Wisebaxter

@kira Leo mentioned it in his Nootropics video, that's how I first came across it. Apparantly the film 'Limitless' was inspired by the drug. It's popular with entrepreneurs and other badasses. You bought some? Like your style man, straight on the case! Please let us know how you find it. There's an even stronger version called Armodafinil which Leo says feels almost like taking a psychedelic in terms of the level of awareness it provides, so I may upgrade to that at some point. @reves Reves, I know, amazing stuff right? I'm very excited. I feel this drug could really turn things around for me.

Sounds like an awesome trip dude, really positive. You're now more in touch with your emotions and you've developed more body awareness, fantastic. You gotta love these psychedelics. As for the issue with your girlfriend being around, I can imagine this would be a distraction. I waited until mine was away on Christmas Eve and did the trip then. Leo has also suggested renting out a cheap motel (or expensive if you can afford it!) and tripping there so you can control your environment more. Another idea would be to just stay up all night and trip so your girlfriend will be asleep. Of course you'll get tired, so you might want to change your sleep pattern a bit before you do it, so it's more normal. Again, congrats on this amazing experience and thanks for sharing here

I've been with girls who talked about making it spiritual, having tantric sex etc, but in the end for me it usually ends up being the same, very nice, but just a biological (very pleasurable) act which quickly becomes formulaic and then all those lofty ideas just evaporate. Perhaps the first few time it feels more profound or spiritual because it becomes less about the person you're with, their ego and how much you like it, but more about the actual act of making love, which feels primal, like you're both worshipping the moment, God, or your life force. I do kind of get that with sex now after 2 years, but it's not as intense. Perhaps I could work on getting it back a bit, or it will change when my level of consciousness increases. Lol, I like that, but the issues might be, a mystic probably wouldn't care about sex that much, seeing as enlightenment probably gives you a life long orgasm of sorts. Sadhguru sat on a rock and cried for about a week at the sheer beauty of it. Then again, Adyashanti is married. His wife might be enlightened too though so she could have a magical vagina that emits rays of light You could also find a zen devil type of mystic who's had one or two enlightenment experiences but hasn't gone all the way, they're usually quiet horny still. But you'd need to be careful not to be seduced into some kind of sex cult that uses ideas of spirituality to entice you, it's always a risk. Sex with mystics. Good album title, or the title for a track. Being referred to as childish is, I think, one of those remarks that is almost always taken as an insult and stings a bit, as 'childish' is usually viewed as a derogatory term, being associated with ideas of naivety or ignorance. We've been indoctrinated to see 'not knowing' as some kind of disease to be overcome, which makes matters worse. Personally I don't view you that way, as an ego, but the point is, these are just labels that people use to create a story for him\herself. Making these distinctions is the work of the mind. It happens because seeing meaning in the world is a way of making sense of it, although it's always a manipulation as no meaning exists. If you also have a story of your 'self' and childish isn't included in that, you'll feel a need to defend your sense of 'self.' But this self, I'm sure you know already, is an illusion. There's nothing there to attack. So maybe try to see these statements for what they are and don't let them stick to you. Especially as the person using this word may have a different concept/distinction of what it means. We're always only reacting to our own perception of things, which is being fed by 'words' from others. I'm not perfectly immune myself of course, as breaking old habits of reactivity is a challenge. We're programmed to view ourselves to a large extent through other people's conceptual filters

Hey don't sweat it, I chose to have that reaction. What you said was neutral and I added my own interpretation to it. I guess it just triggered me due to some insecurities I have, maybe about how I met my girlfriend. It could just as easily be interpreted as a compliment I think its great that you like to take your time and let things blossom. That's what you find meaningful obviously. Personally I like to jump in feet first, full of fire and passion and devour whatever's in front of me like a famished knight returning to a feast after a lengthy battle. Maybe that's the Aries in me. It could be a weakness. I've had many a maiden try to persuade me to abandon my quest for immediate gratification and win over their hearts the old fashion way, but alas this fire in my loins will not be tempered.

