bejapuskas

@fridjonk This is actually already accepted knowledge between doctors who study this area at university, but the 'support' that's provided to them is kind of ridiculing them even more. I guess this would even be a potential life purpose material.

@INIT Stop taking life so seriously

@mandyjw Oh I misinterpreted what you wanted to say. I was talking about the male driver culture of saying 'it's always a (blonde) woman when some accident happens on the road' and 'women should not legally own driving licenses'. Have you never heard this comment? I think many people believe that men are more clever in certain tasks, one of them being driving, which might be true I don't know. But also I think many women then adapt this belief and men also and then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because of the fear that's felt by women. I've seen this issue being discussed in talks from transpeople (male -> female) who suddenly started feeling more uncertain whether they are right because men are just too confident and they always act like women are inferior.

@mandyjw because my Dad is a truck driver just like almost any other male driver and I had to learn at a young age that wonderful loving men sometimes say some horribly unconscious hurtful things about women.

@Martin123 Thank you for creating this thread. I was also thinking about creating a similar one, but I guess I didn't want to write any critique of someone when I haven't yet solved all of my problems (that will never come I guess but whatever) and was also thinking whether I am not missing some important point in this complex matter of internet forum combined with self help combined with social dynamics combined with people coming from different developmental stages... I think this might be an issue for more people, not knowing what they can express, and from some perspective the thing with people getting banned makes it harder, but it also from the perspective of Leo (who spends many of his own resoruces to run this forum) and many others this regulation helps in a big way, because it makes it harder for the forum to turn into something impossible to regulate, which is in my opinion more important, because the individual problems, concerns and views on Leo, everyone can theoretically solve in their own minds. About sexual harassment in the dating section, it is very difficult because in an environment where there are people coming from different cultural backgrounds which this forum is, it is impossible to objectively define what is and what isn't sexual harassment, but also one might argue that this forum's goal is to eliminate ideology and unhealthy cultural and family conditioning, although that is also hard to define when talking about a population of people bigger than one. I also want to say that I am happy for the people who are defending Leo on this thread, because even though it was created with the purpose of constructive criticism, we still haven't covered all the points thoroughly and it is more interesting to have all the different voices in this debate and as somebody has already pointed out, it is hard to stay without any controversy if you are a celebrity (which from one perspective can tell us something about the incredible integrity of some of the spiritual teachers who have very little controversy about themselves).

@Shin Thanks for the reminder, I totally forgot.... How can I be so foolish, gosh...

Ah yes Shin we missed you

@somegirl It might have been luck if there were only a few people on this planet but there are more than 7 billion. Even though some people click better than others, you can also work on yourself.

I would just recommend you not to take a decision in some sort of panic or fear. Also observe yourself whether you haven't closed your mind to learning new things, it is very hard to escape learning in life.

@Shin I think these thoughts are just pointing at what is already true now. I don't know how else to say it. How is this not infinite? Maybe you are underestimating just how infinite love is. I guess go with the thing you stated 'I kinda know what to do' and things will unravel, you will suddenly remember what you forgot. What you described sounds very trippy to be honest x)

@zeroISinfinity ??

That's crazy man, I hope you will be okay and definitely don't be afraid to tell someone, you haven't done anything wrong. I guess it's nice to know martial arts in a situatuon like this, better than to not know them, but if there are 2 or more people going against you, bigger and stronger than you and possibly armed, I wouldn't risk it, a pepper spray is better than knife imo, it is much easier to use, plus you can state out of range and flee more easily. We are here for you man, I really hope you get better.

@zeroISinfinity Anime is love

Being who you are isn't inherently dangerous. The world where everyone is who they are and the world where everyone thinks they are not who they are is the exact same world. Looking for truth is not looking for one specific thing, see it as looking for that which is true, whatever that is, if you have a destination that you want to arrive at and also want to arrive at truth, you are split. Is there a truth or is there not any truth?

You can find like minded people at events you feel drawn to, like psychedelic festivals, vegan food workshops, yoga classes etc...

This subjective experience happens quite frequently among meditators, for example Dalai Lama recognized Eduard Tomas when they met once. I don't know what it means, but it's not like something similar hasn't happened before.

