Wisebaxter

@James123 That's awesome dude, and very helpful, thank you. So being aware of the body grounds you in your present moment experience. And you just remain as that thing which is aware, not the object itself. If something enters my awareness, like a thought, i.e an object, I can get lost in it. Then I have a sensation of 'remembering I'm supposed to be doing something. This encourages the idea of a separate me almost, that's 'doing something.' Should I just let that sensation and thought go and just 'be' again? @Hugo Oliveira Like you i'm curious about what eventually flip-flops. Seems like it can't be explained with words though and if we're thinking about it or try to 'know' what it's like we're missing it somehow. I may stick to psychedelics haha. I'm wondering right now if they're the best tool like Leo says. I did just start a thread asking that

Thanks So you're saying, just focus on the sense of 'I am,' with no other thoughts present. Is it ok to have that question 'what is that?' keep coming up, if it helps? Maybe it helps you keep focus.

@Nahm That's where I always get tripped up, thinking I've got it because I've figured it out intellectually. Then I realise I'm just stuck in another idea @Preetom So you mean it's about getting rid of the 'I thought' as Ramana Maharshi called it? That seems right to me. I still have an innate sense that there is something there called 'me.'

@freeman194673 I heard Adyashanti say, Find the eye within the storm, where all is calm. Locate that place in your body. It's your true nature. Basically, it's just relaxation and it's always available. Your nervous system is just used to being overstimulated. I like to play a game called 'becoming a sage,' where I imagine how an enlightened master would feel right now. Like you're playing a part. Then you realise you can create this experience whenever you like, and it's liberating. You will slip back of course. It's an old favourite, but resting as breath always works. The reason being, the breath is your true nature, seeing as it's always present. Mind is just an experience breath is having. These are great videos for stress. The first one is all about finding relaxation. You may not agree with what I said about the breath, but if you entertain it as an idea, you can achieve some interesting results. The breath is always nourishing. It also has the answer to any question the mind can pose, which is always, just another breath. Ask a question, then notice how the breath answers. All hail the awesomeness that is Matt Kahn haha. With his softer, more feminine approach, and Leo's more masculine approach, you have the the perfect combo for enlightenment. As for the porn thing. When you get the craving, find the area in your body where the lust takes place. It will be in the Sacral Chakra, around the groinal area. Take some nice breaths and with each out breath imagine an orange coloured light emanating outwards from this area, out into the universe and onwards towards infinity. Feel the energy slowly dissipating and the blood flowing back to other parts of your body. A great sense of calm will calm over you, of equilibrium being restored. Read up on how to balance this chakra. Get some crystals. Orange lights. Treat yourself gently. Take baths and direct love and tenderness towards this area. Mindfulness will be needed firstly, to examine the sensation before you react. Create an association in your mind between feeling the sensation and then allowing it to dissipate. If you really need sexual stimulation and release though, which is fine and healthy really, get a fleshlight and bang that without watching porn. Imagine it's your soul mate you're pounding Those things are amazing. Get an anal prostate massager too. Get in touch with you sensuality through exploration again and getting to know your body in new ways haha. Porn has fucked our imaginations. Create a romantic evening in your head, or your wildest fantasy. I'd say go for romance as it will directly counteract the detached nature of porn and get you interested in a woman's mind again. I'm about to start doing all of this myself so I'm working it out as I write. It's exactly what i need to do. I think you can jerk it as much as you like, go for it, it's just porn that I think can cause other kinds of issues. Make masturbation into a real act of self-love Here's one more thing you could try. Open your mind up to the possibility you don't even have a problem. That's just the experience you're programmed to have. What if you celebrated every time you watched porn as a celebration of beauty and purity? Set that intention, see what happens. First notice the resistance. My point is, believing you have a problem and that you're an addict, perpetuates the behaviour. Not only does it do that, but it leads to you suffering. Resistance is a tough thing to live with. Sometimes these parts of us want to be accepted and loved, integrated back to the light they've been separated from. Seen as that light. Don't feel shameful. You're God having that experience for a reason, to aid your evolution. To lead you to the realisation that everything you experience is perfection. Take away all that guilt and shame by loving it when it arises. Show it compassion. See the beauty of God on the screen as you watch that creampie happening You might find that treating yourself this way will ease some of the compulsiveness. At the very least it will lead to a nicer experience. It also blows your mind when you realise how powerful intention setting is.

