Etherial Cat

Yes, I think it is tied to how femininity is seen as "pure" while masculinity is seen as "profane". Women love to feel beautiful!

Whenever I've heard black women claiming that "good black men" are scarce in the USA, it has to do with how much social violence is directed towards them and the consequence derived from it. A lot of black men are wrecked emotionally due to various traumas which are skewing their chance to be stable and build a career on top of the usual plague ruining the community nowadays (war on drugs, mass incarceration, poor neighbourhoods, discrimination etc). As racism cause a lot of self-hatred (rejection cause a wish to conform to the rejecting group in order to gain its love), black folks tend to avoid the stress by marrying out of their race. But it's not only the case for blacks, latinos and asians will do the same. In south america, they'll call this "furthering the race". Regarding statistics, it seems that when it comes to dating, black females in the USA are the least wanted group for interracial dating. Now, I'm not sure why it is the case. I think that black folks are generally speaking the further away from eurocentric features which tend to set the tone for aesthetics standards, so it displeases potentially a lot of individuals. But black males get away with it much better than the average black females does usually. I think it is because black men are benefiting from some of the stereotype and racism as an enhancer to their masculinity. In the collective unconscious, the black man is this hyper virile cool survivor. But when it comes to black females, the collective unconscious features assigned to them comes off as at odd with what the idealized western version of femininity is. Black females are seen as "savage" while the ideal white female is "angelic". They are hypersexualized while the ideal white woman "is demure", etc. That's of course the remains of the narration which was used to justify the dehumanization and sexual exploitation of the black female. Also, femininity can only flourish in a protected environment. The more I reflect on this, the more I realize how being and looking feminine is a luxury. It's hard to do that when your community is at the bottom of the social ladder. Beauty is expensive. And when it comes to female beauty, what I have notice is that it depends a lot on "framing". Marginalized group don't have the means nor the time to frame themself as "beautiful". And it wouldn't be wanted. Anyway, to go back to the point. My tdlr should be: Black women in the USA are saying that good black men are scarce because black men are subject to a lot of social violence that leave stains on them, and they've got more opportunities than them to date outside their race. Which creates an even deeper shortage of "good men".

Sorry, I was talking about the fans, not the musicians.

A lot of fan are infatuated with rappers or rockstars. They're projecting on them an image/or a fantasy which supports their sexual lyrics without it popping the bubble. Especially since it encompass as well a need for expressing their sexuality. But it doesn't mean that these girls are into the content of the lyrics or would like to be concretely in the situation described in the songs. I didn't have a crush on 50 cent, but when I was a teenager, I'd sing to PIMP or Candy shop thinking these songs were benign. Sometimes, it took me being well into my 20s to realize how nasty really was a song.

This doesn't have much to do with men and women. Men would find it odd as well, even though you'd have a stronger negative reaction from female as they are more on their guard when it comes to sexual innuendo. Rappers and rockers aren't sitting there or being physically around in a room with you. I assumed that we were talking about IRL interactions. With musicians, you are not in the same dynamic. You can switch off the radio at any moment if it pleases you. Or if you go to their concerts, you've already agreed to what would be the content. And you're going there having already issued consent on what it would be about. So there isn't any boundary being trespassed...

If this is what leads you to ask this question, then porn isn't your problem. When you meet someone new, you are on probation. The person will assess where you fit and if you are a danger or not. So as a consequence, each thing you do or say will be used to make an opinion on whether you are someone to feel relaxed with or not. Bringing up porn with strangers at the very beginning is triggering a red flag. It shows an abnormal pattern with a subject which is held hidden in first interactions because of necessary social boundaries and potential social turmoil. So when you speak about porn or sex lightheartedly with a stranger, they'll 1) notice you don't observe etiquette 2) feel threatened in their boundaries 3) going to be afraid that you do not control your sexual impulses. The situation would be comparable if you'd start a conversation with a stranger asking them about their poop or about the smell of their armpits or whatever. They'd assume you're not fully in control on social conventions nor of your animalistic instinct. Which feels threatening.

