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About Brdman

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  1. @integral well it would seem so I guess, just feels hella sketchy like all the "ILLUMINATI/SECRET/ACTIVATION" videos on youtube. I mean it's pretty to think about it so I wondered what Leo would think of this. It's nice how he blends all the religions together with human anatomy as well. @Leo Gura
  2. Can Freebased 5 meo dmt be snorted?
  3. Why loving myself is so hard? I had multiple insights and experiences that every creation and every moment of this eternity is made from love for love, from me for me just expressed in different ways, but in the end I always feel like I want to run from myself. Like I'm dying instead of living. I know that all answers are within me, I ask God what I want to know and he provides me the answer the moment I finish my question. I have been working on transforming that fear to love for 3 or 4 years now, and I am in the place the same as when I started. I stopped meditating long time ago because it get too intense physical. I'm surrendering always to everything but the fear is so rooted in me. I can't express myself through conversation or any day to day experience.,.I can only feel alive when I take a high dose of shrooms or 4aco dmt when I die mentally, when I surrender to death. Those are the only times I feel love and peace with myself. If you have any advice for me, i would be thankful.
  4. @wk197 the craziest sht I ever seen. What I described to you is only 0.001% of what the actual experience was, I was probably too young for this, 18yo. But definitely love is the foundation on which all creation came to be, I cried for two hours because everything was perfect, everything from me, for me, to be me for infinity. When I say me, I think about you. But yeah, afterlife is now and always will be, you can make it be, whatever you want it to be.
  5. I only had one experience of when I had a glimpse of God, it was when I took 30mg of 4aco-dmt(not sure maybe there was much more). I was dying in 10000 ways, I was trying to grasp something that I thought was me, until everything went away. It was lasting for 2 hours, but in my head I was there for eternity, my life flashed before my eyes again and again, random pictures were piercing my mind every second tons and tons of pictures in just a few seconds, I was trying with my whole might to return back to life, vomiting, crying, screaming. When I opened my eyes it was the same as when I close my eyes. I wasn't aware that all that nothingness that I was trying to get away from was me, I was everything, but it was so hard to accept that I died, and another eternity passed, until I heard a song that my friend played on the speaker, what is love by haddaway. And after several eternities I finally was like, I can't resist anymore, I just let go for the first time in my life I truly let go of something and that nothingness in which I was started to become a white light and I could feel that I was never that little me, I was everything all this time for eternity. I was getting back to seeing again with my eyes, I was in a room with no light, but when I first entered the room it was a bright day, and I was lying under the bed, I don't know how I got there. And I left the little shack in which I was for 2.5 hours. I was thinking this it, I'm going to afterlife, heaven. But I had no physical body, no limits, I was everything. And when I entered the house in which 10 of my friends who I know 15 years, were all sitting around being weird because of psychedelics. I was for sure that this is the afterlife, I hugged everyone, even though in the eyes of some I could see fear that controls their life, all I saw was beauty and love masked as fear. Everything was love, everything. I called my mom said I love her. I understood everything that can be understood, it was love, absolute.For the next two days I was enlightened, First time I felt peace of mind. That was two years ago, that was the worst and the best experience of my liffe.
  6. @FoxFoxFox Really?! Rali was a rapper, I watched Rali 2 years ago or so, never knew about that. He was active few months ago on youtube, he went through a lot of shit. Hope he is doing good now.
  7. Cyne - Paradise, Cathatsis, 400 years Nujabes- all his work, try There is Nujabes and Cyne together, like Nujabes ft Cise starr(Cyne) - Feather Nujabes ft Shingo - luv