Wisebaxter

I asked a random girl outside my uni halls today if she knew a weed dealer and she got extremely friendly fast, saying she'd seen me around and stoner's should stick together, we should hang out etc. I'm 45, she's 25, very attractive, petite, perfect body, half Romanian, half, Greek. Lip filler. The sort of woman I never have any reason to talk to. After meeting her dealer with her in a graveyard, she carried on talking about how we were gonna be friends, inviting me out on her birthday. She also said she likes to tease men, telling me I was hot and that she 'does' older guys. I'm serious! I had an intuition that she's used to doing this though and I wasn't overtly attracted to her as she just seemed a bit unhinged. She said 'do you like my ass?' and started twerking for me in an alleyway. All the while she's saying she's falling for this guy she's banging called 'Tim,' whom we met earlier, a chubby guy with a beard and big dick (apparently) that seemed very pleasant. I told her I can twerk too and she checked out my ass as I did so, resting her hand on it. But still, I knew what I was dealing with. So that sets the scene. At the end, please tell me, is she an enlightened master or...does she require many years of therapy. We go to her room for her to roll a joint. It's really bad in there. Stuff thrown everywhere, carpet covered in crap. The sink was brown and dirty, full of brown water with a plunger stuck in it. She said it's been blocked for ages but she hasn't told maintenance. She can't tell me why exactly. Make what you will of this. She's studying philosophy. So we're laughing together and having fun, I'm making her feel good and celebrating who she is, as I felt she needed it. She tells me she's also an escort and she loves it because she's a 'nasty' bitch. I said 'what does that mean?' She said it means she just loves sex. She says she can make a couple of grand from a trip up to London, that 'the guys are so rich and hot too.' She shows me an Indonesian guy sitting on an expensive looking porch. She then shows me how flexible she is and puts her foot over her head. I was enjoying her company and so swept a long with it all I hadn't had time to reflect on how bizarre it all was. We go to the park and start smoking a joint together. I quite like her. She's very herself and seems very energetic, lively and happy. I pay her lots of compliments and she hugs me. I start to appreciate how hot she is. Exotic, with stunning eyes, looks like something from assassins creed, like an Egyptian Goddess. I sang an Ancient Greek Hymn called ‘Song to the Muse’ the night before, that I’m working on for a uni project. I briefly wonder if I summoned her somehow. She approaches a guy lying on a park bench who looks homeless for a lighter but stays and speaks to him for about 7 minutes whilst I wait on the bench. She comes back and tells me he's really hot and has nice eyes, as I watch him start juggling skittles. I know, just one of those days. It gets a lot weirder. She keeps telling me we're kindred spirits. I toy with the idea of being friends with her as she's so beautiful to look at and I like her authenticity and the fact she doesn't hide anything about herself is refreshing. She's very smitten with Tim. She says he might want her to live with him next year but isn't sure. She can't say why, but thinks it might be because he thinks she wants more. She then starts talking about the local rich guys she hooks up with and shows me a picture of some preppy looking guy on a balcony, who looks very upper class. She says 'I sucked his dick yesterday. He's gonna pay for my boob job.’ I don't know what to think now. I'm just rolling with it as best I can. I ask 'does he know he is?' She gets a bit triggered and says 'Oh he knows, he knows if he wants to fuck me all the time he'll have to! I ask for her views on Andrew Tate as she almost reminded me of one of the girls you see in his videos. I'm just trying to fit her into some kind of context I can make sense of. She tells me he fucked with the wrong women as Romanian women aren't stupid. He thought they were, treated them badly and now he's paying for it. She was speaking as if she was one of those women and started showing me Romanian supermodels. She seemed to be glamourising her lifestyle. She told me she spends hundreds of pounds on clothes and you could tell by looking her, she was dressed very well and looked great. But I kept thinking about that plunger in the sink. She takes my number and we both walk back to our rooms. She phones 10 minutes later and invites me to the uni canteen for food. She's wearing a revealing top where you can see the sides of her tits. At this stage I'm wondering if I can fuck her and I'm also a little swept away by her beauty and still finding her quite interesting. I never meet women like this. We grab some shitty fish and chips and she leads back to her dirty room. On the way she hints she had a bad upbringing and some bad issues with her dad. I sit on her dirty chair and try to eat gracefully out of a styrofoam food carton with a wooden knife and fork. She keeps talking about Tim. 