Wonderful post @Emerald. This is so true. I would say that developing yourself and your career is the best way of attracting a life, a partner and friends who suits you best. A career is important as it allows you to provide value to society. So theoretically, a career can be extremely fulfilling. But a lot of us aren't having a career who is aligned with who we are, so we've got a difficult relationship with it. I would say that this is even the norm. An aligned career with your core essence will make you one of the very best in your field. It would rather feel effortless and you'd not want to spend your time doing anything else but what you're gifted for. It is your life's purpose. And since you're spending a lot of your time in your career, it is the best mean to spread your essence around and see who resonates. I see it a bit like being a spider building a cobweb (or maybe a diamond's net ) with it's energetic signature and meet all the beings who are getting captured in it. For instance, we are all on this forum because each of us resonate with Leo's work in some way. We are all caught in his web.

I'm not seeing the same conclusion for these datas. The status quo before was that women were pushed to settle down early because they weren't financially independent nor skilled enough to survive on their own (it goes from being denied an education or profession to just not being encouraged to). So locking a provider husband was the default mode and it was supported culturally This trade was not fulfilling. Nor for the husband, nor for the woman. Check out this stage Green analysis made by Beauvoir which narrates what was the female condition from her POV in the 70s. Note: I've just noticed now that @intotheblack has already made the same point. Regarding women with higher status as such as celebrities: I think there is a point where they are content enough with what they have and maximizing isn't interesting. Just like when it comes to these studies about happiness which concludes that there is a diminishing return point for money that can be reached pretty fast. So it can explain why some high status women are settling for men of lower status instead of higher ones. But it's also possible that when you've got money and status, you might be afraid people are interested in the leg up you can provide them. It can be practical to go with someone who is sharing some of your caracteristics and understand your struggle. (a typical case could be a couple of celebs) It's also possible that "educated" women not "settling" for someone of lower education and lower income might be a symptom more than the causality of another phenomenon tied to resonance... Different education level can create difficulties when it comes to understanding one another. I have family members who never went to college nor had the experience I had traveling around, living abroad etc. I'd say that we aren't seeing the world the same way and having a conversation with them is painful sometimes. I would say that I have statistically a better resonance with people who have been to college per example because it's likely correlated with a similar drive for intellectual matters, intellectual curiosity and cultural capital. But of course, not everyone who resonate intellectually has been through it. I would have no peculiar issues going for a penniless dude with little traditional education if he's intelligent enough to resonate with me and if I'd fall in love. But we'd need to figure out how to survive together and not be miserable financially, which is a very serious issue. I think difficult finances can put a lot of pressure on a relationship as both individual get into a survival mode... I would also add that just as men are finding difficulties in finding role models, women who are top earners are in difficult situations regarding finding a suitable mate due to being stuck in a cultural limbo.

These are Victoria secret models. So I'd assume they are more conventionally attractive than let's say Beyoncé (who is of course good looking, but who wouldn't have made a career out of just "what she inherited"- as she worked hard to develop her talent as a singer) My point is that these "10s" worth millions, haven't chosen men who were top achievers in their category or with epic status. As you mentioned is Candice kept on dating the same guy as before she banked and got famous. Elsa Hosk is in the same configuration (except that the guy isn't a male model this time and she only got with him recently- he used to be a friend). What I am saying is these women haven't "maxed out" and have chosen men they liked when they surely could have got men with much higher status if they had wanted so. In other words, if I had to use the framework used here, basically they are much better catch theoretically than their partners who aren't even such great achiever next to them. I'm taking these extreme cases to illustrate the point that the tendency for women to look for men who are "great performers" with epic status is not necessarily true. The attraction can be counterbalanced with other factors as such as compatibility and other type of resonance.

Hihi. I've known you faster than that @Emerald. Maybe thats a bad sign for my picture.

