Etherial Cat

I don't need to be a man to tell you that this is wrong. My standpoint as a woman is much more valuable to know what women are attracted to as it's direct experience for me.

It's really lovely to hear you talk about here that way. But my thought is that this is exactly where is might hurt. The Feminine needs to feel unique in the eyes of a man. Nature design it exactly that way. And nothing hurts more than opening up, being tried and then.. well, let down for another female. At least, this is how it is for me. Even though each women have their unique vibe and flavor, what you want is your unique vibe and flavor to stick with the guy. Yep. Good luck with navigating this. I'm hoping for the best. Hehe thanks. Ditto!

Yes, there is definitely an unstable component going on there. A man who's got a high lay count gives me the feeling that he likes better to consume women in a shallow way instead of having deeper relationships. And I find it rather immature - not to say totally repulsive. I also immediately suspect underlying causes to his needs for multiple partner (a need for approval, objectification, a fear of intimacy, etc), and it just rises all my defenses mechanism. I don't feel like I can trust him and engage in anyway. And it's important to me because I need to trust in order to ever feel confortable. If I take your analogy with the lion and the lion tamer, having a high lay count tend to show that he's not not in charge of his impulses in the sexual domain. I think this is kind of also a good hint that these issues will pop out in other life areas as well. Another point that I can add is that I know females are not so thrilled for one night stand and will usually want more than sex by men. A high lay count kind of also sounds like the number of women that got burned like moth flying towards a lamp with this kind of guy. It's got something pathetic and act as a big warning.

A 1 to 1 copy paste of red pill garbage.

Yes. To me, a large lay count is actually a red flag.

Yes. I wasn't referring to Ivankiss's situation here but discussed cheating in the context of a committed relationship as per Zeroguy's post before. But yes, defining what qualifies as cheating is one hell of a difficult line. Technically, you could already cheat on your partner by having an emotional affair which would never include anytime being out of boundaries action-wise. Regarding consent... I think consent is a very important notion in cheating but it is not enough. First, a partner doesn't give usually a long laundry list of what he think is out of boundaries. So you've got to figure it out by yourself, and the odds are quite high that you might make some wrong assumptions. And cheating can appear in some rather grey areas, which are hard to ban in the first place. And that's because attraction between individuals often grow over time and what used to be a rather benign interaction can turn ambiguous. Also, it is normal to be mildly attracted to other individuals and enjoy their company. Once in a relationship, you might still meet people and some might objectively be attractive in some ways. So is it cheating to hang around them ? It's all difficult.

Ah, yes. I didn't interpret/read your sentence this way. I thought you meant that you'd consider death cheating, which got me really confused. Of course there is feeling of death whenever a sacred partnership ends. I'd say, we experience numerous small deaths throughout life and the more the heart is involved in them, the worse is the grief. I've had some of the moment you've described. And its not for nothing that the heart is named the Anahata (the undefeated), because each times it breaks, it gives it an opportunity to rise and expend. I think that's what you've been referring to especially, here? Yes. I love how it's kept clean and honest. I must say that I wish that this is what I would read in the dating section of this website. It doesn't look like you're in a dangerous emotional place as you seem to be already looking forward to get with other girls. That's not really a space or mindset that will show deep hurt- at least as of now. But yes, stopping will most likely be painful. Seems like you guys are having a lot of highs as of now... And well, life ain't only that. I'd be impressed if both of you manage to keep it classy until the end.

Yep! That's also what's been my experience in a nutshell. Death?! How so?

@Zeroguy Various degrees of cheating is rather common in relationships, I would say. And anyway, it's hard to tell where it starts. Maybe with a look? By flirting mildly with a stranger? With a friendship drifting towards more romantic feelings? A kiss? Having sex? But the point is not there when it comes to cheating. The point is that when you have a fully fulfilling relationship with someone of the opposite sex, it's quite likely that you can't have what you have with this person with a lot of other person. And if you do, it means most likely that, your relationship with your partner is not that great. Cheating occurs when a part of oneself is not perceived, or can't express itself... or when an important need isn't met by a partner. Throughout my life, whenever I've been into a guy, it has always been because I couldn't get to reach the same level of intimacy with others and that guy was a much closer match than anyone, and by far. So it would not make sense to want to look somewhere else anyway. Usually, people cheat for rather silly reasons (hot guy/girl, guy/girl with status, crush based on delusion). And these are all not worth jeopardizing a relationship with a partner who is a unicorn to you. -- Kudos for you for stating so clearly your intentions to her. It's great that both of you are coming from the same place. Though... I don't buy it will be as easy in the future. If so, I'll be impressed. I don't believe in fuck buddies.

