Surfingthewave

@Surfingthewave Further insights /additions - The letting go work I am doing is really enlightenment work. - I often give others advice when I need to give myself the same advice. I can be very hard on myself, as I see in others on this forum. - Wonderland really is in every moment. When you fall down the rabbit hole, the world you see becomes curiouser and curiouser. Quotes from Alice in Wonderland.... Lewis Carroll was a master writer. "Who in the world am I? Ahh that's the great puzzle." "Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." "It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then....."

@ardacigin Fantastic post thank you. It's so important to define these states. For me in the past I have got stuck in the contentment state, this could be due to the practices I follow. I'm currently working on equanimity, the ability to reduce craving and sit with the suffering. I seem to go round in circles with this state. What resources / practices guide our work and how often to you have formal sits?

@FoxFoxFox Thanks for your insights. My questions are: 1) What were your reasons for leaving the forum? 2) Since your awakening experience, what advice would you give to those who may be stuck in trying to grasp the conceptual understanding of this work?

@JonasVE12 I've worked in a setting where neurofeedback was used for people with ADHD. Do you struggle with sensory processing also? Touch, light sound etc? It had amazing results. Following investigations, discussion with GP, doctor etc if you think you'd like to try it do it and feedback to this forum. You could always go for a consultation.

Insights this week: Insomnia still prevails, however insights are still appearing late at night. The politics of my country leaves me to dispair but I realise there is something bigger at work, beyond the corruption of our political system, beyond the huge multimedia machine driving and influencing voters and I have faith in that. Energy is key to my motivation. When I'm lacking in energy my soft and hard addictions can consume me. Focusing my energy through exercise, yoga, meditation practice and visualisations will impact my life purpose work and levels of fulfillment. Letting go work has improved my ability to not let things get to me. I almost have an invisible barrier protecting me, or perhaps it's the other way round and reality/actuality is protecting me.

My personal favourite Desiderata by Max Ehrmann 1927 Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. ?

@VeganAwake Many congratulations my friend you've found what you had lost. I look forward to you deepening your insights.

@undeather Good suggestions, I like your no bullshit approach. So many of us get lost when we begin to seek. We loose what is really important, what's in front of us - life itself. To enjoy what we have, to enjoy what is around us and who we are is all. Thank you ?

Big insight in the middle of the night. Maybe that's why I've been having bouts of insomnia recently because things are massively shifting and I'm trying to consolidate. My ego is trying to adjust (or floundering while trying to retake control!). For many many years I have put other people first, as in I've felt that helping others in need (my current job) is the key to to meaning and fulfillment. Well it ain't just that I'm afraid. It's lead me to many many geat things in my life but it's not my life purpose. I'm on track with my life purpose now but I've been struggling with commitment and discipline to this. I think this is because I've programmed myself when in doubt help others. This also relates to experiences in my childhood. But also maybe because I'm lacking in clarity with my LP? Need more space and time for contemplating. Part of myself feels like I'm obsessing about myself. Sometimes when I watch Leo's vids for example I think wow, he really thinks about himself a lot, does he not just miss having a few beers with his pals? Maybe that's what OSHO was doing with all those Rolls Royces. Sometimes with this work you gotta stop for a bit and go and have some fun!

@Bill W Just wanted to reach out to say well done so far with your journey. I resonated with your entry about being entitled and also about our attachments how we are not lacking in anything (from OHSO). I like how you are posting passages on here, very helpful. Good luck anyway ?

@Raptorsin7 Find some ways you can practice self love, what healthy habits or things can you do that make you feel better? Hanging out with pals, long walks, yoga, baths, etc. Yes Leo had some tips in his vid. He also talked about doing a job (your LP) on top of the job you have to make the transition (that's what I'm doing myself). Hard work but brings massive results. You're good at asking questions, finding out about things and working with people. You may find the LP course could be a game changer.

@Raptorsin7 It's good that you're journalling here, what I find helpful is you can look back at the recurring themes of thoughts and habits. Don't forget self love, you seem to be quite hard on yourself at times. Change your thoughts, change your life. Yes this forum can be a distraction, but it can also bring you massive insights. You seem to be out of alignment with what you really want. Coaching will help with this. You're doing all the right things, just keep doing it, be aware of backsliding and good luck!

@Thought Art You sound like you're very near a shift in consciousness. Get ready! For me, I stopped ruminating on the backsliding. I just carried on. I also started to do things that made me feel better as I was wasting thought energy on why I was backsliding, so felt drained so I wouldn't do my life purpose, distracted myself etc etc. It's a trap, a strangeloop, a circle. Break the chain you break the backsliding. Don't give it so much attention.

@VeganAwake Sometimes we need to get away from the obsessive seeking and chop some wood. It's counter intuitive but that's the work. Instead of analysing what enlightenment is, when you chop the wood, master in the delight of the carvings in the wood, the tools you are using and the purpose of the wood. ?

@Thought Art You've solved the first part of the problem as you've recognised it for what it is. The next bit is realising that backsliding is part of the process to growth. The more you go backsliding the more you are growing spiritually. It's counter intuitive but so is this work. The key to it all is not to give in to backsliding. Carry on with your work. Give yourself lots of self love along the way. Well done for getting this far and making progress.

