seeking_brilliance

@Preetom ???? can't say enough thanks for that awesome description. So at least as a very basic exercise, I could just sit with the feeling of me in my head, not caring if it goes away or not, and eventually it may do so anyway because it will turn in on itself. Right? And if nothing else, I'm building concentration. And now I can see why I can literally do this anywhere, anytime, with zero effort

Wow, thank you for a very genuine post. I can only imagine being in a situation where you had to truly embrace death, but lived, how that could change you forever. As you say, you learned to embrace breath fully. I often go walking in a 90 acre park next to my house, and have had a few conversations with myself about what if I get bitten by a venemous snake or spider. At first just thinking about it would give rise to a sense of panic and anxiety, but consciously (ha!) calming my breath, I laid it out then and there that if it were to happen, and I don't make it to a hospital in time, I'd be OK with it. I'm not asking for it to happen, but it wouldn't bother me, except for the fact that I know there are others who would suffer a lot of pain over it. That's something I'm still struggling with. I also accepted death at the end of a somewhat bad trip, and years after have still noticed the effects this has had on my psychology and fear of death. How did you eventually overcome this fear of exiting that door, or was some kind of spell lifted? (just curious)

@Preetom ok, actually your method seems more complicated than just doing affirmations to convince subconscious, but then again, there's probably a reason the affirmations don't work as well like as you described. (I'm sure a combination of the affirmations and your proposed method couldnt hurt, and may be complimentary) But, OK let's say the I-feeling seems to be in head. I don't understand how to follow that somewhere. It just stays there. I can say, well it's not in my head because that's in my awareness, but the feeling doesn't move to another part in the body for me to follow. Just stays in head. So it doesn't feel like I'm getting anywhere. And I'm aware that the only reason it feels to be in the head is because it feels to be behind the eyes and between the ears, and where I hear thoughts, the the main senses, not including taste. But 'i' can't seem to break out of that feeling of being stuck in the head, with everything else that is felt in the body seems more like a peripheral.

Oh ok great well then I do do this throughout the day, reminding the thoughts that there's no thinker. Just didn't know if that was the point--to pretty much convince subconscious of this so that the thoughts that do arise might take on a less 'me-thought' nature.

Well I've had a glimpse or realization that was beyond just conceptualization but it's definitely not solidified in everyday consciousness. So I can see that self inquiry helps with that

I just don't understand the point in doing it when you already have seen that the answer is no one. Is it just to solidify this in subconscious or is there really some secret answer we are supposed to find?

Who's listening to who? Isn't this just a story being played out with no one behind the wheels? Who gives a crap if people want to listen to what he says. Literally who? Everything will play out exactly as it should, including your objections to this thread.

I guess it depends on your definition of ego. If you say the body is the ego, then in that context yes the "ego" would experience thoughts about feeling pain. Thats all pain is, is the thought about it, influenced by the nerve receptors that were signaled on a particular location of the body. But there are other definitions of ego, like the defense mechanisms the mind creates by means of evolution to protect itself. This would be more of a mind type thing, and the mind itself is a concept. You can't say, well it's in the brain, because you simply have no idea if that is where it is. You don't even know if you are operating from the brain, it just feels like it because you feel like you're 'up there' behind the eyes and between the ears. Then there's the thing that there is no 'you' to have a ego. You don't exist, there just seem to be thoughts about your existence. These will come and go, and change subtly and very drastically, all within about 5 seconds ( made that up). That's just to show how subtly and dramatically it will change in the course of 5 years. Or 10. Or 20. And that's all they do, they just evolve the story of you. One day, you might begin to notice that if you search for yourself, there will be nothing that exists in between the thoughts of yourself. Nothing to grab hold of and say, yeah, that's me. (talking about your current understanding of me). The one thinking these thoughts about myself. And then you may realize that the only thing that exists (in Maya) are thoughts about myself. You may still be utterly confused about where these thoughts of a self are coming from, but then again you may just not care anymore. Then you just let yourself enjoy them, no matter how they arise. And hopefully you will begin to forgive the thoughts for abusing you all these years, because it's not 'your' fault, because there is no you. They're not 'your' thoughts, they just appear exactly as they appear. Then you see that even the thoughts aren't too blame, because they have no control over how they appear. So they never abused you at all. And then there's the definition which Nahm gave, which seems to be the most used one on this site and refers to the dumbing down of infinity to experience finity.