For someone who enjoys teaching other people about science and logic, you're kind of off with your reply. Violet is not in need for a scientific explanation on masculine desire and/or sexual variety. If anything, you are explaining her a premise she has already based her reasoning on... Her point here is that some men are using biology as a justification for their lack of self-discipline. So what is your point here? That because 98% of your DNA is similar to that of a monkey you dont get to master your impulses and transcend the desire to fuck all you get an opportunity to ? Are you not on the actualized.org, a personal development forum which is all about evolving towards more consciousness and dropping all the bad chimp instinct? Beside... Observing a situation through a scientific process doesn't exclude the fact that there might be some extra causalities influencing the current result. An illustration of this is that weddings might be lasting now 8 years, but their duration is expanding if you analyze them through different social context through time and/or space. So biology here is not the sole factor. Weddings are also heavily dependent on culture, sociology and economical conjuncture for instance. And I suspect heavily that the development level of the parties involved in it can drastically improve the odds too.

Let's petition to rename Chad "Ivan".

Oh my bad. Didn't see that comment before. Well, he must have been like "Ain't got any of that amazing results with my knowledge. Where is my stage Yellow wifey?" "LiFe iS a sCaM".

Imagine the discomfort of having to act normal in front of the camera while they committed to each on that epic sex life. My father would likely have looked much less stoic than that.

A lot of people have too many blindspots in their thought process to get on the right track. There are so many problems that can make of a mind a deregulated calculator... It's like they don't have the formula to equation rightly set. And it leads them away from the essential almost systematically by a few inch. Usually, they also have plenty of holes in the bucket when it comes to holding truth. For instance, some have an incredibly strong pattern with giving away their authority. They have no grasp at the concept of epistemeology, so they build their knowledge with a lot of errors. And that's because It seems like they cannot even find this place in their experience where they question something as basic as "how do I know things?". And/or they are master at begging the question and don't get far enough to the bottom of things. A typical case that I see are those who find the Big Bang to be a satisfactory answer that check mate all the needs for further reflection. Or they don't know how to contemplate, or how to be honest with themselves and fall for a lot of self-deception trap. Also almost paradoxically, they've got too much doors that should be opened that are clogged with delusions. So they remain hermetic to a lot of the correction one could bring to their inner GPS. These are recurring issues that I see with those who do not manage to "see". Another point seems like they aren't usually very talented to reorient themselves alone. Usually, those who are talented have got a mechanism that get their precision level towards truth always significantly closer. A lot of people don't have this and are progressing at very slow rate.

I'm not sure to understand you. What would be an example of police mind transcendence?

Yes. It's awful. She is deeply traumatized and her life is still massively impacted by it nearly 12 years after. The guy who did it never got caught by the police, unfortunately. So she never got the chance to feel a sense of justice. She's eaten alive by the resentment she's got against him. But an extra trauma for her was how she was received by the police. She was guilt tripped for being raped as she was out at night (her mother had refused to pick her up at the bus station and she had to walk the distance between it and her house alone). They also asked her what she was wearing as one of the very first questions. They werent properly trained to address rape victim. One of the worst aspect of this story is that... nobody talked about it. Absolutely nothing happened. I used to live very close to her place and I didnt hear about the story anywhere, she had to tell herself the story through social media. Nothing in the local newspaper. Not warnings of all kind. And since that they I have concluded that most rape occuring are totally unheard off by most of the population, even those particularly gross ones that involves snapping a teenager in the street and raping them violently. For it to be talked about, they've got to be reported to the press and interest them. The immense majority of them do not make the cut. And it's particularly bad because anyway the number of rape reported to the police is already low in itself.

Oh, thank you a lot for your kind words . I really like engaging in this forum. It's like an applied philosophy space. And a lot of people here are very thoughtful and we all seek for a better comprehension of how reality functions. It makes it especially worthwhile to engage in discussions. But unfortunately, due to the fact that there aren't so many women posting, I spend a lot of time writing about what I perceive as toxic beliefs, inaccurate depictions or misconception about femininity or the feminine experience in general. As written by other members on this thread, there is a serious problem of Green integration in this forum. And it's particularly bad because one can see that a lot of individuals are convinced to be criticising Green from above when they are in fact totally oblivious to Green concepts. And it makes me spend a lot of time explaining Green and why it is valuable. Green brings a lot of feminine energy back in the spiral as such as emotions, beingness, community, compassion, care... And it doesn't suit those who are struggling with their feminine. A lot of men here are trying to maximize on masculine energy and they see the feminine as as source of disempowerment and as something which comes secondary. So there is a lot of contempt towards Green. Especially because it is still under Yellow. And curiously, somewhat people forget that Turquoise correct again the imbalances of Yellow and "succeeds" where Green fails. But the hardest thing when it comes to the forum, is that unconsciously or consciously some of these men really don't like when a woman or someone with a feminine energy tell them they are not holding the superior perspective. Because they see it as losing to someone feminine as some sort of humiliation... as per the rank it holds in their mind. Like they are being diminished in their own masculinity. So it makes it even harder to be heard. A lot of people here hold the belief that being masculine is to dominate and submit the feminine, when in fact the feminine is in control of what it wants and only surrender when it's correctly approached (...) And this pattern shows also a lot in the rape dynamic. Consent is respecting the autonomy and sovereinty of women, listening, being attuned and be willing to take a no if necessary. There is this feeling of entitlement towards femininity. Other than that- sorry to hear about your experience as a teenage boy. Creepy stories like that happened to a few guys I know. They usually remain totally quiet about it because there is a lot of taboo surrending sexual aggressions from other men. Freezing is one of the defense mechanism we hold as human. The typical freeze, flight or fight. A lot of rape victim freeze.

