Etherial Cat

It seems like you need to build again some self-esteem and self-love and work on your relationship with yourself . I am also reading a lot of powerlessness there. I'd suggest you'd start working on on all these 3 points. I'm also suffering of a lot of powerlessness, so I understand how difficult this is, but that's exactly what you want to look into. For that, it's only you and yourself. No need to confront yourself to women. What are you doing with most of your time, then? Do you have any hobbies? Or is it mainly work?

@Andrew John Why such hopelessness ? Why are you giving up? What makes you believe you can't get a woman? What's been your social life like?

Is my question really this shallow? I mean, freedom of speech and freedom of religion (as an enforced social construct) isn't sheltering you from politics. Especially when those supposed to grant you this protection (let's say the government via its administration) suddenly see you as a threat. Martin Luther King was harassed by the people supposed to grant him these rights. Osho is rumored to have been poisoned by the Reagan administration. Truth is a devil's biggest threat.

The window to talk or ask her on another date was before you guys said goodbye. Now you'll show confusion and inconsistency.

It seems like in IT circles, there is a lot of suspicion for most services to have a backdoor. I would guess most mainstream services do have one and cooperate with secret services whenever it is necessary. If it's not automated. I'd assume some more niche one's don't have them, though. Telegram also pretend they have no backdoor. Threema too. I think. But i've always been wondering, what prevents phone companies to access remotely your phone and search for what they want anyway? And what about the servers? The datas going through cables? You've got definitely a bit of fame. Aren't you afraid to be politically targeted and monitored for your teachings?

Yes, definitely. But seems like she isn't up to have that discussion and came up with some cover up story. Perhaps it still possible without being awkward to ask her what's been up for real. But I'm not sure she'll be 1) honest about it 2) change her mind afterward. I personally absolutely hate when someone flakes on me and stop investing. They basically put you on your backfoot waiting for them to make up your mind and keep your emotions hostage. It's not to take lightly.

Relationships (whatever they are) are subject to disconnection from the other part. This can happen anytime, regardless of your own quality due to the fact that the other has the choice to leave it. From your narration, you seem to have been very high value. And she was obviously charmed. Now her context seems to have change. Maybe she recontextualized stuff. What I would do is to keep it gracious despite the hurt (and maybe keep on the back of my head she came up with a cheap explanation) and proceed like you're moving on. And actually move on, because you don't have the choice anyway. The closer you can keep to the pattern "What would someone who loves himself and still respect her choice would do?" the better you'll be. By noticing she might lose a great guy, she might come back and be pushed to mend the relationship and give you an explanation on why she disconnected. Then you'll see if you want her back or just keep on looking for another girl. One who is actually available for what you are looking for.

NoSelfSelf puts the bar high. I don't know about others, but you're not even close to trigger that reaction when I read you. Your posture is also very different and much more respectful. So don't worry. Beside, we are all here to grow . I embarrass myself, do mistake and say stupid things way too often to blame anyone for that.

It's a disgrace a moderator write such things. Seriously. Is this 1955?

Hey, thanks for that video. It's been very useful.

Yep! I do have nearly 15 years of experience with it. A dermatologist prescribed it to me when I was a teenager to help with some acne. And then, by the time of my early 20s I started using it on my face to keep my skin clear and prevent future wrinkles In certain countries, it is to be found over the counter and you don't need a prescription. But in most countries you have to ask for a prescription. It is safe. The product has a long track record (it's been approved since 1962) but you still need to use it properly as it is quite potent. Though, I don't have experience with using it on the body. I had a quick look on Google et it seems like it's safe. Regarding your body acne, you might want to check what are the underlying factors. I luckily don't have any so I am not very much aware but some people get it because they have food intolerance they aren't aware of, I've heard somewhere. Then you might want to learn a Scandinavian language. It comes off as an important requirement on the job market, there. I had entertained at some point the possibility to move there. Their weather and daylight/nightlight ratio is awful, though. Note that you don't need a Swiss citizenship to stay in Switzerland. You can get a permanent residency quite easily if you've got a EU citizenship and a job. And yes sure. You've got developed people more or less everywhere. Good luck!

Have you ever tried Retin-a ? Some men project the relationship they have with their own feminine side outwards. Unconsciously, they see everything Feminine as secondary and expect their woman to take on the same role. Usually, that comes especially from men who are a bit insecure about their masculinity and try to max it out. But I also think that women tend to mimic naturally a non-submissive posture which is quite similar and can be mistaken as such. When I am totally awed by a man and won over I am very open and receptive to his wishes. I'll just not give him anything I need for myself and can't be given away, because I need it to function and be happy. This allows me to be generous with the rest. You can find them anywhere at random, but there are specific sociological factors that facilitate finding them in certain areas in high concentration. Usually, in areas where stage Green and beyond is common for a long time. Honestly, a city like San Francisco has an incredible quality pool, for exemple! In the USA, you've got a lot of quality men in California and on the northern part of the East Coast. In Europe, the Netherlands, Scandinavia, Germany, Switzerland have definitely areas where you can find some. And you find them around social spaces quality guys go to Your development will be slowed down by remaining in an area like that. And your opportunities as well. Honestly, the chances that your authenticity and needs will be crushed by some stage Blue nonsense is high. You might want to learn an extra-foreign language ASAP and go to corresponding country. Probably one where you get a high amount of these "quality guys". You are welcome. I'm happy to help!