@Aquarius Be yourself of course. Never stop writing poems to men and doing what you do. You sound pretty smart and awesome so... I was just trying to make a point that most men would rather have sex early rather than do all the romantic stuff beforehand and fall in love that way. As for the term 'nasty slut,' I don't think thats very nice at all. Labels like that are the reason a lot of women end up being sexually repressed, because they're worried they'll be viewed as dirty or slutty if they let themselves go and explore their sexuality in a certain way. I met my girlfriend in a dating app and she came over and slept with me that night. We had an electric connection straight away and we've been together ever since. She's not nasty at all. I think it's a shame you can't let the autistic guy know how you feel. Who knows where that might lead. His savant super power could be the ability to give cunnilingus for 10 hours straight, then you'd be in for a treat

If all concepts are relative how on earth do I work out any problems in my life by contemplating them? If essentially there is no objective truth, then really I'm just assigning the answers myself and layering concepts on top of other concepts, right? For example, I ask myself, what career would I be best suited to? There's really no answer is there. I can make some guesses but there's no way of knowing if I've come up with the right answer because in reality there is no right answer. Another example would be the question, 'are wants productive things to have? Or should I dispose of wants altogether and try to realise my perfection?' Right now I'm just lost in a maze in my own mind, trying to work out all these problems in my life, like what job to take next, what kind of friends I want, how I should treat desires, but I'm aware that every answer I come up with can be immediately disputed as there's no objective truth. This is making me feel very lost and confused. I don't know the criteria I should be using to come up with answers, to essentially 'create' my own truth. Any guidance would be great. I've been learning about non-duality for a long time and engaging in the practices but one challenging aspect of it all seems to be the way it leaves me grasping for solid ground to stand on, to know what direction to take in life. When you realise all concepts are bullshit, how do you know what to do?

@Nahm Wow, that was one badass answer. You're one insightful dude Nahm, I'm so glad to be able to digitally tap into your databanks like this. You make even the great sage Baxter feel humbled. Good job you don't have much of an ego to let all of these compliments inflate it I have a lot to go on in this area now. This forum is the shit

@WelcometoReality I'm all over that one buddy. That was the thing that first got me into spirituality, when I read the Power of Now. Easier said that done most of the time though as I'm still programmed with a lot of old patterns surrounding needing to succeed. But when I do get into that state, during meditation, it's simply sublime. One skill I'd love to develop is being able to accept the moment as perfection and still be able to take action with life purpose stuff

@Nahm What about just for normal contemplation, you know, like contemplating a concept like 'habits?' Should this be a purely mind-based affair or is the technique you outlined still a good idea? Maybe you could hold the question in your head for a while then let go and wait for a spontaneous insight?

All this does beg the question though....how do you contemplate from the heart? Contemplation seems like a very important practice, but should we be doing it in a way that involves the heart, involves intuition? If it's purely mind/concept based, then isn't this a danger? Perhaps it's by using the meditation technique that @Nahm mentioned, where you sit and allow spontaneous insights to come

@WelcometoReality Haha I make all of my notes available for public consumption Here are some from the video you just linked: "Loneliness can result from feeling separated from society, but it can also result from feeling separated from yourself somehow, from your own heart or inner experience. When you have difficult experiences it’s like the heart pulls back in and isn’t connecting to what’s out there anymore. It’s like nobody can reach you and you can’t reach out. The sensitivity of the heart is covered over. Whenever you’re deeply present you’re utilising the heart." I'm getting a feel for this now, for this...sensing with the heart. I've been so closed up for years due to a consistent level of striving and suffering that all I ever get it mind, mind and more mind, until I'm going out it lol. There's a desperate grasping for a truth that's always elusive and never based on anything tangible. But now I know that being present and in touch with your body and your feelings is the way forward. This has been a big realisation for me and potentially life changing so thank you again for pointing me in the right direction. It's going to take a while so get in touch with the small voice again but I'm excited about this new way of doing things. I'll update this thread at some point with any news flashes I get, coming to you live...from the heart

@Emerald This may sound a bit crass, but do you also feel indifferent to a guy going down on you, like the pleasure really isn't that great? Most girls I know get much more of a kick out of this than the sex itself. Sometimes if a guy refuses to do this at all, does it half heartedly or without skill, this can be a huge factor when it comes to actual penetration.

