Wisebaxter

@Truth Addict This is an incredible post, thanks a lot. You explained it perfectly. Hatred is a purely ego based thing, that's why it feels so crappy, but it's still a form of love, a love for something...

@Nahm, thanks dude, that's awesome! So love comes from consciousness, and hatred the mind....

@abrakamowse Yeah, I'm getting that now. Rupert Spira said that only 'non-love' can be created. Love itself is the default state of consciousness so it doesn't need to be created.

@Leo Gura Ah, thanks Leo, that makes perfect sense now. As I felt that I was God and God couldn't experience hatred, I couldn't work out how then I could experience hatred. It's safe to say then that is is God experiencing hatred, but just as the devil, as the ego. Does God disguise itself as an ego so it can play and with dualities and experience itself in so many different ways? I think I've heard you say that. But then it always wants to have the experience of finding itself again? Hence Spiral dynamics etc? Recently whilst tripping I had the realisation that reality is like a play of forms, so God is playful. It also likes to wear masks, just to play, so it can be an actor and almost get lost in the role it's playing. Then you awaken it's like God is saying 'you thought you were you, no, you're me! And you're like 'noooo shiiiiiiit.' Perhaps it loves the experience of awakening. Let's face it, it's pretty incredible.

Thanks for all these awesome replies dudes. I haven't had a chance to go through them all properly yet. I did 300ug last night and it was fucking mind blowing. Literally, blew my mind to pieces. I think I have this question regarding evil figured out now, but still not 100%. Its my mind that's labelling something as hate right? Creating that concept whereas to God there are no such distinctions and all is love? @TheAvatarStateI did read some of your post and I have a feeling you mentioned this, which might be where I'm getting it from.

@Preetom But when we say the Devil's tools we also have to say 'God's tools' as the two aren't seperate. If my ego has a self Agenda then God has a self Agenda, as my ego, seeing as my ego is part of God. The experience of an ego, is still an experience God is having isn't it? Unless we say it's God having forgotten itself...

@Igor82 Maybe nofap is an arena where you can create a feeling of succeeding at something as it feels like you're progressing when you're not fapping. But why exactly are you so adverse to doing it? Were you fapping multiple times a day perhaps? Could it be that nofap has become almost a new addiction for you? I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but is there any way you could remove the guilt from the activity? Could you fap every day for a week and not give a shit? The Sedona method is very good. You ask Can I live with this? Can I let this go? Will I let this go? When will I let this go? You can answer yes or no to any question, it doesn't matter, just keep doing it. In my experience it's the guilt that locks us into a habit, the neurosis behind it. But yeah, definitely try posting less, see if that helps. Also make a note of every time you either think about fapping or nofap during the day, to get an idea of how much its dominating your consciousness. You said you need to wind down after work. Is your job quite stressful then?

I've taken 200ug of LSD two weekends in a row now, had amazing, insightful experiences both times, now I'm tempted to trip again this weekend. A buddy of mine is a bit concerned that I might be getting hooked on it. The thing is, I can feel that I'm getting such amazing growth from it. I feel so much more mellow, less anxious and in control of my life. Every time I trip I get deeper and deeper insights into how I'm holding myself back in life, not to mention the nature of reality in general. I'm a firm believer in going with the heart and I'm sure that when my body and mind has had enough it'll let me know, but right now my intuition is saying - go for it! What do you guys think? I also want to keep increasing my dosage to try and achieve ego death, which I haven't really experienced so far, not intensely anyway.

@improvementedward Yes mate definitely, I am a bit of a pleasure seeker. I suppose it's about developing mindfulness into your emotional state and knowing why exactly you want to trip, what's your intention. If it's for an escape or for a buzz, then best to wait eh?

@Bluebird Thanks for the advice buddy. What was it about the 600ug trip that made it so beautiful? Do you have a trip report written for that one?

Thank you for documenting your journey with these sentence completions. I've just finished reading the book myself and I'm about to start them. Your videos are awesome too. I love how expressive and natural you are.

@Zigzag Idiot Wow, 4hrs....I thought DMT trips usually only lasted 15mins or so. Do you think it's because you snorted it? What made it such a bad experience, the sheer length of it? Or that feeling of heaviness you mentioned? People usually say those geometric shoes are beautiful, but that wasn't your experience? Yeah 5-MeO DMT is supposed to be a completely different beast. I'm working my way up to that one. Have some more LSD arriving today and am tempted to trip again, even though it's only been a week lol Great journalisms by the way...those posts your posting about look awesome. Gonna out them on my list.

@Maya_0 Yes I think you've nailed it there, thanks

@kieranperez I think you're right to skeptical, based on your experience. I don't have any experience with Adderall, but I can say personally, Modafinil allowed me to go so deep into being that my monkey mind seems to have lessened considerably, even weeks after taking it. I have taken some LSD since then too, so that could have contributed, but I think it was largely the Modafinil. Maybe give it a try for a few days and see how you get on...it might be one of those situations where that's the best way of knowing how your mind and body will react to it. It seems to me that most of the people commenting on this thread have had a positive experience, so I'm optimistic that you'll get something from it.

