Etherial Cat

Really? Who does not deserve love, in your opinion? All humans should be loved. Each time you meet one, ideally you should treat them to the best of your current abilities. Of course, if someone is messing up actively with your boundaries or is being aggressive you should be careful and not want them anything near you. But it doesn't mean that you do not care for them and their well being overall.

By doing this type of stuff you're just sending a clear signal that she was right to ditch you. You've got to be loving towards women on a constant basis to be a catch. Here, you're showing a dark part of yourself.

Your title is perfect. Also, I never see any "cringe" worthy displays from you. You should believe more in yourself and your choices. Your self-image doesn't reflect accurately how gifted you are and easy to appreciate.

You work on it by gathering resources on the topic, and studying it extensively. You find some mentors and try to see how they do it and "absorb" their pattern, way of thinking etc... And then you also meditate on the subject of Love as a whole. You contemplate it. You try to practice it... until it becomes a part of you.

It reminds me of a stage Green version of priest doing disgusting things within the Church. People who identify as being "good" have potentially a huge shadow.

What you are after is not her. You are looking for your own ability to love yourself.... Her rejection is painful because you've delegated her the power to judge of your own worth. But YOU did that. She's a proxy in your mind and you want her love so you can love yourself back. But the trick is... you don't need her for that. The real problem is that you don't manage to directly love yourself. Hope this helps?

I'm loving this. And I've also seen my long laundry list of expectations reduced to nothing in front of the evidence.

Yes, definitely.

Oh gosh. Sounds like this one made it to the list because of a previous bad experience.

You've got to learn how to Love Yourself @StarStruck. It's always down to that... You will be your biggest provider and then the world will reflect that energy. I'm sending you all my compassion. You indeed seems to be very sad and broken hearted. It's great that you are working with Teal Swan. Check also Emerald's channel for working with your emotion and healing your relationship with the Feminine. Leo's video on Self-Love is also really great. I'm sorry for your pain, but it seems like this is exactly what you needed. You need this healing. Looking in this direction will give you far better results than if your pick up journey had gone smoothly so far. Courage!

It's "training". If it were easy, everyone would be there... Leo said it all.... I don't mean to scare you but.. this will be your problem until the ego is transcended. And in maaaaaaany life areas. Shifting from a survival oriented perspective to an abundance based perspective is a big chunk of Consciousness work. By accepting the situation. You're pretty much pushed into the water pool to swim and reach the other side. There is nothing good in this water for you except for the challenge itself. Kicking, screaming, complaining or asking us for help on the forum will not change anything , unfortunately. You just got to accept that you won't get "laid" by this girl in this circumstances now. She's exerting her free will, and you're left behind. You've got to accept that this is what is, surrender and let go of her. Anything else will be a waste of your energy. Everyone has been suffering hell because au being attracted to another being (in fact many other beings) and facing some limitations at some point. The suffering is just part of the dance. It is necessary to gain experience. You can't shelter yourself from it. And it is what makes you good at "relationships" eventually. See yourself as a Pokemon gaining XP points.

Yes, absolutely . This has been my experience so far.

Mindfulness meditation is of serious help not to get totally sucked on by some excessive loathing and negative thoughts once a relationship gets busted. And anything that is rising your awareness and helps you change your perspective is the direction you want to go. The issue is that "you" are projecting your own sense of lack on "them" . So you need to refocus your energy on yourself as "you" are the origin of the problem. When I get upset and i'm overtaken by emotions, I try to observe them, feel them, see their root cause and use them as a sort of compass. I know I can't solve my psychology overnight, but I take "notes" and investigate. Also, knowing how to move on with your life, to "let go" of someone gracefully is a quality that makes one attractive. To me, keeping this in sight helps. It's almost like nature shows us the way.

Yes. There are right reason to be wary of someone's sexual past, as it can have ripple in the present moment. But it all depends on context. It's not uncommon for people to change. It would be silly to miss on great matches because of being severe with such standards. Maybe an underlying reason is that you wish for someone to have a special relationship with you mostly and not with tons of other people?

