SoonHei

hmmm so not that one can "choose" to surrender... but it sounds like when the surrender happens, then it's all flowers and butterflies

@AlphaAbundance your problem lies within the question. there is no problem before your question. the problem is the why the statement after the why is not "true" there is no absolute infinity "allowing" a particular dream all of it, just IS - without a why absolute infinity is not some entity planning and creating and allowing it. it is ALL OF IT, ALL AT ONCE, all possibilities that can be... including the allowance of an illusion/dream in which it is able to escape it and including the possibility where @AlphaAbundance creates this thread to ask this question to which @SoonHei replies, including this sentence and this smiley face >>>

This life is called the mortal dream. You have to catch yourself when you take life too serious, and compare it with a dream. When you take your dream serious, and you become violently upset over something, and I try to explain to you, you're dreaming, you will never believe me, because the dream world is very powerful at that time. The doctor has diagnosed cancer, you've got two months to live. But I tell you, "You're dreaming." Do not put your energy on that. Rather turn within. See your reality. Understand that this is a dream. Well you chase me away. You do not want to accept that, because no one else believes it. Yet you wake up in the morning, and it was just a dream. Think about the problems, the wonderful experiences, everything you've been through since you were born. It appears so real, doesn't it? And even now you are a product of all your samskaras, all of your preconceived ideas, your concepts, and how you were brought up and trained. This is your life. You do not know any other life but this. Yet every person seems to come from a different upbringing. Every person has their own beliefs, their own ideas, what's right, what's wrong, what is good, what is bad. That's how wars start. That's how man's inhumanity to man begins. When you believe I'm right and you're wrong. When you begin to see things that are not right and you want to correct them. No one has ever told us, instead of doing that, dive within yourself and see perfection. See the atman. See unlimited bliss. Begin to dwell on the reality, and soon your world will become reality. When you go to a movie, there's a beginning, a middle, and an end. What is left? The screen. The movie was shown on the screen and all sorts of things transpired in the movie. People were killed, people got married, people had children, the world was bombed, yet the screen never changes. The screen remains the same. There's a story on the screen about a person who was born, he's sexually abused by his parents, he goes through all kinds of horrifying experiences, he becomes a man, becomes a serial killer. All this is going on, on the screen. Then again you see a prince. A baby is born a prince. He grows up into beautiful circumstances, has everything in life, doesn't seem to have a problem. This is too going on, on the screen. But there's an end, and all the images are gone. The screen remains, untarnished, unblemished, the same as it was yesterday, and the week before, and the year before. My friends, your true nature is like the screen. You are not the image that appears to go through different trials and tribulations, or appears to be enjoying life to the utmost. They're both impostors. You are like the screen. There never really was an image. The image appeared for a time. It appeared. It appeared due to the fact that if you try to grab the image on the screen, what would you grab? The screen. That's why it is an appearance. It is hard to believe that your life, what appears right now, is unreal, simply because you have identified with it strongly. This is what is called maya, the grand illusion. You have strongly identified with your appearance of life, and you are reacting accordingly. Every time you react you are accruing karma. Accruing karma simply means the image is continuing again and again, the ego becoming stronger and stronger. And even when you leave this body, it continues into another body. There's no end. You go through many cycles, some good, some bad. You have all kinds of experiences. But until you realize that you are not the experiencer and there's no experience, you will go through the cycles of karma again, again, again, ad infinitum, no end. It is only when you get tired of playing the game called maya, playing a part called leela, that you decide to find the answer to your existence. You have to go through the game over and over again, and finally begin to search. You become a seeker. You begin to read spiritual philosophy. You may find a teacher and you're on the path. Depending on what you do, this determines where you go from there. When you come to a meeting like this, when you attend a satsang like this, you can rest assured that you have done spiritual work in a previous life. You deserve to be here to understand the reality, to understand how to transcend the mind, the ego, the pesonal self. As you begin to practice self-inquiry, witnessing, the I am meditation, things begin to happen. You're searching for self-realization, whereas all this time, self-realization has been exactly where you are. You have always been that, yet you believe you've got to search, you've got to read books, deep philosophies, when all you had to do was to wake up. All you had to do was awaken, just as when you awaken in the morning from your dream, you awaken. It's the same thing now. You simply have to awaken. Yet what is keeping you from awakening? Your attitudes. You are attached to your emotions and you are seeing things in your life that either appear wrong or appear either appear right. As long as you have a concept of right or wrong, you can never transcend your body and become free. Some people ask, "But things are right and wrong in