Etherial Cat

I am so sorry. I understand this to be true, as I see many men grappling with these experiences. Believe me, many women are empathetic to their struggles. Our society often fails men, and the trauma runs deep; so deep that many are unable to recognize or acknowledge the issues they face. And that wound is deeply protected by the feelings of shame and unworthiness you describe, which make it VERY difficult to address. For most of them, it's like everything I say or try to point at rebound immediately out of their sphere of awareness. Yep, this is a very common belief, but I do not think it is actually true. There could be cases of masculine suppression, but if it is well done, the feminine qualities actually do empower the masculine ones back. Per exemple .. If you actually want to be an excellent thinker and reason logically (esoteric masculine quality), you can't do it with a lot of repressed emotions (esoteric feminine qualities). The repressed emotions will distort your thinking abilities and distort your perception of reality. So to actually be well grounded in your healthy masculine, you need to properly integrate your feminine. Your feminine qualities will not go away, regardless of any of the attempts at suppression. They will control you from your unconscious.

The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love from bell hooks The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics by bell hooks Cassandra Speaks by Elizabeth Lesser Men Explain Things to Me by Rebecca Solnit Healing the Sacred Divide: Making Peace with Ourselves, Each Other, and the World by Jean Benedict Raffa Other than that, I can also recommend you two great youtube channel that speaks about gender a lot: The Diamond Net from @Emerald https://www.youtube.com/@TheDiamondNet (look for the videos on spiral dynamic and the divine feminine, anima/animus integration and everything that has to do with archetypes) Contrapints https://www.youtube.com/@ContraPoints (her videos about men, incels and Jordan Peterson might be interesting starting point)

He wasn't wearing it for long.

Men are before anything else exploited by other men. Yet rather than recognizing this reality, many choose to align themselves with wealthier men. In doing so, they inadvertently contribute to the suppression of women's empowerment and their ability to achieve emancipation as this feel like a further erosion of power and privileges. So they double down on masculinity, try to blame feminism just like they blame their own innate feminine qualities and we end up with facist government all over the place. The fact that so many men on this forum are ranting about how gender politics and minority rights is not important just prove further that they are themselves privileged enough to dismiss it as BS, when Gender studies are a very legit and well documented part of political sciences. But of course, to them this post is going to be read as inflammatory and nonsense. Because they won't take responsibility for their fragmented psyche and understand that this is exactly the manifestation of sexism. Sexism is largely an unconscious process. There is nothing wrong with masculinity though. Masculinity is wonderful. Just not when it is wounded and falls into the pit of its shadow expression.

God has a funny sense of humor sometimes. Especially because two paragraphs in, Marcus is described to wear a black shirt and that's pretty much the only physical description in the whole text. Fortunately, there was no mention of any bearded clam soaked in spicy juice, so I take that as a win.

Makes me think of JD Vance. Though, he has always appeared to me as clumsy and too lame for the bid. But his backed by Thiel and his network. Also, you'd have recognized him from now, right? Trump is rather old. There will be a need for a successor eventually. Maybe he is still not in the picture yet. Or the representation was just symbolic. Idk.

Why do we have to be on a timeline where this type of outcome is seen as possible.

Very interesting. Thanks a lot of sharing. I've had similar thought as I have noticed that emotions and patterns such as blame and scapegoating have to do with deflecting responsibility. I think you really are into something here.

@Emerald I asked Chatgpt to write an erotic story based on your text. No joke, out of thousands of name that could have been chosen, ChatGPT decided on naming the male character Leo. I asked for a name change as it made it way too awkward and distracted me from reading up the story. Now, the guy is named 'Marcus'.

Ladies and gentleman, the Tolstoy (of joy) of erotica...

The cringe of the blossoming flower and the yikes. I got some adds for AI voice erotica recently (it was pretty cool and not at all robotic). I didn't use the product but would probably have been dying of laughter if I'd heard some dude using typical erotica body parts lingo.

Yo woman, start writing some erotica please. I also see a component of being forcibly put in the position of the Beloved archetype. __ All of that contribute to psychological homeostasis to compensate a deep need that isn't met. Feels like a coping mechanism to me to achieve that result.

What do you think SD stage Blue stands for? SD Blue is complementary to my analysis, not at odds.

🙏🏽 Thank you. You too.

🤷🏽‍♀️ No problems.

Thank you for your honesty. I believe that's the right attitude. As you can see from my signature, I fully support this type of critical thinking. It's great that you are both open-minded to consider this perspective while remaining skeptical. That said, I am confident you will be able to observe for yourself what I've mentioned. It's easy to explore these ideas on your own. I also want to clarify that I am not prejudiced against White people. I am half-white myself and grew up with my white family. However, my individuation process has required me to do a lot of work to reunify my fragmented psyche. The unrest between my two ethnicities has also impacted me internally, and I can only achieve wholeness by learning to these love both aspects of my experience. Same for the Masculine/Feminine duality which is present in all of us but in various ratio.

