TheAvatarState

Day 13: Energy: 3 Awareness: 3 Sexual thoughts/urges: 3 Self-esteem: 4 Social confidence: 4

Last night, I did a small-ish dose of DMT (20-30 mg) to get a feel for it again. I was not close to blasting off into hyperspace, but I did have some intense visuals. However, something really insane happened that blew me away! I was a little nervous going in, but I was ready to surrender to whatever came to me. After I took the second hit, I laid back on the couch and began to close my eyes. Right after I did so, I brought my arms up in front of me to bring them behind my head in a resting position. As I see my hands come up, I start to relax into amazing close-eyed visuals... WAIT, OMG, MY EYES ARE CLOSED!! How did I see my hands?? What the fuck?? I experiment with this more, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing at first. I was seeing energy fields (like an outline) of my waving hands WITH MY EYES CLOSED. It was extremely colorful and psychedelic. Not only that, but every second or two I'd get a little flash of vision that was identical to if I had opened my eyes... with no visuals. How fucking weird is that? I started second-guessing myself, wondering if maybe my eyes were fluttering open and I just wasn't feeling it. So I pressed my fingers on the bottoms of my eyelids to MAKE SURE they were closed, and sure enough, I was actually seeing the room as if they were open! Needless to say, I was pretty shocked after that experience and didn't know what to make of it. Today while I was researching, I found a documentary that showed this ability being taught to children with great success. Apparently this is something you can train yourself to do! If you have time, please watch it. Does it PROVE this ability exists? No. But please try to keep an open mind, and keep your false skepticism at bay... I know what I saw. This shit is real.

@pluto yes, I'm beginning to believe... Wow! That's incredible. I will go to an ayahuasca ceremony with a real shaman some day. I have experimented with ayahuasca a little bit myself, but I need to go way deeper.

@ULFBERHT the real mindfuck comes when you realize your everyday conscious experience is nothing BUT mindfuck. Reality is a strange loop: irreducibly mystical. You're just not aware of it yet. Your search for mindfuck itself will ultimately be a strange loop, because there's nowhere to go!!

Luck does not exist in this line of work, my friend. Individually everyone has to battle their inner demons, which to them subjectively is the hardest thing they'll ever have to do. Putting others on a pedestal and calling them lucky only harms yourself and fuels a victim mentality. This isn't to belittle your struggles in any way whatsoever, I feel you. Really try to see what I'm saying here from a higher perspective.

@Paan really great for you to admit all this stuff to yourself, and to take a higher- level perspective of how your habits are holding you back from the type of growth you want to achieve. As I was reading your story, something occurred to me (just because this is how my mind works, and how I know other minds to truly work under the surface). I'm not saying this is true for you, but hear me out and Guage for yourself. I was thinking, what's special about watches? Then I thought about The Power of Now by Ekhart Tollé and our addictions to psychological time, and how deeply ingrained that is in each of us. So read The Power of Now. And then consider if your identity tied to watches is actually speaking to a much deeper identity to the illusion of time itself...

As long as your dose is 2g or under, and your set and setting are good, then you're basically guaranteed a blissful and easily steerable/manageable trip! However, having an EXPERIENCED trip sitter could give you peace of mind, and is definitely recommended when going to higher doses for the first time. Let us know of your travels!

Denver, Colorado! If any of you live within a few hours drive (even neighboring states), I'd love to hear from you! It would be awesome to meet other fellow self-actualizers!

That's exactly what your question plays into, and precisely what I wanted to avoid. All such debates are pointless, due to the fact they're completely subjective and groundless. As a self-actualizer, you must work to understand, then love all viewpoints and notions of good and bad. Just the fact you're posting this thread means you haven't opened yourself up to enough viewpoints to see the beautiful, yet partial truths in each one. The validity of each perspective... No you don't. All self-deception has a common thread: you think you know something which you do not know. All that being said, if I had to give an answer, it would be close to Leo's 65 Core principles for living the good life. Life is a love simulator, so learning to love is key. Be present, raise consciousness. No ideology. Systems thinker, etc... Again, this is all subjective and from the narrow human perspective, and moreover, only applicable in the 21st century, most likely. Such an answer still has its dangers, and if not understood, you have the possibility of treating it as an ideology.

@thematrixyz it will only work if you fully believe it will work. This cannot be faked. Of course, this will seem like a catch-22 for you, because you want the "proof" before you start... Well, take a little leap of faith of a little time investment. The proof is in the work itself. What's the worst that could happen?