That is indeed a hellish bargain society still too often overlook. Good for you that you are aware of the trap and stick your ground. They won't be the ones dealing with this situation. --- Also, I think you are totally right rejecting being submissive as a high value quality. These recurring request for women to be submissive, which are also passed here often as an "essential" feminine quality is a common misunderstanding of what the feminine principle is about. No human relationship is viable whenever one individual submit its individuality to someone else's. It is impossible for a woman to shrink its individuality, feelings and thoughts to the wishes of a partner and remain sane.

@somegirl I don't think you are asking for too much. I've met guys like this before so they certainly exist. I have noticed a pattern from some men (those who are having a hard time getting a girl) to ask women to lower their standards. That request is more an unconscious attempt to lower the bar so they'd have an easier time finding a partner. It is not personal. And it doesn't come off as very elegant of them. I would say that if you want the type of men you describe, you need to occupy social spaces where you can find them. I totally second Leo on his advices. Ideally, you would also like to move into developed areas (cities with a fair amount of Green +) where you have a high concentration of equally developed individuals. I would also try to develop yourself and heal your past traumas, gradually. As Jung said "as long as you don't make the unconscious conscious, it will rule your life and you'll call it faith". You should also build a healthy relationships with yourself as much as it is possible, as it will mirror who you will ultimately attract.

One of my favorite intellectual and source of inspiration is Natalie Wynn, a transgender woman. Perhaps watching her video could foster some insights. https://www.youtube.com/c/ContraPoints Good luck!

@BeHereNow Being ourself and dropping the mask challenges the status quo and our previous relationships. And as we are social animals it is normal to be afraid to go against the flow. We are all interdependent when it comes to having our important needs met. In that way, we are like children who are depending on their parents for survival but our parents have been replaced by a larger pool of humans. Yes, our authenticity should always prevail. The question is, do we have the courage of stating our truth and how? I'm not a transgender woman but I understand some of the issue you are facing because I've been struggling with individuation and authenticity for a while now. What I have found out is that it's easier to do if you surround yourself with very tolerant individuals (stage green+) willing to accept you without judgment and with plenty of support. And if you don't live in a progressive city, you might want to move in one of them. And of course, you've got also to manage to inner aspect of it, which is you accepting, loving, embracing who you are.

@HypnoticMagician Your intellectual superiority shines through your writing. We are all very much impressed .

I'm currently reading "Why does patriarchy persist?" by Carol Gillian and Naomi Snider. It is extremely insightful. It relies both on social sciences and psychology and explore concepts as such as attachment theory in order to explain the notion of patriarchy. I'm 1/3 through and the author even mentions concepts as such as the shadow. Carol Gillian used to have a chair at Harvard in Gender Studies. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carol_Gilligan SD wise I'd say it is stage Yellowish looking back at stage Green. The emphasis on love, its repression and relationships in general though is spot on and makes it approach valuable or later stages as well. I find it to be a sort of rosetta stone between secular thinking and spirituality. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/39971978-why-does-patriarchy-persist

Nobody said it would be a magic pill, though. For sure, boundaries is always a tough thing to set up. Girls do that a lot (using people to talk about their problems). If it isn't reasonable, just cut it off and tell her she should seek extra help because it's out of your reach.

Attractiveness is basically the ability to incarnate self-love and Self-Love on an energetic level. Pick-up gets frowned upon when it tries to emulate God-likes characteristics through its rules/principes but misses the mark. It gets off when the guy comes from a space of lack and try to emulate something that isn't true to him and/or he treat women totally out of the golden rule, unlike how God would. God is the Chad/Stacey... And the ultimate studs are humans who incarnate the most God like qualities on the relative while being very human.

As you say, intimacy is a multi-level phenomenon and what you can get in two hours is limited by definition. I have also noticed that the the intimacy I can get with someone is proportional to his/her level of Self-Knowledge and ability to match my development level. So I can spend days or even years with a specific person without never getting very far from an intimacy standpoint and meet someone and feel like we are oddly kinda close. But this is quite rare, not to say exceptional. And even with them, it feels like in two hours it is too soon for our similarities to unfold and be exposed in a natural way. Often, I see myself seeing through them, with them having no abilities to see through me. Which makes the situation lonely and unsatisfactory. Also, sex alone doesn't create intimacy. You've got several type of intimacy to look for from what I have noticed. Intellectual intimacy and emotional intimacy are coming to my mind. Again, it takes a rare animal and I can't speed up 10 years + of self-help for the normal chap to meet me where I am at. So for these reasons I disagree that you can create any satisfactory intimacy with random strangers in 2hours. But you can certainly wow a random girl /guy you meet at the club and give it a taste of what it intimacy is like on her/his side. And that's particularly easy because you've probably been as some point in your life where this person currently is. You perfectly get the place they are coming from, but they've got no idea about your own experience. And if she would, she'd be aware of the fact that you are out doing pick up on her, trying to have sex in 2 hours because if that's not her, any other one will do. So that's not very appealing, I think.

@Leo Gura Intimacy is kinda a two way street. Do you seriously mean that you manage to build in 2 hours intimacy with girls you meet at the club when you tell us we are too thick to get your insights on the regular? I'm not buying it.

Yes. @cjoseph90 typically said she was into something serious and would be hurt if the guy would treat her as casual sex. She wants to avoid that specific situation. There is nothing stingy with that.

Yep. Imagine how stupid one feels after this. Avoiding this scenario is a woman's top priority, hence all the safeguards and questioning. It's especially bad if she gets emotionally involved only to be dropped like an old sock. And this happens a lot because woman sexuality is very wired towards feelings. ^ The female side of things.