'Do you think he's into me?' I'm thinking, 'how the fuck do I know?' I suggest she talks to him but she says he can't. She can't really say why, but is acting like she's in love. Now she tells me he comes over at least once a week and eats her pussy, for about four hours. Four hours!? That can't be true. Who is this legend they call Tim? Then she gets really intense, talking about how she's a gemini and they have a dark side. Whilst picking up pieces of grime off the floor she tells me Kali speaks to her on a regular basis and then throws me a heavy book on witchcraft. Now she's staring at me with this intense gaze as she opens the book and shows me Kali surrounded by severed heads and covered with blood. I mention Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom but she stares at me blankly. She says Kali is the ultimate power and cannot be dominated by men. She was told by a Romanian Gypsy that she should study Kali and Kali guides her all the time. She started to imply her carefree hedonistic lifestyle is somehow in line with the energy of Kali, who wants her to become a leader and end the suffering of humanity. I'm wondering where the sucking off rich guys for implants falls into that, but I'm trying to stay open. At a couple of points I'm almost entranced, quite high, listening to her talk about Kali in her Romanian accent. She loos like some temptress or an Egyptian deity perhaps. We have an interesting talk about Non Duality and she of course sees herself as a spiritual empath. When I confide about my recent break up she again just stares at me blankly until I feel self conscious and just wrap up the story quickly, getting back to talking about her. She says 'wanna see my tits?' Somehow I knew this was coming. Sounding like some bumbling Englishman in a Hugh Grant film I say 'well, yes, of course, if you'd like to show me.' It didn't seem like a come on to me. I don't know what it was. Perhaps because we'd been talking about how hot she is and she was wanting more compliments. She says 'they're a bit saggy,' and they were, but still attractive. She tells me Tim wants his friends to fuck her if she moves in there. She says she's up for that. Now I just want out of there. I tell her I'm gonna go chill and I'm off. I get a text from her five minutes later asking if I have a spare iPhone charger. I text her back to say I'm really not looking for a friend but I'll see her around. What a wild ride! Was she somehow, by giving into her passions and living through the senses, embodying an aspect of the divine? She seemed totally ungrounded, obsessed with the superiority of her intuition over common sense. I don't think I've ever mer a girl that hot and that fucked up. She was sweet too, very warm. But towards the end she said ‘I wonder what Tim thinks about us together.’ I saw that coming too. She wants to use me as tool. Me and my iPhone charger. At least I got some weed! She calls me ten minutes later and I reiterate that I’m not looking for a friend and I’m a private person. To be honest I can see this chick is fucking bananas and would be too much. She asks ‘do you fancy me?’ I say ‘yeah sure you’re hot, why do you ask?’ She says as that would make more sense as to why you don’t want to hang out.’ Seeing an opportunity to make it easier for her I say ‘yeah yeah, sure, that’s it, you’re waaaay too hot, soo, you’d become my Tim.’ She giggles. She asks ‘did you think about me being your girlfriend?’ I concede that I did have a brief moment when I entertained the idea but quickly snapped out of it. I can see she likes men fawning over her. She says ‘well, I would be up for stuff with you…we could hang out some more, it’s quite likely. Let’s go to the park.’ I can sense that sex really means nothing to her, so much so that she’ll use it to get something as simple as friendship, or the offer of it at least. I say ‘you’re just a bit lonely and you want a friend, you don’t really wanna have sex that much right?’ She says ‘err, yeah that’s it.’ I say that she can call me if Tims ever busy and she needs a pussy eating stand in. She laughs, says ok then hangs up if she calls me to eat her pussy I still don’t think I’ll do it. It doesn’t feel right some how, like I’d be taking advantage of a mentally unhinged person.