The collective dominant ego may be losing its influence as more individuals break free from its constraints, leading to greater individuality. Or alternatively, it could be evolving by incorporating elements that challenge its previous norms and beliefs. So this shift reflects a transition from conservative ideals to progressive ideals. That's pretty much what the current culture war is about. I think the truth is in between. The progressive ideals leave more room for people to individuate but at the same time, it can become a sheepish thing too.

Sure, I'd be happy to expand. When I talk about the ‘dominant collective ego,’ I'm referring to the societal norms and values that tend to be idealized or rewarded in our culture. In many societies, certain expressions of masculinity and certain aspects of whiteness are often portrayed as ideals in the media, workplace, and even in interpersonal relationships. These norms can pressure individuals—regardless of their background—to suppress parts of themselves that don’t align with this ideal, in an attempt to fit in or be successful within that system. This is where the concept of individuation comes in, as described by Jung. Individuation is about becoming aware of and integrating the full range of one’s identity, values, and beliefs, rather than conforming to the external ideals... It’s a way to reclaim authenticity, making choices based on one’s true self instead of societal expectations. Without this inner work, people may unconsciously adopt behaviors or ideals that don’t truly match who they are, simply because are rewarded/pressured to fit in with the dominant norms. As a consequence, many men will try to polarize themselves on the masculine side, adopting an idealized vision of masculinity by selecting hyper-polarized models of what it means to be masculine in the said society. Women, on the other hand, will tend to either polarize against their own femininity by ‘out-masculining’ men at this game or conform to a culturally idealized version of femininity that is often caricatured and centered around men’s current cultural desires for what femininity should look like. Often, this idealized femininity reflects the unconscious representation of the collective male anima in the current zeitgeist. For minority groups, the game follows the same pattern, but with a lot of various expressions. For example, many Asians, Latinos, and Africans tend to uphold mixed-race ideals to varying degrees, where features perceived as ethnically undesirable are softened or ‘washed down’ with more European elements. However, this issue is complex and extends far beyond appearance; it can be analyzed through numerous other dimensions, with this example serving as just one accessible illustration. Hope this is the answer you wanted. I wasn't certain how to interpret your words.

Self-abandonment, desire to fit in, identification with the dominant group, and a desperate desire to prove that one is "part of the good ones." They will then look at other Latinos—such as those crossing the border—as different from them and insist that they've got nothing to do with the "freaks." They stick to their desire to vote for Trump after watching all these insulting videos because their inner pattern is a survival mechanism tied to unresolved emotional trauma, and thus their unconscious has an excessively strong pull on their rational mind. Basically, since we live in a society where the dominant collective ego is rewarding a certain type of masculinity and whiteness, all groups are going to be subject to pressure to suppress their authenticity in the direction of these elements unless some work towards individuation is undertaken. All groups are subject to this pattern but with different expressions. I don't have any good videos that explain in deep the pattern for latinos, but here is an exemple of an ex MAGA woman who talks about how she ended up voting against her interests.

I don’t see the strong Israel you are describing. Instead, I observe a diplomatically weakened Israel, facing prosecution for war crimes by the International Court of Justice and surrounded by neighboring states that are deeply hostile to its political agenda for reasons too complex to detail here. If you equate strength with the ability to survive in a militarized golden cage, heavily subsidized by a foreign imperial power, then I understand your perspective. However, this approach resembles cutting off the head of a hydra, only to have two more emerge in its place. Each criminal act inflicted upon the indigenous population generates a rightful and natural sense of injustice regarding the attacks on the human dignity of the Palestinian people. These actions stand in stark contrast to the ideals of a project supported by Western nations to prevent atrocities like the Holocaust from ever happening again, ultimately eroding the goodwill and sympathy that many can have for Israel. What is happening in Gaza is a shame, that should move any person who took actual lessons from WW II to its core. Contrary to what you seem to suggest, there is a strong desire for a peaceful resolution to this conflict, which extends far beyond just the Israelis and Jews, and the Palestinians and Arabs. This situation is a drama that affects all of humanity, damaging our global sense of safety and fostering a bitter sense of collective insanity and human brutality that impacts the human experience as a whole. The desire for human dignity for Palestinians extends to every Jewish and Israeli person in the hearts of most reasonable individuals. So spare us the justifications for the actions of the government you seem to be supporting, which are rooted in the fear of "a second Auschwitz because everyone hates us." No one here wants Jews or Israelis to live in fear. I know many wonderful people who happen to be Israeli or Jewish, and I will always defend their right to integrity and dignity. Israelis carry a significant burden of improperly addressed intergenerational traumas related to fear of abuse and annihilation. One of the worst things that can happen to such a traumatized nation is to be forced to live in the chaos created by Netanyahu's and the likes supposed strength policies—policies characterized by compulsory military service, perpetual war, and the establishment of nearby ghettos. This situation is disastrous. Moreover, I am not even addressing the horror of having to heal from the wounds of being subjected to terrible acts of abuse, only to realize that similar acts of abuse have been perpetrated by the very state that was supposed to rise above such actions. My heart aches for the future generations who will have to clean up the mess created by such a high level of self-deception and rule of the unconscious. Children, women, innocents men are being randomly killed at the very moment. There is no strength in this, only collective madness.

