DrewNows

@billiesimonThis is the real you hiding under your conditioning/fear but you've yet to understand how youre getting in your own way. This has to be figured out in the process of interacting with women. if you want to be honest with your friend simply tell her you cant see her for a while because you don't respect yourself and you need to work on that. You don't gotta spill your guts out and make your friendship awkward or end it. Simply commit to giving yourself the love to grow and learn through dating/interaction

@flowboy dude you’re telling him to end his fake friendship simply by getting rejected by her because it’s going to make him feel better? ? He’s simply not being honest with himself. Since when has an end to any long relationship ever caused a guy to go work on himself and change his ways immediately? Never.

Dude he hasn’t done anything but admit to himself he’s fucking up. That’s step one. Next is to do the work and go get rejected “properly”

Could it be she simply enjoys your company and caring attitude? Believe me I know players who have many friends who are girls and they can both be friendly and flirty with any of them. Nothing has to be serious, you just have to learn not to be insecure and needy or afraid of rejection take it or leave it dude but I’m just saying. I was exactly like you and had cycle after cycle of “friendzoned” experiences and horrible suffering because I took it too seriously and didn’t work on myself

It’s not a mess, only you are the mess. Take care of your shit and leave her out of it. Maybe in a month or 2 you can hang out with her and tell her all about how you’ve been working on yourself and you no longer have any attachment to her she will see you completely different and you won’t be afraid to hit on her and tease her playfully

He’s not ending the friendship. He will simply be unavailable for a month or so to work on his dating game and mindset The only bullet is his way of thinking and inauthenticity. Why hurt someone else when they aren’t the problem? He has already admitted to not being willing to be her friend if she rejects him. He needs to go out and be authentic, daring, masculine and learn. Suffering does not improve these areas in of itself

@flowboy completely disagree about him needing to get rejected. That’s not the way to get rejected. Not only will he be hurting himself but her as well (I know from experience) Its apparent you can’t hold a genuine friendship at this time @billiesimon so it is important you simply begin the work on your mindset and do not hang out with your “friend” until you have started dating other girls. (You can simply come up with excuses if she reaches out) Your black and white thinking (girls can be a friend or a date) is completely unnecessary and categorizing them in your head this way will serve no one well

OMG i am guilty of this as well

@Shin depends when you workout, if at night, go to bed but if at morning, GET BACK TO WORK! In my experience, working out gives me more energy throughout the day

I didn’t have any expectations, thanks for sharing! Interesting allegory. Glad to have Gurdjieff as a source

Body building is a mastery skill that can lead to higher states of awareness but bringing high awareness into it could definitely result in speedy progression

Get back on the horse brother! Set your self up to fail, or maybe you will succeed but make a plan. And be conscious all the way through it’s end. It can be plan to meet someone new or simply do something you’re sure you need to do but will inevitably fail at.... edit: baby steps, challenge yourself to appreciate them all!

I am not familiar with Sedona Method but as for emotional release, it seems it happen on it's own without any kind of will or method. Of course any sort of resisting will perpetuate the state. So if there was a method, i would describe it as becoming completely attune and accepting of the state in its presence without judgement, rejection, or need for it's end. Through this process of allowing it to be, there may be a release and a shift in state (maybe this makes some sense, and carries benefit)

@Zigzag Idiot hmm ? I was asking about how Leo and gurd each resonate with you personally (see the edit) i will however gladly watch the video there. The speaker isn’t anything special in how the sharing of all his opinions haha but whatever. strange at the end talking about if you don’t eat your egg someone else will ?‍♂️ But I love the talk on negative imagination ?

@Zigzag Idiot this is my first listening of Gurd, but I love reflecting on my own experience with any and everything new I stumble upon. Just checked out the buffers video, another spot on familiarity based off my experiences for a good time I had completely dreamless sleep and absolutely loved it. Funny as I had been quite the night owl with an avoidance to sleep much of life how do their teachings resonate with you personally? (Leo and Gurd)

@Zigzag Idiot love the vid, resonate with it quite strongly also I’ve done a few of those developing will practices on my own, but I enjoy the breaking routine sort of ideas proposed haha

@Knock Appreciate you sharing this very clean and well put together outer focus approach to managing addiction in one's environment perceived as separate from us, because, in the sense of duality. it surely is. Without fully understanding the inner, there's going to be an infinite amount of ways to go about dealing with the outer, but ALL of which will be susceptible to falling victim to one's old addictions. For example if your life goes to shit in a specific area and you will need a way to cope, then again we may fall victim to our addictions

