Javfly33

@VeganAwake There´s nothing but awareness... I´m just watching this video and I think I really got the joke this time man, i cant believe it

@fridjonk Interesting, I should have asked her those at the beggining, damn. @Preety_India Yes! I agree totally with that. That is the self-esteem i´m talking about.

@LastThursday But the body awareness is identified with it was born, wasn´t it? In that sense romans maybe existed too?

Thanks a lot man, I'll surely check the resources you gave me.

It depends on what you mean on Ego. If you want to separate certain electrical signals in your brain which produces sounds and you call that an "identity", and separate that the electrical signals of a brain 100km from you are somewhat "different". Then, yeah, they are different. But there´s nobody there. Ego is called like a "symbol" to point to certain actions than a certain process do. A false identity is created, but its a symbol, an ego is a map withouth territory

When I ask the mind "Who I am", is saying "I". But i fast see this is just a thought. I have 0 evidence there´s actually someone there inside the mind saying "I"!! I entered this morning for some seconds a truly effortless state I can´t take this, I need to realize what the fuck is happening. I can´t be in that state self-inquiring for 2-3 hours a day and not getting anywhere.

This is happening to me too, since I had some Awakening, I ditched all addictions and what I had left is with a mind that just doesn't fucking stop to arise thoughts of fear, anxiety, and un-groundness. I meditate more than ever because this mind is chasing "enlightenment", but the rest of the time is full of wanting to control and to solve 'things' and basically life has gotten x10 difficult than some weeks ago was . I now know why spirituality is not a common "hobby". What you have to clean all the rubbish some people I understand prefer to stay in the rubbish and get comfortable with it. It's an arduous process and worse is you don't really know where it is going, you just know you are constantly surrendering your sense of self and there's no guarantee you'll get anything good in return. Hell you might even "die" in exchange to be alignment with this Truth. Sometimes I don't know why I didn't stayed playing videogames and forgot about personal development and spirituality. I know some people have just accepted"how they are" and just live between distraction and distraction so they don't think. They will be far from being aligned with Truth, they might be full of traumas and neurosis and egocentrisms, but they look more peaceful and at ease than myself for sure. They just ditched so deep the rubbish than I think they are not even thouched by them. Here we get out the rubbish but until you manage it to throw it away you get dirty, very very dirty . Be prod you are working to be withouth rubbish in your life I guess

@ardacigin Yeah, I mean I am mainly using it for social skills but since I've becoming aware part of my problem is a lot in self esteem/love then I am sometimes still reticent to make goals a way to solve this. However yes I'll keep an open mind and basically as you said my idea so far it's a mixture of this kind of "mechanical therapy" with my own holistic therapy, however I just hope it doesn't go too far to the other side. @fridjonk I don't remember reading that What should I've asked exactly?

@LfcCharlie4 I´m listening to an audiobook of Ramana, it´s helping tremendously. I had underwhelmed self-inquiry. Thanks for the post @Nahm Sneaky stuff. I need to try that paper thing, surely it will bring me to more clarity I hope. Thanks for the wisdom I´m doing a LOT of Kundalini breathing pranayama too, and it´s certainly making this "edgier", because I am not doing the relaxations also which are supposed to be done I Think at least with each Pranayama/Asana. I am forcing myself but I am also allowing that lol. Once the "forcing" it´s recoznized as a part of, I don´t feel it "forced". However the ego does some shouting/screaming here and there while doing the Pranayama this days and says it doesn´t exist lol. It seems that this thought whithin awareness actually thinks it has already existed in the past as a "someone"! (but its getting used to the idea slowly that maybe it hasn´t).

Thanks, that is something I need to contemplate. I'm sure the 'joke' will make sense at the end

@Bulgarianspirit One last objection... I am aware that other's including me are consciousness. That is not solipsism but non duality in fact. However consciousness is having the POV of a person space, in this sense it's a kind of solipsism because for your experience there's only this POV. That's what I still find unsettling.

@Raptorsin7 I just was THIS for some minutes again but I ended up stopping because nothing really "unfolds". I guess I have to keep being it until I get it . @Nahm I am practicing meditation lately quite intensely...however it is strange because I am concentrating like never before but the rest of the day I have extreme ego-backlash. So while I enjoy moments of very peaceful stillness the rest of the day there's again a lot of negative inertia around the body and mind. However at the same time a "space" it's arising slowly at the same exact time of this negative thoughts and self-referential prison exists. This is new. Until know I only knew about "silent mind" or "active mind". I can easily feel the space in silent mind like meditation or Yoga. But what about in active mind? Now there's moments of active mind, precisely "negative mind/tension" but at the same time the 'space' reveals something of another taste. That 'everything' maybe it's already fine. Even while 'negative mind' says the moment is not righteous to exist, the 'space' has righteousness for everyone LOL, including the negative mind. (I hope this make sense) The 'space' it's gaining more 'notoriety'. I like this. I have hope that a seed is been planted very deep. However as I say this, I could be deluded, nothing actually is changing in my attitude emotions or thoughts, the prison seems the same prison. I just hope I soon realize there's no prisioner so the "prison" can stop being a "prison".

How come metaphysical love exists across the universe as a constant? Is it because one trait of Awareness is love? How is it possible that is universal in each being? I just find it so mindfuck that actually the universe is not "neutral" but actually there is something there that actually is groundbreakingly love. I´ve been doing lots of self-inquiry and meditation this last days, and I just had a glimpse of something fucking weird while looking at the window. I was not thinking "this moment is love" but rather, a realization of something being "absolutely like this" was being revealed. It was scary lol. It was something like "omg, fuck me, this is actually real. There´s actually something Absolute" (meaning the "feeling" i was having of love). However who knows. I could be deluded. Leo said if you doubt it then it wasn´t the Absolute/Awakening. However what happend today it felt trascendental af.

