Javfly33

The thing is, everybody has to be so fucking perfect in this forum. You just can't have fucking chocolate or pizza anymore ? I'm more healthy probably than 90% of people around me. I've been running since 16 years old, heredited a top level genetics from my father which always surprised doctors for being "so healthy" even though he smoked dope from 21 years old to +40 years old, he was the only one alive from his friends which all die from the drug life, I didn't drink alcohol in my teens, lived in a non poluted city, I was fed with high quality foods from child, ate very little candy, etc. So yeah, I think I can have a fucking pizza if I want. People think they know everything. Guess what you don't know my life or what I've done. I've tried Keto diets, no diary diets, vegetarian, organic diets, etc, so I'm not a fucking dumb guy that thinks that all food is the same. But precisely because of that I know the nuances also of taking things too seriously in nutrition and doing a balance between healthy food and maintanable diet. At this point after what I know I'm highly skeptical of "experts" and people who think they discovered what healthy food is. I'm more interested in an holistic view of the whole thing. Some people might think eating vegetables might be essential of a healthy diet yet maybe for some that won't work well for his lifestyle and his stomach and he maybe should eat a "worse diet"

Dude, if you are so fucking intelligent, go write in some men's health gym magazine, but give me a fucking break

Well that seems a terrible ratio. It must depends also in how you get that number. There's some girls that just will you their number so you finish the interaction Lol.

Completely agree ?

@molosku I don't know if this is too much offtopic but let me reply to your message: Meh, none of my 5-meo-dmt trips so far have been as intense as any lsd trip I've done. Even the 5-meo-dmt smoked (which consensus say is the strongest roa) was kind of "duh". This is what 5-meo is for me: Take it, had a memory wipe, feel so high I lose all thoughts, experience some deep feeling of love/trascendence, comedown, feel totally normal, don't understand shit of what happened, drink a beer to come down of the stimulation. No matter how much I do it it doesn't seem it makes neurochemistry changes (neurogénesis) like the rest of psychedelics do for me. Lsd on the other hand is an adventure of insights, emotions, states,etc and if I get bored of the "movie", I just put myself in mindfulness setting and experience non dual state for hours in bliss and peace. I would really want to experience the supposed amazing benefits or state that you guys seem to experience. For me 5-meo is freaking useless. It's even somewhat hedonistic even, unlike all other psychedelics which I always hesitate to do because I know they can put my ego through some challenging moments, with 5-meo is not a problem, which make me doubt it's a true psychedelic (I hope leo doesn't read this Lol )

Survival is itself the game ??‍♂️ Don't act you all so pure like you guys are some ascetic monks ?

It's very difficult to make gainz for me eating healthy. I just want to stop eating much of the time when I have gotten to around ~2000 calories. However if I add ice-cream, pizza, chocolate...etc I can eat more and more.

One and each of them were NOT true at all. Thoughts makes us suffer because we believe them as truth. But What if you would go into a Truth seeking path and found out, that thoughts are not true, never? What would be left?

I'm sorry that you are going through this rough patch. High level reply; Maybe it might help the fact that your mother suffering is in your own mind because you are imagining your mother, the hospital, and so on. In fact you are imagining that there is this thing called "awakening" which you can arrive to, with suffering. Low level reply: - Relax, relax , relax Sometimes we go too hard on ourselves and yeah, we really need like you say, to take a fucking warm shower, smoke a blunt, chill, etc. What you have developed in this years with that discipline hasn't been in vain my main, trust me you will go to higher realms. I personally have had a couple of awakenings due to suffering and anxiety, but yeah it didn't changed much, I would say suffering has been the catalyzer. If in bliss 24/7, I wouldn't have pursued anything spiritual in the first place. More than the causality, I think a minimum kind of suffering is just *fundamental for any kind of spiritual truth seeking

@OneHandClap oh no, I'm not saying Javfly33 created the floor I'm sitting in or the TV I'm watching. That would be insane. I'm saying me as God/Nothing/Infinity is creating Javfly33 body, Javfly33 thoughts, the floor, and the TV. And additionally, is producing the sensation of thinking that there is such a thing as a forum on an internet server , and such a thing as earth, and a person with username OneHandClap. This is being imagined so I have a sense of reality, and get to lose myself in a dream. I can't predict anything you say because you don't exist. I'm just seeing some letters and assuming there is a person writing that at the other part of the world. But yeah, let's put the thing aside ?. Imaginary or not, I'm going to chill and watch some TV and turn off the phone. It was a good talk with you, imaginary or real person ?

You sure there is an earth? I think my hands are the hands of God, that it's the current form God is taking. This thinking could be deluded , but I'm just trying to discover Truth. It really is challenging to think there is out there other humans and an earth existing outside of my direct Consciousness...