@Consept Meh. That's a bit of a biased researched. Candice Swanepoel, Elsa Hosk, Romee Strijd and Doutzen Kroes are all with guys who aren't as successful as they are. I'd say, they are fairly unknown and probably not as wealthy. Keanu Reeves is with Alexandra Grant. She's not necessarily your traditional eye candy.

? Meeting Emerald on this forum has opened a lot of doors in my psyche. I'm impressed with this woman.

Yes. I also remember very well how girls going for unattractive chap with money were stigmatized as whoring themselves and going for a lame option. People will gossip a lot and judge you harshly, hence the desire to be conform and get someone traditional attractive. So the usual stage Orange female's ideal case is a guy who's got it all "capital wise". If you look at movies like Twilight or 50 shades of Grey, the romantic interest is a hot dude with status and money, and I think it portrays well stage Blue/Orange or Orange. Also, you can date someone for its money while not being attracted to him/her, so let's not forget about that. A lot of women will compromise on looks (and sexual attraction) for security, but the truth is that both genders are attracted to good looks. Good looks (or something that works for you) is the default standard for sexual attraction. But then, the thing is that good looks is not enough when there is no real resonance and connection. A romantic interest is at the intersection between sexual interest and a deep resonance. In my case, I can compromise fairly on looks if the resonance is there, because the resonance is rarer than good looks and I think this matters a lot. Also, I am quite generous with finding people attractive, and i'm well aware that the physical fades. Usually, the more I like someone, the more I am able to find them good looking. The contrary can also happen if someone is rather good looking, but behaves like an ass.

@Preety_India I'm so sorry to hear about this situation. Don't you have any other relative that could take her of her? If you're feeling so bad and tired, maybe it is a case of putting your own oxygen mask first before being able to help other people with theirs.

It's normal to doubt yourself as a large proportion of society isn't validating your choice. This will keep on happening a lot in your life. Stand your ground and maintain your integrity. We all try to do this a lot in this forum, but mostly regarding other subject.

I can relate to this as a female. I think this is how mature human who manage to navigate through the common traps chose their partners . I think the forum has a rather good concentration of quality guys. But when it comes to the dating section, it's likely that they wouldn't need it much or they look at it as the "cesspool" section. Unlike females, they don't see the point in trying to correct misconceptions about the woman experience because there isn't much at stake for them and they aren't in it. I personally post here a lot because I'm trying to push back some toxic narratives. I also believe that when a post by a quality man is made, it gets little attention. What causes thread to explode or a post to get a lot of answers is when a polarized perspective occurs. So this happens more with more controversial perspectives than with reasonable ones. This can create a particularly unfavorable optic regarding the general level of consciousness regarding relationship in this forum. Last but not least, this forum, as well as Leo's teaching is quite wired towards masculine energy in general. This dating section which deals most with the "dance" of the two duality "pays the price for it". Yeah. I think men tend to underestimate women are also quite visual. Young women especially, tend to value looks and age. Justin Bieber is the guy who got them all crazy, not an old grim looking chap with a Ferrari. Anyway, my ideal rich guy wouldn't flaunt his wealth and play with this status like that. Old money hides its wealth, drive cars like Volvo and are dreading to attract females because of their cash when it comes to find a suitable wife.

Annie Lalla

@soos_mite_ah I understand your standpoint. Females are often pressured to behave like stage orange males and consume sex at all cost nowadays. Just wait until one who is worth it shows up. 21 years old is still quite young. And conscious guys do exist, it's just that they aren't to be found in every street corner. And forget about it being part of having a survival agenda. I think you are just asking for a guy who's there because he's interested in you beside just penetrating a random moist vagina. This is just having standards on being treated properly during, and after sex.

This is all unfulfilling. It is not "it". Some rock stars have been amongst the loneliest and most miserable persons ( substance dependence, massive ego issues). Getting fucked by women because they are after your money is lonely, and so it is for a 10 to gain privileges for the hope of getting fucked. So why would you feel grief for this status quo? If I were you, I'd pass my way and settle for someone who attracts me on several dimensions. And not be an average sheep.

