioned, the horrible state of consciousness can be caused by the "developed colonizers" who robbed the native people of their superior wisdom of the past and enforced their values. Be careful what you believe.

@Preety_India I dont agree with you but I understand your fear. It can surely be scary to think about it, I myself have been prayed on by a guy who stalked me multiple days to school and invited me to his car once too. He is a bad guy, just like so many others. But if he never did what he did and did not sit next to me in school bus etc., I would be fine with his existence as such. I still dont get why being gay is a problem though? Why is it reasonable argument to try and prevent people from being that, if it is aligned with their most truthful expression of themselves? Arent we supposed to value truth here? Sure, if your true expression is fucking corpses or animals and catching some nasty diseases that you then spread onto others, or fucking kids, the best thing is to remain in the ethical realm, seek support, but not try to explore true sexual desire and realize it. But then with gay, trans, aromantic, asexual, what the fuck is peoples problem, seriously? It can be good to be that way, the only thing that makes it bad is the legal oppression, bullying, not being accepted etc. It is not a mental illness, it is fine. Thinking that like oh thank God my kids are allosexual, they will not suffer from beingn forced into having sex by others etc., it is well meaning, but it still kisses the oppressors feet and it does not advocate for full expression and truth. I dont see a good argument for not teaching it, I think theres such a thing as straight agenda, cis agenda, allo agenda, it is all bad, whatever agenda you have, unless it embraces all.

@Preety_India If they never rape a child, if they stay away from that, I dont see how they are bad. Not all people who experience attraction to kids act on it, just like not all people who have attraction to people their age rape, although some do. Many people who offend kids are not attracted to them and they do it out of boredom or porn addiction or other things. It is not that simple. I am not advocating for child marriage or anything like that, I believe kids are asexual. They can be curious about bodies, but I believe they do not desire sexual relarionships, especially not with adults. But if somebody just like leaves it at being attracted to them, but does not do anything wrong per se, seeks treatment etc. Then I think those people are better than corrupt politicians with loads of power to harm and destroy.

I actually dont really see how the claim that consciousness inversely correlates with crime stands. Given that crime is culturally relative. If you think using some psychedelics is a crime, which it is in many countries, then all these youtubers and all are criminals, despite being perceived as high consciousness. Secondly, if we assume there are so little "solid turquoise people" yet we can easily name quite a few of which have kinda sus traits or history, how does that even add up? Perhaps crime is just really common, or perhaps these enlightened people are mostly just bullshitters. I also think that being a pedophile, meaning a person who is attracted to kids, who does not offend who is anti-homophobic is a much better thing to be than a "normal" "sexually healthy" person who dehumanizes minorities and "protects kids" by letting adults check for their genitals upon entering bathrooms. I actually have zero respect for the second person, while I think being a pedophile and not being able to have a relationship with a person of your age or suffering from pedophilia OCD, whichever it is, or even both, is nothing wrong, compared to all these disgusting policies. Thinking something bad but not acting on it is not bad in itself.

Not teaching kids about gender and sexuality can lead to catastrophic consequences. For example, a menstruating person lives in a household where non-menstruating are included in conversations about these types of issues and they get as educated as them. When the menstruating person reaches puberty and start menstruating, they are not afraid to tell people in their family. They are not afraid to ask about healthy choices etc. On the other hand, some other person lives in a country where menstruation is taboo and the parents always lie to their kids, saying menstrual products in ads are diappers. (This is quite common) When this person starts menstruating, they feel afraid, they might hide their blood and become sick as a result. Same goes for gender and sexuality. This affects everyone, as I believe everyone has at least one thing connnected to their perceived gender/sexuality identity that they dislike and want to question. However, questioning is quite difficult without proper education. When we talk about educating kids, we are really talking about freedom and being the creators of our lives. At this point in time, gay people have less STDs than straight people, probably because there has been increased awareness through the epidemic caused by lack of education and homophobia. On the other hand, straight people drown in their entitlement that they are better than the gay and the cost of their homophobia is sometimes unfortunately the HIV virus. The answer is to educate ourselves more, not to hide the issues. This can be applied to other forms of questioning. Maybe a trans person who would otherwise not want surgery is pressured by society to get it, because they think only certain body types can help them express who they are. (This doesnt mean surgery is bad, but there exists pressure and a certain norm thats harmful) They then regret making the decision to undergo it when it may be too late. Or maybe an asexual boy doesnt feel sexually attracted to people and also does not desire sex, but he feels obliged to like it because of Incel movement and peer pressure. He then gets laid and feels like he has just been raped because of lack of education about different types of identities. Queerness is not disgusting. It is not unnecessarily complex. It is not to be ignored. Hetero means different. Why dont we see heterosexuals as the queer people who are too complex then? As the "Other" in society? I am sure many of us here are tired of constantly kissing the feet of homophobic, transphobic, aphobic and other types of repressed stage Blue people every single day.

