Identity

@roopepa Nope, but the same night this story happened. @Leo Gura Oke, thank you for putting the situation into context. Still, interesting to see how one of the most beloved members of the community who has helped many people on this forum has now been completely recontextualized. Wonder whether that says more about Nahm, or about the collective of this forum.

For a couple months this has been in the back of my mind. I want to take a next step in my health and fitness and feel like setting some kind of goal or challenge will help me with it. For some context, I’m a 26 year old guy. Have always been fit and still am decently fit. I take good care of my body, eat relatively healthy, do yoga, stretching, self-massage, a workout here and there. But I want something that is going to challenge my body. Feeling like being more in my physical prime. Perhaps also something that’s more masculine. I used to play soccer my whole life, did a bunch of weight lifting as well. What is that challenge? Marathon, triatlon, personal records in weight lifting, none of these really vibe with me. Training for a boxing match is the thing that sticks with me the most, yet I also don’t quite feel like bashing skulls in and would like for it to be something I can train for without to much focus on the technique or skill of a particular sport. also something quite different, but fasting has been on my mind as well. anyone that has ideas?

Oke, so the distinction between first order absolute truth and second order relative truth is pretty clear to me. first order absolute truth is being, direct experience , a merging of one’s sense of self with everything, becoming the field of awareness, god. second order is conceptual, the ego mind, a construction of concepts language, a limited explanation. I also grasp the collapse of these two; in the end the second order IS also the first order in this strange-loopy way. What I’m struggling with, is the relationship between the two. How does the second order try to grasp the first order? I see that it’s a sub-set, a limited part trying to grasp the infinite… but how can this have any resemblance at all? it appears that there can be ‘degrees of truthfulness’ or accuracy to the second order mind constructions. How is this the case and on what grounds does it depend? Leo mentions that ‘utility’ is not an accurate measurement for it. Yet utility appears to me to have at least something to do with it, right? I mean, one’s ability to manipulate means that at least something of the construction makes sense. It’s a step forward from constructions that don’t even ‘work’ right? what would it mean to have a second order construction that is as truthful as humanly possible? in a sense, this is what Leo is trying to do, right? Any and all episodes and communications happen at this second order level. Fingers pointing to the moon. What makes some of Leo’s second order work ‘more truthful’ than a teaching like Andrew Tate’s ? This kind of questioning is trippy, because it’s like going meta on second order understanding whilst still being in the domain of the second order, lol. oke, enough mindgames, let’s do some survival stuff ✌?

@Leo Gura Oeh, thank you. Am going to sit with that one for a while ??

https://www.creativeconsciousness.com/CoachingAcademy Just completed the in-person Dutch track of Creative Consciousness coaching program. Can highly recommend. Beyond gaining a lot of coaching skills, it helped me to take my personal development to the next level. The founder, Marc Steinberg, I hold in high regard. I would put him as a stage yellow/turquoise mystic who has the purpose to make love a worldwide reality. I was already coaching people before taking part, but now I feel that the impact I’m able to make is in a different ballpark.

Hmm yeah, I have more work to do on accepting reality as it is. starting off with myself. Fully loving and accepting who I am right now and where I stand. Then it will also be natural to do the same for the people around me. Then my encouragement to grow will be detached. Now there is still a certain needing to it, a certain rejection from where they are right now.

This is really a core challenge I’ve been facing over the last couple of years now that I think about it. Leo’s new video of love brought it to the surface. So… one key element of love is accepting things the way they are, seeing the beauty, without needing it to change. Then there is the side of vision, improvement, potential, growth. Encouraging something to be better. How can these two be united in a healthy way? Example; A good friend of mine has been going through some challenging times. Usually a super healthy guy, now picked up smoking. Now, what would it mean for me to love him? Because, yes, there is the side of embracing him, supporting him, understanding, listening, perhaps the more feminine side of love. But is there not also place for a more masculine type of love? Something like, cmon dude, I know you can do better than this. You have way more potential, get your ass off that couch. There is more I can share on this, but perhaps this is a good place to get a discussion going.

The first thing that comes to mind when reading this; You want to learn how to love… so you are going to invest your energy into business, to than in some unsure future come back to love? What if that story is just another sneaky way of your ego avoiding love? What if you would walk the direct path instead and let the light of love burn away your fears and limitations?