@Elton Good on you for making it happen pal. I'm still not able to kick the weed. I've just accepted it really, which eases the stress.

@Nahm I read 'Ask and it is Given' and thought it was great. I still haven't gotten around to trying out the practices though. I stumbled upon Matt Kahn shortly afterwards and have been in an intense love affair with him ever since I'll certainly dive back into Ester then at some point, having heard this from you. I've only scratched the surface.

@NahmAre you kidding around about Ester? I wasn't too sure. I've found some of her teachings helpful but I haven't delved that deep. I'm pretty much turned off to Law Attraction stuff nowadays. Not that I ever gave it much of a go. Always seemed a bit counter productive to imply that the present moment isn't already perfection. I'm 99% sure you're kidding. Is it the LOA stuff you don't like? Or the channelling?

Of all the teachers I've come across, which isn't a huge amount admittedly, Matt Kahn seems to have the deepest wisdom, which just flows out of him. I often find myself wondering 'how does the fucker know so much?' It's almost inhuman. Ok, so knowledge is mind based, but the effect that Matt's words have on me is instantaneous, on a deeper level than just the mind. I can feel my whole being just light up and start to buzz. He does the whole transference thing and these 'repeat after me's' which feel like they're clearing bullshit out of my system. I've had a shift in consciousness since finding him and devouring his teachings about five months ago. His approach of choosing love as the answer to everything just works for me. It's cut down on all my spiritual busy work massively and put an end to the neurosis surrounding it. His shit just.... Works. His approach to me, is the closest thing I've come across to how I'd imagine Jesus rolled. Ultimately though, something tells me it's down to the individual, where their consciousness is at, their particular issues. I needed Matt's gentle, feminine, loving approach to help me work on my big ass shadow. Really, Matt Kahn is a beast when it comes to shadow work. That's pretty much the core of it. I also like the way he's careful with the language he uses to talk about the ego. There seems to be a tendency to demonise the ego in a lot of circles, so you walk around scared of your own shadow and not seeing it as an aspect of divinity. He says it's just your wounded, neglected inner child that needs love in order to feel safe again. So far, treating my pain that way has been very healing for me. It helps you to welcome it with loving arms. He says that this new feminine, heart centred approach is needed to balance out and compliment the older, more masculine teachings. So it's merging wisdom with love. He's funny as hell as well. Oh and apparently when he was born he shocked doctors by spontaneously adopting the Cobra pose! Hahaha. In yoga it represents a willingness to transcend the materials realms. I did piss myseld laughing when I heard that. Not sure how true it is of course. Watch the first 10 seconds of this clip where its mentioned:

@zeroISinfinity Messiah mode. Fuck yeah dude. I do a practice called 'becoming a sage.' I basically sit there and visualise what it would be like to be an enlightened master. This deep sense of peace and relaxation washes over me. A knowing smile starts to appear on my face. I swear that if you did this every day it would actually be a powerful tool for awakening. It's like you're identifying with the light, with God. You're moving yourself into that vibration and coming out of a sense of seperation and lack. It's badass. I'm gonna change the name of the practice to Messiah mode. I prefer that.

@Aquarius What would be your ideal scenario here. What are you looking for with this online dating, ultimately?

@lukej Dude this is awesome and just what I needed to read. Scarily so. Thanks

@Raptorsin7 What does your heart say bro? What feels good in your body? Not your Johnson, we know what that will say, but what feels like the loving option? What would love do? If you loved this person as another human and loved yourself fully? If you were preventing the most amount of suffering. Again, use your body as an indicator. The answer you come up with may not be the easiest one, that's the challenge. But it will ultimately make you feel better than anything else

@ajasatya My experience is different. I've met both of my last two girlfriends on dating apps and they've been amazing people. I met my current girlfriend on an app and we're so well suited, both into spirituality. She even watches Leo! OK Cupid isn't the best one, admittedly. Some are better than others and have less of the riff raff on there. I love Bumble, if you can get that where you are. Do what Leo said, take it easy, use your intuition. It sounds like you did want sex, but then you ended up feeling guilty and used. Perhaps you should be looking for a casual partner then, but ones that's a bit more up together and fun to be around.