Hi @Emerald, I know I’m posting months after you originally made that thread, but I read it somewhere last week and tonight, I suddenly felt a sense of insight and a desire to share my perspective with you, just in case it could be helpful. During my Ayahuasca ceremonies, I also experienced a sense of God and the duality of good and evil. This was especially true during my very first ceremony, where I started vomiting intensely—something that felt like a pure distillation of unholiness. It had gradually built up during the ceremony until it felt like it had fully taken possession of my mind and body. It was terrifying while it was happening, but my awareness remained intact. I got through it by mobilizing all the mindfulness ‘muscles’ I had built up until that point. The turmoil finally stopped once I was done vomiting, right in front of the bewildered eyes of the shaman. Then, the entire experience shifted abruptly into peace, and I felt a deep sense of clarity, like a clear sky within. Thankfully, none of my subsequent ceremonies (I’ve had four in total) repeated that same experience. Since then, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on what that sensation of evil I vomited might have been. While I’m still not certain, my main hypothesis is that I was purging a deep, unconscious sense of shame—perhaps tied to countless subconscious thoughts about what makes someone worthy or unworthy. These had likely accumulated throughout my life. It was very clear to me that what I was expelling was my own personal, tailor-made sense of evil, which reinforces this theory for me. I don’t share the same fear you mentioned. It never occurred to me that God could deceive me. But I do have other fears related to God, primarily the fear that it doesn’t love me because I am somehow fundamentally flawed. This might explain why I felt like my body and mind were possessed by evil during that first ceremony. If I dig deeper into my greatest fear, it’s that I am so deeply flawed that I might actually be evil, with no possibility of redemption. There’s a strong correlation between this fear and my personal story. As a child, I was traumatized by the belief that my blackness (from a very early age) and later, my femininity, were not seen as good qualities to say the least... And I deeply internalized these perspectives. And because they were unchangeable aspects of myself, it felt like a curse. Then, these feelings compounded with other experiences, ultimately leading to a deep shame wound. The early sense making I had made was that since God made me this way, he didn't love me. Because I wasn't made with the parameters that leads to a great experience. That said, this reversed as I am now seeing this were all blessings, which made me into the being able to share intimacy and depth with great people like you and God appears in so many ways in my experience. But this came much later in life. Anyway, reflecting on your journey, what stands out to me is that your greatest fear seems to be that your gift—your profound understanding of the world and your position as God's Beloved—might not be true. This fear might stem from a subconscious, deep-seated polarization you have against ignorance, self-deception, and the understanding that both knowledge (through judgment of good and bad ) and ignorance leads to the generation of evil. It would make sense, especially since you mention that your gift originates from trauma and is tied to your mother’s conditional love for you. It could be that this all developed from a place of fear that is deeply lodged and could still guide your drive. And for someone in this configuration, I could definitely see why the ultimate feeling of unworthiness would be being the antithesis of all of that. And for this to happen to you, you would have to have been wrong about all you know. And your most cherished understand would be the one of God. And so, the remaining of duality in your psyche projects like that. So, the fear you have of God deceiving you could be a projection of your fear of deception itself, or something along those lines.

Like that

Someone's got a strong mother wound. And behaves as if Emerald was the infamous hunter responsible for it.

That's not only what I see, but it’s literally what I was thinking about writing to you a bit earlier. They remind me of a bunch of spicy cats who aren’t realizing how safe, nurturing, and caring the person in front of them is while they furiously attack the well-meaning Samaritan. And oh God, these cats are really spicy. Their spiciness prevents the nice petting and great play moments that could arise, which would feel much better for everyone. Also, Emerald, reading your backstory—albeit very insightful and somewhat fascinating—makes me very appreciative and glad that things turned out so well for you despite those sordid experiences. You have all my compassion. And while I wish none of that had happened to you, I suppose that 'Emeralds' are created under a lot of cosmic pressure...