@OneHandClap Right...and I'm doing it again haha. Ok...maybe there is some room there for exploration...will try to give less importance to intellectual conclusions and try to silence my mind more

@OneHandClap In the retreat I become conscious I was awake in my own dream. I just snapped my fingers and saw my body and realized I was fucking dream material with the objects that were in the room. That was it. Game over. Now I can doubt it. Sure. That's the way I m going to be able to "play this". By doubting it. Definetely it was one of the most intense euphoric moments of "my life". It was extremely Solipsistic but also incredibly euphoric. I was fucking inmortal. There is no way to integrate that shit. I have to fall back to duality to forget that you are imaginary and this forum is actually right now in my mind.

Well now I don't know what to believe ? Honestly from my last retreat it seems there is an apparent @Javfly33 writing stuff talking to people but sometimes I get a kind of "lights out" or 'zoom out' like Nahm says, and it seems I have no idea what is going on... like There is no self. Yet the body moves and there are thoughts and so on As I said, there's no problem if I am God and you are all imaginary and I'm talking to myself. I just want to try to live as accordingly as I can to truth ?

@OneHandClap fair enough, ill contemplate seriously What you said. Its true that maybe Im relying too much on thought and intelectual understanding

I Dont buy It. Solipsism seems the truth by now...maybe its time to accept It.

The past is truth. I Dont agree with Leo saying "you are imagining there was a past" or "you are imagining you went to School". Of course i did. Other thing is that the School building, my childhood Friends, and my parents Cars were imagined by me. But they really existed (i did imagined them). Of course they existed in the NOW, But they did existed. So the past is truth. This is a different story from the "does the city exist when you are at your home mountain retreat? No because the present moment is all that exists. The present moment is God and IS me. If right now Im seeing a chair and a mountain, thats all that The universe is right now. There is no city right now existing anywhere. But on the other Hand there was at one point a city. Because the past existed.

??

@Zeroguy Please explain

Try a terrible/tough job for some weeks. Live in a terrible neighborhood for a couple of months Visit some war zone/mega ultra poor country. Etc

@Leo Gura Then why I can't have sex with my coffee table or have a deep conversation about politics with the lamp of my bedroom... See I don't have a problem accepting that I might be creating a coffee table with my Consciousness, but...people?? The whole thing about sex that makes it exciting is that A) I'm connecting with somebody and feeling loved (emotional/ego fueled motivation) B) I'm passing my genes (survival fueled motivation) Both motivations would be ridiculous if verified than the girl I'm having sex with is as imaginary as a coffee table! Can't you see I wouldn't be able to fuck her the same if I become conscious I am creating her with my Consciousness ? It seems that the only solution would be to forgetting the Truth and believing that there is some speck of hope that the dual paradigm could be true. But...I'll give it time, maybe I can find the joy in having sex with myself one day ?

@Leo Gura I mean if i discover it's a guy, I would lose the erection. If I discover people I talk to are unreal, by the same logic I should lose the interest and joy in interacting with them. The only way that makes sense to me about all of this is: Since One is the absolute, One can always doubt about his awakening (because nobody can verify your awakening for you) and that way One can always have the doubt of "maybe it's not a dream and it's real" and therefore excitement can still be there.

@AdeptusPsychonautica How do you explain then that you have intimate/direct access to Consciousness (Consciousness = Your Bubble) and "we" are outside of it? Your bubble = Direct Consciousness Access / Intimate We/Other People/Physical reality = You having an idea of "we" having Consciousness I mean it is a strange, to say the least. That's why some of us doubts the "assumptions" of physical reality existing in the first place.

Kinda Depressing? But also such a big relief to stop the fantasy of becoming "selfless" ?

@ZzzleepingBear yet emotional vulnerability it's sometimes bad strategy in much of the world we live in. In stage blue/orange societies, emotional vulnerability will get you fucked in the ass, it also won't get you laid If I'd live in a commune stage green/yellow my behaviour would change a lot. I would let go of much of my ego, I would flow and share more from the root and heart chakra energy, etc. But since I am not, I have to make this act of "I don't give a shit, you aint real anyway" to not feel empathic so I can be as selfish as I want and that way I can avoid getting fucked in the ass continually. As I said, the last 2 years I work a lot with connection, emotional vulnerability, etc and honestly all that it reached me is that people are selfish as Fuck, they don't have a clue about non duality so they NEVER will see you as themselves. And so since I can't fucking stand being a selfish prick since I know I am them, solipsism is great because if they are not even real I can behave like a real asshole with no remorse ?