Ingit

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@ttm I feel like My certain friends will like give me occasional messages and I reply them and they will reply me after a day.... while some seems to trigger me ... they seem to tease me... Maybe thats what I al thinking....Maybe I have wrong thinking... I just want to be neutral and don’t respond...

Looking for dysfunction in my mind every day I am just trying to get more and more into my current awareness and the chaos.... But at the end I feel that I was unable to conquer. I fear of my subconscious because I have accumulated a lot of abnormal beliefs and thoughts that scare me when I look onto them and I am forced to rush away from them and become super anxious..... Instead of growing my awareness I seem to drain away my awareness.m by walking through this process and at the end I become exhausted. Just Posting here to let you people know and If any of you been through the same.... And any alternative strategy that Can work for me !

This does makes sense but theoretically like you said when we say things, (we complain) Like it points towards the inside error.... There must be two things inside me... One which listens and the one which says...(2 subjects inside me) one being myself.... How come It be the one consciousness... dont we have Mind?

@Nahm ?? sometimes I feel hyperaware plus anxious of the ongoing thoughts at the same time.... But Then I feel I have No Choice !

@mandyjw Okay.... I agree.. But during intense suffering I have an intention of looking inside whats going in me... How to sit with it purely and comfortable and how come To know thats ego that is trying to watch itself and tricking me.

No I don’t know about Esther....! Looking at the dysfunction makes me so energy deprived and I am just pulled into the Force Believe me... how come I knowing and still getting so detached to the ongoing story in my mind.... Cmon that sucks

@Gili Trawangan I often rarely do meditation these days.... just try to feel my body In midst of the suffering and Trying every moment to be aware of little things I am doing...

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I generally ignore some people especially whom I have know well. I feel like certain people take advantage of me and it has happened to me many times before. And I being a kind person I have a habit of saying Yes to everyone to not make them feel bad and eventually I am the one who suffers at last. I want to know what level of healthy ignoring is good and what are your opinions!

@Moreira if I think Like that doesn’t that strengthens my Ego!

@Leo Gura ?? got it thanks@Eph75 ?exactly

@Eph75 ???? Previous days I used to get upset with people saying No’s to me but recently I am getting comfortable and respecting others..... I have also found out that Despite of saying No certain people(especially very elder) still try to force me and eventually I fell into saying Yes and later realisation comes with suffering.

Let me know if someone moves India.... I am from North of India... Cold and Snow here so No worries..about India’s hot weather. Can check out my place- Shimla, Himachal.... I would love to make foreign friends.

@Amandine ?? I can feel you... You are so strong...... nothing i can say much after reading it all...

Yes Maybe ..... ??

So today I woke up first thing I did was to start to feel my hands and foot and to concentrate the little energy flowing through them, I found it difficult today my mind was not able to concentrate and was wandering severely and making thoughts and things up. I became sad and guilt of how I was not able to do it properly..... How to make this exercise more confidential and strong?

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@Alissa ?? got you... Next moment I will be more aware of these patterns. ? thank U

Not being egoistic... I’m writing what I am feeling from inside.1 day back just got home for winter holidays And whenever I see my parents talking and people around me And discussing, I feel very sorry and sad About how they are so into their minds They don’t even know, everything is being done and spoken automatically and how they believe every thing in their mind and continuously following their brain without even questioning things. I sometimes feel an urge to tell them things but I stop because i know that is useless and would lead to conflict so I stop and just watch around.... I feel stimulated and angry sometimes seeing this and feel an urge to tell them wrong or right.... what should I do in this situation?

To be true here: Inside I feel like that what if they have raised me the way with full awareness not like ordinary parents and helped me in raising my awareness so that I could be a mentally strong child not an attached child with his mind.

@Nightwise great.

@Shin ?? c’mon

Why does our mind generates thought?.. ! I am continuously experiencing thoughts even thought I am trying best to be in the present feeling my body sensations and even feeling when I grab things with my fingers but I founded out that my thoughts have now instead started to define present moment and I make up things like what if It is not the present.... I am unable to drop the thoughts. They seems to grow over time. I am practising being aware from quite a long.

@Red-White-Light I feel you. I am a medical student and same like you I would work so so hard almost continuously for hours every day....So attached to become a good doctor.... I would not even care about how I feel and How Stressed I am... would just study for hours... and in my fourth year I felt how depressed how obsessed I had become.... So I continuously lowered my study time and same I felt Like fuck I had to do more i am doing very less... but I have started inner work now Working on myself my obsessions my thoughts... I have forgotten how to connect with the present moment... i struggle a lot but I know I have to gain my natural me back... i have lowered my identification with carrier not too low but Far less then I have identified myself earlier... I mediate daily.... Take Time to go out when i feel stress... and study accordingly and tell myself that It is enough... But sometime I will get stressed and study hard... But I am recognising my patterns day by day... I just wanted to share ... I felt you a little relateable to me.