Anyone messed around with Chat GPT-4's image creator? There's something deeply satisfying about having a mental image then seeing it come to life. Here are some of my favourites. See if you can guess anything about me from them Here's one for free - I love Ninjas! Would love to see what you guys can come up with in this thread!

Had a meeting with Steve Couch in the Master suite He gave me lots of industry advice. Here are some of the main things he said: There are no 'jobs' in the industry. Steven Spielberg infiltrated Hollywood by catching a tour bus to some studios and then hiding. He found a guy in the 'underbelly' of the place who was a producer. Spielberg was only 18 but had movies already made to show him. The guy gave him a 3 day pass. He used the pass for 3 days to get past security but on the fourth they just let him in and he didn't bother with a pass. This was communicated to Steve in person by Spielberg and is hush hush. I was asked by Steve not to go yapping Nile Rodgers from Chic bribed an elevator boy so he could record his album, then got noticed by the sound engineer. He ways the two elements you need are skill and luck All the successful people he's met are 'thoughtful.' They have a big picture of what's going on and aren't just focused on themselves. This makes them easy to work with Be where things are happening. You need luck but you have to be where it can occur. He mentioned Soho. He did a lot of volunteering in his career. He got his first payment whilst not expecting it, for a piece of advert music. He was told by some other famous woman in her dressing room 'make sure you get paid sweetie.' He wasn't there to get paid. he was there from morning to night as he was on the jazz. Don't go in there thinking about dollar, that comes when you prove your mettle. Know where the boundary of your remit ends and someone else's begin. That way you don't rub people the wrong way by doing their work and you don't do extra. Pro-Tools has to be used, no questions. You will hanging around making coffee and then at one point they might let you touch some buttons. Nobody will throw you in to the deep end. They are smart. They will see how much you can handle Steve had a bad week where he made a lot of mistakes. He went to his boss and took responsibility for it all. He kept his job but they were about to fire him. When someone says 'I don't like it,' they just mean 'it doesn't work for this.' You have to be able to handle a dynamic where you can take feedback or rejection for something and bounce straight back. Like Nile Rodgers did. Don't date actresses, they are a lot to handle and very over the top. Nobody uses Final Cut. They also use Avid's video editing software.

This is my second journal. This time around I'm going to be more positive and use it to encourage myself. I'll start my thanking myself for making this decision. I'm excited. I've been having a wonderful time learning to compose music and I've met some beautiful people. I can't wait to see where this journey takes me. I've learned so much already and it's incredible how far I've come. I've made so much awesome music and I'm so proud of myself for trying hard and following my passion. Whenever I make music now I'm always amazed at how good it is. Just to think, all those years growing up I love soundtracks so much and never thought that one day I'd be making my own. life unfolds in mysterious and profound ways. I've always felt like I'm being guided. With perseverance, comes success - Bob Matthews, Research methods: a practical guide for the social sciences I am manifesting: 1. Financial independence as a composer. For me, financial independence means - Not having to rely on anyone but myself to meet my basic needs of food and shelter. Not having a boss, other than the commissioner of my work. Not having a traditional working day, being able to choose my own hours Being in the process of paying back all by debts 2. A healthy, stress-free lifestyle where I make good decisions that benefit my body and mind 3. Freedom. To me, freedom means: Being able to have the things I want, with no money worries Travelling wherever I choose, whenever I choose Being able to make decisions that benefit me without having to consider money 4. Safety. To me, safety means: Not having to worry about people in my living space Being able to really relax at home in peace Cooking whatever I want, whenever I want. A home that feels like home 5. Health. Energy. Vitality. Balance. This is a good list. I am pleased with it. These are the things that will give me safety, security and peace of mind. I will not ask for more. I will be grateful for what I have and consider anything on this list as a precious gift.

I completed my masters with the help of Lucie. What a beautiful person she is. She was so patient and giving. It feels incredible to have it done. The hard part of my course is over and now it's just the fun stuff. My accommodation is secure. I will get this masters. Wow. I'd always doubted it in some way. It seemed like to much a of a prize, too much to ask, given the challenges I've had and the choices I've made, but I must be truly blessed. I feel like a guardian angel watches over me, or a loving parent, like the universe, or God. Just something guiding me. Somehow it all just works out. I have some work to do though. I have a foundation for something now, a way to build afresh, something beautiful. I have very little, but the inner wealth is overflowing. I feel a bit safer. I am happier. I can rest, a little. I was right about this course. I do truly love to make music and see it bringing a story to life. Like a language of emotion, so mysterious. My art is magic, wielding the forces of nature to inspire, to create order from chaos. The day, when I came home from American Express and said 'no, not me, not this lifetime.' I am a free man. Here is a man who will shape his own destiny, created his own independence day. So now it begins. I am Kate Winslet arriving art her dream home in The Holiday, walking into that exciting new world full of possibilities. She is overcome by it, it brings her to life, the beauty, the freshness. And she's allowed to feel that way. This is a dream home. It is something sublime, not superficial. It is the product of love. The main areas I have to now focus on, are: Clothes, a little big shabby, but it won't take long to find something fetching. I know they'll be something. I'm going to dress so smart. I'm going to feel like a success. It might not last, they say you always want more. I'm ready for that. I'm going to be around people like Professor Baysted and Susan Legg. Beautiful, inspiring people. My people. The lucky ones, who made it through ok. Avoided childhood trauma. Has loving parents. A good home. Took drugs, sure, but nobodies perfect. As far as they go, I don't do too bad. I'm about 80% there. A few bad habits to iron out, but that's part of life's story. How dull it would be with nothing to strive for.

