Rigel

That’s a hard balance to strike. Ultimately none of your stories matter. They are all false. Suffering doesn’t matter. Goals & dreams don’t matter. The way you feel also doesn’t matter. You could just grasp that no trying will ever work & drop all that shit right away. But I get the paradox. It seems like it’s sooo important. It feels like life & death I know. I think action always trumps the alternative but you might not be able to stomach that much action right away. There’s nothing wrong with pulling away from what you are trying to do, gathering yourself & trying it again later(even tho “trying” will never solve your actual problem). Yoda had a point y’know

No it’s a basic human function that you evolved to perform often & you suffer precisely because you don’t do it(and a million other things). not doing it puts pressure on your back. You are always compensating for weak hips, knees & ankles if you can’t adopt that position. But again it’s most likely a messy combination of all the ways you hold your structure wrong that adds up to your pain so you gotta think more broadly than just squat too. Really the solution here is consciousness. See how many ways there are to lift a cup to your lips as an exercise. Some of them are bio mechanically efficient & make sense. Some of them recruit 10x the amount of energy required or more. Now realize that that is your entire physical existence. The way you move every second of every moment matters.

Oh Woaw this is definitely your best costume yet 😂😂

There’s no victim here unless you identify as such. You choose to numb yourself & stay up all night at the end of all your excuses. Does technology make it harder? Yes. So what? It’s still not causing it & it’s still a choice.

You are causing insomnia using tech & could stop at any point is probably a more accurate way to say this. Or not, you seem to be enjoying your neurosis.

Here’s a few other considerations: Spend some time in a deep squat every day. Inability to open up your hips puts massive pressure on the back. Check to see the state of your hip flexors. Do a split squat & feel if the hip area on the front side of your back leg is tight. If it is keep doing that movement in deeper ranges progressively. No bio mechanical process in your body works in isolation. Low back pain doesn’t mean that the problem is in the low back area. It’s all one complex system. It could come from many places.

How long has it been? Repairing the damage caused by most shoes that exist out there is a project of literal years. Edit: And it’s not like just changing footwear will solve anything without your conscious effort. It’s literal years of focus & attention on your structure. And it’s like sleep. Having functional feet is non-negotiable but insufficient. Weakness is not an option.

Look up pictures of suicide cases a few days before they committed it. People look happy even tho they aren’t. It’s almost expected that you fake happiness in society. And happiness is transient anyways. Those people were both happy & miserable just like you and I. Trading half a dollar for 50 cents.

How do you like the feeling of wind on your head?

Cool I am glad to see a Christian being a Christian! Reminds me of the grass outside having a blast being grass. Then it dies & none of it mattered or was real in any kind of absolute way:D Just like all the other stories we tell ourselves. I gotta admit Christianity is a juicy one.

Check him out for what?

Refocus on different focal lengths often. Every once in a while look away in the distance & feel your eyes working to switch focus. Changing focus is literally moving your eyes & movement is healing all across the board. Move them! You are working out your eyes by refocusing like this.

Head on

Don’t believe yourself. It’s so easy to turn a 2/10 suffering into an 8/10 suffering just by using your mind wrong.

The one you take a higher dose of.

Are you cramming your feet in trash narrow shoes all day?

I have been observing this in myself & others for years & I still don’t know how to deal with it. It makes me disgusted & disappointed in myself first of all & then the world. I don’t believe myself when I think that but I waste a lot of time & energy in this pattern. How do you make peace with that fact? My ego isn’t ok with the human condition being as it is. It whines all the time. Thank god I actually see it & don’t act all judgmental & critical around other people. I still suffer for it though.

Leo will probably weed out the fangirls & the dumb worshipers. It’s very easy to determine who isn’t mature enough to trip. Leo can just say no go eat your bread crust & come back. I assume people are dumb but not enough to buy a plane ticket before being admitted into the retreat.

I am so glad I had you before getting into uni. I feel like a wizard participating in that while seeing the dynamics from a distance. It’s fun, it’s like monopoly. It’s pretend importance but it generates a bunch of interesting experiences.

His advice is very specific to muscle building & unholistic. The dude can’t even broad jump or scratch his back. There are better fitness people out there. The whole appeal of his stuff is that it’s funny.

The whole point is the people you will meet there. In other words, it’s the friends we made along the way😂. But for real. Friends that align with the same interests as you. And you could be lucky & have a good teacher that teaches life beyond your curriculum. Such teachers exist. Some of them are not good but that’s for you to decide. If I was bold enough to give advice, I’d say keep your independence of mind. Some of them will try to gaslight you into their non sense. You know better(unless you don’t! Don’t be arrogant!). Don’t believe them but be open and curious.

Maybe I’ll travel once the US gets their clown out of office. It sounds super interesting.

This guy is a comedian!

+1 Lumberjack nose blowing is the only nose blowing.

They all work fine. You need your own mind, a way to record it & to access it back. They all do some version of that. People shit on me for liking Apple notes but I tried all of them & settled there lol. A-Notes also stores locally(& cloud) on top of exporting in .txt & .pdf if you want. Apple Pencil & convenience of the cloud options is the thing that makes it more worth it than obsidian for me.