Wisebaxter

@Serotoninluv Well that's what I'll do then. Problem is I live with a bunch of people, my girlfriend and two of her tenants as well as six frigging cats that I'm sure will freak me out if I'm tripping. I've never done any psychedelics before you see. I could shut myself in my office but I'd have to come out for food. Unless I stock up in there. I was thinking of pretending I'm sick over Christmas and tripping on Christmas Day as everyone will be going home to see their families. But then I might get a major guilt attack because I'm not with my family and start sobbing or something lol. Anyway I'll figure it out.

@Leo Gura Ah cool, thanks for clarifying Leo. I'll grab myself some AL-LAD and get cracking with it then. Remember you saying it was a good starter substance. I've been stalling on it a bit because I was worried I had some unconscious baggage that might come up during the trip, but it's nothing too major, just some failed relationships, some resentment towards my parents for making their love unconditional, the usual shit. I'm knocking out a bit of shadow work right now so that should take the edge off

@aurum Ok dude, so there's my answer...I'll just keep following the footprints diligently and with faith.

Ah thanks for saying that man, I really appreciate it. It's nice to get that kind of encouragement as I'm quite a hermit and don't speak to many people to get feedback. You've made my day there. Uncanny you should mention negative feelings. This has been an issue for me over the past week. Have been getting bad cravings for weed again. I gave up a 20 year habit 4 months back and haven't wanted it until recently. But I'm gonna power through it with the strength of my self-actualizing vision. Plus I know the cravings are an illusion anyway just based on images in my head, words and feelings. Pure awareness is always perfect so I'll just reside in that. Thanks again bro

@Sahil Pandit Cool man, I sure hope so I totally feel like I'm gaining ground on the Ox, like there's something divine happening. I Recently gave up on the notion of free will too and that seemed to shift my consciousness even more and I felt a load more weight just 'shift.' I now get this sense that I'm closer to my true nature. Yeah actually my schedule couldn't be better. I'm not working at present so I have all day to myself to do whatever I like. This has helped me massively. At the moment I'm reading mainly turquoise books, going to the gym every day and doing 40mins of meditation, 30mins of visualisation and various other practices I got from Leo's videos, like practicing 'being cognition,' noting self deception mechanisms, stuff like that. But I have this sense that I need to start some hardcore self enquiry and contemplation, perhaps some psychedelics (although I wanted to do more personal development first). I'm reading a book on shadow work at the moment though which is amazing, but still, I need something that's gonna take me deeper...maybe more meditation too...but you're saying that the best way would be to just sit and be conscious of my surroundings? This is a good method huh? Oh yeah I'm doing a bit of life purpose stuff too, music production

@Sahil Pandit Yeah interesting you should say that as iI'm just watching an Adyashanti video and he's saying you just have to give up wanting and surrender. Give up trying to get it with your mind and feel it with your heart. I'm always trying to grasp something with my mind, to achieve some kind of 'state.' It's funny though as my life did get drastically re-contexualized after I read the Power of Now. I just came fully into the moment, stopped suffering almost completely. I let go of all my desires. It felt like some kind of awakening. I think I just have to let go even more though as the desires are still there under the surface and I still feel this need to be 'doing' all of the time and chasing my life purpose. I still worry that I won't amount to anything. I just wish I could have an experience, like some kind of big event to fire me up and get me even more motivated. Not that I'll ever stop the practices anyway as they've already benefited me to much, even with a mystical experience.

@tenta I like this answer. It makes me feel like I don't have to go and dick around with Orange any more. But I have a bad feeling it just appeals to my sense of weakness and laziness, and to my misconception that Green is somehow better so I'm above Orange. The more I think about it the more I know, deep down, that I need to go back to Orange and do it properly, in my own way

@non_nothing Lol is that you dad? No seriously you got me over a barrel, you know me too well. I'm an ungrateful snivelling little wretch stuck in ego, concept land. I did do that care job for approval as I felt like I was a worthless son of a bitch and it made me feel better about myself. Hey, I still feel good about doing it though So, I'm just trying to summarise your actual 'advice' aside from all the brutal 'home truths' and ass kickings. You're saying to man the fuck up and go and nail orange? Thanks for pointing out that I was assuming higher stages were somehow better than lower ones. I was falling into a classic trap there. Thanks for taking the time for write all of that too and helping me out

@Jack River Yeah I really loved it. Tolle was able to get across the essence of his work really succinctly and neatly. King just allowed him to speak without interrupting him or giving his two cents every few seconds like some interviewers do. This is the first time I've seen King actually.

@Jack River Very good point. King did seem to be without ego. I think we may be projecting.

@Joseph Maynor It could be that unconsciously Larry was a little bit intimidated by Tolle's legendary status and wisdom and went into 'aloof mode' to compensate

LOL

@Serotoninluv Forgot to say, thank you for this great explanation RE the process of shifting stages

@Nahm If we're one and the same how can you be Maya? Is this some kind of paradox?

