Etherial Cat

So, regarding statics and studies. I don't navigate through life or on this forum to back up all my claims with academics. Actualized.org is a post-rationalist environnement which use models that flies well over current studies and the discussions in here are not slowed down by playing the game of stage Orange research and quotations. And usually, stage Orange paradigms are short sighted Not to mention that some university produce some bullcrap which is oriented towards proving backgrounds for diverse interests and claims. That said, If you've got studies on the matter, you are free to share them with us. The burden of proof to reverse what several other members including males have said about their experience is on you, not on me. -- And then my point regarding the premise was that Gesundheit had chosen a new one out of the blue which is not making sense when you argue agains't someone's point to me. But whatever.

It has nothing to do with the fact that I am a woman. I've been reading books about polyamory and multiple partner relationships. And I also know some people who have been engaged into them. A good exemple of a guy who thought polyamory would be awesome is Neil Strauss, the author of "The Game". In his book "The Truth" he engages in a relationship with several girls and he start pretty fast to completely hate it. Another exemple is how the prophet Mohammed had issues managing his multiples wives and ended up only recommending up to 4 wives instead of the dozen he had at some point. So polygamy is certainly not "heaven" even from a man's perspective. It is several times more obligations, troubles, jealousy and drama. And your attraction towards these partners is often not exactly equal, but you've got to be fair. There is also something very disturbing to see your partners suffer romantically because they don't feel loved, honored and cared for enough.

Yes. I think that an important point to contemplate regarding this aspect is that physical attraction peak is occurring when a female is very young and totally inexperienced. And it's only normal that at the beginning one makes poor choices which get refined with maturity. So it's not because of the fact that the attraction capital is waning that they pick up another type of guy eventually. It's mainly because you don't do the same choice at 20 than you do at 35.

The premise here is that this assumption is false, not true. The whole discussion has been revolving around this for pages now. -- Polyamory sounds attractive when you're leaving in a fantasy world but when you actually actualize it, it becomes a nightmare. While I've never been into a polyamory myself, I've had to deal with situations of having multiple men being into me in the past. And managing others people expectations, potential heartbreak and desires is one of the worst experience I had romantically. The human drama makes it terribly difficult to be authentic and you feel like an elephant in a china shop. Next to it, monogamy is a walk in the park.

Yes. I guess it provides them a model which give them a sense of security and control in relationships... Just like these men needs a sense of security and control over their anima. And yes, the placebo perspective is definitely useful. The reason for that is that not everything is bad with pick-up. For instance, "Go talk to girls" is a great advice. But is this advice necessarily tied to pick up? Modern "pick up" is an extra-layer on what works. And very often it is distorted with diverse underlying ideologies, manipulations and lack of care for a woman's welfare. There is a power trip energy to it. And as long as this power trip energy is there, when a man approach women from a needy/survival perspective... affection comes second if at all. Energetically, the "pick up studs" or "alpha males" are coming from a place of selfishness, anger, desire for control and domination. And any woman who's known proper affection could tell that they do not love women just by the way they think, talk about us, narrate their stories and act. It's incredibly confusing to see men showing contempt, hostility, and seemingly a low attachment/ care for female believe that they are attractive. But I guess this might be increased by the "women like assholes" narrative they like to tell themselves... And it's really a shame.

Your comment on my quote is an answer that doesn't take into consideration the context of the said quote. So I'll leave it there.

Yeah. And I think another underlying motive is that for them to feel masculine and dominant, they absolutely need to feel like we are delusional and they've got the upper hand. Us being right is a direct threat to the masculine image they are trying to build for themselves. There seems to be a whole scheme of bro-club thingy going on there with this pick up stuff. What I read and the way they validate each other tells me than each of them takes as a threat any information given by a woman contradicting their theory. Of course. If anything it spoils men with potential by giving them these ridiculous crimped nose hair that makes them totally undatable. Oh well. At least it makes them easy to spot and dodge I guess?

You've killed me. It's so accurate. Reading discussions about what makes a male alpha in here is like reading female with long nose hair giving each other tips on how to crimp them and dying them bright green or something. "Men like females with long, strong hairs as a sign of fertility and vitality, it's biology".

Yes, of course. What you're looking for is a lay count that is reasonable and safe. I'd say that I am more interested in counting what he got in the last 5 years. I think it's a good bench mark to know where he's, from a pattern POV. And counting his experience (s) with serious relationship as well. A guy who's been a virgin until age 25 and goes from 0 to 15 until his 27 birthday for instance would still be a red flag. On the other hand, a guy who's been sleeping around with many girls from 15 to 25 and then get to the lower digit from 25 to 30 is fine to me. Though, again here, he better have some LTR exp.