The notion of value is interesting to contemplate. Surely, stage orange people especially tend to equate value with survival capital. But value isn't solely material things. Here in your reasoning you're tying someone's worth to the ability to generate material value. Ex: "A confident chaming asshole= High value guy " "Hot bitchy dumb girl= High value girl" Value in human is generated in several forms to me. The ability to do or having stuff is surely one, but being is also extremely important. In a nutshell -> without the ability to do there is no being (you can't survive by doing nothing- you need to feed yourself, have a home...) -> with only the ability to generate material value through doing or being a useless hot stuff, there is no being. Or at least no life worth living. In my life, I would have had plenty of opportunity to settle down with loaded guys or chase one in exchange for my vagina. This exchange would simply have generated a life not worth living. Exchanging youth and sexual value for freebies and other material stuff isn't interesting. It is a devilish and miserable way to survive. On the other side, if a man see women only through their physical sexual value, this is also a devilish and souless way to survive. It is objectifying and also the best way not to ever have a meaningful relationship with one. Like the buddha said it , the best path is the middle way. The middle way is a compromise between getting your survival needs and beyond met + the spiritual (being) dimension. So, to some up my point, you need a partner that is both satisfying to you on a survival level and on a beingness level. This is why seeing relationships only through the survival lens is a terrible mistake to me. But it is also delusional to not to take in consideration the basic needs for it to function (survival capital).

@soos_mite_ah There is nothing wrong with you . I know very well the dilemma you're talking about as I've experienced it myself. For us women, it takes a special man to inspire an intense desire for merging in a physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual level. The sex we can have with such a man will be far over the mediocre stuff we could get with an average dude. The man who has casted its spell on us will literally be able to take us where no one else can. That said, you could also theoretically go for emotionally less satisfying, physical oriented pounding if you're getting tired to wait. In that case, you can compromise and get something "lesser". A guy you find attractive, someone you've grown fond of overtime or something in between. Or maybe someone you're not sure about but who give you some butterflies. Also, having sex with an infatuation can also surely take you rather far (until the mind filter vanish and you're left with an incompatible frog). To be honest, most people are consciously or unconsciously in the range I've just described, unfortunately. Real intimacy and quality love making is rare. Because it requires a great fit. And finding your great fit is hella rare. Most people are oblivious to what is possible in this domain because they are quite unconscious and settle for the mediocre unconscious standard of sex. That said, they can enjoy good sex because they can find people who resonate with them and resonance brings connection. Also, a lot of people are getting off from a form of sex that is based on ego trauma, which can feel very satisfying. This is why you'll find so many fucked up stuff on porn website, btw. In your case, it seems like you're too conscious to find a match which resonates with you easily. It's the problem of many isolated conscious people. I would suggest you to spend more time in high green, or yellow communities to find a suitable partner.

In his video, Leo mentioned lawyers as the premium example for a lack of integrity. Well, while I agree that there are some rotten apples, there are also fabulous ones who attempt to win cases through the power of truth instead of deception. So, here is the french lawyer Juan Branco who used to work on Julian Assange's case. He was also part of the french elite circles, which he repudiated due to his integrity as he was utterly disgusted by the level of corruption occurring and the disintegration of all moral values. After he worked for a while at the CJUE in Luxembourg for 10k$ a month, he went back to live at his parent's flat and was on welfare. Since then, he's been defending for free yellow jackets, and released a best selling book about the corruption of the french elites for free. His book was such a success that despite being available for free, he sold 100ks of copy.

Yup! This scene is, for sure. Integrity in politics:

I would say Leo is a good example of integrity. Actualized.org as a channel and work is definitely a path towards integrity. Leo is maybe not 1000% always grounded in it as of yet (as per what he says himself), but I think he demonstrates it quite often.