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I'll indulge you one last time. I really don't care what you believe about me or yourself. But if you go back and re-read my comments without viewing them as egocentric, nor emotionally reacting to them, maybe the filters will come off more and you will have better understanding. One thing that did occur to me recently is that extroverts may view any kind of detailed analysis as an emotional reaction, since they themselves would only delve so deeply into a subject if they were emotionally invested, agitated and worked up about it. For me as an introvert I am always in contemplative thought, mindful of the difference between critical thinking and emotional reaction, so this kind of writing flows naturally and effortlessly. Perhaps this is why people ascribe all sorts of non-existent emotional frustration to my forum posts, emails and youtube comments. It's just puzzling how I can express myself from a place that feels so calm and detatched from my perspective, but others will read it and get angry angry angry, or assume that's the way I feel. Well this has veered way off the original thread topic...

I write in an emotionally neutral analytical style. What you seem to be doing is filtering plain text and concept emphasis through your own emotional projections and cocksure attitude. Dissecting your reasoning was intended to humble your ego, so you can be objective, take a step back and think like a rational problem-solver. But as I thought might happen in the worst-case-scenario, you take everything as a personal attack and reply with even more arrogant shitposting. I thought this was a self-actualization forum, not 4chan... Done.

The irony is, engaging in mental masturbation by reading and writing about the benefits of no-fap while doing no-fap increases the likelihood of relapsing back to P&M, since I'm still fixating on the habit. If you already experienced what it's like to quit wanking for 2 weeks, 2 months, or longer, you don't need to confirm what you already know. Come back to share your experiences one you've broken another personal record. My record is 67 days, so if I don't fap from now until December maybe I'll post a 100 day report, and other that that just some short personal journal entries to document my progress without obsessing over it. Earlier this month I have literally went and fapped the moment after writing for 30 minutes about how no-fap is so great. Really counter-intuitive, the monkey mind will do anything to get me to sacrifice my seed. Succeed at no-fap by not thnking about no-fap. It's like the game. This thread is teal deer and I fapped a few days ago anyway. What I do find useful though is, once it's been 30 days or so, to watch some videos to remind myself why I want to keep going longer. By then I will have had enough no-fap time invested that thinking about fapping in the context of not fapping won't tempt me to just throw it away, but if I start doing no-fap research only a few days in I'll likely feel like just fapping again. It's like when someone tells you "don't think of a pink elephant." To stop thinking about fapping means also stop thinking about not fapping.

I used the words think and should in the sense that escalting these types of conflicts tends to backfire badly in real life, not as a personal value judgment. I don't take myself so seriously, but telling someone apply to PUA tricks and social manipulation tactics to a simple dispute with a neighbor they have no relationship with, even asserting right off the bat that it's "The only real way to get around this issue" suggests you take yourself way too seriously, that is a value judgment on my part. My gander is that you rely heavily on algorithms that serve you well in important areas of your life, like business, but also project them onto situations where cooperation, not competition, is the more realistic method of solving a problem. From personal experience, there have been many issues in my apartment building over the years which were easily handled by talking to a neighbor or calling the manager. You seem to view things only in terms of exerting power and forcing others to submit to one's influence. Have you ever heard of diplomacy and mediation? Now after reading the rest of your replies, I'd guess you're probably inclined to pigeonhole the concepts of diplomacy and mediation into a stage of spiral dynamics. Again, that would be tkaing yourself, and that model, way too seriously, applying black and white thinking to grey realities, like people who have to live amongst each other finding ways to get along peacably.