@aurum Very good point there. Leo mentioned recently that money is just one more area to master in life, but due to the hang ups that you mentioned I'm having trouble with it. A big part of it is I feel I'm going to have to spend time doing stuff I don't want to do to make progress, whereas I've gotten very used to have so much free time. This might not be true though, if I just hammer at the life purpose and monetise that - could take a while though. I have a book from Leo's book list that will help me to change the way I look at money, so that should help. You're so right, it's all about getting rid of these hang ups. @electroBeam Yeah man, again this comes back to what Nahm said about inner game I think, learning to stop judging and letting my past define me. Interesting point that just learning some Orange skills alone won't solve the problem. @Nahm I'm reading a book on shadow work at the moment and doing the exercises, but a part of me still worries that I'm just digging these things up and cementing them in my mind by looking at them. Another part of me is inclined to follow your other advise and just focus on the future, but I'll see where this leads for now. Oh yes, I've definitely become aware recently that I'm addicted to certain lines of thought, but meditation is helping me to detach from thoughts in general and I'm going to use your great advise and focus on more empowering 'facts,' such as embracing what I truly am now, instead of a story about myself based on lies. @Space Very good observation here, I'm certainly missing that integration of other stages from my Yellow-ness. Ok Maybe I'm not balls deep - half a shaft perhaps I'm going to contemplate on your advice here because I think it's very astute. This was kind of my thinking when I created the thread, that I'd have to go back and integrate properly. I have some bigger picture thinking happening but I'm crap with money and to be honest even my Green is lacking...I'm quite emotionally immature and don't think enough about environmental issues.

@Nahm Dude that was amazing, you're a legend. So what you're saying is I need to just see these beliefs for what they they are, just repeated thoughts...strip all that away and get in touch with the fact that I already am everything I need to be. You're words are very relevant to me at the moment as this last couple of months I've been going through a process of stepping aside so let the universe guide me. Watching Leo's video on 'having no free will' really helped something to click for me and ever since then I've been seeing signs everywhere I look, that the real goal is to stop resisting, to realise my true nature as perfection and to just bask in gratitude and love. Your post is another addition to this collection of messages from the divine. Hell yes, my dad was always obsessing about money, telling me how hard it is to make and communicating that our bank balance defines our worth. He stressed me out about it so much that I went into lockdown. But enough of the victim mentality. That was in the past. “I’m done with the past, it’s gone, I have everything I need to love myself right now, and anyone and everyone I cross paths with too.” Yeah that felt good to say. That's a powerful mantra right there. Ah I see what you're getting at - focus on the positive version of what I said. Love is the opposite of fear, so if I focus on that it's better than focusing on 'being without fear.' That's still a fear based approach. YES! I don't want to resist what is, I don't want to always be stuck in the perception that there's something lacking, something that I need to add to myself, when I'm perfect already. I want to stop controlling and fighting life. I want to take action in the moment, with effortless effort, whether its making music, strategising for the future, whatever. With your post you nicely summed up where I've arrived at recently in my life (uncanny) and given me a jolt to make me realise that by making statements such as 'I can't do this, I can't do that,' or 'I need this,' I'm living within my old illusory identity and not as my true self, which is divine perfection. I'm going to manifest what the universe wants me to manifest and follow the path I'm on, reading through Leo's booklist, meditating, visualisation, all the stuff you mentioned, each morning Thanks for your help brother

@Serotoninluv I see, so what do we take from Orange that's positive? Critical or strategic thinking perhaps?

@Nahm To self-actualise. To live without fear. To master all areas of my life, Health, Life-Purpose, Money, Spirituality (enlightenment) and relationships. At the moment there are still areas where I have fears and unhealthy beliefs, namely money and relationships. I feel like I can't make money and at present I'm not financially dependent, I rely on the taxpayers money to survive and I can't buy what I need (new clothes) or what I want (psychedelics, solo retreats, travel). It gets me down a bit as although I'm on this amazing journey of spirituality and truth seeking I feel life is also about having fun experiences and adventures, seeing exotic places and engaging the senses. I'm also scared to have relationships with people as the responsibility feels like too much and I don't find socialising particularly enjoyable (maybe because I need some yellow/turquoise friends). So basically Nahm I just want to be a well rounded individual who can use forms with no hang ups and operate efficiently within the dream, to experience the dream fully as well as the infinite. That and a haircut wouldn't go amiss Having written all of that I think I can see the problem. It's all me me me isn't it. All about self gratification. I didn't write 'to help others, to love everything as much as I can, to lift others up through the spiral and make the world a better place.' I think perhaps I should focus some visualisations on becoming more self sacrificing, this is the only way to receive true abundance in all areas anyway. Let's add something else to the list then....to be a conduit for pure, unadulterated, divine love.