What prevents me from realizing myself as a "constant"/absolute? I had a dream last night and in the dream I was watching a movie. But there wasn´t even a body in the dream. However the "I" was as strong as in "awake" life right now. This is really mindfucky lol I honestly don´t know "Where" I am. Maybe I should stop looking in a precise location? (for example I still have this kind of belief that I am behind my eyes,(even if I am awareness) I think belief/assumption is preventing myself from going further)

Very nice report, that's what I call an intense use of a psychedelic. By the way I am not sure if it's safe to mix SSRI with psychedelics like acid. Better do some research because I'm not sure

Omg Those are veeery good pointers, I'm going to try.

@Barna I struggle a lot with self inqury. Because if the question is not "Who I am?" Then any other questions will make my mind active and start giving intelectual answers. How can I ask "What is THIS"? And not look in the mind? After all a "what" is relative to an understanding. However when I ask "Who I am" it feels different because I connect with my true nature. That's the main thing I don't get about self inquiry. Any thing other than "Who I am" will get me lost in the mind

So I'm looking right Thanks hehe

@JonasVE12 Because you depend on a substance to be / feel good. Making sure you are in a positive/feel good state all the time with the effective help of drugs, it's not a recipe for a good life, trust me. The difference is that when you are sober and you don't feel as good as you are high, you actually are very motivated to start building a life and grow yourself to "something" that makes you be/feel in a similar way that when you are high. However if you just take drugs, you are not building or developing yourself really. I could do the same with Kratom, for example, I used to love how relaxed it made me feel, and particularly how it gives you a perfect numbing from your emotions. You are basically able to do about almost everything but you don't feel emotional distress. Who wants emotional distress or dealing with emotions anyway? By that narrative "it should be obvious" that I should keep getting high. However I am lucid enough to see that if I do that strategy, I won't move myself to build a life and grow myself to be who I want to be . It just seems you are asking almost why we shouldn't do drugs everybody. You know Heroin actually is not quite bad for your body as long as is not very contiminated. Why not do it anyway? You can actually have a normal life while in the inside feeling bliss. Well because then your sober life has 0 interest and the only thing that makes sense for your brain is getting high. Not trying to compare weed with Heroin because the latter will ruin your life very shortly while with weed you can even have a happy life. I'm just pointing out the mechanics of justifying "why not been high all the time" are basically the same . With weed you are just saying too "well I'm going to keep using weed because definitely life is much easier and enjoyable in it". No shit. You just described drugs. But the price you'll pay is that you won't work on your sober-state life, a price that in my opinion is too high to justify being high.

@TDW1995 Consciousness practices won't make your social anxiety disappear because of lack of identification with social survival but because of lack of identification with your ego/identity. It's very difficult that somebody will become so consciouss that he wont be concerned with social survival, because those are deeply rooted survival mechanisms. However the identity you identify yourself with ("I'm TDW1995 and I have social anxiety because bla bla bla") that's the thing you have to be "concerned about". And of course, as you have said, "address the issue at it's core". Psychedelics can help very good with this. Although of course, they are not for everybody and must be taken with proper caution and respect. I would advice you to take an holistic approach: Hear a psychologist, read books, try the "put your self out there"..etc and see if you can see a pattern so you can start investigating clearly what you are not seeing yet.

Thanks man, beautiful post and so insightful, you inspired me!

For anyone who wants to get their feet wet into Kundalini pranayama exercises but don´t know what to do since there´s so much information/sources out there, or maybe gets overwhelmed by the complexity of some exercises and ends not starting the practice, here´s an exercise that has gotten me so exceptional results even thought i haven´t practised much Pranayama yet and it´s very very simple: Sit in lotus position and do the following (at the end of each one of the hold up the air on your lungs for 10-60 seconds) : Breathe by right nostril 4min Breathe by left nostril 4min Inhale by right nostril and exhale by left nostril 4 min Exhale by right nostril and exhale by left nostril 4 min Breath of fire 7min Consciouss and observe your breathing 3-4min (imo whatever you need) Meditation 3-15min. I haven´t done it much but i can see this simple exercise it´s very powerful. Today by the time I finished the Breath of fire, the body started doing very strange and extreme shouting/voices and my back also started moving back and forth violently. This wasn´t all, afterwards I started speaking in strange tongues/language and it completely felt like i had no control whatsoever of what my mouth was saying and I was being "taken over" by a another being.

Yeah I think you might've a point. However today I also got quite "in the zone" just with first four breath by nostril exercises. Idk how but they are simple yet so effective. The Wim Hoff method also increase awareness?

Doesn´t give a kind of "vertigo" being consciouss of infinity? Living in conceptual time might be hell but, at least one has a feeling more ground and control over reality lol

I just woke up (from sleep lol...) and I was recalling what I dreamt. It was one of those dreams of "emotional rollercoaster". It got me thinking, it's obvious everything that I dreamt was me, so how the fuck could I deluded myself to think otherwise? How in the world I felt strong emotions inside a dream, caused by some persons that were made of pure dream material! It's fucked up! And yeah, I know why. It's because there's always an "I". However this doesn't provide me relief. It just leaves me more "frustrated". Why in the hell I can not be for example an object? Like the floor I am dreaming inside a dream. I mean its obvious.its made.from the same material everything ( a brain if you believe in that), so why can't? Why I couldnt be in the dream the monster I was Fighting? Why I couldn't be in the dream the girl with whom I was having an emotional.rollercoaster ? When "I" stops being "I" and becomes everything? I really I'm excited for the "reunion" part of this movie God damn it. Im starting to get really tired of the silly joke reality is playing on itself.