Identity

@Leo Gura Ahh, that makes sense, thank you! Looking forward to the videos. If I got a euro for every time you said "I'll shoot a video on that soon" I'd be rich by now! haha just playing

I am now in a phase of creating a vision and laying a foundation. This could on the one hand be seen as one of the first two stages, but it feels more like a chapter for me. Around 2 years ago I moved to a different place and started to create a vision for my life and to build up good habits, whilst also in the process of completing my studies. Im now really hitting this chapter full force and its coming together beautifully. I have a good year left for this. Next chapter will be financial independence, for which I really have already started now, but this will become the main focus a year from now.

For a while now I've been feeling an increasing desire to be understood. As I grow, I can share less and less of my experiences and insights with the people around me. I especially feel the urge to find a girl who understands me and with whom I can share stuff. I wonder whether this urge is something healthy which I should pursue, or if it is just a baby blanket I am reaching for. I remember having similar urges a year ago. Then, when I faced my loneliness these urges subsided. Then again, I'm 23 and have never been in a committed relationship, maybe it's a healthy step. But is being driven by this need to be understood a healthy place to come from, or is it a crutch to fulfill my loneliness?

@zeroISinfinity Thank you, I am going to do a trip tomorrow. Facing my loneliness will be my main purpose @ivory Yeah, exactly. That's the thing I'm not really sure about. But my life is going really well and it just seems to go better at an increasing rate. . I cry on a regular basis about just how beautiful my life is. That being said its also quite though at the same time. I've worked a lot on self-acceptance. Now I feel like I just want to hug someone and never let go. @Nahm Pfff, man, that's so ridiculously wise once again. I'm working on that and going deeper and deeper... but it's just so fucking much. It's so fucking total. It's so much so fast it got me squirming on the floor saying ffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccckkkkkkk. I know in theory "I" am all alone, and at moments I can grasp that... But in my daily stuff I don't. I don't think I can let the light in any faster then I am doing now

@DrewNows Awesome video, very relevant. Thank you. ?

There is a girl that I have liked for a very long time. I fell for her when I was 14 years old. At that time there were definitely some vibes between us, but for some reason, I never dared to tell her I liked her. So, life went on. We went to the same high school, where she had a long term relationship with someone else. Although I was quite popular, I never had a girlfriend or did much at all with girls. It didn't come naturally to me, I wasn't comfortable with being with girls, probably because I wasn't comfortable with myself. During the whole of highschool, I remained to like her, but never dared to tell her or do anything about it. So, from age 18 to 20 we saw each other a lot less. We went to universities in different cities. When I was around 19 I also started my pick-up journey. I watched a lot of RSD material and went out to bars with some good friends trying to get girls. This progressed me a lot with attracting girls. I had a bunch of one night stands, which gave me some confidence, but it didn't help me to address the deeper issues preventing me from being comfortable with having a girl in my life for a longer time period. When I was 20 I moved to the same city the girl I like lives, to do my masters. I went out with her and some friends regularly. There were definitely some vibes between us ones again. We made out a few times whilst going out as she was single at the time. My feelings for her started to rekindle. However, I was in this pick-up journey, which was at that time just starting to become fruitful. I had this idea in my mind that I shouldn't get in a relationship right now, rather I should master attraction for now (probably just denying my fears of facing my feelings and telling her). What I did was suppress my feelings for her and stayed on my pick-up journey. Around a year ago (I'm 23 now) this pick-up journey started to feel really inauthentic to me. It also became clear to me that I was not addressing some deeper issues, as I still didn't manage to keep any girls around me for a longer time period. It also just felt wrong and I was sick of manipulating girls all the time, playing mind games all the time trying to appear "valuable". So I dropped a lot of the game mimics. Instead, I went inside, also did a bunch of psychedelics. For a good half a year, although I didn't stop trying completely, I did not even kiss a girl. I realized a big part of it also had to do with me not being comfortable with my sexuality. Now that I was no longer suppressing my feelings and fears, I didn't even dare to try to kiss a girl. A bunch of other stuff happened as well, but pretty much I transitioned from stage orange to stage green in the dating domain. Around 5 months ago I had a breakthrough. I told a woman that was attracted to me, my former yoga instructor, my whole story. It was the first time that I became intimate with someone whilst feeling really fully authentically myself. Since then we have been meeting every few weeks to hook up. It helped me so much to become more comfortable with myself and my sexuality. Now I am in a really good situation when it comes to dating. I feel like I can be vulnerable and be authentic. Also, I have a few different girls in my life as well, with whom I can be honest and are cool with casually hooking up. I also met this amazing girl just 2 weeks ago. She is probably also the reason why I feel like I need to resolve the issue with the girl I have had a crush on all this time, as I can see myself being with this new girl. Anyways, let's get back to the main issue. Tomorrow I am going to get a drink with the girl in question. I am convinced I want to tell her that I have liked her for all this time (which, to be honest, can't be THAT massive of a surprise to her). It will be really scary to do, but I think I can do it. Telling her that I liked her in the past will be challenging, but not the problem. I don’t know what I want to tell her about how I feel now. Partly, because I don’t know how I feel right now. Also like I mentioned; she is in a relationship now. I think I should have some kind of a plan in mind though. Telling her I liked her in the past, but not anymore, would be a lie. She definitely still moves me. However, I am also not sure how much. We have seen each other every now and again, but mostly in group settings. I don’t know what it would be like to really be with her 1 on 1 for longer time periods. So what do I tell her. Yup I liked you a lot in the past, still have some feelings for you, oh btw how is your boyfriend doing? I think it will be an awkward situation if I don’t know what I want. But then again, I don’t know what I want. All advice is welcome