Cool, thanks. I'll have a look.

Thanks a lot for receiving it well and creating the space for us to narrate these tales.

Nope, I am not a 1 in 1000. This one guy was surely an original. But I got "traditionally" flashed in a park by a creep last September. He got his dick out and started polishing his weewee looking salaciously at me. I would say that getting freaked out by a pervert happens sometimes. The pace is hard to define. In the last year it happened 3 times. The other one was a guy who followed me on the street, and asked me straight how much I would want to fuck. And no, I don't look nor dress up like a street hooker. For women in general, yes it is common. I would say even, way too common. If I'd take something like flashing, a lot of my close friends got flashed in daily situation (shopping mall, waiting for transport, or in front of their buildings). I have countless of ridiculous stories. You'd be shocked how audacious and diverse creeps are. For instance at my university, there was a creep digging holes in the toilet wall spying on the girls taking a pee. And very often up to these days, I see these type of holes in public toilets or bars. I always fill them with paper toilet. I also have a very good looking girl friend who got once harassed by an old man on public transport. He sat next to her in an empty train, waited for her to stand up and tried to dig his walking stick in her ass. But these stories are only the tip of the iceberg. If I'd have to write down the number of horror that happened to me, my friend and my acquaintances, you'd stop laughing pretty fast. As I wrote it in another post, a friend of mine got raped by a stranger walking back home and an acquaintance was driven away in a ghetto and raped with a knife on a mattress.

Na. He was walking the two hands inside his pants. That's what caught my attention in the first place. I was wondering "why would anyone do that?". But at this point he was already 2 meters close. I thought seriously he was planning to get his dick out and flash me 2 seconds after I noticed what he was doing. Instead of being flashed, he got them out and touched me with it (?...). Anyway. I'm glad it was just an arm grab at the end of the day, but I still had to walk 5-10 minutes with my arm soiled with a random strangers junk germs. ?

Oh yes. I recommend you Cassandra Speaks from Elizabeth Lesser. There are some videos of her commenting her book on youtube, if you want to make an idea of what it is all about. Otherwise, it's also available on audible.

Hey, you people I wrote a long post as per answering your diverse points and tags but the computer I m currently using got out of battery and my writings weren't saved. And I have decided not to re-write it due to how frustrating it is. So please excuse me if I don't reply your latest answer. I had the intention to do so but I don't have the courage to start again. That's really a cool twist. Kudos to you, really. -- I got a story for you all. Guess what happened to me today? I got "assaulted". This time it was the middle of the day, in a busy street in the city I am currently living. As I was walking with my boyfriend and two of his friends on the side way, a man was coming my way from the other direction. I noticed he had both his hands in his pant, and was touching his junk. I thought it was odd. When he finally came at my height, he removed his hands from his pants, and he grabbed my left arm with it. I immediately started shouting out of disgust and anger, called him a pervert and described his action loudly so everyone could hear what happened. My boyfriend and his two friends were in disbelief that someone would do that to a woman walking with 3 men by her side in front of a crowd of witnesses. Notice how none of the advices given here could prevent me from remaining safe from this type of undesirable interaction. I wasn't interested in making a scene and urged us to walk away as I got afraid that the guys would want to fight the man who just joined his group of friend a few meters away. So that's pretty much it. I haven't been particularly shook by the event, even though I'm pissed that I have been made felt unsafe in plain day and in plain sight... I think I'm kinda getting used to the fact that this type of stuff happens, unfortunately.

"Bitching about your perspectives" *Facepalm* You guys are aware we are talking about sex offenses and many post here side shamelessly on dismissing victimes on a thread made for women to speak up? If you dont understand what is wrong, feel offended, threathened, or in need to side against what's been said about consent it might be time to introspect on why.