Sounds really snakey, and your post reminds me of the PUA stuff. I don't think you should take getting neighbors to mind their noise the same way you go about picking up women or selling cars. Not sure how it is in the UK or what the specifics of OP's situation are, but where I am in the US it's generally frowned upon to bother other residents in an apartment complex. For some reason the dynamic is very different than between homeowners with houses next to each other, or at least how it's portrayed on television, randomly knocking on each others; doors to borrow a teapot or something. If you have a problem you first talk to the building manager, but if you have to go direct, be polite and understanding, since you may have to live next to this person for who knows how long. Don't want to get on people's bad sides- don't shit where you eat. If you rub them the wrong way or they see through your attempts at manipulating them, they could purposely make things worse for you, I guess for OP that would be intentionally slamming the door loudly whenever it closes. Sounds like they already got pissed off at him though, so at this point its past the possibility for polite dialogue, and just call the manager or police. If it is a lawless anarchy over there though and no one will help, one thing I would do if I was in that situation is ask if you can glue on some kind of rubber or foam buffer to the edge of the door so it won't slam when closed, demonstrating on your door to show them.

Indeed, the apartment building and neighborhood I'm in just seems to get more noisy with every passing year. Learned to cope by setting up as comfortable a sleep environment as I can manage and making changes so I'm not easily disturbed by noise- basically earplugs and white noise at sleep time, and always drown out unpleasant sounds with my speakers during the rest of the time I am at home and awake. Actually I have had that habit for 3-4 years, since I once had some bad tinnitus. Having music on all the time helped me cope with the tinnitus, and even when that was no longer an issue, found I'm actually in a way better mood when music is constantly playing at home. But it sounds like, for you the anxiety over the noise is more of a problem than the noise itself. Certainly, if there are means available you should write a complaint to the the manager about maintenance issues or other tenants making unreasonable noise. It's usually never a good idea to confront neighbours directly, as they may take it to be a personal affront. Regardless, you should not let the possibility of disturbances affect your mood, make you anxious or hard to fall asleep. For me I've had to deal with the reality that I could be woken up at any moment for so long that it's something I no longer worry about at all, I just go to bed when my body is ready, grateful for any sleep that will come, grateful for the rare times I'm able to actually sleep in and feel so refreshed coffee isn't even necessary. And overcoming anxiety about my living situation has allowed me to get much better quality sleep, even though it sometimes isn't enough, or as long as I'd like. By the way I took that picture of my bed after receiving a replacement cover for the topper last month. Not trying to market or show off, just seemed relevant to the topic.

Yes I found chanting mantra to be the most direct way to personal transcendence, and lasting personal transformation thereafter. The bare minimum "spiritual work" I do every day is to passionately chant AUM several times long and deep. A yogi form India once told me that Sanskrit is more than a language, but a sacred system of sounds that corresponds directly with the bodies energies. This explanation made a lot more sense than the new age woo woo about invoking angels or summoning the spirits of all who've ever sung such words. Regardless, I don't think it matters what I believe about any specific mantra, if anything, and I dare say that mantra meditation is a stage turquoise experience. It is about merging with and becoming the sound itself, losing all sense of self-ness, entering a post-rational realm that transcends everything else that is normal human experience. Intensely vibrating sound currents like aum, or repeatedly chanting a mantra feels like it bypasses the thinking and sensing parts of the body, which is why it is so powerful. Sometimes I chant a cappella , or along with a track, which has the added benefit of regulating breath patterns as part of the meditation. Never done much of silent meditation, so I can't compare the two, but I can assert that diving right into mantra chanting is the most accessible way for anyone to experience meditation immediately. Particularly useful if you want meditative experiences but lack the discipline, time or ability to stay seated for zazen style meditation. I find that I can change sitting positions and also alternate between standing up, kneeling and lying down with my knees up during mantra meditations and it doesn't detract from the soundwork.