@kieranperez You definitely feel more present the day after. This makes sense, as you're spending such long periods of time with hardly any monkey mind, completely immersed in the present moment. I'd even argue that you will get permanent shifts in consciousness from taking this substance for a while.

@Igor82 Just like most of us you've made a connection between nutting and porn that is really hard to break. This is because porn gets you off so easily. I remember those wanks back in the day, before porn, where you'd be tugging at it for ages and eventually give up and go and nurse your sore dick. Nowadays the stimulation you get from porn is insane, especially as you can always find something new if your current fetish goes stale. Have you tried using your imagination to nut? If you really feel like busting one? Like, maybe fantasise about your perfect woman, having a really romantic night and then making love to her under the stars. That way you're keeping the image of women more sacred in your mind and not risking them being objectified so much. It might even work as a law of attraction type thing to attract your perfect girl to you. This fantasy might be hard at first if you're used to be overstimulated by porn. She might yell 'stick it in my ass!' or something lol. It will take some practice. I read that ejaculation from time to time can be healthy. I think that eventually your body will just cause you to have a wet dream as it likes to keep a clean load in there. But that will be after a few weeks I can confirm that did happen to me when I gave it up for ages. I can't help but think that the fact we've associated porn with masturbation/ejaculation has put us off of carrying out what's essentially a natural bodily process.

@Serotoninluv This is very helpful, thank you. I do feel like the insights are piling up and perhaps I need to be more practical and actually work them into my life more. I feel I don't have the lower levels nailed on Maslow's triangle, such as security, but then again that's partly the reason I want to trip again, as I feel I have more to be shown here. Every time I trip the insights just flow so beautifully out of me, it's very addictive and exciting. Really, my main issue here is lack of patience. What's the rush, really? Well, I guess the truth is I'm also a bit of a pleasure seeker and that feeling of love I get from LSD is like nothing I've ever experienced. Perhaps then the answer is to carry on with it like my hearts telling me too and eventually I'll get to a similar state to the one you described, where the insights dry up and the substance scolds me for over-using it. @Alex Well I feel like I can handle 200ug pretty well now, so I'm sure I can up the dosage a bit. What do you think would be a good amount to jump to next, to be safe? @Serotoninluv It's funny you mentioned about the smaller amounts. When I did 20ug last week I felt more intense love welling in my heart than I'd felt with the larger amounts. It felt a lot more body-based. Perhaps larger doses don't just give you 'more of the same,' but change the experience completely. I was very pleased that micro-dosing had this effect. If I could have that feeling every day....man, I think I'd be unstoppable.

@Tistepiste Yes, you can know things. It's just about how you investigate. You basically need to rely on direct experience. Don't think that knowing is impossible, this is a trap. Yes you will need to come at things from a position of not knowing in order to know things, but even that's refreshing as you first realise, oh, I know that I don't know. This is a beautiful natural state to be in. You've probably come across Peter Ralston's 'The Book of Not Knowing.' If not, give it a read. If you're struggling with this issue it will really help you

@Igor82 Do you think the issue is more to do with how you're nutting. i.e using porn, rather than the actual nutting itself? I find using porn all the time make you feel kind of low and you worry you're devaluing women or objectifying them. Just wondering.

Perhaps find a spiritual group, a local buddhist centre or something, so you'd at least be around like-minded people. Facebook is great for finding local groups. or if you have any hobbies, find an interest group for that. Again, visualise yourself doing something like that and feeling confidence and full of joy. Leo has some great books on his booklist for Law of Attraction. It's very powerful. Oh and CBD oil is supposed to be awesome for anxiety. You should be able to buy it where you are

Interesting that you're so passionate about English artists and culture, definitely. One think I've learned it, our intuition is rarely wrong. If you're thinking it and feeling it in your heart, then it's true. That's god's mind you have there after all Yeah the latest trip was amazing. Had a lot of insights about how we wear all these masks in our life. Also went to the library and sat watching a book shelf dance whilst listening to Shpongle lol. That was the next day and I still getting visuals. LSD is just too damn awesome for words. You planning to trip any time soon?

Sounds like you have a great attitude when it comes to suffering, very positive. I'm a firm believer in Law of Attraction so if you can imagine how it would feel to be a sage, to be calm and in control, you can draw that to you. I'm sure you already are. As for Social Anxiety, I suffer fro that too. I think that small steps coming out of your comfort zone is the best way forward. Psychedelics have also given me some good insights here and helped me build up confidence and love

Depending on what kind of trip your having, this could be interesting:

Do you ever get the feeling that every thing that happens in your life, no matter, what it is, is supposed to happen, for a very specific reason? Can you see how every trial you've been through has taught you something and made you stronger? There is a lesson in everything. For me this was a profound realisation and when I gave myself to it, I began noticing it more and more. It also helped me to love everything that happens unconditionally.

Do you have any more information at all, about your previous life? Or is is just like am intuitive feeling? Do you have images? Words or anything flash up?