this world. I have to take a stand." My question to those people are always the same. "To whom is there right and wrong? Who feels right and who feels wrong?" Only the ego. In reality there's no right and there's no wrong. There are just experiences of a dream unfolding. Yet the dream doesn't exist. It never did. The world, as it appears right now, does not exist. It never did. The way you believe you are, does not exist. It never did. There is only one and you are that. There never were others. There's only the one. Yet most of you cannot feel this. You're so identified with maya that the world of appearances cause you to feel emotional. You therefore have to work on yourself. You have to do something to yourself, to help you become free. If you leave yourself alone, and you do nothing, you'll go through life, after life, after life, on various planets. You'll have various bodies, female, male, maybe other bodies. It will never end for you. Therefore you begin to question your existence. That is the first step. You question your existence. You question your existence by inquiring, "Who am I? Where did I come from? What is my real nature?" You start this early in the morning, as soon as you open your eyes. Instead of being cognizant of the world, you leave the world alone for a few minutes. You question yourself, you ask yourself, "Who is awake?" and the answer comes, "I am. I am awake." Then you realize, "I also slept, I slept well, I had a good dream," and you start to wonder about this. This same I that is now awake, is the same I that had a good dream, and the same I that slept well. "Who is this I? What is it's source?" There is a spiritual center on the right side of your chest. You may call this the God center or consciousness. It is on the right side of your chest. You begin to trace the I-thought back to that center from whence it came. Once the I goes back into the center, you become liberated. Therefore the whole idea of spiritual practice, in Advaita Vedanta, is to follow the I-thought back to the source and become free. When the I appears to leave the spiritual center it goes into the brain, and you become cognizant of I am, I am the body, I think. Then you create a world and a universe out of your mind, and the world appears to you as reality. This all happens in a split second. That's why you're not aware of it. In other words, while you were sleeping the I rested in the spiritual center. As soon as you awaken, in a split second, the I goes into the brain, you become cognizant of a body, and then a world, and then a universe, and the mortal dream begins. So, you have to vehemently make up your mind that you really want to awaken. That's the first prerequisite. How do you know if you really want to awaken? You are sick and tired of the world. You're a person who is no longer trying to change bad for good, for you realize they're both impostors. You understand that the good lasts for so long, then there is bad. The bad lasts for so long, then there is good. You get old, you leave your body, and the game continues. You have to be disgusted with this first, I kid you not. As long as you believe you're enjoying the world and enjoying your life as a human being, you cannot awaken. It's like being in a dream and you're having a wonderful dream. You just don't want to wake up. But all things in the dream must come to an end and change. If you realize that the only thing permanent in life is change, then you will treat the good things in your life the same way as the bad things in your life. You will not become emotional over them, and you will not be attached to them. That's the only time you can go further. As long as you still want to play the game of maya, and act out your part, there's no sense in practicing self-inquiry, for your attachment will keep you back from reality. But for the person who has gone through many lives and is ready to give it all up, that person can practice self-inquiry. A question arises. "When I become self-realized, do I have to go live in a cave, or in the forest, or become a hermit?" On the contrary, there are Jnanis in every field of endeavor. Yet who asked that question? The ajnani. This is one of the things you should not concern yourself over. Everything will always work itself out. Many of you call me on the telephone and tell me you're afraid of awakening. You think you'll be different, your family will leave you or you'll leave your family, you'll lose your job. This is all ignorance. None of that will happen. The only thing that will happen is you'll be awake, and you'll see the world as a superimposition on the Self. That's all. You will have exceedingly happy moments in your life when you're in delusion, but the happy moments go. When you're awake, you stay in unlimited bliss. You become unlimited bliss. There are no longer any mood swings. You're always the same. Joy, bliss, happiness, they're all rolled into one, and they are you. So the sincere student does not worry about the results, or what might happen. They're ready to go for it. When something in their heart opens and they're ready to go for it 100%, they are led to the right teacher, who can show them the way, and they follow the instructions of the teacher. That comes first in their life. Those are the beings who awaken into bliss […] Your real nature is like a universal screen. On that universal screen planets are being born, universes come and go. The earth is only a small dot on the screen. You are that screen. You are nothing else. You are Parabrahman, all-pervading. You are self-contained consciousness, absolute reality, emptiness, nirvana, sat-chit-ananda, I am that I am. That is your real nature. Therefore make up your mind. Whom shall I follow? Shall I follow my ego, my emotions and what appears to be real, or shall I begin to ignore those things and dive into my Self, becoming free? The choice is yours. -- Robert Adams, T93: Silence, The Spiritual Center