It went really well. We had a good time talking, and I still felt a fysical attraction to her, but it became clear to me that I did not have a desire to be in a relationship with her. I told her that I had liked her for a long time, and we discussed that. After that we talked some more, and left as friends. ?

I need to figure it out by meeting with her. i haven’t been with her 1 on 1 since a long time, and in that time I have changed so much, and so will she have. There is no need to make any romantic gestures, however I do need to be authentic in my expression towards her. If there are vibes, there are vibes. If I in that moment feel like I need to tell her something, than I should not supress that feeling. My throath chakra has been the biggest blockage from being real with her. Any supression from that department or inauthenticity is what I should try to overcome.

Is it something I need to figure out before the dat, or can I use the date to figure it out?

I dont know what I want. That’s the problem right there. That’s what I need to find out.

I like fearless (youtube channel and website) a lot. Also Zan Perrion and especially his book the alabaster girl is great. Both stage greenish perspectives I would say. love the way of the superior man as well.

All I can tell you is, I recently transitioned from stage orange to stage green, and it really fucked with my sexuality. I think because stage green is much more introspective and in touch with feeling you have to face a lot of things you suppressed in stage orange. In stage orange I would just push down any feelings of insecurities and go at it. This resulted for me in pretty bad sex, not feeling a lot, and finding it hard to come. These problems have now largely been resolved, but it took me around half a year of not having any results with girls whatsoever, and not being able to express my desires, because I could actually feel my fears. Just saying that this might be a sign of growth rather than a problem. Probably you have to face some things through and be much more vulnerable during sex. I would suggest to keep listening to yourself and find a girl with whom you are comfortable, perhaps can even tell your issue to. Hope that helps

I was just thinking about IQ, as I've found @Leo Gura talking about its unimportance and delutedness. Than I had this idea that maybe it's not completely useless, but it is highly specific to the values and goals you have in mind. So for example, for stage orange IQ tests might be very valuable. If you are to assume that in this reality you are very important, and it is very important for you to build mental models to manipulate the environment to your preference, IQ might be a pretty important measure of someone's ability to do that. It's one of multiple measures maybe, but quite useful. (Forgetting maybe the question of how one gets to an IQ level). If you are an investment banking company, building software to exploit "inaccuracies" from the market according to some complex calculations, on some Suits type shit, would you rather have the guy who scored high or low on the IQ test? I know I am choosing the latter. However, looking at it from a stage green perspective where you are trying to maximize love, acceptance, community, etc. It makes much less sense; Just open your heart and accept each other, we will figure it out together! No need to put people in categories guys, or girls, or whatever you want to be called! How unfear those poor low IQ scored people have grown up, let's give them a hug. Stage yellow, I would think; how can we optimize this system we call society and bring it to a better performing level? IQ tests are a flimsy surface level tool which we will probably not use, or use as a very partial perspective, to make this shit happen. Or, as I try to understand, from a turquoise perspective, as moving parts of consciousness. IQ test? What the hell are you talking about? Get on that meditation cushion real quick, and plan a 5-meo session whilst you are at it.