I really like this video. So If I had to pick up only one, I'd chose it This one gave me a a natural provisory enlightenment. So I'm particularly fond of it. -- But generally speaking, I would say that his portfolio of video is of such quality that they almost all deserve to be watched. At least the most recent ones (up to 3-4 years ago). The ones which are worth skipping are those that were obviously done in a different era and have too much Orange in it. Yes. Yourself. Follow your inner Guru. Nowadays, I look for spiritual teachers who resonate especially with me and bring out my own knowledge. The more I find them beautiful, the more I know that their style of teaching has a piece of who I am under the veil of ego... In my case, I resonate with a triumvirate of Love, Truth and Consciousness. And at the specific moment, I have a strong focus on actuality, a lot of my consciousness work is directed at the now itself. So you won't be surprised if I tell you that my favorite spiritual teacher is Eckhart Tolle (and he has always been anyway- his teachings are simple but effective). But literally, everyone is my teacher. I am not attached to one of them in particular. I diversify my sources through space, time and medium. That said, youtube is certainely very convenient. And there I like the videos made by Rupert Spira, Adyashanti, Francis Lucille, Marianne Wiliamson, Tara Brach, Matt Kahn, etc. I like the fact that they have a lot of video on common contemporary issues. So you've got a good pool of Q&A coming from them. And lately, I have also started listening to Nahm's videos.

I didn't write this answer to get in an argument with you.... And this is not some "nitpicking". There is a recurring pattern of certain male holding this kind of believes and you obviously have it as well. So this is not just a little detail. Highlighting this contradiction was not designed to harm you nor getting you defensive but to help you see this double standard and maybe look into it. That said, it's not going to happen if you brush it off.

So labeling someone a beta male is insulting, but talking about women being ran on is okay?

Oh well, I suck at music lingo too. All I can tell you is that they were part of the "Nouvelle scène rock française" current. It lasted 3-4 years in the mid 2000s (mostly 2005-2008). Similar bands were BB Brunes, Second sex, Les Plastiscines... Fun times!

Lol! No way, Naast ! What is this flashback to my teen years? Never expected anyone to ever post that song on this forum.

Thank you for your suggestions, Anahata. I'm going to particularly pay attention to that and even try to spin it off to all interactions that I have. I've been experimenting with psychadelics in the last months. I've started with Mescaline. And it's been very loving and healing even if I had a difficult first trip. I've also been looking for LSD and it seems like I have a good opportunity to get my hands on some. I am looking forward to try it. I'm curious, did you get your permanent shift thanks to psychadelics or were they mostly a great aid? -- I must say, your approach and way of teaching/pointing towards Truth/Love seems to be amongst the most effective ones for me. And just by being, you get me to remember/discover what is close to what seems/should be my own approach. Somewhat there is something that feels like coming home, and/or meeting myself through you. Much love and a lot of thanks.

Very accurate. Thanks for writing this. also @RendHeaven, your post was spot on .

Consider that if you were a hard case incel, moving to a milder position might look like a huge shift. Because everything is relative. But to the average person, you might appear stuck in the incel paradigm. There are no teams. And relationships shouldn't be seen as a zero sum game. Exactly. Your inner posture and approach towards girls, as well as how you are perceiving yourself is the splinter you've got in the foot. There is a strong inner rejection mechanism within you towards girl that sabotage you energetically. Also shadow work could do wonders in order to help you. I wish you good luck and hope things will work for you in the future.

I see what you see here ... though I am aware of it only theoretically as I am feeling a thick sense of separation. I've been just wondering if there wasn't some specific forms who were particularly helpful to guide you until this ultimate realization? This Consciousness has no memories of being born. All I have is some recollection of this body being small and second source narration of my birth. Also, my knowledge about Reality indicates that form comes from Big Bang and that Life (the formless) was always present in the universe. My body is the product of a long interplay between the form and the formless until it took the provisory shape of me as a human being. So I in that sense, I am both its Child and Its Mother, in one unique Consciousness. But I still feel separate. This body experience fear, distrust, sadness, shame, jealousy, anger or grief on an emotional level while meeting other forms and fail to see unity or perfection on a daily basis. How can I see "others" as me and replace these emotions with Love & Trust, which are our true nature?

I do. ? We are all around each other . Thank you for blessing us with such beauty. -- Just a question: Dearest Anahata, who have been your teachers? Would you be kind enough to orient me towards some non-dual love based sages ? I sense within you the perfect balance of the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine. Mind and heart in full synergy. Beautiful, really!

@Anahata Reading your posts is such a pleasure. I really resonate with your words and energy.