@EvilAngel lol. moving the words around doesn't matter much here it's like saying the same thing using a different accent lol but you get an A for effort but do you also see. that words alone are just labels... calling it your soul or yourself or the real you... all are words in other words, what you are after is the taste... You must taste rather than read about how it tastes reading about it in one way or more, won't give you the actual taste

@EvilAngel no. this is not unheard of sure, love your ego unconditionally... important to highlight who is it that will be loving their ego? key to avoid having the ego loving itself... also. when you write: until this point I've been watching my ego like a hawk; judging, condemning and beating myself up for existing. is it not the EGO who has been judging, condemning, beating itself up? note: YOU are not the one who will is doing any of these watching, judging of the ego.

@isabel what does "beyond the mind" mean? or how do you transcend the mind, and know that whatever it is isn't just another movement of the mind...? perfect metaphor i can use to illustrate this (keep in mind, it still isn't the full picture) Take any movie as an example Let's use a horror movie to better illustrate When the character you see on the screen reacts to and is afraid or screams in terror upon seeing the ghost/demon whatever. It is the character who is afraid (in line with the plot / happening of the movie) but the actor playing that character, is he afraid? Not one bit. He knows he is playing a character, the characters mind... He is both the character's mind and the KNOWING which transcends that character's mind. That's pretty much how the mind is transended. You still remain intimately one with the body+mind but have a DEEP EXPERIENTIAL knowing that YOU are not the one who is suffering. (similar to the actor and character example) Note that this follows that you literally are not identified with what you currently know to be yourself as the body and mind with your life story uptill now. Just as an actor knows his/her character which they are portraying on screen.

had a deep seeing yesterday during a sit where I saw how I am the appearance of my room, with everything in it i was the awareness of it all including the distinction i call my body it was very freeing but also a bit of fear - i could have gone deeper but held on due to the attachment with the fear "what if i lose control of my body and it starts to scream and do weird stuff" and a few others along this line also. the thought came, while i was mainly grounded in awareness, and staying in the unknowing - that all arises spontaneously... so though i am having this fear about whether to go deeper or not... the "choice" to go deeper or stop here will not be mine... i can only buckle up and try to relax and enjoy the ride guess that's what adyashanti means... that when the reality takes a hold of you, you are almost being dragged thru it... and i can see how that can be an issue.. only for the ego.. only the ego will find fear or resist whatever happens if lose a job happens, so it happens... ego wont like it. the unknowing awareness just accepts another thing, no matter what arises... no matter what work you do.. even all the ego traps.. or spiritual ego traps... they are unavoidable... we often hear, that the ego takes hold of the teachings and works with that to perpetuate itself... but since there is no you doing it... the fact that the ego took hold and was doing its thing is also beyond you. it is simply what's happening NOW I, as the unknowing awareness, simply knows the Plot of the movie of Life unraveling before me. being grounded in that I was very freeing... in that grounding, the fear thoughts of ego were seen. this thread's creation was inevitable me setting goals and trying to achieve them and failing, is also inevitable me finally seeing thru WHY i am unable to overcome my addictions and then as a result of this seeing, finally being able to overcome them, is also inevitable and out of my control so in true deep freedom - you as the awareness, simply allow it to unfold and be okay with it. <<< whether you do this as the ego or as the awareness - that is out of your control and inevitable as well. to be, or not to be, that is the question!

@Jack River @ajasatya <3 bless

@ajasatya we are all robots, without any programming - aren't we?

@ajasatya oh yes, i know lol. i was just making a sarcastic statement - highlighting what you had said in your post which i quoted "teachings contradict each other many times." and of course, with that said, "there are no teachings" is also a teaching #Contradiction #Paradox <3 <3

there are no teachings!