@PenguinPablo yeah man, you’re not wrong. I’m gonna avoid her at all costs. It was one of those situations you get swept along with. I've had enough time to reflect now and I've deleted my instagram account so she can't contact me. I’m overly nice too so I find it hard to set boundaries. I should have just got the weed and fled as soon as possible. It also shows the power an attractive woman can have over you. It's like your brain takes a hike.

@Buck Edwards 🤣😂 I know, right? It was the most surreal experience. As we were walking along she kept saying ‘do you like my ass?’ Man I feel sorry for her. She’s gone in the head. The saddest thing was that she couldn’t see how unhealthy it all was. Somehow she had this mentality that she was enjoying being a play thing for men. She straight away felt the need to get my validation. She’d made up some spiritual cock and bull story about deities to justify having no restraint, saying that the more restrains you have, the more attached to ego you are, you just have to flow like consciousness does and live life through the sense. It’s a nice idea at least. I just wanted to say ‘some fraudster has made you obsessed with Kali and you just need to wake the fuck up. You’re not sucking dudes off because you’re doing the work of the earth goddess, you’re just using that as a romantic notion to justify it. But what do I know? I could be wrong. God clearly likes to dress up as a Romanian sex addict with spiritual pretensions. Can’t argue with that. I feel slightly on edge now. She lives in my building. I won’t have seen the last of her I’m sure

@Butters haha that’s nice to hear. Makes me happy someone read it. I’ve added some more if you’re interested as she phoned me again! this shit never happens to me! Not like that any way. It was bonkers.

I am so blessed to have this insatiable drive for success and personal growth. I could have easily given up by now, but I've persevered, day in, day out, always learning, always evolving. I must be truly favoured. How lucky I am, to even have this opportunity. Just to think, soon I'll have an MA. Master...of....the Arts. The word Master will be in my title. All for you Bruce Leeroy. I've been guided from such a young age. I trust. I have faith. No matter what happens, this is the path I should be on. Such willpower. Such force. Let it be known, whoever may read this. I did it. I am a success. Alex Lambden came into this world and said 'I will aim for the stars.' He dared to dream, he sacrificed, he said 'I will not settle for second best. He even risked his life for it, to say, this is not enough, I am not enough. I can be more, I can be great.' Driven by love and a lust for life, to experience it all, to have it all or to have nothing,

Today the sun was shining for the first time in a while. I felt elated and emotional as I walked to the seafront listening to uplifting Synthwave. I decided to let my body rest and not take any Modafinil or LSD. I feel good. Reading about how to conduct social research is bringing me lots of joy. What an interesting subject. And I have a whole two weeks to work on this! My paper is going to be so fascinating. I have a feeling I might get a Merit. The sun glistens on the ocean, offering a promise of even greater abundance and joy. What a blessing. I feel so grateful to be here on this day, experiencing all this beauty. Thank you universe for allowing me to be here. Life is such a gift. I am filled with vitality and love. This moment is perfection. It's all I need.

Is this too much to ask? Most women seem to hate both weed and games. My fantasy is to be able to sit with them, get blazed, play some games and fool around. Anyone ever met any girls like this?

@Yimpa Oh I’ve never thought to try the BFF thing on Bumble. That’s a good idea because it takes all the pressure off and really anything good will be built from the ground up with someone you can actually be friends with. I’m really happy for you. That’s where the good ones are hanging out then. I’ll sign back up soon and have a look. Would be good for me to stop being motivated by just sex. I almost can’t divorce it from how I feel about a woman based on who she is a person. A recipe for disaster and there have been some. In terms of being sneaky, yeah you’d have to be authentically interested in just being friends. But does that mean you’d start friendships even with women you don’t find attractive at all? Surely that always comes into play? Or no?

Another element that would make all the difference for me is if she didn't have a 9-5 job and was perhaps an artist or had her own business. Then we would't have the 10pm 'sign off,' which is a complete boner killer. The sessions have to be long and continue through the night

@Thought Art yeah I probably just don't get out enough. If you meet any though send them my way

@Carl-Richard Ah so she was a semi, into games but not weed. That's like buying a current bun with no icing on top. Some of these nerdy gaming girls you see at conventions are stupidly hot. If you were a more conventional looking guy in that environment and not a skinny, awkward nerd, you might be able to shine more and get them interested, especially if you could impress her on Fortnite or something, win a match with her watching. At the moment you'd feel a hand on your groin. It would probably have to be a big gaming convention as I'd imagine that super hot girls aren't exactly the norm there, but at least they'd be interesting and really for me they wouldn't need to be massively hot, just mildly, perhaps in a quirky manner. I bet they'd be massively into films too, especially martial arts. That's another thing girls don't seem to enjoy in general. My ex used raise her eyebrows every time I put Bloodsport on. She'd just sit and wince every time someone got elbowed in the face.