Thanks everyone who replied I will be trying all these suggestions and will report back. Interesting about magnesium I shall try that, I love herbal teas and absolutely a holistic approach is key to this. I'm starting to eat less at dinner time and I've started upping my exercise as I think this time of year my energy is whacked due to lack of light. I also have a mother and sister who both have issues with sleep but that's a whole other thread.....

@IChoseTheRedPill Grief is one of the many reasons my self actualisation path has intensified. I lost a close friend to suicide also and it took the rug out from beneath my feet. The pain and suffering was unbearable at times. Writing a letter to him really helped. As did allowing myself to really feel what I needed to feel. Self love, talking to others, asking for help, meditation, exercise, walking in nature. Time really does help.

@Gili Trawangan What actually in actuality is a belief? Something you think over and over? Something you identify with? Drop it. Let it go. Walk away. You are good with people as you've opened up on this forum and you've shown vulnerability. So your beliefs are unfounded. You don't need to do anything, just be aware that your thoughts are just thoughts, like clouds in the sky, raindrops in the rain. Start thinking new thoughts about how amazing you are and see what happens.

Insights this week: Contemplation: I'm aware that sometimes I contemplate during my meditation practice. Quite often solutions or insights come up when I'm in formal meditation practice. Source: I was being challenged at work about something, it was a difficult conversation. Before I would have floundered and flustered but this time I returned to source during this exchange, became very aware of myself and the conversation went well. This hasn't happened previously so I'm pleased about the results as it shows I'm taking my practice off the cushion into day to day life. This is the ultimate in letting go for me. Wellbeing: I've focused a lot this week on things that make me feel better for example listening to live music, socialising, reading, walking, exercise, time alone, relaxing etc. I've listened to more Abraham Hicks. Feeling better you really are in a position to receive more. It really is working, the creativity and creative energy I am feeling is amazing. I'm ready to continue to receive this abundance in creativity. Ruminating : I tend to wake up with a lot of stuff in my head. Thoughts, dreams, problems, goals etc - visual, sounds and feelings. Mornings are a good time to meditate for me. I'm aware that ruminating and distraction are key areas to continue to work on. I was shocked at how much distraction I do. Perhaps one influences the other.

@Raptorsin7 Thank you! Am still on the wave, let's see where it leads.....

First real test today. Got extremely annoyed today at work, due to a work thing. I was aware of myself ruminating on my feelings of anger and frustration. I went for a swim later on and also used the letting go technique and some of the strategies Abraham Hicks talks about, seeing the potential for the moment for example. It's true what they say, yesterday's enlightenment becomes todays frustration. This is why it is important to engage in daily practices. I still have that feeling of anticipation and excitement. What used to be anxiety is something else. I'm laughing more, enjoying myself more and giving myself more self love. I'm noticing small details more, like the beauty of a piece of clothing, the light of the sky and the amazement of things. I'm noticing how hard it is to let go of the feelings that arise from certain relationships, and the roles I play (work roles for example). Watch this space.

So this week it begins. The receiving. Receiving of love, support, forgiveness, truth, gifts, dreams, wishes, but most of all the now. Although I am letting go, the more I let go the more I am receiving. It is counterintuitive, but that is this work. Fast and slow, smooth and rough, edges that curve, hurt that forgives, receiving the nothing, the most wonderful gift of all. The weekend brought me a surge of creativity, I was able to put this into my life purpose. When you get rid of old baggage you bring in new energy, creative freedom, innovation and focus. This morning when I woke, weirdly I felt reborn. Although I hadn't really slept, I realise it was anticipation for the day ahead, for what I was to receive and experience. But also for what I will be shedding, my limitations, my resistance and my old self. It was like I had a near death experience and been given another chance to live. The morning light glimmered, the air was fresh and everything had a certain dew effect. On my packed commute I smiled. Today I have been laughing more, listening to my favourite music and enjoying the taste of tea. Thank you.

@Matt23 Maybe put the enlightenment work on hold and focus on some personal development. Self esteem work, motivation, confidence etc. You talk a lot about not feeling good enough and validation. You're very hard on yourself. Work on this however you need to for example with visualisations, affirmations, exercise, letting go technique, creativity (whatever floats your boat but only to release energy and not achieve anything) get outside in nature, read some good books. I've been where you are. It's about doing the things you enjoy which are good for your wellbeing first.

@Chives99 Forget slaying the demon. Although you're taking the hero's journey, you're already a hero for what you've been through, you just need to recognise this in yourself. What advice would you give someone else in this situation? Is it difficult for you to empathise with yourself? You're at the crossroads and you know what you need to do. Take off that backpack from your past, weighing you down and walk on by with your head held high. You didn't talk about why your difficulties led to challenges for you, you did say living with autism is tricky so maybe you could help others in the same position? You have a wealth of knowledge and experience to pass on to others. Good luck.

Hi @mandyjwI felt I had to comment on your post. When life deals us really really difficult situations, what I've realised lately is we are always supported. Perhaps your need to release emotions is important as it will help you move through this. The person you saw in your dream was the person who has lived a fulfilling and happy life. Do what you need to do to be that person, or perhaps you are already? Sending love.