@isabel this is why it's often said words cannot pin it down fully you are first and foremost simply the awareness - which is aware of everything. you are currently identified as your body, mind, feelings etc... ergo first to get out of that paradigm, the not this and not that when one realizes that one is the awareness which is aware of all, then the next thing to realize is that being aware of something = being that thing awareness is the only thing there is, so all is made out of awareness itself. i like this analogy, when you wake up from a dream and realize it was all in your head/mind... then if you are to ask yourself, what was the body, the world, the other people, everything else in your dream made out of? it was made out of your mind. all of it. you as the dreamer of the the dreamworld created it entirely, it was centered likely on the first person POV, but it was all a creation of your mind / IT WAS ALL YOU. zoom that out in the real world awakening, you realize that you are the awareness (of Nobody) and as that awareness, you create/are everybody / EVERYTHING! and it's all one, without separation. there isn't you, the awareness and then objects which are created separate from awareness... awareness/objects are one. zero and infinite No-Thing is everything - as ONE.

@EvilAngel you can say there is just suffering Shinzen Young forumula: Suffering = Pain x Resistance if there is no pain, but 0 resistance to it, you get 0 suffering. take depression for example, removing the story revolving around that state and just investigating the physical / body emotions being felt... they mean nothing.. maybe just a contracted feeling... but if they aren't resisted, there is no suffering... and resistance is usually your story about that situation... as in your other topic you created... "resisting what is" do not resist that pain and you get no suffering but certainty jump out of the way of an oncoming car while crossing the road!

let's say that you are crossing the road and are walking at a normal pace... you see a car approaching and the driver is distracted... you know you will be hit if you don't run out of the way now... is there a need to change something external here? or would that be resisting what is? The "no need to change something external" and "not resisting what is" is not for @EvilAngel . it is for awareness. @EvilAngel is an ego-body you are right now asking this question from the POV of the ego-body... cold feet? painful... sure, get them covered or do whatever you need to make it alright. the nothing to do or resisting what is is more on the mind/psychological side of things... as far as you're concerned at the moment.

The feeling of happiness and peace itself is a soft and simple ZERO. but what gives that feeling of happiness an apparently different feel each time is the level of tension/longing which is built up until the goal has been accomplished. > Walking down the road. You see a pretty girl/guy, you have thoughts about them, create a story and so on... Movement away from what is. Goal post has been created. > Sitting at home. Out of no where, think about eating something delicious... Movement away from what is. Goal post has been created. Creating the goal post ahead, scoring the goal and then repeat. That's how you function in life. They key is realize that it may still happen that way. But you will be disidentified from it. As simply the awareness of this play. You at rest with no desires or wants are at peace. Which is the same as happiness. Happiness is what you call peace once it is had after a goal is accomplished. In telling of a joke or watching a suspenseful drama... The tension is built up and we want the release of this tension in form of a resolution. A question is asked which requires an answer to be understood to take care of that question. Simply staying in this state of zero/peace can be boring and difficult at first. Your ego finds this as sitting on a giant hot stove. It wants to move away from it and draw you away from it. Overtime, you will find to be at peace just as you are. By staying in this state for long and simply being. Then, no matter what questions your mind poses or no matter what situation arises. You will remain and watch from your eternal home of peace... Not drawn in... You will remain at zero and not let any tension build up for yourself. The ego mind will be going thru those emotions, you will have fallen simply as its background.

@Jack River yes yes. Your posts are getting more and more clearer to me. The "notice" or "be aware" words you use give that for me. Thanks. @Gabriel Antonio correct. Calm the mind initially and then let it be free and do it's thing. You just watch it. And yes, you're right, I should change that out of the signature... Or make it towards a different lesson.

"Generally we are more interested in experiencing phenomena (which are things other than ourself) than we are in experiencing ourself, so throughout most of our waking and dream life we attend to phenomena rather than to ourself. This habit of ours needs to be changed, and we can change it only by persistently trying to be aware of ourself alone in preference to being aware of anything else. This is why I said that it is necessary for us to be attentively self-aware. It is not sufficient just to be self-aware, because we are always self-aware, whether or not we are also aware of anything else, so in order to be aware of ourself alone and thereby to destroy our ego we need to be attentively self-aware."