Butt plugs! No seriously, do what @JustThinkingAloud said, get yourself some badass toys and play around. Your drive is waning as it's becoming too uniform. Push the boundaries a bit, go on some kind of BDSM odyssey, something like that. Get kinky. Start doing some role play, some power play stuff. Have her be the boss for a day and order you around. That might drive you wild, it does me. This is an aquired taste though. My point is, experiment. There could be shit that you don't even know about your own sexuality, if you wanna go there. Maybe get into some watersports. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable either. If you want her to bend you over and find your prostate, do it. Most women I've been with love doing that. The tough thing will be, changing the dynamic like that when you know each other too well. You'll both be laughing hard at first, which is fine. It'll take time, persevere. Tantric sex? That's a good way forward. Crazy slow build ups, deeper orgasms, a plethora of different sensations.

I understand that thoughts themselves are comprised of awareness, but can you ever get to a stage where you can maintain a conscious awareness of the fact that you're thinking? I'm thinking in specific about meditation, or self enquiry, where you're trying to observe your observation when all of a sudden you snap out of a train of thought in which you were just completely lost, almost like a dream. In a way, you were actually back there in that place, the memory etc and you lose all awareness of your surroundings. I find this jarring and very frustrating. I can remain aware of awareness if I hear a sound, or feel a sensation, but thinking is completely seductive. I just can't see the damn things arriving. It's like they're little stealthy thought ninjas I never see coming. Can we ever get to a stage, through meditation, where we can stop awareness being obscured by a thought, where we can consciously watch them rising up? I can't stand getting sucked into these damn stories all the time.

@GromHellScream Oh so it is kind of possible, that's good to know. I did some research on the topic last night. Adyashanti says you get to a stage where the recognition of a thought occurs almost at the same time as the thought, but even he has what he refers to as 'sticky thoughts' every now and again, that he may get briefly lost in. Rupert Spira made an interesting point. He said that there is no difference between a thought you're lost in and one that says 'I'm aware of thinking.' Both of them are still just thoughts. A thought that says 'I'm aware of thinking' is still just another thought. The substance of the object is still the same, that of a thought, just the content is different. Also, I can't see how you could be having a thought that says 'I'm aware of this' and another, more normal one, say of doing the dishes. Really, the two couldn't exist simultaneously right? It would be like having two thoughts at the same time. Perhaps for a thought to even arise at all, a lack of awareness of is a prerequisite. Because, I've noticed, when I sit there waiting for a thought to arise, nothing happens, until I lose awareness. Again, this could be because two thoughts just can't exist at once. We always perceive them as hapenning in a linear fashion I like that quote from David Hawkins. Perhaps the best we can do learn to become aware of thoughts really quickly. If we were able to watch them arise, we would never have to have an unwanted thought again. Catch the paragraphs before they turn into stories. Well said. As for quitting jerking, that really makes a difference eh? Interesting. I'll give it a go. My balls ache after a couple of weeks of nofap though. Do you get that issue?

@Wisebaxter @inFlow Just watched the video you liked. Very inspiring. I'm ready to quit now. The microdosing has perhaps given me some deeper insight into the habit and I'm doing things more consciously, but that could be the meditation. @nightrider1435 Definately the ego mind lying to me, I see that now. This drug does nothing for me anymore. Time to stop the self Deception and face the exciting challenge ahead

Hey guys, does anyone have any experience with this, or think it may be a good way forward? I've been hopelessly addicted to weed for 20 years now and it's holding me back in life big time. I'm off of it currently but I know it's only a matter of time before the cravings kick in again. I read this somewhere: “addiction begins with an inability to connect to a sense of meaning, value, and purpose in life and in oneself. Compulsive drug use then occurs as a form of escape from the pain associated with the experience of living. In other words, addiction is not a pharmacological condition; it is an existential condition with pharmacological consequences.“ This is definately true of my weed addiction. So, if psychs can help me dissolve my ego and feel more connected, perhaps it could work...not to mention the fact that I'll feel so damn good anyway so I won't seek out that pleasure from weed. I'm a big pleasure seeker you see. I love having a buzz. I also use weed for creative inspiration when it comes to my art, so without it I'm feeling quite lost in that department. I've heard psychs can be helpful here too. I'm going to try it next month anyway with LSD I think, so I'll let you know how it goes. I wonder if mushrooms would be better though...

