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@nethernalbeing It's so unwanted right now though. I need intense focus to obtain my university degree. I don't want to deal with this stuff right now but it is so overwhelming I am not sure how to handle it. I am glad I could lose the "grip" on those worries I had before. I was suffering so deeply, and all of it is gone almost now. But I am still having a very hard time focussing.

@Leo Gura I don't really agree with that statement. Ok, extroverts usually have more friends and can more easily talk to people, it doesn't mean they don't have as many close friends as introverts would have. For me for example, I have 3-4 very close and deep friendships, and lots of other more "shallow" friendships. It's more like an and/and instead of or/or

What is your guys view on Maslow's hierarchy of needs vs self-actualization? Self-actualization is on the top of Maslow's hierarchy and the rule is that all other steps must be fulfilled before reaching the top shelf. These include, as you all probably know, food, shelter, warmth, security, sense of belonging. This means that self-actualization is dependent on all of this previous steps. If one of these falls away, you will no longer feel fulfilled / alive. (eg. sense of belonging), you'll still be dependent on your friends / family etc. eg if your spouse makes you feel unhappy, treats you badly suddenly, even though you might be happy, suddenly this sense of belonging starts to be in danger, so you drop a "step". You will try to fulfill this step again, and try to move up again, like a Jo-Jo. What is your view on this?

@Leo Gura No, I meant to say "According to Maslow, the rule is.."

@Nahm Lol I was meditating with headphones while listening to music and I heard a sound didn't know where it was coming from but it was you quoting me. Something silly just happened, I was getting deeper into my meditation and then I juts felt my arm sting, and I felt some tingly feeling in my arm. I thought it might be an effect of meditating, that inner feelings are being externalized or something I don't know. I just look at my arm now and it was just a big mosquito sting now my arm is itching like crazy

@Nahm I guess it's mostly because of the fuss going on about enlightenment. And also the idea of "meditation" in the other section is very easy to grasp. So it's something where people feel kind of "attracted to", since they are more familiar with these concepts. Self-actualization is something harder to grasp for someone who isn't really knowledgeable maybe? For me, I never heard about self-actualization before visiting this forum.

Exactly how I thought about this. It feels like a lot of people just "ignore" their "problems" or "unfinished business". It's like a foundation that is destined to crumble. It's like building a house on a foundation that is not strong, not solidified, not taken care of. One might be able to live in this bliss for a while, convincing yourself of the opposite, but sooner or later the reality will hit you when this foundation will be challenged. When an unfortunate event will take place, challenging this foundation. Consequently, that beautiful utopia you have built for yourself will crumble to pieces and you'll need to build it up once again, just to fall to pieces once more with each setback. I feel like being honest an genuine to ones-self is very under appreciated. Knowing yourself fully well and working on your own inner demons, learning to live with them and creating an indestructible foundation for you to feel fully alive anywhere, anytime, in any situation.

Thank you very much dear fellow, I will take a look into it! <3 Have a great day, thank you for clearing some of my doubts. Big love.

I get that, but 'sense of belonging' is something that, feels to me, is dependent on the people you surround yourself with, no? If this environment crumbles, it seems like this "sense of belonging" becomes in danger meaning that you're not on the top of the shelf anymore. What if you suddenly become poor and don't have money for food anymore. Is there any room for self-actualizaiton, because the fulfillment of shelter and food would come in danger. Also, how does one complete their unfinished business? Maybe I'm missing something..

Sounds like you're jealous and very bitter to be honest. And what @Truth said. Nothing happened, one should act more 'quick'.

Hey all, I have been diagnosed with AD(H)D and OCD, and to be honest, it can be very very very hard. I haven't been feeling like this for a pretty long time (at least a year), but last few months have been very hard mentally. It feels like my mind/brain is constantly looking for something negative to 'grab onto', and it gets triggered very easily by things that are not 'ideal'. Let me first illustrate this with an easy example: When I have nothing to worry about or hang onto mentally, it can be something very random. Like something I am reading or studying can grasp my attention, like a word that is written bigger than another word. Then I start questioning 'why is this written bigger, it must be more important', so I want to make sure that I read it properly, which creates a 'loop', because I have been 'triggered' by that word. Then I just can't get this word out of my head and I have to convince myself that the word is not all that important to put so much focus onto it, but at the same time I feel like it is and it always somewhere present in my mind. But it can get much worse in real-life situations when something negative (or something I perceive as negative), happens. Don't get me wrong, I am a very positive person, I'm always smiling, love to have fun, have enough friends around. But at the same time I am very sensitive, mostly to people I really care about. When something happens where I feel that I have been disrespected, or maltreated, my mind can really focus on it very deeply and sometimes it is very hard to get out of it. I know the thoughts are irrational, and I know it is me acting stupid, but sometimes I just cannot resist the tricks my mind is playing on me. It is like I always find a reason to go into this negative loop and try to make sense out of a situation, and it puts me in like a zombie-like state. Sometimes my friends catch me in this phase and have to snap their fingers to get me out of it again. It can stick with me for very long. I don't know why it happens. Maybe it is because deep down I am very insecure although I do not feel like I really am. I am confident in my skin, I know how to socialize, I make new friends very easily, no problems talking with girls, etc. But still, when something is unresolved, or I feel like I couldn't say what I had to say in a certain situation; but it feels like everything has already been closed for the other person and they don't want to talk about it anymore, I am stuck there with my negative and mixed feelings, trying to find an escape to let go of my thoughts, but they just stick with me and I have a hard time getting over them. Feeling fully confident that they are irrational and don't matter is something I have a hard time dealing with. Actually, I didn't have it this bad for a long time. But when situations occur I just cannot deal with them properly. This can be applied to situations. But with the 'word', just bugging me for a few minutes to an hour, and situations bugging me for months to years. I am not sure how to deal with it sometimes. I try meditation and it helps me get back my awareness and rational state, but after a while it just all gets back to me.