@Sahil Pandit thank you for the share bro

@DarjeelingTea have you taken psydellics? If you have taken them, you wouldn't be asking this question. Your understanding about what's real and what's "real" will change

Ok So just had a mind fuck in regards to this topic. Random example, maybe a bit to drastic, but here it is. Let's take this current moment / reality in which we all agree that Michael Jackson died in 2009. Now, there's a way in which if one wills strongly enough and has a deep enough faith about jumping timelines/realities such that when i wake up tomorrow, and search online or wherever else. It turns out he is alive and he didn't die. Alive n singing in 2019!! Now my memory of the fact that he died will be there but nobody else will have this experience... Maybe select few (as is the case with mandela effect) but this is true. Each of us is jumping into infinite varients of parallel realities each moment/second We tend to shift to the one we likely expect to happen next or makes linear sense Mental Jerking here. But understood how this is so. Also, expanding this... The whole, "you create the life outside of you... Or you're responsible for whenever you are in life circumstances..." Makes sense This also means that my siblings and parents from when I was 10 years aren't the "same" My sister from example could be in a totally different timeline than me... Sure. She still is here in my timeline... But the same 10 year old sister branching out into other infinitely many timelines. And i, likewise, in her timeline maybe never made this account of soonHei So on. I think i have made my point and rambled enough Just some Friday night jotting.

Had a deep seeing yesterday... Which kinda got clouded... After listening to some guided tracks and seeing a post today on a Facebook page i have a question. That which i discovered is the state of peace and happiness, the I AM feeling state... Where is all questions, once answered, return to. Thus the end of seeking knowledge about who Am I? Remaining in that I AM state and marinating in the peace. Spiritual teachers and those who have had awakenings always say, "it's the most obvious thing" (once you get it, that is) as it is normally always overlooked in our moment to moment experience Is this, the I Am state of peace, the obvious state which is missed? Or is seeing thru the entire thing and getting full non-dual awareness is what's referred to when many often say it's the most obvious thing The I AM feeling, is that where one ends up after exhausting their spiritual seeking, pertaining to the mental/mind questions? Because i feel that's where i am right now. I didn't have a full non dual awareness Maybe i am taking what i have heard too seriously... Just wanna know what that "it's so obvious" refers to... Seeing of the whole oneness or just missing the fact that peace and happiness lies in that I AM state.. ?

The Desire for Absence I have always felt that there is such a thin line between what is here and what is not. All of this ‘stuff’ is only pretending to be real and solid. In fact none of it has any real substance. Even this person that I am supposed to be, when I look to find myself, I don’t find anyone or anything. It is all very surreal. I am here, and yet I am not. I feel, see, hear, experience and seem to fully participate in living as a person in this life, and yet nothing is happening at all. Time seems to tick, and I seem to be getting older and closer to the ultimate disappearance that is death, and yet death is here all the time - beyond time. The mind deals in time and space, negotiating between me and the rest of the world. But beyond all of that, there is no need for any negotiation, because there is no time or space. I love to see it like Death is only pretending to be alive. Nothing is only playing at being something. And in this playing at being something or someone, there is always the pull to disappear into the nothing. The absence calls out from beyond all the ‘stuff’, constantly stating the only true reality. It is the mystery of life, and we long to fall into that mystery and disappear. But at the same time, all that seems to be here is the play of this and that, you and me. We all have some sense of that nothingness. It underlies everything that we do or feel. Mostly we are struggling to avoid being swallowed up into the void. Without all of that effort to prove our importance and worth as a person, we are terrified to fall into that emptiness. We long for it, and at the same time, run from it. The push/pull of life and death is the great paradox of reality. Living in the world as someone, sometimes has felt such an effort. Being the nothing that I am, there is no effort required. There is no problem, no discomfort, no issues, no drama. But being someone, it can seem as if I have to carry the world on my shoulders. I am supposed to know the rules of this society. I am supposed to have a purpose and a goal. I am supposed to know how to live, and even how to die. I have always felt that push/pull of longing for the total loss of control, and absolute surrender and peace of death, and then also the everyday reality of living as this person. Sometimes I longed to lose myself totally, and not have to live this life of being someone. It seemed to be such a burden to have to carry. I longed for it all to just stop. It was too much to handle. It was too much to deal with. I became very depressed and even suicidal, because I felt I couldn’t deal with it all. I was trying so hard to do it. In order to be someone, I was desperately struggling against the nothingness. Trying to push myself into the world. Trying to hold it all together. After a while I discovered that I couldn’t win this struggle. I had to let go and drown. When I let go of control and fall into the emptiness that is always here right now, it is so much easier. There is no conflict between what is, and what isn’t. It is only the mind that wants to land in one side or the other. It is in fact a paradox of both. I don’t need to even understand it. All that is happening, is simultaneously not happening. Consciously acknowledging that, brings peace. Death is already here. The absence that I long for is already here, and at the same time life seems to go on being lived. I am not in control of any of it. I don’t need to do any of it. In fact, it, is doing me. Article written for the Dutch magazine Inzicht.