Sitting over a soft yoga block, usually the skinny kind, I found to be the most comfortable position for cross-legged sitting half-lotus. My outer leg falls asleep still if I sit long, but that happens in any position, at least when propped up on the block there is no pressure on my lower back and hips. Also when sitting in a chair I can position a skinny yoga block horizontally around my mid-spine to keep in a straight position

Yes. I do notice that whenever I watch/hear a lot of someone on screen, be it Tom Cruise, Kelsey Grammer, Donald Trump or Leo Gura, I start to think, talk and act like them. Though I only recall this happening with other male voices. This is a common phenomenon because the mind is very permeable and suggestible, far more so than anyone realizes- the sense of self, your preferences, attitudes and beliefs are fluid. This mechanism is how you can watch a video about a subject, and then feel highly knowledgeable and highly motivated afterwards, as if you assumed the personality of the speaker. Becoming aware of this is part of the process of realizing that you are not your thoughts, and your thoughts are not even you. How much of your personality is originally "you" and how much is subconsciously adopted from other people you've encountered or observed throughout your life? And more profound questions about the nature of you-ness and the lack thereof will follow. Regardless, if I'm reading the book I find it very useful to find a video of the author speaking, so I can read it in their voice and mannerisms.

I am in a similar situation, sleeping in the living room of an apartment and dealing with constant noise disturbances from all sides (outside the apartment, from the building hallway, other people in the apartment, and the wall with the next apartment), and mitigating the anxiety that comes with it- no way to relocate anytime soon either. I will share some things I do to cope with it. First of all recognize that any emotional reaction to disturbing or unpleasant noises is a large part of it. Yes you may be able to improve the situation by taking some measures to physically tune it out or get it to stop, but you will have to accept this suffering as a part of life, and separate the experience of hearing noise, or not getting enough sleep, from you internal reality. Having this sort of stoic Buddhist approach to the whole thing is really my only option, for what good does it do to allow myself to feel distressed, angry or depressed? I don't attach any value to it, sounds are sounds, sleep is sleep, so is 'involuntary wakefulness.' This attitude alone allows me to more easily resume sleep after interruption. Firstly I made sure I got the most comfortable mattress and bedding possible, so I can be totally relaxed and super cozy in bed. Much easier to fall asleep initially and resume sleep, and even I can't sleep at the moment, fell to comfortable to be frustrated about it. If you're a side sleeper like me don't be afraid to use mattress toppers and body pillows, they've done wonders for my quality of sleep. While sleeping I keep all the windows closed tightly, no matter how it it is, put on white noise such as the sound of rain, and foam earplugs. It took a few tries to find earplugs that fit comfortably enough I don't notice them but snugly enough to block out most noise. I then set the white noise just loud enough to hear it softly with one ear on the pillow and the other facing up with an earplug in securely, so that the white noise covers up other things which are unpleasant to hear or cause me to wake up. Right now I also use a fan on high setting because I have no air conditioning, and the sound of the fan, combined with the rain noise, and muffled by the earplug may also be helping. Regardless of how well I sleep I do wake up a few times, and instinctively need to switch sides, and thus switch the earplug too, the fall asleep again very quickly. Don't get flustered if this happens, as I've learned it's normal for people to have few sleep, interruptions during the night, and you might still experience that if you slept in the perfect bed amidst perfect silence. After waking up, and basically the entire time I am at home, I am always listening to music- or making it, watching a video, etc, since it drowns out sounds like doors slamming, dogs barking and people yelling outside. I never been a fan of silent mediation, I do breath mediation to a track, super deep breathing exercises, or chant mantra, all of these do wonders for cultivating deep inner peace. Even just passionately chanting AUM transforms me instantly, and I'm far less reactive on all fronts. One more thing is I always like to keep cold-brew coffee on hand. Or equally strong tea if you prefer. Sometimes I don't get enough sleep, for whatever reason, and am still tired. But it's already 8AM or later and my body won't let me fall back asleep even if I have the time. At this point using benign stimulants like coffee and tea helps me get out of the languishing mood to the point where I feel energetic enough to do some meditations and go through the rest of my day no feeling groggy. And this actually helps me sleep better the next day, since I've found that being too tired in the evening actually leads to less restful sleep than winding down within an hour of being ready for bed. Hopefully some of this helps and I'm not just being self-referential.