Around 8 months ago I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. After 1,5-2 years of a mixed back of beauty, connection, growth, suffering and dissatisfaction, it became clear that we were not compatible. Different values, life paths, desires, lifestyles. Bridging the gap through settling became increasingly painful. And so things ended. Ever since the relationship ended, it has been a path of discovery of what I truly want. Starting off with the vision to surround myself with five girls to experience abundance and gain confidence/healing in sexuality.. turned out to be exhausting. Dropping that idea and kind of letting happen what happen… To now having made the decision to open myself up to a deeper connection with a partner. Throughout this journey, one thing has stayed the same. I’ve been acting from a way higher standard of integrity then before. Integrity with my inner wisdom. Integrity with my standards. Integrity with honesty and truth. Integrity with what I know is right. For example: One girl who I had a short casual relationship with started to indicate she was looking for something monogamous. At that point I did not want to be monogamous with her. There was honest and open communication and I encouraged her to let our relationship go. A few dates in with a smoking hot girl, I started to see that if we were to enter any further, it would be the same dynamic as with my ex. It was basically the same situation as with my ex. Attraction, connection, but different values, mindset, life path. I decided not to text her again and delete her contact. One girl I saw met up with for two times, but found out a guy I semi knew had been dating her for a while. Long story short, I had the opportunity to go for it, but decided after communicating with him openly to not pursue it and give their situation a chance. There are a few more examples, but these illustrate the point well. All good, great, nice, good stuff. This was all good for a while, taking it slow and all that. However, now I’ve gotten to the point where I’m getting seriously thirsty. My body and soul are craving for connection. It’s becoming increasingly painful not to act on those desires. On top of this, I’ve been investing a lot of time and energy in my life purpose. Therefore it has been challenging to even create the space to pursue my desires. What triggered this post, is the fact that yesterday I went to an ecstatic dance. Great place to meet some stage green/yellow girls btw. Anyhow, there was this ridiculously beautiful girl who I ended up dancing and connecting with. Looking into her eyes was breathtaking… the presence, the radiance, the confidence. After we connected, I literally had to go lay down for 10 minutes to let my body process the energy. Now, 24 hours later, I can still feel her presence. So yeah.. here I am, young man thirsty for connection. Part of me believes that if I keep acting with integrity it will ‘pay off’. Then again, the cravings are getting stronger and they are starting to manifest also in moments of being down and lonely in a way they were not before. Just felt like writing about this, but am open to any advice.

Thank you all for your messages. Last weeks there has been a lot going on for me, therefore I haven’t had space to respond. I’ve read all posts and they have been helpful. @Ulax the meditation was interesting. Helped me to connect with the part in me that is protecting me from unleashing my sexuality. Will explore the relationship with that part more. Also, got a yoga nidra meditation qued up for when I go to bed in a bit. Also an update; went to another ecstatic dance last weekend and had a beautiful interaction with a girl there. We ended up spending the night as well. We resonated in a lot of ways, am curious to see what will come from this. Am creating the space to explore our connection further. I’m telling you guys, ecstatic dance is where it’s at ?

This sentence came to me about helping people to move from stage orange to green; ’convince people’s mind that it’s worth connect to their hearts’

@Razard86 Thank you, that resonates. Also, just filled out a spiral dynamics questionnaire for a certification I’m getting. It shows that I’m mostly in the ‘delta stage’ moving to a new way living. Mostly functioning from stage green/yellow. In terms of what I want in a relationship, dug up this old post: I want a girl that is seriously tasty. A girl who’s whole body and energy is radiating juicy femininity. I see some thick glossy lips. A booty that lends itself to be grabbed and slapped appropriately, nice and curvy. The look in her eyes is strong, confident, embodied, loving, giving. She has a lot to offer and is here to give, but she isn’t here to play around with bullshit. Her gaze looks right into my soul, because is she fully connected to hers. She allows herself to melt into surrender and love as I hold her. Her body is radiating pleasure. She is like a juicy peach that wants to be bitten into. Her heart is so open it scares me. She is so vulnerable and fearless. Love pours out through her arms as we hold eachother. I can feel it break down my own barriers as I match her love. It brings tears into my eyes to hold her. She is free, we are free. There are no expectation games, a need for the other to act in a certain way. Being together naturally emerges effortlessly and timelessly. The more practical questions you mention indeed get some gears turning. In a way they have been turning for a while. I want to attract a life partner, or at least someone who I could spend the next chapter of my life with. Probably monogamous, maaybe experimenting a bit with blurring the lines, but that would definitely bring up challenges. I’d like to have sex in a ‘conscious’ way. Experimenting with things like tantra, open communication, maybe BDSM type stuff. Definitely using sex as a practice for deep intimacy, healing, expansion from a safe space. Kids… maybe in 5-10 years.

@StarStruck Yeah, I’ve seen quite some video’s and read part of Robert Glover’s book on it. Perhaps something to dig in deeper, I’ll sit with it for a bit ??

@StarStruck Hmm, don’t like to hear that, but sounds like there is at least partial truth to it. ”you are tucking your dick between your legs” Pretty accurate. Sexuality in general is a topic I generally have more healing to do. There are some deep beliefs and patterns I adopted of hiding my sexuality and it’s poorly integrated in my overal personality. It’s more this shadowy sub-self that sometimes comes out to play. It’s like this untamed beast within me, that is usually locked in a cage. I’m not sure yet how to integrate it in a healthy way. I would like to explore and integrate that more in a safe space where there is room to be vulnerable. Have had plenty of interactions where I just ‘pushed through’ or played the part of standing in my sexual power, without actually standing in it. That’s exhausting and doesn’t bring me any further. It’s a bit of a bit of a catch 22. No sexual mastery —> no sex —> no practice —> no sexual mastery. Any suggestions?

