Javfly33

If I really pay close attention to my energies I can sense a subtle fear going on always. This fear is usually masked and 'numbed' by all kind of distractions, from socialisation to sports, to shopping, visiting places, ...etc. Anything to not feel this subtle fear, anxiousness, uneasiness. Is only when I can manage to establish myself in a very high consciousness state, that I can tap with a certain sense of confidence, joy, power, etc... This are certain tricks that I have managed to develop after hundreds of hours doing Yoga. But the tricks or tools are still very rudimentary so they are still accidental. I guess there´s no solution for this but to live in an awoke state all the time. As long as one is identified with body and mind, it seems this subtle terror will always be there. The only solution is to go beyond it, but who knows how much it will take there, maybe years and years of going through the mud. Is insane how do we got ourselves into this mess. The ego. I guess the only solution is to surrender, keep meditating, keep doing the Lightwork. At some point the devil must be break for good. I only hope that moment won´t be death, that It will be a bit earlier, so life can be truly enjoyed.

Experientally, It seems i am Nothing. Absolute Nothing that exists. Empty space, non a biological nor even a physical thing. I cant even say i am inside a body, the Empty Nothing appears but It doesn't seem to have an start nor an end. Death is my natural state. Because only biological things can be Alive. 🙏😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫💥💥💥😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Ok so i think im having another Awakening now. I was seeing an Instagram story, a Photo of a famous girl she just uploaded the photo minutes ago, i dont know personally this girl but i just realized i am physically not separated from her. The nothingness field is boundless, not a beggining, not an end. I am there. Is all me. What the hell is. This. It can not be true. I deny the possibility of this shit being actually true

So basically the default mode Network is the hell we have to endure us Who are not enligthtened 🫠

Shamavhi

@Thought Art Thats a great compliment lol. If you think i was tripping that definetely says my strictly sober sadhana IS working as a charm 💥💥👌

🙏🎇

Is better to not think about It or head explodes 😵‍💫🤯

Yeap, thats very counter intuitive. What you mean by that?🤔

Haha... I hope you right 🤞 It´s crazy that you say that, I literally stop eating meat for that reason, but I never read that, I just intuited it from psychedelic trips. Is true. (also not just when being slaughtered, when you eat any food you absorb all the 'memory' that that food has accumulated) 🙏 There´s no other way anyway Right, And most humans live in this dukkha nearly all the time, is just masked by constant external stimulation. Yeap- that´s exactly the one I mean. Right, lately I wonder, why the hell I am afraid just being but my own, in the silence? How the fuck just being alone in silence makes me anxious?

I have turmeric, which i believe It has some natural opioid activity, paracetamol and benzos. This should help me for the 5-6 days of the unconfortable physical withdrawal. From there i think is just psychological games until you just forget about them. At this point i just dont get anything positive from them. I just take little dose everyday to not feel physical uncomfortable symptons. Literally with my yoguic practice that i have returned to now i feel brighter, happier, even "higuer" that when i take them. They actually bring my mood "down" but since the body is habituated i end Up always doing a dose to get this physical uncomfort out of me. 😪 Should i expect to have PAWS or something like that along the way? Now thinking about Ive doing opiates probably for more than 5 years 🤯 Kratom become Life Coffee lmao. I ve taken breaks but i think i never have gone more than 2 weeks withouth them. It was always Kratom but this last year ive been riding the oxycodone dragon. Funny enough oxy seems less nasty and uncomfortable to withdraw from than Kratom. I quit oxy 2 month ago and switched to Kratom. Then i realized kratom sucks, i dont like this, and to withdraw from It i got some oxys again 🤣 so smart i know. Now been doing oxy for a week. I have to quit now that the body is fresh and there is not much physical dependence. Opiates used to brighten my Life, now they feel like a burden 👎👎👎

yeah for sure turmeric has to have some opioid activity, I would feel a light buzz in the past, nowadays I dont know why. @Carl-Richard This is the solution I can just swallow 3 or 4 of those with no problem, tasteless, just swallow it with some water.

Got it🙏 Keep going then 🙌

Thinking about Love or Oneness is nice but is no where near close the real deal. If you want to really Enjoy this creation youll have to learn how to switch from Mind games to actual connection with Reality. Wherever you are, be It at your home, with people or running your usual errands, you must make sure you are in harmony with whatever is happening, which always is: Reality, the present moment. Are you able to include everything as part of Yourself? Im not talking about people even. I even mean sounds and objects. If you develop an ability to lock your energies and focus into the present moment, and Become a Super Perfect Conductor of whatever is happening, you Will experience instant Love with whatever is happening. Lets say you are with your loved partner, or your dearest family members. You experience a sense of connection, of Love, of Harmony. Good. Now when you go do your groceries, when you are walking down the street, you must be able to feel instant Love with the car that is parking, the voices that are coming from the car and the Christmas lights. This is You. This is Absolute Inclusion. Now, when you are able to Live like this, in this level of inclusion, you are always in Love. A random person doesn't Matter less than your dear mother. Both are Reality. A car doesn't Matter less than a human. Both can be totally included in your energies. A car that is parking, the awareness of the car, experience that with utter reverence and connection in the same way as you would do with your parner. Because Guess what, is your Mind that creates the differences and comparisons, and limit this Love only with little moments or specific persons. My point is: Learn how to make Love with a fucking bin bag 😃 Then i guarantee you, you wont have time to be thinking or debating about Love, you will be too busy enjoying the Bliss of state of consciousness of Oneness wherever you are 🙏 Is my wish and my blessing this becomes a living reality for you. 🫂🎄

What is "emotional labour" ? "overall"? If its a Joy, why you created this topic?

What does "emotionally challenging" mean? Tomorrow you might die. Your "Life purpose" might take years to materialize. Do you really think is smart to make the process to get there a misery?

One day, maybe one day...you´ll see how pointless is to be constantly running in circles trying to grasp Reality thinking. Solipsism, not solipsism, infinite povs, my pov, etc... Is all the same games. mind Games. No one is interesting in opening a different dimension. The ego is at is fullest. You are not doing actual spirituality my friend.

Cool. Not denying that. But what does it give you to forcefully convince yourself logically of this view?

There´s a moment when psychedelics make sense because they can reveal certain blocks of your mind, and they can open certain dimensions beyond the mind. But...is clear that there is also when people go way beyond that and from that moment no more interesting openings, just mental hallucinations, of God, of Solipsism, of Understanding, in summary, of more entanglement. Instead of going towards Liberation and Clarity, more twisting yourself in the mind. That´s the moment when you have to see you are going nowhere, and stop doing this. We all been there, the faster you see it the less energy and time you will loose in this realms. They won´t get you anywhere Real.

The main difference would be the ability to use the mind, emotion, focus, etc...whenever you feel like it and how you feel like it. When One is stablished in Truth, it can operate the mind and body how it wants. Anyone that can not avoid getting entangled with thoughts when things go south, is not Awake.

🙏🙌

I remember when i was doing Kundalini Yoga a lot of kriyas involved 108 reps lol Dont you guys be so naive to think everything is arbitrary. When i first started doing yoga i thought most of the nuance steps of how to align my hands in a certain way, breath, etc was just arbitrary. Then once you start to go Deep you start to see theres nothing arbitrary in It. Is all according to certain rules and armony of the universe. You are dealing with Infinity here, dont you think you are going to be able to tune yourself with It perfectly just by reading 3 meditation steps on a YouTube short. Is Deep stuff the complexitiy with what we are dealing here. Be a bit more humble please 🙏🙌

👁️this moth***er is A*W*A*K*E 👁️

Yeap...

Maybe the "master fear" is because of being identified with a particular body.