This question just hit me. I was thinking about understanding things. What got really clear to me us the understanding by BEING. What is hard for me to grasp is the relationship between BEING something and symbolically understanding what something is. Like language, models, pictures, whatever. They seem to arise to me at these moments. But what is going on here? Where does this come from? How to actually evaluate whether anything is accurate? People have idea's all the time. Also, those ideas might come from what they perceive to be god-like states of consciousness. What instrument of evaluation can you use to make any of what is arising? Rationality? But is a partial perspective? Does not account for the whole, but where does it usefulness end and the delusion start? Intuition? What do you know about intuition? When is it some true intuition and not when are you deluding yourself? How will you evaluate the difference, by using some thought process? pictures/symbols? Some kind of picture the mind present and enters with a lot of noise? How the hell do you even understand what that is?

Just had this idea, wanted to share and see what others think. Comedy and laughing is an important component, or maybe more a tool, for spirituality. Through these activities you learn to take yourself a lot less serious, it detaches you from identification and giving overly importance to stuff.

@oMarcos

@Leo Gura Directly, through Being? Or also symbolically? Or am I creating an artificial duality between the two?

@outlandish Thanks for sharing, ordered it right away!

@Leo Gura well yeah, I guess im with you on that. But then again thats mostly just because I trust your views. And thats mostly because your reasoning makes sense to me. When I get out there and brave these kind of debates myself, I find it hard to evaluate whats true. Especially if reasoning flies out the window as well, what do I have left. I guess what Im starting to realize more and more is that I actually dont know shit ?

@Serotoninluv I dont have any of the evidence. What I mean is people like Stefan Malineux refering to evidence in general. so in this video for example, he is like: There is a correlation in iq tests.. bla bla. im like yup, yep sounds about right. then hes like, have had experts pro and con on my podcast. im like, oh, really? Thats open-minded. Then he talks about how he incourages viewers to send him counter-arguments. im like, oh, thats pretty self-reflective! Then, all of a sudden, I walk away thinking black people are worth less than white people. (Overexageration ofcourse).

@Serotoninluv That makes a lot of sense. For someone making an argument about genetic differences, there is talked very little about genes indeed lol. I find it hard to argue against these types of belief systems though that build up rational arguments and refer to evidence. I find it very hard to not get into black and white thinking, either fully accepting their frameworks, or fully ignoring and judging them. Especially when I am talking with friends about this stuff. its like building a tower one brick at a time. Every brick seems to lay pretty well on the one beneath, but then when you look at the whole tower its crooked as fuck ?

@Leo Gura Hmm, but in the video he says that it has been tested even when black kids are grown up in a white urban family, with the same culture and economic situation, their results on iq tests are lower than white kids in that same situation. Also, he says its reflected in their “physical” brain size. If these facts are accurate, which I dont know if they are, would that not undermine your argument? It could just be that different strands of people evolved differently, allowing them to tap into reality in different ways? If you would change my genes, or change my brain, that will also have a big impact on my experience and performance in the world, right? Ps. I’m playing the devils advocate here, I would usually defend your side of the argument.

@mandyjw Im sorry, but ive got no idea what you are getting at

I never heard of Stefan Molyneux before, so I decided to look him up. I watched about the first 15 minutes of this video, where he talks about the iq differences in races and how they explain the differences in societal outcomes, such as income, genetically rather than environmentally. now, I understand this to be a very difficult topic, and that there are a lot of assumptions brought to the table here, as well as a lot of interpretations of what consequences these scientific findings have. However, “the basic facts”, the observations, that people grouped on certain characteristics perform differently on a test, seems hard to argue with. And than if that test seems to be an accurate predictor of other outcomes.. is there than not a truth to the “genetical” explenation of differences in societal outcomes? Without than coming up with arguments what that means for society, isnt that accurate? I notice myself getting extremely confused as I think about this topic. Intuitively I feel like an ideology is being presented here. However, I cant see where it begins and ends, as I feel there is also a partial truth to it.

@Leo Gura survival for whom? Why? Is it necessary for there to be something that observes?