@puporing you sound like what Simmone de Beauvoir calls the daydreamer lol. Thank you for the answer to my question.

@puporing What kind of decision do you mean?

@Vynce I know this is a long word, but have you ever heard about amatonormativity? My aromantic asexual friend told me about this. There are so many things in the media, culture, family, friend groups etc. that push people to adapt this idea of romance. I actually heard somewhere that romance originated as a made up fairy tale thing and only later did it transition into reality of some sort. But wtf is romance? Second grader would tell you that hugging somebody is romance. It is valid for their experiences, but is it universal? How is your idea of romance or my idea of romance any more universal than that of a second grader? What is the thing that amatonormativity imposes on people. Maybe romance is just two people agreeing that there is romance between them. I am not aromantic or asexual, but the idea of monogamy for life scares the shit out of me. What if I question my sexuality? I have been questioning that so much that I just cannot imagine sticking to a specific person. The only reason I would do that would be if they were just that good and if I did not want to waste energy into this one area of life that is so overhyped while not really providing any opportunities for self-transcendence - how is having sex or talking connected to going beyond reproduction and achieving full potential?

@Striving for more It is better to be played if you know you are being played and agree to it. Better than getting manipulated by some person who is not true to themselves and others and imposes red pill ideas. @Antor8188 Psychedelics can shape your perception into thinking that others are attracted to you even they are really not. Be careful with those substances, you could misinterpret so much stuff and potentially sexually hurt someone. I am not saying you as a person are dangerous, but I just would not give a substance this much faith in this context, as other people are involved. Plus as others advised, you could start getting telepathy or something inside the club and go completely mad beyond imagination.

This looks like a lot of bias to me. Why do you let yourself get away with this double standard and not her? I know it is hard to be in this situation, especially because it seems like such a big thing might happen if you mess up. I dont know who I agree with, I kinda do with both, I think it is fine to some extent, but also I think that flirting can like go too far before you realize it. (Especially on psychedelics) I would have this conversation with her. It might be tough and break you for some time, but I think maybe you need to question what a relationship means to you, whether you even want an exclusive relationship, whether you can tolerate LDR, whether you only like women or perhaps other genders or maybe nobody at all! Many things can arise from this, so be ready.

Spreading and promoting MGTOW on this forum is not allowed.

@Gianna It is really easy for a cisgender woman who is fine with the gender roles as they are set up to think that relationships work so easily. Saying such universal statements about what NATURAL women (as if that even exists) want sounds a bit transphobic to me and uninclusive. If we wanna get more perspectives on this thread and learn from all of them, we should try to consider more how the things we say influence others.

You guys should stop assuming your gender roles. I am not sure if you had discussed this, but if you never bring it up, I dont see why he would be to blame. One year relationship for some people doesnt mean one starts taking care of the other financially, thats not a universal thing. Some girls would get angry at a guy paying for them, as it would maybe seem for them like he assumes their responsibilities and roles etc. Some guys get jealous of their female partners who earn more money than them which is annoying and this also adds to the whole mixture. Discuss this i suggest. What are your assumptions, what are you willing to do, how serious are you about your relationship, what life style do you imagine?

@PepperBlossoms what specifically do you have in mind when you talk about not having control, being forced to do things etc.?

Maybe she wants to be active in sex. Let her be what SHE wants to be. She knows best. Let her follow the good feeling and her desires. Do not impose some book on her.

@John Paul You are way too vague. I dont know what you mean. This forum is still below green.

@OBEler longer than a week. I would question your beliefs if I were you, it is good she is feeling better but it could still become worse.

I was thinking today about how lower stages call green naive. And I think green is actually less stuck in illusion than them and understands the seriousness of issues that fly over stage Orange and below people's heads. And they become sensitive as a result of this more expanded awareness rather than the opposite. Lower stages are desensitized because they are naive and living in illusion.