Talinn

I appreciate being able to read this, particularly in the dream elements and the patronage of your mother's femininity

The purpose of this forum is literally to raise individual and collective consciousness such that this neednt be the norm. I mean, what are we doing here, we can't aspire to any other notion of femininity? You're chewing on metal and telling us all it's the only way to eat

I got different results every time I went to a different website... iSFP INFP INFJ

Yep I'm sort of like this too! I can't smell from birth, auditory and visual stimuli have also had an extremely strong accent for me. Meditation is good enough for me.

Yeah I've wanted to live and die so badly my heart physically hurts from my non existence, the way reality blends together and the way everything drips beauty. The soul's a tense wire that's going to snap under the strain of pleasantness. I used to listen to music, now I have to create it to not be annoyed. I'm playing the harp. I don't even take psychedelics, if I did I'd be doubly screwed . You find a way to live in whatever the fuck universe we live in.

I'm not one to sit on a toxic rotary table forever , but claiming Emerald was upset that she couldn't be "king of the thread' is extra odd phrasing for a person who took explicit pride in being a woman ...

The moons of the planet Uranus - which were named after a poem called "The Rape of the Lock" in testament to women's supposed duties, all have less eccentricity than this thread.... I appreciate all the men here . We couldn't live without men. The problem is you can't explain away different methods of being in short blurbs of text, it's a fool's errand.

Good for a short spell of time after you've worked too hard for a while. Unsatisfying if you're balancing your life correctly.

True. I don't post much but when I do write, half the time it's for the beauty of language.

I think Emerald was defending her mind and you may be tethering assumptions to that. I daresay it's hard to feel crippled as a woman, as it's what's in the innate structure of the soul. You're either fighting for it in healthy ways or unhealthy ways. Someone would have to batter you for a long time to feel any real shame in it; even then you could synthesize new ideas for growth.. I believe that spiritual essences fall down under a different light when they're expressed by women in this space. It attracts scrutiny because it is so precise to what other members are lacking in their spiritual journeys. This could naturally breed tension and rivalry. I was attracted to Leo's videos because they are no-bullshit and little fluff. Yet, I am prone to criticizing him. The same thing is happening with men criticizing women, I'd wager. Critcizing their own blind spots. And the pickup subculture in this community is sterile of any spiritual distinctiveness, also marginally hostile to women at least on an intellectual basis.

Thank you for being a blessing to the world, Emerald. This website is based on a 90 degree plunge to the truth, with little relational probing to determine whether you're hitting a rock or hitting another person digging. And you get poor manners because your head is sore. If you trace the aesthetics of a place, you can often find the relational vibrancy and cohesion. Here is only black and white. Functional yes, artistic no. I never believed this place was a cult per se, but the presentation of the website could be improved such that masculinity is made less the imperative. Leo's portrait is still on the front page, can we not think of any other art that presents a relationship to Truth? It needn't be cliche. Leo's book list is that bed of feathers he rests his head on every night before the dawn comes and he'll tell you he's flying solo. Every time he says, "form your own opinions." , it is by necessity of being online - a cold stone going down into the Earth with no attempt at shared understanding. (This is a problem stemming from the nature of being online, but aesthetics will draw you to an idea, and most things draw towards masculinity).

Like I could be wrong, but from what I can tell from a few hours of research is this is just a mother being poisoned by psychiatric medications, hopefully this is a wake up call to psychiatric providers

They give you an overabundance of pills in each bottle, so you can easily have an adverse reaction to one of the psych medications after a very short period of time. Then when you look into her cabinet you see mostly full bottles and be like " oh she didn't take them", it's like...no, they just give you a lot per trip. The last psychiatric medications I took was Zoloft 20 years and in two days it made me extremely depressed extremely quickly, had to dump a full bottle

She was poisoned by neurotoxins, I think something like a fifth or so of doctors with the ability to prescribe psychiatric medications should lose their licenses. These drugs are no joke but many doctors don't understand them. The line between love and insanity is thinner than what people would like to believe. Post partum depression = love your kids too much, hence become depressed Post partum psychosis = love your kids too much, hence lose contact with reality

I bought testosterone at 17 or 18 to go through half of male puberty because of a genetic disorder . Three years later I largely threw it in the trash and fully medically transitioned to estrogen. I took it for 10 years since then. You'd have to take either hormone for a while for it to fully manifest, in which case the differences are astounding. By that point you start paying the price in terms of your family and society saying you're an idiot and all that . The beauty in estrogen is unmatched and you may be able to notice immediately. If not there are a million other considerations to make to improve your life. Gender transition is indeed very complex and entangled in trouble and good vibes. But on the other hand I think I am also trying to simply sound profound, taking testosterone vs. estrogen is similar in some ways. It can be more philosophically illuminating to try to focus on the similarities. Unity and all that.

Yeah I got unusually annoyed after the "trans in sports" thing when intersex people weren't mentioned. Useful to always do deep-reflection on yourself. Actually I thought you were kind of pretty positive! To be honest after reading your blog I have to admit that thinking of a can of beans and invoking beans randomly into conversations helped me not be so toxic, it's so benign and random! I still use it... I don't know what happened to "beans" i hope it's okay if I say that...

the expression "green with envy" Historically it was a superstition that if you were envious , your color would turn a sickly green.

Music is a centrifuge +thought accelerant. Accelerating bullshit to purify it. It blends intuited outcomes and truths - and pre-existing lower quality thoughts - throws them into a blender and discharges them in a colorful dance ring.

Something like 3,309 days ± 30-60 days, kinda forgot tbh

My issue with being compared to spiders as per the videos in this thread is that either we're categorized as one off two things. Either we're Jeff the Spider from Billy and Mandy, a silly distortion of truth that poses no real threat to people or we are Ungoliant sinking chelicerae into the roots of Telperion & Laurelin, draining the light of the world. When people say , " don't reduce us to genitals in relationships" , all this is an expression of gender dysphoria which can be expressed a thousand ways to Sunday. Either you're in your room being depressed it doing nothing about it; or you're fixing the problem yourself and not blaming others for it, or you do some hybrid of it where you both blame others and try to fix it yourself, which is what LGBT youtube activists do. Every one of these is expressed in the real world. Every one is a double-edged sword for various actors. No path is without some cost to some aspect of reality. If transgender people are supposed to express their genital dysphoria in only one way, I would like cisgender people to express their dysphoria for transgender in only way - how they honestly feel about the issue. Don't default to the lowest denominator in a conversation for easy points or think about the issue for only 30 seconds. I never lambast anyone for not wanting to date transgender people, I lambast them because they assume they know what I want. Sometimes, when a trans person says someone else is transphobic , they are trying to offload their significant transphobia from themselves and off to others. Which is selfish, but it's a way to shatter the mirror and recreate yourself from scratch with love and care. I will say I love spiders, though I don't think they capture the full reality of my existence.

I don't know, what I remember about my last major sports competition was getting my times in Cross Country beat by XX chromosome people since my testosterone levels were 3 ng/dl at age 17 / 17.5 . The only reason I found out I had Kallmann Syndrome was after passing out in a race, but maybe I should have tried harder instead of trying to cheat in the future.....

Yep, unlucky. I'm afraid intersex variations needs to be mentioned at least once for me to take that blog post seriously....

I like your journal Yimpa.

Make sure you clear out your browser history though, don't want any funny stuff in there..

All women are gay I see the truth...