You come under the law of karma […] when you believe you're not awakened, you're not free, you're not liberated when you react to person, place or thing. […] I know there are many people in Advaita Vedanta who tell me, "Well you know Robert karma does not exist. Only the Self exists. Only effortless pure awareness exists. So why are you telling us about karma?" In truth you have to look at yourself and ask yourself, "Have I experienced pure awareness? Have I experienced absolute reality? I can't afford to put on an act. It will only go against me." […] So while we're on the path to liberation we have to be very careful what we do with our lives. Every little thing is karmic. It is only when you awaken, when you are liberated that none of this exists. This is why I tell you so often, "Do not fool yourself." Look at how many times a day you become angry. You feel cheated, you feel exploited. You feel something is wrong someplace. You feel depressed. You go and do something to cause this condition to stop and whatever you do you're accruing karma. There is only one way to overcome this. And that is to forget about the world, forget about your body, forget about situations and go deep within yourself inquiring, "To whom does this come? Who is experiencing karma?" […] Karma seems to be real and you're affected with it all day long. Whatever you do, wherever you go you're always affected by karma. It is karma that moves your body. It is karma that makes you do things. It is karma that causes situations to come into your life. Do not try to change a condition. Do not intend to change the situation. For you may appear to change it but this is only an appearance. It will come back again in full force. There is only one way to get rid of it and that is to transcend it by forgiveness, mercy and love. And as you practice forgiveness, mercy and love you inquire, "To whom all this is coming to? Who is experiencing these things? Who is going through all these things?" And again you will discover the I-thought, "I am. I am going through all of these things. I appear to be going through karma. I appear to be suffering. I appear to want to get even with someone." You're beginning to realize it's not you. It is the I. Which is only a thought. Just knowing this alone makes you feel good. For you begin to see that you are free. You are bright and shining. You are sat-chit-ananda, nirvana, ultimate oneness. . It is the I that appears to have the problems. You separate yourself from the I, by self-inquiry. And then you can go further by inquiring, "Where did the I come from?" You never answer that question. By inquiring that is sufficient. And you will find that you're in the silence, the void. Just by going this far you will feel better than you've felt in years. You will feel such joy and such peace. This has nothing to do with enlightenment. But you're going to feel joy and peace. More so than you ever felt before. Just by inquiring, "Where does the I come from?" The reason that you feel such joy and peace is because you begin to realize that you are not the I. You have absolutely nothing to do with the problems of the I. It is the I that feels anger. It is the I that feels pain. It is the I that feels rejection. But you ask yourself, "What have I got to do with I? I have absolutely nothing to do with the I." Therefore again you ask, "Then where did the I come from? Who gave it birth? What is its source?" And you keep quiet. A feeling of total love will overpower you. For you're learning to sit in the silence. . That's the most important point. You want to get to the place where thoughts do not bother you, where things do not annoy you. Where there are no problems and there are no solutions. Where there is no good and there's no bad. You want to get beyond duality and rest in the silence. Many of you are getting a glimpse of what I'm talking about right now, as you rest in the silence. You're not thinking about it, you're not trying to analyze it, you're not trying to make it happen, you're just resting in the silence. Perfectly still. All of a sudden thoughts come up again. You start over again. You begin again. You inquire, "To whom do these thoughts come? Who is thinking these thoughts? I am? If I is thinking these thoughts then it has absolutely nothing to do with me. It appears to me as if everything is attached to the I. All of the emotions, the fears, the frustrations, it's all attached to the I." Again you say, "Where did the I come from? What is the source of I? Who gave it birth?" You never attempt to answer. You sit in the silence. . Some of you are beginning to feel how good it is to sit in the silence right now. The mind is completely empty. The fears are gone. There is nothing left to tell you anything. You are quiet, still. Thoughts pop up again. It makes no difference if they're good thoughts, bad thoughts or in-between. The whole idea is to empty the mind of all thoughts. You inquire again, "Who is thinking these thoughts? I am? Who am I? What is the source of I? Who gave it birth? Where does this I come from that is giving me all this trouble and keeps thinking and thinking? And bringing up to me all these morbid thoughts, all sorts of happy thoughts, all sorts of thoughts. Where did this I come from? What is its source?" And again you enter the silence. Where everything is totally still. Where there is no movement. The vasanas have disappeared. There is just perfect stillness. You're beginning to discover something very interesting. You're beginning to discover that you´re able to sit in the silence for longer and longer periods without thought. It's taking longer and longer before a thought comes to you. . Yet you are not falling asleep. You're feeling a peace that you've never felt before. You're beginning to feel an all encompassing love. You begin to experience that the whole universe is an emanation of your own mind. And what you have done is you have pulled the entire universe into your heart, everything! All of the galaxies, the milky ways, the planets, the earth with all of it's manifestations, everything has vanished. That's total silence. […] […] When you're sitting in the silence and the world is still available to you that is not silence. That's a false silence. The true silence is when the whole world, the whole universe, people, places and things have all disappeared. You have pulled them back into the heart centre. That is the true silence. For there is no longer anything to think about. Everything is gone. There is just the void. The beautiful precious void. And you're beginning to sit in that void, in that silence for longer and longer periods. When you come out of it the world appears to you again but it's different. It begins to be different for you. You no longer look at the world in the same way. You no longer see the universe in the same way. You begin to feel everything as an image. You see images on the screen of life. The images keep changing, changing, changing but the screen is always the same. And something begins to tell you that you are that screen. You have always been the screen. Unchanging, absolute pure reality. . But you are not free yet. This comes and it goes. Little by little the thoughts come back again. You begin to feel anger again but less than you did before. You begin to have less interest in your body. The things about your body that used to bother you stop bothering you, stop annoying you. People no longer make you angry or frustrated. This happens little by little. And you can't wait to practice again. When you are by yourself and you're not disturbed you sit down in your favorite chair and you begin to inquire, "To whom do these thoughts come? Why they come to me. I still feel thoughts. Maybe less than I did before but I still feel things," you further inquire, "who is the I that feels these things? Where did the I come from? Who gave birth to this feeling I? What is its source?" And now you begin to feel that the I is only a thought. It is one of the thoughts that you've been thinking about all these years called the I-thought. Yet everything is attached to it and you keep seeing it and thinking about it. But now you're inquiring, "To whom does it come? Who's feeling it? What is its source?" . And you go back into the silence. Now every time you get into the silence you feel better and better. You feel lighter and lighter. The world again, the universe they're getting sucked into your heart. The whole universe has gone. All existence has disappeared. Including yourself. There is nothing but the silence. (long silence) (...) Om ... shanti, shanti, shanti, peace. -- Robert Adams, T136: The True Silence