@Eren Eeager Shinzo o sasageyo! (anime reference the op probably knows)

This sounds like impossible reality for me but maybe I know what you mean actually. I guess it depends on what you want out of your life, whether video games keep you from doing the things you value more than them. Also some people cannot get any intellectual stimulation because of having bad teachers, bad education methodology or whatever which kills their curiosity so they go into video games and use a lot of their mental capacity there in order to fulfill this need of learning something, and video games have a very high learning curve but they can also be very addictive.

One of the best ways to have something to talk about is to have meaningful experiences related to the position you are applying for.

You are inevitably changing something. But it is very easy to overestimate the speed at which you can make a change in the direction you want it to be changed in.

@evgn About OCD, you can talk to me. I think I am able to guess what you are going through right now. Also feel free to create your own thread about your issues so that the OP and you don't get too confused about two people's problems being discussed in one place

@INIT I am glad that you are still here to reply to us. From what you are saying it seems like your existence by itself is an unpleasant thing, why do you think that? You say that you have no idea what you are or what anyone else is, but you also say that if you would've committed suicide your body would not be there. Does that mean you would not be there also, or does that just mean that the body would not be there? Is that body yours, is it you, or what is that body? Maybe you wouldn't be insane for not knowing who you are, who is there to judge? The others that you also do not know who the hell they are? You say that 'if this is not insane, I have no idea what is'. So does that mean this is a limited concept and outside of the concept 'this', there are also concepts that are not insane? Or are all concepts insane? Could you live without concepts, could there just be no concepts? For there to be a concept of 'I', there does not have to be an actual 'I'. There can be a concept of a monster under the bed without there being a monster under the bed. But the concepts can make you turn off the lights and sprint to bed asap. What makes 'you' different from the 'monster under the bed' idea? Again, who is there to judge? You are talking as if 'you being' was a bad thing. Maybe you cannot unsee that, maybe you can, have you tried? When people call you crazy, does that immediately suggest that they cannot relate? Have you actually gave them the chance to relate in the first place? In order for someone to relate to someone else, there has to be a certain someone, right, and someone else to relate to. But what if there could be a believed thought of a 'false I' and overlooked 'true I', whatever that is, what would that mean? Would that for example bring up the possibility that someone could act as if they were not themselves and then if someone wanted to relate to them, they would just be missing the target by relating to the false I of the other person? Do you think it is possible that this is what is happening? You really don't need to understand anything, it's a matter of choice. One does not have to seek understanding if they don't want to.

@Don Wei That's cool that you got that handled. And I guess yeh judging these people is just a waste of time. I was thinking you might have had this idea that like when you get to this school, all your troubles will fall away and something magical will happen, that's obviously and expectation that will make you suffer. Life doesn't change with things like this for anyone in this sense. But yeh don't worry about it too much, you will get better, just stay honest to yourself

@Don Wei You might be very highly conscious, but that doesn't mean you don't need to organize your schedule, manage your time, study efficiently, do all the work necessary, build practical skills etc... You still have 24 hours and 7 days a week, just like everyone else. Be easy on yourself, you are in this limited human condition in this life and you need to go with that. Don't rush anything, the beginnings might be very hard to adapt to, so take it one step at a time, your problems are solvable, but don't focus at all of them at once, that would just be even more overwhelming for you. Maybe start with managing your schedule and then when everything is taken care of related to your academics, move to going to gym, then meditation etc... Patience. Be careful with building this sort of successful mask and trying to show it to others. A successful mask can get you valuable contact information, it can get you invitations to nice events, it can get you money and fame, but it won't get you self-acceptance. If you think you are a successful person who studies at their dream school in the Netherlands or that you are a highly conscious person who meditates twice a day and writes a book, you will immediately start going against that. I don't know what happened earlier in your life, maybe in Suriname, maybe it was related to this lack of opportunities, but you literally cannot be accepted if you show others your false self, it's like trying, but for someone else. You need to throw away these concepts about your identity and what you are to be able to be authentic and feel accepted. You might be feeling that this bad feeling will always follow you, because it is actually a pointer that is pointing, that this problem is rooted in this identity, which indeed follows you everywhere you go. I get the sense that you just need to break out from the illusion of being perfect and go back to work. Don't be afraid of hard work, it can feel good as well, it might actually feel worse if you try to run away and procrastinate. And yes, life can be better, you are missing connection with what you are and what you want.

By that logic, @zeroISinfinity would be the most awakened person on this forum. Jokes aside, can you be more specific, what do you usually talk about that others don't get?