Etherial Cat

Before there are social constructs, there is a reality for the mind to assign meaning on. The way I perceive the feminine/masculine duality is that it is the human manifestation of a duality which is present all across the universe. The relative is made out of opposite. These opposites are the dichotomy which allow us to conceive notions as such as up or down, left and right, feminine and masculine etc. Also, I would say that the average stage Green would tend to perceive masculine and feminine as sole social construct with no empirical ground.

My stance on that is that females can resonate with this especially due to integrated patterns of internalized misogyny. But there are also elements that are just the interplay between the feminine and the masculine. In my case, I'm especially put off from objectification (though I appreciate being desired) and what she calls the power of threat and discipline. And i'm torn about the point one. If I'd feel that the order isn't having a deeper echo within me or the energy is off, the odds are good that I'd either laugh or get mad. Her last point seems also like there is a strong dichotomy between her ego self and her authentic self. Ideally both are merged or at least not at odds. I am having a hard time seeing how coherent it is to enjoy being objectified and then being seen and understood beneath the walls if not for an inner split. A lot of that domination thing is the sexual replay of subconscious power dynamics.

I can try, sure. It's a connection on the existential level, which includes room for transcendence. Instead of being wired towards the usual ego game dynamic, the relationship is wired towards Truth and Love come what may. Most relationships I've seen are rather superficial because none is doing proper self-actualization work. Often, they aren't necessarily compatible on a deeper energetic level. As a consequence, there is a lot of work to be done in order to "maintain" the thing going, because the reality is that these people got together because they want something from each other. Also, both play roles with themselves and with each other. The connection I'm talking about is wired toward authenticity, knowledge of self, wisdom and thus just allows for deeper intimacy. There is little overlay between both individual.

Thanks for writing this extremely valuable post @tsuki. The only thing I would like to comment is that if it's true that gaslighting is a defense mechanism on the end of the gaslighter, it is also an offense mechanism on the receiving end. In a nutshell, what is so problematic about it is that is keeps the gaslit in a position of being routinely hurt, which prevents their healing. And the gaslit can rarely just substract itself from the influence of the gaslighter, because the gaslighter leverage various power move and means to keep the gaslit into the desired position. So before any type of healing can occur, it is important that the gaslit escape the reach of the gaslighter so its attack on him/her stops. In general, having social norms enforced as such as through justice or even policing shouldn't be overlooked as a mean to stop the flux of brutality through neutralization. It's true that justice (at least not the retributive type) won't help heal the trauma but it can make it stop by enforcing boundaries between an oppressor and an oppressed. And tell the oppressor he's been out of social standards. I also do totally agree on the fact that abusers and narcissist are deeply traumatized individuals. And instead of being vilified they should be absolutely helped and understood. But the violence needs to taken cared wherever it currently occurs in the social chain to stop further trauma on victims, which could then also end up traumatized and going through the circle after integrating stress. So an abuser, whether he is been both a bully and bullied, needs first to be neutralized if he's bullying and then healed.

As I see it, gaslighting occurs when someone doesn't want to acknowledge someone's truth or free will, because something is at stake for him/her. It's a power move which includes re-writing and controlling the narrative in order to strip the person being gaslit from its sense of reality and get it to conform to an expected behavior. What is really at stake is a battle for power and sens making. Through the gaslighting, the person is trying to shape and define reality. The main issue will be to recognize the pattern, because the gaslighter will deny its gaslighting through self-deception or ill intent.

Yet, the best way to be God-Like as a woman and match your man would be to Love him enough to let him go. If the relationship breaks at this point, it means that something which can't be worked on is tearing it apart. Most of the time, this would be an unresolved personal issue that can only be deal with on the level of the individual. The other can't do it for him/her. Or just plain realities limitation as Life unfolds. Often, it's both. Maybe the more God-Like you become, and the easier it is to accept that all good things come to an end. Ideally you'd Love during the relationship, and you'd Love the person as it goes. I mean, what makes separation difficult is the ego and a lack of perspective. And obviously, it's desire to possess. If you'd be with such a God-Like person, it's quite likely that anyway the whole relationship would have been an efficient training to its conclusion. Intimacy with a highly developed human, guided by the principe of Love, would be realistically one of the best teaching one could have to get more conscious. But yes, I mean, like Shakespeare said it well "These violent delights have violent ends". Welcome to the relative.