@Aakash saying the hero's journey is ultimately narcissistic is like saying Spiral Dynamics is ultimately judgmental. While it could be interpreted in that way, it itself is just a model based on much research about general trajectories of human development. The projection of narcissism or the projection of judgment or pigeon-holing others is completely of your own doing. Could a narcissist begin the hero's journey? Sure. Humility by helping others is often a lesson along the hero's journey, and certainly by the end, that person would be humble and ready to share what he's learned.

That's all the hero's journey ever was. Don't confuse the map for the territory, it's just a helpful model on how to view your journey of self-discovery. That's like saying Spiral Dynamics is overly judgmental...

@Leo Kaminski watch Leo's Self-Deception series parts 1-3. Basically, study your own ego, raise awareness and consciousness. Chop wood, carry water. Do the practices! Everything you need can be found within, and MUST be found within to truly be known, to prevent you from turning this into ideology. It doesn't matter how pure the teachings are, your mind WILL corrupt and abuse them if you are not actively mastering your inner game.

No, quantum computers will not run VR. They're good at simulating complex systems for research, but the actual running of VR is heavily graphics based. Normal computers are up to the task, it will just continue to get better. Why would you want VR to simulate a psychedelic trip? For just the visuals? You know that the benefit of psychs comes from the change in mind state? 5-meo barely has any visuals.

Day 12: Energy: 3 Awareness: 4 Sexual thoughts/urges: 4 Self-esteem: 3 Social confidence: 4 I only slept 5 hours last night, so I felt pretty shitty. I noticed that I've become more sensitive to sleep patterns since I've been sleeping better and more regularly...

The Void. Infinity. Since reading Leo's blog post on Aztec nonduality, I like Teotl.

@Leo Gura you've never done 300ug or higher? Smart man...

@sarapr Stage blue people think their stage is the best and don't want to be helped. The only thing that really pushes up stage blue people is the raising collective level of society. Over a person's lifetime, the collective ego can go from blue into Orange, and therefore the individual can skew more orange. But fundamentally, blue is so closed minded that some freak event or inner calling has to happen to where their reality is shattered enough to move up more than 1 stage.

@PretentiousHuman this is something you'll eventually have to experience yourself, as what is being said is pointing beyond the mind. Kriya and self-inquiry are excellent practices to get to know yourself better, and when you do, these insights and understandings will come to you that will be more and more in line with Leo's video. Best of luck!

Conscious people act in "Bad" ways in the eyes of society all the time! Psychedelics are illegal. What they say is offensive and triggering. Their views are so "out there" that they're deemed lunatics by mainstream society. Now, the conscious person isn't acting in a "Bad" way to himself or to others, but it is seen as bad from low consciousness society's perspective. Also, everyone has flaws. Alan Watts died a raging alcoholic. "Good" people can turn into cult leaders. What I'm hoping to do here is to help break down your rigid notions of good and bad, and to see that it's all a fabrication and highly relative. Stop thinking in terms of good and bad, it's not truthful or helpful. Think more in terms of conscious and unconscious. Well, you might object that level of awareness or consciousness is relative too. We'll, as it turns out, consciousness is a universal aspect of reality, and everyone experiences consciousness the same, as we are all one unified field of Consciousness. It isn't quantifiable or logical, but nevertheless it is an irreductible part of our experience. A conscious person will be aware that he is part of an intricately connected system, and will see how he affects his environment, IS his environment, and will act in a responsible and healthy way. An unconscious person will act out of ignorance and damage others and his environment without realizing, even though he thinks he's "good" and has the best intentions.

This is the greatest blunder you could have made... time to go back to Square One.

Without a doubt, it's to realize you know nothing.

This is a dualistic distinction that you were spoonfed by society. Neither good nor bad exist, they are conceptualizations based solely on an individual perspective. In other words, all identity is relative and fluid. What is good or bad to you would not be to someone else, and even if you generalize a population into a collective ego that seems to have a moral compass of its own (spiral dynamics explains this), then the very rule is that society is ALWAYS evolving and changing to higher consciousness values. A society's notion of good and bad changes all the time. So then you might ask, "These higher consciousness values are certainly the gold standard for 'good' right? Since that's where we're evolving towards?" Well, this gets tricky because what is "good" at one stage can be very bad at another. So from what perspective are you looking to answer this question? From society's perspective, what's good or bad depends on their stage in the spiral. From a universal perspective, good and bad don't exist and there's no difference in how one acts. From an ecological perspective, then ecological awareness (footprint) is "good" and unconsciousness is "Bad." I think that as people on this planet, that's the very least we should be doing.

Ah, it makes perfect sense ?

I actually can't understand why you WOULDN'T want to live it! Isn't the whole point of a "fantasy" something that you dream about and want? That crazy, mystical experience that was beyond your wildest dreams? Well, that IS reality! Like, I really don't understand this question!