@Carl-Richard Oh I hope he's ok, break ups are awful. I'd imagine that creating a stoner chick is never the same unless she really develops that true passion for it. I've had a couple of girls who'll try it to make me happy but watching them try and use a controller just makes me despair and yearn for a girl who can wield it like a pro and actually play games on hardcore difficulty. I've never seen a girl actually play a game well so that would really do it for me. I'm imagining her telling me to keep loading the bong for her so she doesn't lose momentum

@Yimpa Oh bro where did you find her? She got a sister?

@Emerald God knows why I even said that. I can't even remember writing it but I think I was trying to be humorous, although it just came off as weird reading it back. I think I was trying to allude to the stereotype of gamers not washing much. That's interesting anyway about vaginas being self cleaning though. Based on your description I was referring to the vulva more, so my use of terminology was sloppy.

@Schizophonia A vigorous health regime would need to be followed along with all the weed smoking and gaming

@Adrian colby That's bloody brilliant. Can I ask how you achieved that? Was is a specific program?

@BojackHorseman Trying to understand their genesis sounds like a worthwhile endeavour. Ultimately a therapist would be able to help, surely? Also I'm wondering what chat GPT would throw up. Let's have a look: ChatGPT "It's important to recognize that human sexuality is complex and multifaceted, and there isn't always a single, clear-cut explanation for why someone develops particular sexual preferences or kinks. While some people may be able to trace aspects of their sexuality back to specific experiences or relationships in their past, for many others, the reasons may be more elusive or multifactorial. It's also worth noting that sexual preferences and kinks can be influenced by a wide range of factors, including biology, culture, personal experiences, and individual psychology. While some individuals may find that certain experiences or relationships from their past contribute to their sexual preferences, others may not find any direct correlation. In terms of the relationship between sexual preferences and broader aspects of one's life, it's possible that there may be some connections or overlaps, but again, these relationships can be complex and highly individualized. For some people, aspects of their sexuality may play a role in shaping their identity or relationships, while for others, their sexuality may be more compartmentalized from other areas of their life. Regarding your experience of enjoying both feminine traits and femdom, it's not uncommon for individuals to have diverse or seemingly contradictory sexual interests. Human sexuality is incredibly diverse, and there's no one "right" way to experience it. Many people find that their sexual preferences evolve and change over time, and it's perfectly normal to have a range of interests and desires. If you're struggling to remember significant aspects of your childhood or parents, it may be helpful to explore this further with a therapist or counselor who can provide support and guidance. While childhood experiences can certainly influence aspects of our adult lives, it's also important to remember that our identities and experiences are constantly evolving, and it's never too late to explore and understand ourselves better"

@BojackHorseman good question, I have kinks related to buttholes and toilet stuff The interesting thing is they were with me very early on, before I had any actual experiences. I remember trying to sniff my cat's butt when I was very very young and I had a dream that Teela from he-man peed on my face. What I'm saying is, I think they've always been with me. I was born with them. I like what @Yimpasaid about being shamless. It's very hard for though as my kink is so out there. Anyway my point was that you may have been born with your kinks and there's no psychological reason as such Her lack of leg-wear was essential for manoeuvrability

I was making an image showing an orchestrator working with players and it seems that AI has no conception of people's personal boundaries although saying that, she does look uncomfortable. Maybe he thinks he has personal space 'chad' allowances. Also, look at the length of his finger. This dude has had finger extensions to give himself a competitive advantage with women

@Yimpa As the old adage goes, ask a man about something he's passionate about and he'll talk your ear off, you've found my sweet spot friend. Here then is a video I've made for you on the topic, to honour your curiosity. If you would like the short version and don't have time for such things - you can use certain VR apps as power tools to create environments for strategic thinking and conceptualising. In the video I show you Noda and Horizon Workspaces. Noda is basically mind mapping in VR and it's the 'shit.' You will be Tom Cruise in Minority Report. Watch the video though G

Someone recommended increasing my musical 'palette' as a composer. I made this to upload to my VR workroom and inspire me