@Nahm Slapping eachother in the face?? Haha

@Nahm Haha what you mean with that

@Nahm alright I'll take a look. I'm pretty good at not giving a shit about anything anyone says to me except when they're very good friends. Then it gets tricky. And yes I'm under 25

If I'm not mistaken Eckhart Tolle Is a Christian and refers to God a lot in his books

@Nahm I love you, the way you are able to express the concepts and ideas you have about being able to handle situations, and intrusive unwanted negative thoughts which mostly have a very complex origin is really inspiring. Never change that.

I'm very sorry to hear that.. Have you read the book 'The Power Of Now' by Eckhart Tolle? It can give you some perspective on your problems. Have you realized that there is nothing wrong with you? That the people who bullied/bully you have their own problems that they are projecting on you? Have you ever tried turning things around? Doing some crazy thing, a crazy experience. I don't know at which stage you are in your life, but if you're student you could try to go abroad for some time? No chance in meeting your bullies / having awkard situations and connect with people whom you've never met before. It could give you a total new view on socializing, connecting with people. It could help you get over your social anxiety and to give things a place. Of course it's not solved in 1-2-3 but you have to believe that it is possible to return to a peaceful state again. Everyone has their own issues they have to work through and I am happy to hear that you recognize your problems and that you work on them. I hope to hear some updates about you and your mental state, I really wish you the very best. It's sad to see how some people can create such suffer and trauma to other people without even realizing it..

Is there really still a difference between males and females? I am asking this because I was watching Leo's video 'How To Be a Man'; which implies a strict code on what it is to be 'masculine' and how to be a 'man', but I feel like this is a bit close-minded when thinking about it in a more open way? Is there really a difference between males and females? Or is it all based on social construct on how we should behave, which is shaped by our ego and an egotistical society.. Is there really a difference between males and females when we talk about enlightened people? If said person is enlightened, ego-dead, does not identify with its mind anymore but is one with the world and doesn't listen to his ego.

Hello all, So I wanted to ask your opinions / knowledge / advice about the importance of drinking the right amount of water. Since I have been a kid, I have been hooked to drinking milk, and still (now at 24), I have this habit of drinking a lot of milk, daily. I drink it for breakfast, for lunch and for dinner. When I am at home (I am a student), I don't drink water at all. I drink 1-1.5l of milk a day, but not a drop of water. How bad is this habit? Should I change it? I don't feel like it has negative effects on me at all. But maybe I am missing out on something?

@Igor82 Interesting. I always eat potatoes together with milk. Maybe I should change that! @wpw and@InfinitePotential Thanks for the info! @Quanty That's crazy.. I am still stuck in the mind however, haha.

So I just read this post by someone claiming romantic love does not exist, and "every girls loves a guy by ego interest not by pure love". I thought it was interesting to discuss this in a topic. What does that say about guys anyways? I feel that it is 'sexist' if you do not validate the opposite statement, or to be even more general; constructing a general statement: Every person loves another person by ego interest, not by pure love. However, I feel like this statement is false.. Why? Well, first of all; out of my own experience; Not that it really matters, but my sexuality is not based on gender, but on persons. If I am attracted to a certain person (no matter what gender, it just my 'gut' that talks,), I listen to it. I had this relationship with a guy that I just saw in the distance while in a party. I felt this immense strong attraction power that I never felt before. I am not sure where it came from but it was one of the biggest feelings I had ever felt. Now, this is a non-traditional feeling to have, certainly since 'homosexuality' is looked down upon in most cultures and society. Which already questions this statement; why would a person be attracted, or go into a romantic relationship, feeling 'romantic love' for someone that does not conform to societal standards, when whatever we do in love is by ego interest? I am sure that this does not give interest to the ego in the slightest since all it does is going against what you have learned on how to behave and how to be. Taking all the negativity in just to be able to express your sincere feelings? Also, I dated this guy for 2 years and I never felt that this was out of my ego. I just genuinely loved this person. I loved his presence, his energy, his way of living and his way of 'being'. Although, of course, we did not always agree, there was this 'bigger thing', that was above us which would deem every argument as more 'superficial' against the profound love we had for each other. I don't know, I thought it was interesting to look at; because although I do think people sometimes 'love' out of self-interest (and with this, I am thinking more about toxic relationships), I think all truly healthy relationships, are not built on feeding your ego, but just out of genuine for the other person. If your romantic attraction is based on feeding your ego, this seems purely narcissistic and bound to fail, because if the other persons fails to admire you and your ego, then it all falls apart very quickly.

@Ingit not sure why being a medical student is relevant to going into your thoughts, but you should remember that you are not your thoughts.. you shouldn't identify with them. You can't find answers in your thoughts since they are mostly your ego taking. What are you trying to find in your thoughts? It's just a waste if energy. Important is to focus in the Now.

@Michael569 Hello! I think I can actually do pretty much whatever without consequences now that you say that. I have never been really been 'sick' either (apart from the occasional cold, and once I had food poisoning while travelling in Asia) (but I hope karma doesn't get me now). Anyways, I grew up in Belgium in a bigger city, right on the outside of it, so no special region.

I think, what he means, is instead trying to 'get rid of it', trying to run away from it, you should acknowledge it and then let go mindfully. When negative thoughts occur, just acknowledge their existence, but don't judge them, don't analyse them, just let them be as they are. But do not engage with them.

This is scary to me, I have never heard of such a thing but I am intrigued. So it came to you as a vision of some sort? Or what gave you the information? Still a lot to learn I see.