Insights from this video; - feels like my heart is ‘open enough’. Always more work to be done.. but is not the main problem. - asking my higher self, immediately the words ‘CREATE SPACE’ came. This seems to be right from the rational mind as well.. to be honest there is next to no space in my life right now for a partner to enter. Have been working 6 days a week with the 7th day for deep rest. The one or two social events a week I have been going to are seeds being planted in a jungle.

@somegirl Thank you ?? @Leo Gura Yes, in a wierd way, consciousness actually makes less free. In the sense that some things just no longer become possible once you’ve seen through the dysfuction of it. Not as a belief, but as something you know. @SeaMonster Indeed! That’s advise my friend gave me as well, if you try to catch a certain type of fish, go to the right pond with the right bait. Regular daygame and nightgame has proven to not be a very effective pond to fish in. Only the occasional lost fish in between the mud. I’m also part of this hippy scene group chat, but even though its deeply stage green, it’s a bit too far outside of society for me. I want a girl that’s one foot in one foot out. Will be scouting more potential ponds ??‍♂️ Already bought a ticket for the next ecstatic dance with the same group. Beautiful energy there. Literally burst out laughing when I walked into the toom because it felt so good there.

@Bob Seeker hmm, at least have to be willing to lose everything.. Detached from any outcome. Am definitely not detached from any outcome at the moment ?

@somegirl I’m not sure if there is anything holding me back at the moment. There actually have not been many opportunities with potential partners that felt like a compatible match. The one connection at the ecstatic dance I was talking about, although deep and mesmerizing, was only a brief interaction. I don’t even know her name. After the interaction I haven’t seen her, not even on that night. Usually I’ve got my eye on the ball in a scenario like that.. but my intention for the night was ‘surrender into love’. After the dance I felt at peace and decided not to go looking for her but see what emerges. Kind of regret that now to be honest.

@somegirl I am open to something serious/relationship

Really enjoyed the podcast

Life will present you with the people and circumstances to reveal to you where you are not free - Peter Crone

Just saw this post on Instagram and figured it was a good discussion starter. my personal take; It is one of many perspectives. This way of looking at some of the new-age people and content that exist does have some validity to it. Although the people he is pointing to usually might have had some genuine insight or increased their awareness, that can easily used in unhealthy, unproductive ways and be co-opted by ego to be used as excuse and separation. That being said, this post and perspective is partial and feels to me as being packed with anger and judgement. Watching new-age content and hanging around with people who use the word awakening one too many times is quite enjoyable to me. I guess this new-age wave is one of the manifestations of stage green. Making sure to take care of survival and grounding in the ‘real-world’ first, seems like a good idea to me though. What are your thoughts on this post?

> Context for this post; Having received the results from my heavy metal urine test, I am looking into a wise continuation. In no way am I putting the responsibility on anyone to give me any definite answers. Any answers here will serve as additional input next to further research I will conduct myself. I am taking full responsibility for any potential action that I will take. On the day of the heavy metals video release, I decided to order a urine test kit. The results of this current test are without taking any supplements. A bottle of DMSA is on its way. The plan is to do another test with the DMSA as described in the video. The results of the first test are shown below. Because the results are in Dutch, there will be some highlighted notes and remarks on the bottom. These are the main things to note: Creatinine: Seems to be elevated. Arsenic: 8,8 mg/g creatine seems to be 'within range', but notable if we consider having any is undesirable. Cadmium: 0,16 mg/g creatine or 0,40 mg/L is notable. Kobalt: 0,39 mg/g creatine or 0,98 mg/L looks like being quite on the edge, especially in the mg/L measurement. Nikkel: With 3,84 mg/g creatine or 9,59 mg/L, the amount of Nikkel in my body looks quite serious. Important to note is that I am not experiencing any super clear symptoms. My skin is fine, I have no health issues that could be related to heavy metals. The only thing that I would consider a possible effect is my energy levels. I do feel like these are not always up to 100%, but that could also be caused by many other factors. My intention with sharing these results is to get some feedback from people that have tested themselves and/or have experimented with detoxing heavy metals. Based on this test, the next test with the DMSA and further research, I will decide whether trying chelation will be a worthwhile effort. Thank you for your time.

It sounds to me like you are in the early stages of making this into a successful method. That is, assuming that the method you are talking about actually works (which I have no clue about). Just from the way you are talking about it, sounds like you are experimenting with different target groups, approaches to the method, approaches to the teaching, etc. That is great. However, consider that having a successful technique/method that worked for you, is maybe 10% of the work of making it into a successful method that you can use as a business to help others. So the question then becomes, are you willing to keep walking this path without the certainty that it will pan out into something successful? Welcome to entrepreneurship ?

Yes agreed, he might have a point, but it seems to be a judgement ‘from below not from above’ so to speak.