Zeldor

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About Zeldor

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  1. @CroMagna Honestly, I don't even know if I want to go to college. Instead of becoming a professor, I might make my own "class". If I become a professor, i'll have to jump through hoops and teach what the principal wants me to teach. Also, although there isn't a large market for philosophy teachers, there is a large market for parents who want their children to become successful. So I can market from that angle.
  2. Hi, I just finished watching Leo's latest video and I think I have a very, very, very rough idea for what I want to do for work when I grow up. In one sentence - I want to be a philosophy professor who teaches people how to teach themselves. There are 3 reasons I think this would be a good life purpose for me. 1) I love philosophy. Doing philosophy gives me the same feeling that doing yoga does, sometimes an even better feeling. 2) I want to teach a class and not teach over a media platform. This will allow me to put more effort into each individual, and I think it would be more fun/stimulating for me. 3) I want to teach people how to teach themselves. I think this would have a bigger impact on people, and would require less time. I have 2 questions: 1) What questions should I ask myself? 2) What skills should I cultivate while I still have an "abundance" of free time? Thanks in advance. P.S: I probably won't teach spirituality. Instead I'll teach self-actualization because I think this would be a less controversial method. I can't buy the life purpose course because I am financially dependent on my parents. I'm scared that if I ask them to buy me the course, they'll look into him and see his videos on psychedelics/god. I'm currently trying to raise their level of trust in me. I will probably try to answer any question I get on this forum. This helps me organize m thoughts, get feedback, and get motivation. It also gives me a place to store my research.
  3. @Mu_ Yeah, i'm doing kriya yoga for 30 mins, or 1 hour if i can. It's not that I don't have free-time, but i have a lot less free-time than i used to. The yoga definitely helps with the frustration i get from lack of progress(:
  4. @Serotoninluv &@Mu_ Thank you both(: I'm probably going to stop posting in this forum for a while. I'm at the point in my school career where it's a little hard to keep up, and trying to do school and philosophize at the same time is making me lose sleep ): Thank you all for listening to me ramble on.
  5. @Shin Lol, thank you for reminding me. I think the title is a bit of a misnomer though. I don't claim to be enlightened, i just didn't understand why i wasn't. The people on this forum made me rethink my question. I am infinity, i am everything, i just haven't felt it. @Mu_ I think i have deepened my understanding of free will. I know you said i should try to feel things but i think intellectually understanding things will help me feel them. That way i kind of know what i'm searching for and should be choosing to feel? I think beliefs are a very important part of choosing. After all your beliefs change how the world feels to you. For example if you believe you are angry, the world appears to have more things to be angry at. Same with sadness and happiness in my experience. I think this is also why gurus emphasize surrender so much. If you surrender yourself to the idea that you are infinity, you get closer to becoming it. What you believe dictates your reality to a degree.
  6. @Mu_ So I think I have a conceptual answer for what is free will. I read in a book somewhere that free will is the ability to choose whether to look inside or out. I think it is more than that, I think it is the ability to choose what to be directly conscious of or what to "feel". So everything and nothing is already happening around me but I haven't "chose" to be conscious of it. I don't know if I am actually "choosing" to have these realizations though. Can you choose to be directly conscious of not choosing or choosing? Or both simultaneously?
  7. @Mu_ Wow, so you're saying that I should try to feel things along with understanding them? Do you think feeling is another way of saying "becoming directly conscious of"?
  8. @Leo Gura I don't know if i'm misunderstanding something here, but I don't claim to be enlightened, or to even understand this aspect of enlightenment, I just understand it "better" than how I've previously understood it. To your first question, I have no idea what I should identify with, but if i'm being honest, I identify most with being a mind. I still want happiness even though happiness is a concept and different from just being, which is closer to what I should be aiming for? To your second question I think that depends on what I identify as. If I do identify with anything then my identification will probably collapse but I will still exist? As you've said in the past, I don't think I could explain why I exist, but if we go off the assumption that I do, then I think you'd have to go "back" to the origin of existence. Since I think existence is the same as non-existence, I don't think there was ever a origin of existence. I think that the only way existence couldn't exist is if it was non-existence, and since non-existence is existence, that means existence has always existed. Since I exist now, that means that I probably have existed for all eternity and probably will keep on existing for all eternity. Of course if someone pointed a gun at me i'd probably be scarred and try to run away. I think I have an "ok" model that explains why i'm immortal but I haven fully "embodied" the idea. I also can't really explain why I think non-existence = existence, but i make that claim on the logic derived from All is One.
  9. @SoonHei lol, that's pretty cool, the last line describes part of what I felt pretty well. Are you saying that my understanding was the understanding that there is infinite content within the container that is all the same/different? And that actually being enlightened is becoming the container where all these experiences are actualized. That when you become enlightened you have a constant pathway to witness all these experiences. If this is true, does becoming enlightened mean that not only do you understand the fundamentals of what reality is, but all the ways reality could be, like you would know all that there is to learn. Even though it all appears the same, that it is all also different and that there are individual aspects to be understood? That all Is one also means one is one and not all? @Dodo I know your response wasn't directed at me, but is Mu an advanced form of skepticism. Like skepticism that's even skeptical of itself? https://www.thoughtco.com/what-is-mu-in-zen-449929 (are links allowed? This is where I "learned" what mu is). @Leo Gura I definitely don't think I became enlightened, if I did, then I would be kind of disappointed because that experience wasn't the most amazing experience that I think is possible(: I think for all your what questions, I would say they're all the same, but as I explained in my first paragraph that they also may be individual aspects that I need to understand independently from another, which means I definitely have more work to do. Yay? For your why reality is this way, I think that's because it has to be this way, that all the other ways it could be would limit it and then it wouldn't be absolute. I am definitely not conscious of infinity.
  10. Hi, I just came down from around a week long high. During the final part of this high, which was around an hour ago, I felt like I "grasped" enlightenment. It was probably the happiest experience in my life, and this is what I appeared to have grasped: Basically that all is one and one is all. This includes paradoxes like everything is nothing and it is also wrong to say everything is nothing. That the Absolute Truth is wrong, is partial, does not exist, does exist, is absolutely true, can be intellectually understood, and can't be intellectually understood. That I am enlightened and not enlightened. It also included a bunch of other things that can be derived using this logic. I am going to stop using this logic to save time. But using this logic will also not save time. This is confusing.... but it is also easy to grasp...…… WTF! I have a couple of questions. 1. Am I correct? Is this logic only partially true? 2. Is this a enlightenment experience? 3. Is this the furthest I can intellectually understand enlightenment? 4. Why am I not enlightened? (Even though intellectually I know I am enlightened). I may edit this post to add further questions. Thanks in advance for any help you may provide.
  11. Has anyone here read Beyond Shiva by Avahtara? It is SantataGamana's biggest recommendation in Kriya Yoga Exposed. He described it as "almost a guided meditation". After doing my Kriya Yoga routine, I read it and it prolonged the After-Effect-Poise of Kriya by around an hour.