YOUR TRUE NATURAL STATE = the body of water. totally at peace. in bliss and joy. Then a fish jumps out of the water. The fish jumps out of the water and lands on the riverbank. It flips and flops as it suffers... It longs to return back to the water. Another fish also jumps out, lands at the riverbank... flips and flops and then eventually goes back into the water. There are many fishes which have jumped out of the water, they flip and flop and make their way back to the water or die while trying and suffering at the riverbank. The fishes are your thoughts. All desires/projections/questions you ask are fishes jumping on the riverbank... and until that question is answered, or desire is had or a fear is overcome, the fish remains at the riverbank... suffering... you are not at peace. you have an itch. when you ask how do i get enlightened or how will i have an awakening - you are jumping out of the water and you suffer in the search for the answer... the answer is the water! jump back into the water and stay there. while in the water, realize that you are already where you need to be. that is enlightenment. that is awakening. that is the pathless path of ignorance. when the ego/mind is told to be still and remain calm and remain silent. it does not get it that the peace and silence is a simple ordinary experience. that is happiness. the end of the activity of the mind. asking questions about it... like how will that help me get awakened or enlightened is another fish jumping out of the water... you cannot be awakened/be at peace until all of your fish are back in the water. and remain there. now fishes still may will jump out of the water even after you get this. however, you will then know that you are water, which is at peace, in bliss, in happiness. you will simply watch the fish as you watch the clouds in the sky until the fish jumps back into the water you will not suffer from it's suffering because you are no longer identified or giving weight to the thought/question idea. rest in your INNER PEACE <3