I don't need to be a man to tell you that this is wrong. My standpoint as a woman is much more valuable to know what women are attracted to as it's direct experience for me.

Yes, there is definitely an unstable component going on there. A man who's got a high lay count gives me the feeling that he likes better to consume women in a shallow way instead of having deeper relationships. And I find it rather immature - not to say totally repulsive. I also immediately suspect underlying causes to his needs for multiple partner (a need for approval, objectification, a fear of intimacy, etc), and it just rises all my defenses mechanism. I don't feel like I can trust him and engage in anyway. And it's important to me because I need to trust in order to ever feel confortable. If I take your analogy with the lion and the lion tamer, having a high lay count tend to show that he's not not in charge of his impulses in the sexual domain. I think this is kind of also a good hint that these issues will pop out in other life areas as well. Another point that I can add is that I know females are not so thrilled for one night stand and will usually want more than sex by men. A high lay count kind of also sounds like the number of women that got burned like moth flying towards a lamp with this kind of guy. It's got something pathetic and act as a big warning.

A 1 to 1 copy paste of red pill garbage.

Yes. To me, a large lay count is actually a red flag.

For someone who enjoys teaching other people about science and logic, you're kind of off with your reply. Violet is not in need for a scientific explanation on masculine desire and/or sexual variety. If anything, you are explaining her a premise she has already based her reasoning on... Her point here is that some men are using biology as a justification for their lack of self-discipline. So what is your point here? That because 98% of your DNA is similar to that of a monkey you dont get to master your impulses and transcend the desire to fuck all you get an opportunity to ? Are you not on the actualized.org, a personal development forum which is all about evolving towards more consciousness and dropping all the bad chimp instinct? Beside... Observing a situation through a scientific process doesn't exclude the fact that there might be some extra causalities influencing the current result. An illustration of this is that weddings might be lasting now 8 years, but their duration is expanding if you analyze them through different social context through time and/or space. So biology here is not the sole factor. Weddings are also heavily dependent on culture, sociology and economical conjuncture for instance. And I suspect heavily that the development level of the parties involved in it can drastically improve the odds too.

Oh my bad. Didn't see that comment before. Well, he must have been like "Ain't got any of that amazing results with my knowledge. Where is my stage Yellow wifey?" "LiFe iS a sCaM".

Imagine the discomfort of having to act normal in front of the camera while they committed to each on that epic sex life. My father would likely have looked much less stoic than that.

A lot of people have too many blindspots in their thought process to get on the right track. There are so many problems that can make of a mind a deregulated calculator... It's like they don't have the formula to equation rightly set. And it leads them away from the essential almost systematically by a few inch. Usually, they also have plenty of holes in the bucket when it comes to holding truth. For instance, some have an incredibly strong pattern with giving away their authority. They have no grasp at the concept of epistemeology, so they build their knowledge with a lot of errors. And that's because It seems like they cannot even find this place in their experience where they question something as basic as "how do I know things?". And/or they are master at begging the question and don't get far enough to the bottom of things. A typical case that I see are those who find the Big Bang to be a satisfactory answer that check mate all the needs for further reflection. Or they don't know how to contemplate, or how to be honest with themselves and fall for a lot of self-deception trap. Also almost paradoxically, they've got too much doors that should be opened that are clogged with delusions. So they remain hermetic to a lot of the correction one could bring to their inner GPS. These are recurring issues that I see with those who do not manage to "see". Another point seems like they aren't usually very talented to reorient themselves alone. Usually, those who are talented have got a mechanism that get their precision level towards truth always significantly closer. A lot of people don't have this and are progressing at very slow rate.

I'm not sure to understand you. What would be an example of police mind transcendence?

Yes. It's awful. She is deeply traumatized and her life is still massively impacted by it nearly 12 years after. The guy who did it never got caught by the police, unfortunately. So she never got the chance to feel a sense of justice. She's eaten alive by the resentment she's got against him. But an extra trauma for her was how she was received by the police. She was guilt tripped for being raped as she was out at night (her mother had refused to pick her up at the bus station and she had to walk the distance between it and her house alone). They also asked her what she was wearing as one of the very first questions. They werent properly trained to address rape victim. One of the worst aspect of this story is that... nobody talked about it. Absolutely nothing happened. I used to live very close to her place and I didnt hear about the story anywhere, she had to tell herself the story through social media. Nothing in the local newspaper. Not warnings of all kind. And since that they I have concluded that most rape occuring are totally unheard off by most of the population, even those particularly gross ones that involves snapping a teenager in the street and raping them violently. For it to be talked about, they've got to be reported to the press and interest them. The immense majority of them do not make the cut. And it's particularly bad because anyway the number of rape reported to the police is already low in itself.