@SoonHei thank you, that was pretty cool. So similar to becoming lucid in a dream.

@Mikael89 because it's a label we give trying to explain a certain nature of thoughts. These thoughts in particular are ones that seem to be protecting us from something that most likely doesn't need protection. We slap a label on that and call it ego, giving it one word to go by instead of having to repeat everything I just typed about it every time we want to discuss this phenomenon. However, there is no ego. You can't hold it. Can't see it. Can't hear it. You can only have thoughts about it. It is not an object, it is a concept. And concepts aren't real, they only point to something.

@winterknight is karma just cause and effect? I see cause and effect being like the clockwork of Maya. Seems to propel evolution. Not sure what we are evolving into, or why, or if it even matters. Wait... I can't evolve, can I? There is no I. And no Maya... But there seems to be a really cool movie on about it, and somehow it seems that I'm tuning in. (sorry for rambling, it's so exciting to have someone to talk to that has promised to answer all my silly questions?.... I promise not to take too much advantage of it? ??? you know the drill: please point out my errors)

Are you thinking right now? That's the question.

@herghly if you set a strong intention to remember your dreams, it will happen. Do this : Before you lie down, write in your notebook "I will wake up from my dream and remember it." write it 10 times if you want. Really feel that it will happen, and as you write it, visualize yourself actually waking up from a dream, remembering it, and writing it down. Yes, even if it happens at 1am. Then, lie down and go to sleep. As you drift off, repeat in your head like a mantra the same phrase you wrote in your notebook "I will wake up from my dream and remember it". Say it as many times as you can.... If you can drift off to sleep while doing it then great! But if not it will still work. Just repeat it like 20 times while visualizing that it will happen, and then roll over and go to sleep.. Doing this you will have a high chance of waking up in the middle of the night and remembering at least a portion of the dream you just awoke from. Write this down! The problem is, if this doesn't work the first night or so, people get discouraged and give up. Don't do that. It will work! Now, after you have woken up and written down your dream, as you drift back asleep, your new mantra will be "the next time I am dreaming, I will remember I am dreaming" this will help to spontaneously induce lucidity in your next few dreams. I also like the phrase "the next thing I see will be a dream" I personally have an iPad with a keyboard on it for easy writing down dreams in the dark.

@winterknight @winterknight is there an observation taking place (independent of a self) or only thoughts of an observation? To give up observing seems impossible, even when aknowliging that there is no I to observe. Self inquiry has proven difficult to grasp, because I find it hard to identify with this feeling of 'me'. I'm just so used to it I guess, I can't really point to it. But for the most part it feels like this 'I' operates from the head, behind the eyes. I am so open to believing this is not the case, especially because there is no I to operate. So this is what I am to focus on and question? It doesn't really feel like me, it just feels like where I hear thoughts and see surroundings. The problem is I can't really seem to pinpoint the feeling of me enough to question it, even though this (arbitrary) life is lived very much from the viewpoint of "me", even after seeing through the lie of it. Hmm... Well even though I feel "stuck in my head", when body sensation arise, I feel them as me for sure, like when the tummy is gurgling or heart beating fast. So these I can question as 'me' and realize they cannot be me, they are in awareness only, right?

@winterknight would the mantra/affirmation "just observe" be good for letting go, or does this falsely imply an observer?