@WelcometoReality That was such a great video. You really came through for me with that link buddy. I made some notes for anyone that's interested. "The conditioned self is so conditioned that it's hard to know what to trust there. It’s not the ego or personality's voice but instead there’s something inside that comes from a stillness. It’s not intellectual or thought driven, it’s a whisper within stillness, succinct and brief and doesn’t justify itself. If you ask why it’s the voice to trust, the ego's voice will give you a list of explanations as to why it’s trustworthy. The still, small voice doesn’t judge and doesn’t say ’should or shouldn’t.’ Sometimes it’s not a voice at all. The quickest way to access it can be to feel within your body. The body is a good truth detector. Despite what the mind thinks, when there’s bullshit afoot the body will have some kind of contraction or uncomfortable sensation. The truth will often just be a feeling. He doesn’t mean emotion, because emotions can delude you too. It’s something underneath that emotional reactivity. A lot of the times it’s trial and error. You try something out and see if it seems trustworthy. Listen to what’s intuitive and non-insistent. What’s intuitive isn’t usually insistent or forceful. It just presents itself without arguing it’s point with you or anyone around you. A lot of people were taught during their upbringing to not trust themselves, to put all of the authority outside of themselves. We have to be willing to fail over and over again. Its not easy as the conditioning is so strong and can often override it. You just have to keep going and learn to walk. Adya’s teacher would never give him straight answers. She would guide him in a certain direction and let him figure it out himself. We have this tendency to want answers to be specific and simple but they’re not. We have to discover what’s true for ourselves."

@WelcometoReality Yeah man, not trusting myself is definately a huge part of the issue. Thanks for the Adya video, I haven't watched that one. He's fantastic

@Leo Gura That's awesome, I have some direction now. I'll check out those videos you mentioned again and develop my 'balancing theory and practice' superpower. I'm so balls deep in theory right now it's ridiculous. Also your video on How to Get Shit done seems very relevant. I've always struggled with creating results. I just hoard theory and feel like it's getting me somewhere. Thanks again for the detailed response to my query.

@Girzo Well of course we can make exceptions for Osho and Rumi....that goes without saying. Nothing gets me harder and ready to bone than a Ruminator quote. If the chick is versed in that shit then that will appeal to a man's intellect and he'll get horny - but we're still talking about sex here. His heart won't start swooning or anything and he won't turn up at her place with a dozen red roses reciting more Rumi loudly at her window in between marriage proposals.

@Nahm That's awesome Nahm, thanks. I've read many times that spontaneous, intuitive insights can come from a state of being, from what they call in the scientific field 'diffuse mode' as opposed to 'focused mode.' I think I've been coming at it all from too much of a neurotic angle, focusing my attention on questions like a laser beam and when nothing comes I start to feel frustrated, or if something comes it just feels a bit unnatural, like it came from my ego and not somewhere deeper. I'm going to carry out the practices you suggested and see how that goes. @Leo Gura Thanks a lot Leo, that's really helpful. Perhaps I need to reset my outlook a bit to how it used to be before I learned about Non-Duality, where concepts of cause and effect and practicality were just what they were. I can keep my new-found understanding of absolute truth there but like you say I need to realise that when there's a relative goal then there will also be a relative solution to that goal. I think I'm trying to bring considerations of absolute truth into my practical daily affairs and it's fucking with me a bit. Also, the 'how' to get something done is one aspect of things, but something else I'm struggling with is the 'what' and even the 'why?' What criteria should I use when choosing what to do with my life? How can I discover a direction for myself and trust myself to come up with the right one? Is the answer basically an avoidance of pain and a pursuit of pleasure? The avoidance of suffering? I'd imagine your life purpose course is good for this one. Intuitively I feel the answer has something to do with 'creating' as that's an act of love. I'm sure @Nahm's meditation exercise can help me find direction here too. I might be fundamentally dealing with an issue of low self-efficacy. I'm reading Nathanial Branden's 'Six Pillars of Self Esteem' at the moment and making some progress with that. I realise I'm coming across a bit like I need you guys to run my life for me lol, but this shit is seriously confusing me. I think I need to enjoy the process more and be able to deal with paradox as well as 'not knowing' without freaking the hell out. @Truth Addict For sure dude, maybe I'm overthinking things too much. Like I said I might need to just leave certain things alone and accept them as being useful without picking them to pieces.