@Knock why don’t share some...? i suppose what you mean by friction is movement to draw attention back to the now, something as simple as breathing

Bingo. So this and meditation Addiction is behavior which simply becomes an unconscious conditioning pattern. It is the form of psychological escape, distraction, and continuation of the false sense of self in thinking also fear of addiction (being an addict) can and will only strengthen it. Bring conscious awareness to the patterns until you understand the underlying cause then stop feeding the patterns with your attention. Bring attention back to presence/allow love even use gratitude. Don’t bother with using mental effort to resist as the urges will persist

An interesting turn this discussion has taken As long as cravings arise, they do serve a purpose as being a message to you. Your lack of self esteem is the issue right? Does playing the game give you self esteem? I mean you express no fear, no worry or stress. Seems this is an escape. Maybe you played games as a kid, do you think you expressed/would have expressed yourself differently as a kid experiencing the game more emotions, being loud and excited, sad, expressive etc? These emotions DO NOT necessarily have to impact your playing abilities, as you seem to well know! Attention on breath is simply how to create that space of awareness, during times of breaks in the game you can simply notice your style of breathing, is it coming from the chest or stomach. Chest breathing is more susceptible to feeling anxious and stressed. We always have the space of awareness available without having to actually focus on it, Outward focus causes us to lose the inward awareness my challenge to you: Why don't you practice expressing your emotions purposefully/meaningfully during your gaming sessions, and i mean all your emotions, the happy, sad, angry, worry, pain etc BUT take the "backseat" in your awareness of all the thoughts/emotions/sensations during the entire experience. The point of this is to help you understand how you suppress emotions unknowingly and fear/avoid/shame yourself with the negative emotions, and also to realize you can feel both pain and suffering in a good way. edit: excited to hear how this little experiment may go for you, It really is a beautiful thing to experience yourself entirely

A few thoughts: self love can be simply creating opportunities to do things that make you feel good (maybe they will increase your self esteem, like exercise tends to do, or maybe it makes you feel good doing things with or for your family) recognize that everything you do is selfish, even those things you claim to do completely for others as you’ve self sacrificed, making their desire more important than your own. So there’s creating healthy habits. Things like giving yourself time to process emotions/stress, being honest with yourself and your intentions, not self shaming or recognizing when you do, fully committing to what you plan to do, using simple breathing techniques (stomach breathing) and emotional processing to lower stress, will greatly reduce food cravings and raise mindfulness btw these are all self love aspects im either doing, wanting to bring back or starting in my own life. I’m a stomach ill add this: recognizing your forms of escape/coping mechanisms, simply to bring awareness into the activities like gaming and watching shows, it’s not about eliminating these activities but recognizing when they are being used to avoid facing your own inner demons. Maybe next time you’re watchin a show you will also be doing stomach breathing and noticing emotions/state of mind. I’ve been bringing new levels of awareness into all my activities (so even work) and it’s creating a beautiful experience always full of unsuspected insight and love Edit: if you enjoy podcast, “spirit purpose and energy” has some awesome content for getting in touch with you feminine side

I like the awareness and reflection I read here in your latest update, gonna comment more after my nap. (2nd time writing this ?) didn’t get that nap but instead chose to go help out my uncle enjoyed the contemplation on your weight loss endeavor and it reminded me of helping a friend train to be stronger/more fit for soccer Here’s questions you can ask yourself: what does the health of your body mean to you? Do you see fitness/hard work and healthy eating to be an act of self love? What does self love mean to you and how do you practice it? What are the benefits of creating a healthy body? The quantity and quality of the food you consume affects health more than the amount of fitness/hard work done ime awesome realization about questioning the purpose of the emotions that arise. Teal said when we get triggered to feel “upset” we can see it as “set up” by the universe to look into and learn why we have them

@tsuki you saying i might as well delete what i wrote? (she probably knows exactly what she's doing)

Hey turn that finger around! maybe you want you to be a certain way. Maybe you can’t accept yourself. You feel like you need to be open hearted and love the world, well guess what, you don’t! You can work through this need to be other than how you are. It does not matter what you leave behind, it only matters how you continue to be you, are you resisting or integrating? (I realize some of this was already discussed but I’m simply making sure you know the ball is always in your court)

@ivankiss In the video i shared they discuss healing the inner child, understanding pain and anger, and how we unknowingly abandon aspects of ourselves, abandonment being subtle resistance/prolonged suffering due to lack of integration