Oh, thank you a lot for your kind words . I really like engaging in this forum. It's like an applied philosophy space. And a lot of people here are very thoughtful and we all seek for a better comprehension of how reality functions. It makes it especially worthwhile to engage in discussions. But unfortunately, due to the fact that there aren't so many women posting, I spend a lot of time writing about what I perceive as toxic beliefs, inaccurate depictions or misconception about femininity or the feminine experience in general. As written by other members on this thread, there is a serious problem of Green integration in this forum. And it's particularly bad because one can see that a lot of individuals are convinced to be criticising Green from above when they are in fact totally oblivious to Green concepts. And it makes me spend a lot of time explaining Green and why it is valuable. Green brings a lot of feminine energy back in the spiral as such as emotions, beingness, community, compassion, care... And it doesn't suit those who are struggling with their feminine. A lot of men here are trying to maximize on masculine energy and they see the feminine as as source of disempowerment and as something which comes secondary. So there is a lot of contempt towards Green. Especially because it is still under Yellow. And curiously, somewhat people forget that Turquoise correct again the imbalances of Yellow and "succeeds" where Green fails. But the hardest thing when it comes to the forum, is that unconsciously or consciously some of these men really don't like when a woman or someone with a feminine energy tell them they are not holding the superior perspective. Because they see it as losing to someone feminine as some sort of humiliation... as per the rank it holds in their mind. Like they are being diminished in their own masculinity. So it makes it even harder to be heard. A lot of people here hold the belief that being masculine is to dominate and submit the feminine, when in fact the feminine is in control of what it wants and only surrender when it's correctly approached (...) And this pattern shows also a lot in the rape dynamic. Consent is respecting the autonomy and sovereinty of women, listening, being attuned and be willing to take a no if necessary. There is this feeling of entitlement towards femininity. Other than that- sorry to hear about your experience as a teenage boy. Creepy stories like that happened to a few guys I know. They usually remain totally quiet about it because there is a lot of taboo surrending sexual aggressions from other men. Freezing is one of the defense mechanism we hold as human. The typical freeze, flight or fight. A lot of rape victim freeze.

Cool, thanks. I'll have a look.

Thanks a lot for receiving it well and creating the space for us to narrate these tales.

Nope, I am not a 1 in 1000. This one guy was surely an original. But I got "traditionally" flashed in a park by a creep last September. He got his dick out and started polishing his weewee looking salaciously at me. I would say that getting freaked out by a pervert happens sometimes. The pace is hard to define. In the last year it happened 3 times. The other one was a guy who followed me on the street, and asked me straight how much I would want to fuck. And no, I don't look nor dress up like a street hooker. For women in general, yes it is common. I would say even, way too common. If I'd take something like flashing, a lot of my close friends got flashed in daily situation (shopping mall, waiting for transport, or in front of their buildings). I have countless of ridiculous stories. You'd be shocked how audacious and diverse creeps are. For instance at my university, there was a creep digging holes in the toilet wall spying on the girls taking a pee. And very often up to these days, I see these type of holes in public toilets or bars. I always fill them with paper toilet. I also have a very good looking girl friend who got once harassed by an old man on public transport. He sat next to her in an empty train, waited for her to stand up and tried to dig his walking stick in her ass. But these stories are only the tip of the iceberg. If I'd have to write down the number of horror that happened to me, my friend and my acquaintances, you'd stop laughing pretty fast. As I wrote it in another post, a friend of mine got raped by a stranger walking back home and an acquaintance was driven away in a ghetto and raped with a knife on a mattress.

Na. He was walking the two hands inside his pants. That's what caught my attention in the first place. I was wondering "why would anyone do that?". But at this point he was already 2 meters close. I thought seriously he was planning to get his dick out and flash me 2 seconds after I noticed what he was doing. Instead of being flashed, he got them out and touched me with it (?...). Anyway. I'm glad it was just an arm grab at the end of the day, but I still had to walk 5-10 minutes with my arm soiled with a random strangers junk germs. ?