@electroBeam Great advice bro, thank you. I am getting a bit too obsessed with spiral dynamics. Basically I spent my life learning how to play the guitar, sing, write songs, program music and do personal development. I have my life purpose down, which I'm working on daily, but missed out on the stage Orange skills of being able to turn a skillset into a way to make money. That's why I was thinking of going back and integrating somehow. I do have enough money, as this is how much I should have at this moment in time, for the path I'm on. The universe is seeing to that. But this intelligent mind is also drawn towards making more money as it obviously needs it for something. I'm just letting it do it's thing while my ego sits in the passenger seat. I see the main message of your post as, 'employ some strategic thinking to figure out how to use your existing skills to add value.' Yes..thank you universe. Thank you for speaking through the illusory identity known as electroBeam, and thank you ElectroBeam. @Serotoninluv Hmm, I've never looked at it like that. Maybe it's just the materialism of Orange that I rejected then and I did take some stuff from it, like Reason, logic etc. For some reason I've become overly focused on seeing it as a shallow, money hungry stage only

@Serotoninluv That's nice of you to say, means a lot to me, thank you. Sounds like you are too

Hey guys, last couple of days, during and after meditation I've had this really nice fuzzy feeling in my body which has been with me throughout the day, mainly in my head I think but pretty much through my whole body. It kind of feels like I'm high. Just feel super chilled and very at peace. During the meditation I felt some. Warm tingles in my body but don't know if it was psychosomatic as I've been reading about kundalini and I wanted it to happen. Has anyone else had this? What does it mean? I guess I'm wanting to hear things like 'you're becoming enlightened my friend, have at it! Or, yes, the powers of the cosmos are awakening with you' lol. Another thing I noticed is that my dreams have become more intense and vivid. Last night I dreamnt my girlfriend was ignoring me and wouldn't speak a word and I became so panicked amd furious I picked up her cat by the tail and threatened to garotte it lol. So fucked up. I felt awful afterwards. I wonder if my shadow side is emerging in my dreams so I can work on it.

@Serotoninluv Well...I believe (although I'm not sure) that I'm at the stage where I've become an observer of the thoughts. I'm not using an object of focus you see, like the breath, I'm actually residing as awareness and watching for thoughts. However when the thoughts arise they do seem pretty close and have a sense of 'me-ness' about them. They only really arise when my alertness disappears and I forget what I'm doing, then when awareness returns I note the thought and reside in that state again for as long as possible. If I can stay alert and keep hold of the thought that I'm watching for thoughts, then no thoughts arise, although I find this a little odd as I'm almost using a thought to stop thoughts lol. But the stopping thoughts 'thought' does take a bit of a back seat, so there's still some pure awareness, I think. As for judgement or criticism, the content of my thoughts are usually quite tame, luckily, so they don't leave a bad taste. I live quite a simple, solitary, virtuous existence, so that helps. When they do occur they're usually of a dumb film I watched, like today I bizarrely started trying to remember who won the fight in Batman vs Superman lol. If there're judgements it's usually me judging myself for losing awareness, but perhaps that's what you meant. But anyway, the thoughts aren't quite 'weak and distant' like you said. That would be lovely. The idea of watching them like logs floating down a river and realising they're not me sounds very blissful. Om Swami likens it to stepping-off a Ferris wheel you were on and just watching it from below. I only really see that on an intellectual level at the moment, but I can feel it happening very very gradually. Enlightened duality huh? I did watch a video of Spira talking about that. I'll go back over it and focus on the object + observer stage, like you say. I'll see what he says about how to move up to the next stage too, without putting the cart before the horse of course Thanks for the great dialogue and all these awesome tips my friend

This is a good example of how the over-extended compassion of Green can put them in danger of being harmed by Red - warning, quite shocking.

@Serotoninluv I'm happy to hear you're making some progress with your inquiry into form. I like what you said about not phrasing things as a question to avoid getting a conceptual, word-based answer, I'll remember that. I'll be honest I haven't really gotten anywhere with the small amount of self enquiry that I've done. I ask 'what am I?' and I just get the same answer. 'I'm here, I'm this body and this mind. I just can't seem to disassociate myself with being a body at all. I feel so....located in space and time. But I really haven't done much. Maybe now I've made some progress with the meditation I'll get some better results. But patience and perseverance is the key I'm sure. I have a couple of books to read on self-enquiry from Leo's booklist so that should help me out. I'll drop a subtle question or two into my meditation perhaps, like you suggested and see what unfolds Thanks for the link

@Serotoninluv Ah thank you, thank you, not much I want to add or ask about your first two paragraphs as you phrased all the stuff about thoughts so well and it made perfect sense to me. Those were powerful words and I'm going to study them intently. I'm feeling so much love for everything right now, it's crazy. This fuzzy feeling, that's what it feels like, pure love, like I've taken a mild psychedelic perhaps (if my memory serves me as its been a while). Sorry, are you saying this line of inquiry I.e thought based ( about neutrons etc) is to be avoided? Are you saying that the answer to such a question should come from a more intuitive place? I might need to watch that episode again. Which one was it exactly?