When I get lucid, one of my favorite things to do is find a random dream character to engage conversation with, ask pre-selected questions, or just to see what random things they may respond with. Their answers range from hilarious to downright creepy. As if sometimes they don't want to be engaged, and sometimes you find a real talker. Sometimes they become withdrawn and irritated, and sometimes they are very exuberant and open. Kind of sounds like Samuel in real life, but that's not where this post is going... There are different experiments you can do while engaging in conversation with dream characters: Using it as direct communication with your subconscious, asking questions that may be revealing to certain topic you are working on in personal development. Play around with their sense of existence. This one is very intriguing to me, because often times when pointing out that this is just a dream, or that this is not real, many dream characters lash out and assure you that it is. There are cases of dream characters saying things like, "I'm dreaming you." But these are less common, from what I have read. I have personally experienced the Angst when revealing the illusion to a dream character, and I have also had others agree with me that it is a dream. One thing I struggle with is do my dream characters, my creations(as I assume them to be) , truly think they are real? Or is it just a bunch of false memories implanted into them when needed. Just to laugh and see what wacky and sometimes creepy things your sub conscious may spit out at you when asking dream characters a particular question. I have also noticed that I have no inhibitions to go up to any dream character, sometimes even imposing on their personal space, and engage them in conversation. Yet when awake (whatever that means), I am socially awkward and have to force myself. The reason I bring this up is because for the last few days, I've considered if I would go up to a random person in this world, and ask them some random question just to see what random answer might come out. Asking something in either reality seems closely similar, in regards to how random or not- random the responses are, if all is truly one(zero, whatever). But I can't bring myself to do it, just yet. Perhaps it's ego holding me back or some other force I have yet to realize. Would love to hear any accounts of speaking to dream characters and the responses. Unfortunately Samuel doesn't keep a good dream journal, so I'll have to remember or try to find one already written, or just wait till my next lucid dream. I'll keep ya'll updated...

@Dodo actually I feel anxiety quite often in dreams, but only when I don't know I'm dreaming and still identify with the story. ..... Hmm sounds familiar to something....

Last night, I partially woke up and then back to sleep... Next thing I knew I was sitting on a couch with my brother and my mom was on another couch across the room. She didn't believe I was dreaming, so I asked her what her birthday is (Aug 17). She replied Incorrectly (June 20), but out of curiosity, I wondered if she knew my brother's and my birthdays, which she both answered correctly. Then she incorrectly answered my dad's birthday.

Funny this happened last night. I was also in a semi lucid dream (which lost lucidity) and was going to take a shower and started hearing my poem voice speaking to me out of the bathtub. It was cool at first, but then turned creepy, so I went to get my dad and sure enough he heard the voices too. So not angelic voices but still kind of similar. Um... I wouldn't give too much credit to angels unless you acknowledge that it is still within Maya and nothing within Maya is real.

@winterknight after full realization, could you see yourself running a business in the service industry or would it be to difficult to stay in character for 8-10 hours a day?

Perfect! I love that answer so much. Ok so it seems my two top things to do (in context of being the Seeker) is to calm the mind through psychoanalysis, and then self inquiry to solidify in mind that which I truly am, which is beyond story, only to find that this was the case all along. Bring it on!

@winterknight well thanks for humoring me, that was actually the answer I was looking for. And also... Funny thing, I'm exactly the type to ask how old a building in a dream was, knowing that any answer isn't necessarily true, but it does provide context to the story. I never knew if what we call enlightenment is when one stops identifying as the thinker, or if that is the beginning of the journey. So you seem worried that your answer will hinder growth, but that's this is actually great news to hear.

@Serotoninluv I have. I don't stick with it though, and you're supposed to do it religiously. I learned a really good one though. Which is every time you see the sky, you do a RC,which for me is to count my fingers. That way every time you see a sky in a dream, you are likely to do a reality check and realize you are dreaming. Well this worked the first or second night, but I didn't become lucid. There was a dream character who asked to be called lord skye, and he even spelled out the name for me, but I never put two and two together. As soon as I awoke and reviewed the dream did I laugh and slap myself for not getting it. They say Mild is the best method and works often for me. You say a mantra that the next thing you see will be a dream, or something similar to that phrase. Works good with wearing an eye mask so that truly the next thing you see will be a dream. Other times I just spontaneously realize and I'm sure it's a combination of the practices and just really strong desire.

@winterknight Oh yes, I get that for sure. I was more interested in the mind's point of view, as that is more relative to this one over here (which I know technically there is no here or there). When did @winterknight 's mind stop believing it was the thinker of thoughts? I just am trying to figure out if the realization comes early, but it may take so and so years to actually stop identifying, and if this is what self-inquiry is for.

@winterknight at what point in your seeking did you stop identifying as the thinker?