@nightrider1435 Yeah that's a very good point. Well the cold turkey approach hasn't worked for me so far and it just seems to create more stress and neuroticism than actually smoking as I'm always thinking about pot, dreaming about it, counting days I've been off if it. Then there's the boredom and the frustration that comes back. And it stays for months as well. As for why I want to give up, it's the effect it has on my diet, the association with gaming (so I waste loads of time) and the occasional panic attacks. But right now I'm aiming to accept and love all of this and see what happens. I definately feel calmer. I honestly think right now that learning to live with it is going to be easier than quitting y'know? It takes up too much energy and I've been trying for longer than I'd dare to say out loud. Something about this approach feels better in my body, kinder almost. It's not a hardcore drug or anything and isn't going to kill me. It really helps with creativity too.

Ok, here's a report for microdosing for weed addiction. It doesn't work with the actual cravings or quitting directly but it helps you make peace with it as you're in such a good, positive state and therefore I've been enjoying smoking weed more thanks mushrooms. What an unexpected gift. I'm no longer a self loathing pot head, just a plain pot head lol. Is it even an addiction if it doesn't negatively impact your life? Just a fun past time. If I can accept the things it stops me doing then that could be interesting. I might focus more on what it does do for me. I'm going to wait and see if it reduces the amount I smoke though. I have a feeling that making peace with something is a good route to go down as feeling guilty and regretful might make it worse.

@inFlow Thanks for the video dude, I appreciate that. I've made peace with smoking it for the moment and that seems to be almost helping me to smoke it less. It might be the counter intuitive thing that works, as I've tried the fighting approach and it's never fully worked. Worst case scenario is I keep on smoking it and just enjoy it combining it with microdoses of mushrooms seems to be helping too. Just about finding the right blend I think

Bro, what about if you took a break from the forum, if the argumentative folk are getting you down? I know you're a fan of Matt Kahn's. I think he'd advise you to just bless them. They're probably only negating you because they've been negated their whole lives, largely by themselves. Walk away and don't bother, I would. I hate to think of a good guy like you being pulled into wasting your time with people who haven't integrated their egos properly. That seems to me to be the thing with Zen Devils. Too much negating of their egos and then projecting all that hatred and frustration they have for themselves (i.e their shadows) out onto others.

I've researched this now and there is evidence to suggest that microdosing can help with addiction. So I'm looking forward to conducting this experiment next month.

Thanks for that. There's a lot to contemplate there. Made me laugh too, considering that God has indeed incarnated as a pot head. However, I know that weed is no good for me personally. For some others maybe, others who may be able to limit their intake etc. I can't. I know that from experience. Right and wrong may be relative notions and what I'm doing may be better than working for a soulless corporation, but it's still causing me a lot of suffering and I want it to end. I'm so much happier when I'm not smoking it. I'm healthier, I eat better, sleep better, have more money, I can socialise, I don't look like a pasty fuck. I have God awful panic attacks on the stuff too. Plus I remember Leo saying you can't become enlightened with an addiction, so fuck this, y'know?

@d0ornokey That's an amazing statistic isn't it, 88‰. My weed habit just hasn't shifted though, even with a few LSD trips. Mind you I've never had ego death on it. Perhaps that's the issue. Have done a lot of shadow work recently though so I'm hopeful for next time. I've been working on integrating my ego more, making it feel safe and not negging it so much. Matt Kahn's stuff has worked wonders for that. So interested to see what happens on my next trip. Thanks for the link, I just took a look and some of those reports are very encouraging. To think that this stuff is still unavailable to most. What a crime. Thank God for the Dark Web, that's what I say