Most men will be put off if you fly staight in talking about lofty concepts like love. The way to a man's heart is through his loins. My honest advice is to drop all the intense stuff as it will never attract a male. If you want a loving relationship, jump their bones and make some fireworks happen, you'll soon see them switch on the romance after that, trust me. I know women who stay stuck with this issue for years. It's tough because they start getting cynical and thinking of men as shallow. Theyre not, they're just wired a bit differently. Have some fun, get laid, forget about love for now. That shit comes later, when a good physical connection is established. Women put the cart before the horse with love. Love is built on physical intimacy, not words. I understand that women feel they need an emotional connection first, that's their biology and it's a bit of a cruel trick on natures part. All of my long term relationships have come after having sex very early. Become a maneater, get in touch with your sexuality. Men will be queuing up to romance you then. If I read you wrong I apologise. My advice still stands for anyone else though.

Don't overthink it. Just ride that shit to Asgard and back and see how you feel after that.

Turn the tables on her dude and let her come to you. You may come across as more desirable that way. Of course, try not to fake it. Get into the mindset that sex is just sex and don't think about it so much. Meditation should help with this.

@ajasatya Sure, but how do I know which concepts to get behind, which concepts are right for me? I also struggle with the paradox of disciplining my mind and practicing non-resistance. When I control my mind it feels unnatural, but when I let it do what it likes I feel I'm wasting time and not figuring anything out, or I'm letting old, negative pattens run rampant. To be honest I don't know what the hell to do with my mind. There's too much to think about, too many questions to answer...it's tiring. I can never decide where to focus it. Even with something like contemplation. Where do you even start with something like that? What should be prioritised? See what I mean, too many questions. Maybe I need to meditate more as my mind is driving me a bit nuts right now.

@Aakash That's all great advice dude. I'm gonna dig into it and contemplate what you've said before I come back with anything. I might shoot @ivankiss a line too, thanks for the pointer there

That was a great post, thanks. You summed up the issue perfectly. So emotions are they key? I thought this might be the case. Maybe I need to develop more emotional awareness. My EQ is rubbish to be honest. I'm so stuck in my head it's ridiculous. There's really no emotional connection to the music. When I create a good chord progression or whatever, yeah it sounds nice but I don't really know what I'm trying to express and there's no inspiration behind it. Just from having this discussion I think I'm getting somewhere. Lack of inspiration could be my issue. I feel it in my bones that creating beauty is the way forward, but perhaps first we need to be inspired by beauty...more walks in the countryside maybe, or just getting out there and engaging with life and people instead of being such a hermit. This is just a paradox, like you say, and one I have to accept and reconcile somehow.

@Aakash Yeah I see what you're saying, that taking care of yourself should be put first, but I can't muster up any passion for anything now other than reading self help books, watching non-dual videos and carrying out spiritual practices. Nothing on the level of form seems to excite me as I can see that its all meaningless. I feel that the only thing worth while is enlightenment. Sure I'd love to get my finances in order and money causes me a lot of stress (currently unemployed) but I feel like I have to become a bullshitting animal and shoe horn myself back into society, which I'm finding difficult. I've always been creative and I've taught myself music production over the last 3 years. I play the guitar, sing etc but I'm feeling that even this has all been tied up with the concept of 'succeeding' (due to my early programming) and so there's no joy in the actual process of creation. Perhaps this should be my focus, learning to enjoy creating, but I don't know how. It's a tough one. Thanks for the help

@Serotoninluv Yeah I hear ya, I guess that's a product of language and the fact that words are always just signposts. Tolle says that himself. I got it into my head that everything he says is infallible, but words never are right?