bejapuskas

I think you might have some idea that your attraction should not be obvious, otherwise the woman might become turned off, perhaps you felt some sort of performance anxiety or insecurity? Don't think of this as something to just get over with, you're missing the point.

I think the most important values of such group are honesty and openness.

I think some excuses might include that this model is more difficult to remember, it is not simply colours. I can also see how it is easier for judgemental people to use Spiral Dynamics for devilish purposes than the Cook-Greuter one.

@Strangeloop Just do what feels natural and good and what you both want. Perhaps this time you might feel less shame or you might realize different things, let us know!

I agree, without your own understanding, you might just swim in meaningless ideas others have put inside your head and not be able to make sense out of any of them. It is wise to reflect on the kind of friendships you've had, see what you have enjoyed and perhaps give what you want to receive. Create some boundaries as well for the people you want to keep in your life.

@Hardkill But men can still have bad sex. They still have their boundaries that can be crossed, you might still feel ashamed or something, even though you did not for example think you would before engaging in the sexual activity. @Arcangelo This perspective is biased. If you think that all sex workers or even a majority of them work like that because they are simply horny, that is just your projection. There are many women who are being disadvantaged by the larger socio-political system that discriminates their gender and race for example, leaving them with no other work option. Please be careful with projecting your own biases. There is no such thing as basic reality, no such thing as general truth. Only simplistic, incomplete thinking, that is usually driven by bias. @Gesundheit Yeh I mean why not communicate this, if you do not enjoy sex with your partner, tell them about that, both men and women can improve. Some women probably do not know how to give oral sex, because they do not have a penis and cannot imagine how it works, what it feels like to have one. It is not common sense, but it does not mean one cannot learn how to be better at sex. Both men and women can improve.

@Hardkill I think the point is, women want sex, they can enjoy sex, they can crave sex, just like you. There is nothing wrong about sex or wanting sex or having sex with a woman, there is nothing wrong about enjoying sex. You don't need to be ashamed. Drop the shame and don't victim blame yourself, make sure you get proper consent and communicate well with the other person, care about their pleasure and feelings. Stop listening to RedPill it is seriously toxic.

@Aaron p Do you have any more tips or safety measures perhaps for those who are not familiar with psychedelics? Because it can often happen that somebody takes a psychedelic and they become horny and confused because nobody told them they can become so horny on a psychedelic...

@sleep Do you think your personality is an unchangeable given?

This sounds like contemplation is trying to arrive at an answer whereas critical thinking is something like questioning the position where the question comes from or like studying the metaphysics of that question.

The size of the dose matters soooo much. Two different doses are like two different substances. And no you can't predict.

Does anyone here maybe have experience with this that they could share?

@sleep Maybe you haven't quite resolved this, what is it about you that is unworthy of friends? Is there anything at all?

@Roy You are being quite delusional there. Even if you have a one-night stand with a person you know, not a horny stranger who you do not give consent to, things might feel awkward and giving consent might be awkward. It is not like every man would enjoy almost any sex with almost any girl, that is just so wrong. And certainly a man can have sex and not enjoy it, or even get raped. People on this forum have faced this, so please be careful about what you post here. I think it is indeed because of the false beliefs about sex and human connections many Redpilled boys believe. It is totally normal for a girl to want sex more often, it is also a question of how much the person she is having sex with cares about her pleasure. If they are caring, she will want more, if they are not caring, she will not want more maybe, makes sense? Also a woman needs more buildup, more foreplay, but if that is provided she can feel extremely horny. This doesn't only work in a bubble. @How to be wise It does have things to do with fear, for example if somebody believes they need sex to feel happy, they seek it so much and they think that any sex will do, their self-esteem becomes so low. Perhaps women take more time to start feeling horny but like if they do, then it is quite easy to tell that they are.

Sounds good bro. If you feel performance anxiety or some other insecurity that's ok, it doesn't really matter so much. That's how you think about that, it is nothing serious. You can get over performance anxiety by being nice to the other person and using not only your dick, Leo has good videos on that. You can watch those, even though many things are pretty easy and you can learn them just by listening to the other person.

I don't know whether you can know something without experiencing it for yourself, that is an epistemic question. But I think it is true and I am confused that Leo says otherwise if he actually does. Or he probably means something slightly different.

Maybe "someone like me" suggests fear of opening up, vulnerability etc...? Is that it?

You might not be gay, you might be bisexual, pansexual, you might have different preferences on different days, it's not like there is only gay or straight. You might also be very confused about what you are doing if it were to be your first time and you even lied about your virginity. I can imagine there was a lot of confusion going on in your head, perhaps try more times and if even that doesn't work, then consider other possibilities.

Was this your first time doing this or doing this with this person? That might also be the reason, sometimes first times feel awkward I mean, but of course you need to find for yourself.

Thank you so much Leo for what you are doing. I have been watching your content since I was 14 years old and it really made my life better, more passionate. Even the video about how to make a girl squirt, I know it was a filler one, but still, very amazing. I hope you stop feeling this kind of pressure, it is your own creative process, plus ideally, there should be no teacher needed in this world. I think you taking a break will give many of us space to realize things about life ourselves, get back to our spiritual practice, back to what matters, perhaps practice some pick up from time to time, I don't know. I also want to say that I am really happy about you being no bullshit and realistic in your last video and I am also grateful for the many mature responses to this video of yours. Get well soon, shit happens, but if somebody does the work it is you.

I think this thread could be in both subforums, but perhaps by relationships you could also see same sex non-romantic relationships (friendships for example) and what you posted about has to do with solving conflict in relationships. The thing with fighting is that you can never know how strong your opponent is; if you learn that a problem can be solved with fists, then you can easily get yourself into trouble. You might attack somebody who is very aggressive and they could send you to the hospital very quickly. So I think teaching kids to talk things through is a kind of a protection. Plus self-reflection and open-mindedness are much more sustainable solutions to conflict.

Some pills can be addictive also. I second the trying to please the other person, it doesn't actually decrease your own pleasure as some might think. It can be a lot of fun for both of you.

I suspect your values might have developed over those three years, but perhaps not so much in the area of relationships. I think if you only imagine things from the state of not being in a relationship, it is like imagining how to play sport vs. playing it. If you actually enter at least one relationship and get a new experience, that by itself is going to teach you way more than any response you get here. You might be overthinking this idea of relationships too much, trying to create some sort of moral code, plan or whatever without understanding what you want.

Yeh I think you are making a lot of assumptions. Have you ever actually tried a poly relationship? I am confused about whether you are actually asking without the background experience or with some degree of experience...

It seems to me like you just need more experience in order to know better what you want